4968 Total Reviews

Phenom Mega V Orange Guava Passion

Phenom Mega V Orange Guava Passion
It's been a rough day at the gym and you are beat. You spent an hour just juicing your pecs and then went to a three hour spin class. You didn't even know what spin class was, it was just on the activities board and you had time. You're still not sure why it was three hours long, but your muscles are screaming and you can barely move. Lucky for you there is a small concessions stand in your gym. They sell a lot of juice and smoothies, but the thought of drinking something with such substance is enough to make you want to vom. You need something that is cold and refreshing. The employee working the stand suggests you try a Phenom coconut water. “Oh no” you tell him and then you proceed to tell him how you had coconut. The man assures you that it is nothing like coconut in a cookie or dessert, it is it's own thing. Who are you to argue with a professional? You choose the orange guava passion flavored one because you are no fool and anything with guava or passionfruit is always going to be the option you pick, put the two of them together and you have a no-brainer on your hands. You take off the cap and gulp down half the bottle (who could blame you after three hours on that damn bike?). The employee was right, this doesn't taste anything like the garbage coconut your aunt puts on everything she calls dessert. Actually, you quite enjoy this and you actually feel yourself getting re-hydrated. Unfortunately neither the guava or passionfruit are very upfront but the collective tropical flavor of the three fruits (which really doesn't taste like any of them individually) is quite tasty. Before you know it the carton is empty and you go to buy another one. The employee suggests you stop being such a glutton and drink some water instead. Isn't the whole reason you're in the gym to get in shape and stop being a slob? You tip your non-existing hat, which makes you look like a moron and head to the locker room a person forever changed.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement and Coconut
Company
PhenomWebsite
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Author
Jason Draper on 5/3/12, 10:12 PM
Share
Direct Link

A-Treat Birch Beer

A-Treat Birch Beer
After every successful mission the boys from the A-Team would reconvene at their secret hideout in eastern Pennsylvania. There they would debrief and then relax with their hobbies outside of being solders of fortune.

B.A. Baracus found his inner peace while making sodas. Thinking he was clever he named then A-Treat. He would always try to hand them out to the rest of the boys for a job well done, but none of them really gave him much attention as they thought he was an idiot due to his inarticulate speech. B.A. didn't let that get him down though he just kept plugging away making his soda.

He became enthralled in the sodas of the region, specifically birch beer. He was determined to create the world's greatest version of this drink. He tinkered for weeks with it. He was so pleased when he was done that he ran to the others to try and get them to try it. He was so happy when Hannibal grabbed the bottle and took a swig. He said that it was decent albeit a bit too syrupy for his liking. He said it kind of tasted like it should be birch beer flavored cough medicine, but that strangely didn't make it bad. He also likened it to a birch beer version of root beer barrel candy. Then he handed back the bottle. B.A. was so ecstatic that he didn't even realize that Hannibal had slipped some drugs into the bottle before he handed it back. B.A. finished the bottle and then the next thing he knew he was on a plane off to another mission. Damn Hannibal!
Rating
🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺
Categories
Root Beer and Soda Pop
Company
A-TreatWebsite
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Author
Jason Draper on 5/3/12, 6:34 PM
Share
Direct Link

Wat-Ahh! Power

Wat-Ahh! Power
I feel sort of stupid reviewing these drinks, because they are essentially just water. Sure each one has a little something added for a benefit, but you can't taste it at all. Well, maybe you could taste it if you had insanely powerful taste buds, but I assure you I only have an unnaturally strong sense of smell.

What we have in this instance is a bottle of vapor distilled water with magnesium added to it. One would think that this is some kind of energy water since it's called “Power,” but the name is just because magnesium helps to build strong bones and muscles. The bottle says that it's a nice change of pace from eating spinach. I say they are wrong. Spinach is delicious and I eat it all the darn time. I also drink a cubic butt load of water a day, so I guess it's for those of us who don't get enough of either, but yep…€¦it still tastes like water.
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement and Water
Company
Wat-Ahh!Website@WATAAH
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Author
Jason Draper on 5/2/12, 7:41 PM
Share
Direct Link

Big Red Zero Calories

Big Red Zero Calories
This has been sitting on my shelf for longer than any other drink I have to review. I don't particularly like Big Red. It tastes like bubble gum with a hundred pounds of sugar added to it. After one sip I swear I can feel my teeth rotting. On top of disliking the flavor, I also am not a fan of most diet drinks. That is two strikes going against this drink and it was enough for it to sit in my cupboard for over six months.

I decided I should start working on getting all of these older drinks reviewed before I worry about the newer ones. Basically I was sick of looking at this can every time I opened the cupboard. The company sent us samples and it was a “preview” can that is just a silver can with a sticker on it. I actually like the look a lot, and I wish it were the real label. I looked online and apparently this new diet version of the drink is sweetened with sucralose, Ace-K, and aspartame. That's a whole lot of artificial flavors that I want little to do with. The thing is, I found this to be better than the original version of the drink. It still has that bubblegum flavor, but it kind of masks the flavors of the artificial sweeteners, and it doesn't tastes like you're drinking an entire barrel of sugar. It's sweet, but not cavity sweet, and with only slight fake sugar flavor. I think you may be onto something here Big Red.
Rating
πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›
Categories
Diet and Soda Pop
Company
Big RedWebsite@drinkbigred
Country
United States
Sweetener
Aspartame
Author
Jason Draper on 5/1/12, 6:14 PM
Buy It
Amazon.com
Share
Direct Link

ojo Fortified Eye Care Nectar Mango Blackcurrant

ojo Fortified Eye Care Nectar Mango Blackcurrant
Everyone knows that carrots help with your eyesight. If you eat enough carrots you can read books in a pitch-black setting, it's a simple fact. What many people don't know that rabbits are the key to even better vision. They consume an insane amount of carrots, and then something happens with their metabolism that creates an enzyme that can cure the blind. The only problem is that the enzyme resides in the rabbit's ears, so they must be removed for the sake of science and in the name of better eye care. Okay, if you believe that, you my “friend” are a moron. In fact, according to the internet, just eating carrots doesn't even help your eye site, you must also do eye exercises. Say goodbye to everything you knew about healthy eating.

I have a tendency not to look at ingredient lists, or descriptive writing on drink bottles until after I drink them. The reason being that I don't want it to affect my review. I want to go in blind. With that in mind I expected this to be mainly carrot juice with mango and blackcurrant juice added. I knew there would be other stuff in there too, but that is what I expected the base to be. With carrots on my mind I took a swig and was pleasantly surprised to find out that it didn't taste like carrots at all. In reality it tastes like a mango orange juice with just a hint of currants. After I contemplated the sip I checked out the ingredients and I was correct, there's not a drop of carrot juice is present. It is all white grape, pear, orange, mango and blackcurrant juice with a whole mess of other “eye” ingredients. It tastes pretty great as a juice. I would never expect that it had such ocular benefits from the flavor. I would have just taken it as a juice.

This is one of those rare occasions that I should have read the ingredients before I drank it. You see this drink contains fish oil, a no-no for a vegetarian such as myself. If you have similar dietary restrictions I would stay away, but if not try it out and give your eyes some love.

Ps. The companies name on the packaging looks like a nose and two eyes. I hope that was intentional.
Rating
πŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒ
Categories
Juice and Sports/Dietary Supplement
Company
ojoWebsite
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 5/1/12, 3:52 PM
Share
Direct Link

Spider Energy

Spider Energy
We all know the origin story of Spiderman: Peter Parker is a nerd, who does to a science exhibit about radiation where he gets bit by a radioactive spider and gains supernatural powers. Exciting, but ultimately just a story. What you may not know is that scientists have recently found spider webs in a radioactive area where no life should be able to exist. What that story doesn't tell you is that they have found the spiders in question, captured them and scientists have studied them in captivity. They came to the conclusion that a bite from one of these spiders can in fact give you super human strength and powers, and the military has been working on a way to weaponize that. In addition they have discovered that if the venom is significantly diluted it can be used to make energy drinks. These drinks give you a limited range of the abilities of a full dose for a few hours. They thought it would be a nice gift to the citizens of the United States. Having super powers, even for a limited time is a dream for most Americans. It's unfortunate that in the sea of energy drinks that has flooded the market “Spider Energy” has been virtually lost.

The strange thing about radioactive spider venom is that it has an orange flavor to it. I was actually surprised that orange juice was not an added ingredient, and that it is in fact the flavor of the venom. It's actually more of an “orange drink” flavor mixed with your everyday orange soda. It's not bad, and the flavor is certainly worth it for those wacky spider powers. They warn you that if you get bit you'll certainly “stay lit” and eventually burn out like so many test subjects before you. If you only drink this beverage the side effects only include crashing from the dizzying highs.
Rating
πŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒ
Categories
Energy Drink
Company
SpiderWebsite@SpiderEnergy
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucrose
Author
Jason Draper on 4/30/12, 5:04 PM
Buy It
Amazon.com
Share
Direct Link

Admiral Iced Tea Green Tea with Ginseng and Honey

Admiral Iced Tea Green Tea with Ginseng and Honey
After the saddest strip club these eyes have ever seen, we decided to try our luck in Ybor City, a delightful little place that I wish we had gone instead of Channelside. Look, no offense to the people of Channelside, but that is a place for tourists and dummies. Thanks for putting everything into a neat little "Off Ramp" style plaza, but I like a bit of dirt and grime with my travels.

We walked half a dozen of the most David Caruso friendly, murder-welcoming blocks, literally over onto the "Good Side" of actual railroad tracks, to Ybor city. I'm on a quest for drinks and the dudes I was with wanted dranks. There is a difference. I saw a convenience store that looked like it would have some gems in it so my sights were locked in. After a few attempts to go into bars failed, I got my chance. We had people waiting outside so I had to make it quick. I grabbed this ice tea, which we haven't reviewed, and skipped some other things that I could have grabbed but I knew our luggage was packed tight and I didn't want to risk not being able to bring it aboard the boat. Cut to this morning.

After a good, Continental breakfast with fantastic home fries, I wanted to give it a whirl. I was reluctant due to it being a tallboy of hackneyed green tea, but there is something else in this can. I can't put my finger on it. I want to say Mason. No! Floral. I don't know exactly what it is but it sets itself apart from the seemingly endless array of "green tea with ginseng and honeys out there. Taste, though... Eh. No green tea bite, no honey flavor. I mean, it's good, but that mystery taste is overwhelming and takes away from the intended flavors of the tea.

In twenty minutes I will board a shuttle to the docks and embark on my travels. I hope we don't have rough seas because between the mediocre-at-best food and a wavy ship, I might just throw up inside of a water slide.
Rating
πŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒ
Categories
Iced Tea
Company
AdmiralWebsite
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Author
Mike Literman on 4/30/12, 10:48 AM
Share
Direct Link

Arizona Golden Bear Strawberry Lemonade

Arizona  Golden Bear Strawberry Lemonade
We arrived in Tampa. I previously mentioned that I was going to Fort Lauderdale but I was mistaken. The flight was fine and the weather was fine. Jessika and I hadn't eaten so we decided what better thing to do than split a couple pulled pork sliders and a plate of chicken and waffles? Since she has accepted who I am, we went to the store to get water and take a gander at the drink selection. It was alright. You'll see what else I got later.

We hung out by the pool and had a reception for Jessika's work and then made a couple consecutive, poor decisions.

Now I do not go to strip clubs. I just don't. I know the girls there need to make a living, and they're trying, but I haven't been to one since 2001 and was fine with my streak. Other people go, that's fine. It's not for me. Tonight, while on vacation, I broke my streak and went. What a mistake. They didn't sell alcohol so there was an astronomical cover, which we somehow haggled to half price. That price included unlimited fountain drinks, which is appealing if you are at an eight years older birthday party, but not a real pull if you are at a seedy establishment such as this. When the front girl said "sweet tea" was an option, though, I decided that it could have been worse.

We walked in and there was one lonely girl on stage, shaking it for one guy who ended up being the bouncer. We took our respective seats, reluctantly and then the girls struck. None of the girls were my cup of tea and the one that was the most persistent of them all was pregnant as all get out. She was offering lap dances and asking everyone to buy her ten dollars Cokes. I've got to say, though, that strip club had some of the best sweet tea this guy has had in a long time. From that point on, I just wanted to go home and drink this drink, which I had put on ice earlier.

It was well worth the wait, too. The strawberry and the lemonade dance back and forth inside your mouth, much like the strippers would have done if there was room for two on that tiny stage and they had more than two dancers. I don't know which one would have been strawberry and which one would have been lemonade, but whichever got the name "lemonade" would have gotten the short straw because that is a terrible stripper name. The drink is just sweet enough and you don't care that it's corn syrup. There is actually strawberry puree in it so you know it's already better than most strawberry lemonades out there.

I've already got more stories for you, but we will save them for the next review. I'm embarking tomorrow afternoon and will be out of range so I'll see if I can squeeze out another story for you.
Rating
πŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒ
Categories
Lemonade
Company
Arizona Website@DrinkAriZona
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Author
Mike Literman on 4/30/12, 12:28 AM
Share
Direct Link

Owater Infused Peach Mango

Owater Infused Peach Mango
Somewhere in a dark dungeon of a laboratory a scientist, possibly a mad one, is wringing his hands together in celebration of his victory. In the light of one of those things that is just two poles that shoot electric waves between them he is one happy little monkey. What are those things called anyway, and why does every evil scientist have them in their lab? Are they a way of turning evil into electricity? These are questions the public has, and which we demand answers! Back to our scientist: He is so pleased with himself because he has created an unholy abomination of water and antioxidants, and to top that he has added flavor to it. Somewhere deep in the pages of the bible god proclaimed that man would not mix water with those who fought against the mighty oxidants, but that did not stop our evil friend. He will certainly go to hell for these acts, but he has created water that will fight free radicals that tastes like a nice peach-mango combination, and that is certainly worth eternal damnation. Even if he does have to “face his maker” his plan is to claim that in reality it is no longer water because it's so sweetened and flavored, albeit lightly. You see he simply made an antioxidant ridden drink. That would fool god right?
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement and Water
Company
OwaterWebsite@owater
Country
United States
Sweetener
Raw Cane Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 4/29/12, 7:43 PM
Share
Direct Link

R.W. Knudsen Spritzer Mango Fandango

R.W. Knudsen Spritzer Mango Fandango
Wait, I thought that Fandango was that service where you could order movie tickets? Oh, it is. I'm not crazy. When I asked you to bring up Fandango, I meant for you to bring it up on the computer, not bring me a glass of sparkling juice. Yes, I know we have plans tonight to go to your niece's stupid recital. Oh good we get to go listen to four year olds pretend they know how to sing and play instruments. I just wanted to try and pre-order tickets for Batman. Yes, I know that it doesn't come out until mid June, but I want to make sure that I get tickets for the midnight showing. I mean it's Batman, he's the greatest “super hero” of all time and he's fighting Bane. Have you even watched the preview yet? I told you to about a million times. Obviously you haven't though, or you wouldn't be questioning me.

Okay, you've gotten me sidetracked. Back to the question at hand: What is this drink? Oh, it's a spritzer that is names “mango fandango.” I guess that makes sense that you brought me it. I mean it's not bringing me any closer to seeing Batman, but it is tasty. I appreciate that there are no added sweeteners, just the glory of fruit. It seems like a lot of companies use apple juice as a base for everything, and I understand that. Pure mango juice would be way more expensive. Luckily the addition of mango and passionfruit juice to the apple juice gives it a great flavor that stands out. It tastes tropical in a completely non-citrus way. I like citrus, it's helped me out many times in my life, but I would choose this type of tropical any day. This is actually very sweet for not having sugar added to it. We should bring a case of it to the after recital party tonight. Those youngsters these days eat/drink way too much garbage and they all seem to be getting overweight. If we turned them on to this instead of regular soda they will thank us in twenty years. Oh man in twenty years I bet there will be at least 3 new Batman franchises. I can't wait.
Rating
🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺
Categories
Juice and Sparkling
Company
R.W. KnudsenWebsite@RWKnudsen
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Author
Jason Draper on 4/29/12, 5:36 PM
Buy It
Amazon.com
Share
Direct Link

Red Jacket Blackcurrant Apple Juice

Red Jacket Blackcurrant Apple Juice
So this is it, friends. This is my last drink review before I board two planes and a ship on voyage to Grand Cayman and Cozumel. No friends for a week. No Thirsty Thursday with Jay and editor Dan. No Trials Evolution. No work. No baby. No dogs. No email. No phone. No internet. I will be handwriting my emails, which I am partially excited about since it will make me feel like a proper writer. "Why don't you bring your laptop?" you ask? Well the answer is that it is incredibly cumbersome to travel with a 17" laptop and virtually pointless if you don't have internet.

To send myself off with a bang, I decided to drink this drink. Now there are several reasons why I chose this drink.
1. I should have drank it when Jay told me to because it expired two weeks ago. Actually, three weeks ago. April 5th, to be exact. I just assume that things keep longer and I don't really trust expiration dates which has gotten me in to trouble before, but I'm still alive so in the long run, I win.
2. I knew this could either be really good or footy. Blackcurrant has exclusively tasted like feet for everything I've drank since doing this site so why would this be any different? Sure, the rest of the Red Jacket stuff has been exceptional, but the powers of blackcurrant are not to be messed with.

These two reasons together invited me to drink this, and only this drink. Sure, I drank that horchata earlier, but my mom got it for me and I couldn't let it sit there. It's milk!

I drink and I drink until there is virtually no apple juice left. It doesn't smell bad and it doesn't taste bad. It tastes like a strong natural apple juice. It actually doesn't have any essence of "foot" at all which leads me to believe that they either forgot it all together or they put just enough in to be able to say they put it in there making it partially but not really exotic at all. There might be some aftermath of the blackcurrant's bitterness, but still, it just tastes like an orchard-ready apple juice to me. For that reason, it's delicious. Nothing really special, just honest-to-goodness apples, vigorously crushed and strained into a bottle that would end up in my fridge only to be drank almost a month past it's "Enjoy By" date.

I made a mistake in the past by not buying a lot of drinks when I went overseas. I might wager a guess to say that 50% of the reason that I got a passport was to go to Canada with Jay to get drinks and not to go with my girlfriend to Ikea and get lamps or something. The latter was actually holding me back. The strength of my love for Thirsty Dudes lured me to fill out that form for the fifth time and actually follow through with it.

This time tomorrow I will be in Fort Lauderdale at a hotel, or if I'm lucky, at some seedy Florida bodega searching for some new drinks. Wish me luck friends, as you might not hear from me for a week.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Juice
Company
Red JacketWebsite@RedJacketJuice
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Author
Mike Literman on 4/28/12, 11:41 PM
Share
Direct Link

Nestle Aguas Frescas Horchata

Nestle Aguas Frescas Horchata
Felix was a cat that lived in Rio de Janeiro. He loved the nightlife and he never wanted to leave. He lived there all his life and was very accustomed to the sights, sounds, and most of all, smells. He was a cat that roamed around during the day to the local eateries and was a common face. Shop owners would leave out saucers of milk because Felix was such a good cat.

One time, it was late at night. Music was playing and people were dancing. Felix was having a good time in the alley just watching. He found himself a bit thirsty so he walked around the corner to see if he could find something to eat. Just then, he heard someone yell, "Hey! Cat!" Felix turned around and it was an old man who worked at a spice shop. The man said "Hey cat. Come here." he then laid out a nice saucer of milk and put some cinnamon in it. He told the cat that he was sure to love it. Felix looked down at the milk and it was quite inviting. He took one lap and was in love. It was sweet, cinnamony, and still was a nice, milky drink. This will most certainly be a stop he makes more often.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Other/Weird and Milk
Company
NestleWebsite@nestle
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Mike Literman on 4/28/12, 8:08 PM
Buy It
Amazon.com
Share
Direct Link

Kristall Swedish Apple

Kristall Swedish Apple
Whenever I drink one of these sodas I always think of rap/hip hop. I know that the champagne spells their name differently, but I still always think of it. This also led me to think that there better be a hip hop song that has the line, “Bottles poppin. Booties droppin.” Thanks to a quick Google search I know that the hip-hop community has not let me down. Like they ever would?

You know who else would never let me down? Kristall. Sparkling water, apple juice and sugar make for one great combo, that's a no brainer. Kristall takes things in a slightly different direction by using a different type of apple. I don't know what type of apples are typically used to make apple juice, but there is certainly some standard. Kristall doesn't use that type. I wish I were more of an apple connoisseur so that I could tell you specifically what it is, but my palate is not that refined. I can tell you that it is a dryer apple, and the flavor of the skin is still intact in this drink.

Get yourself a nice “dry” apple and a bottle of sweetened sparkling water. Take a nice huge bite of the apple, chew it for a second and then let your mouth over run with the water. That will give you a homemade version of this beverage and a big wet, sticky mess. Now clean up that mess and yourself, we're in the middle of the grocery store.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Juice, Soda Pop and Sparkling
Company
KristallWebsite
Country
Sweden
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 4/27/12, 11:17 PM
Share
Direct Link

Mmm...Tea Co. Green Tea, Honey & Ginger

Mmm...Tea Co. Green Tea, Honey & Ginger
At the top of the list that I find upsetting today is that this company has zero web presence. We drink so many drinks that go from garbage to mediocre to decent, and almost all of them have some sort of website or info online. Of course now that we find a company whose teas squeeze our mind grapes in all the right ways, we have no way of ordering more. Friend to Thirsty Dudes Marcus Scott Meadows sent us this tea as a gift. It's made in IL where he is from, and I've never had a drink make me wish I lived somewhere else before. I want this to be readily available to me in any corner store. Actually the fact that it is not pretty much proves to me that god is either dead or never existed.

This is a kettle brewed green tea whose flavor I would liken to the green tea you are served in high-end Chinese restaurants. They take that great tea and sweeten it with honey. I am a huge supporter of unsweetened tea, but when it has to be sweetened honey is the way to go. It adds such a great flavor to green tea, without making it overly sweet. Had Mmm..Tea stopped there I would have said this is one fine tea that is not to be missed. They were not content with that though. To step up their game they cut a decent sized chunk of ginger and put it in the bottom of the bottle. Suddenly this tea has gone from great to astronomical. I've heard it said that the key to a man's heart is through his stomach, well I can assure you that the key to my stomach is with ginger. I eat it daily on everything: Asian food, veggie dogs, veggie burgers, burritos, you name it. The fact that this is not only flavored with ginger, but also contains a big hunk of it is going to make it hard for me to find a better iced tea. Oh and before you ask, of course I are the ginger when the tea was gone. What do you think I am, an amateur?
Rating
πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›πŸ₯›
Categories
Iced Tea and Ginger
Company
Mmm...Tea Co.
Country
United States
Sweetener
Honey
Author
Jason Draper on 4/27/12, 11:00 PM
Share
Direct Link

Gatorade Low Calorie Perform 02 Grape

Gatorade Low Calorie Perform 02 Grape
Woke up feeling 100%. Fed that kid I know, changed him, felt nauseous, half an hour later until now at almost three in the afternoon. Just spinning. I got enough sleep but feel like I could sleep for another five hours. Since I won't do that, I had to come up with another option. That option? Gatorade. I needed those harvested electrolytes wrangled up and put inside of my frail, crumbling frame.

Lucky for me, this wasn't some experimental flavor, but a simple, classic flavor. It tastes nothing like actual, real, physical grapes, but tastes like "faux" grapes, a taste I am more than familiar with. Look, grape pop plays a limited role in my mouth, but grape other things are more than welcome to play volleyball with my "hangy ball" any time they would like. This is an open invitation to most things grape. This was good and more importantly, safe. I will see how it works in my favor after the electrolytes, which plants do in fact crave, fight the dizzies in my head to regulate me back to where they should be. I will fully allow the fight to continue. It's a "greater good" scenario.
Rating
πŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒ
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement and Diet
Company
GatoradeWebsite@Gatorade
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucrose
Author
Mike Literman on 4/27/12, 3:21 PM
Buy It
Amazon.com
Share
Direct Link

Tradewinds Extra Sweet Tea

Tradewinds Extra Sweet Tea
I really wish I had been the one to review the “regular” sweet tea that Tradewinds makes. I would have liked to compare it to this to see just how much sweeter this is. I will say that this is the closest tasting prepackaged tea that I have ever had to authentic sweet tea that I've drunk on trips down south. It's just brewed black tea leaves and sugar, glorious, glorious sugar. There is no mistaking that real sugar taste in here. It tastes like someone filled up a pitcher with water, put in a mess of tea bags, and an even bigger mess of sugar and let it sit in the sun for a few hours to warm it up and let it brew. It makes me want to sit in a rocking chair on a front porch with an old dusty dog. I don't think there's a bigger compliment for sweet tea. Oh yeah if you drink one of these a day for a month I'm pretty sure your teeth will rot out of your head. Make sure you brush properly. I don't want to play any part in your poor dental hygiene.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Iced Tea
Company
TradewindsWebsite@DrinkTradewinds
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Jason Draper on 4/26/12, 10:57 PM
Buy It
Amazon.com
Share
Direct Link

Boing! Guava

Boing! Guava
Grit. People nowadays aren't conditioned for any sort of "stuff" in their drink. They should be because "stuff" usually mean better. Try it. I'm serious. Go to the store and buy something that's just gnarly looking. If I can make a recommendation, something along the lines of this drink or any of the many Goya nectar drinks. Drink it. It's good, right? It tastes like fruit. Real fruit. Real, gritty, natural, seed filled fruit. If Mother Nature was an actual person and made a drink, it would have grit in it. You know that's true.

Take thing drink for instance, it is just guava and a little bit of sugar. Alright, alright, there are some other things that probably don't need to be there like sorbitol but the preservatives are probably needed to keep this "100% Natural" drink alive. This is a good drink, though. It tastes like tropical fruit just like it should. It's also served in a cool, skinny, tall bottle that's embossed with the company name and has some awesome artwork that's pretty out of this world.
Rating
πŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒπŸ₯ƒ
Categories
Juice
Company
Boing!Website
Country
Mexico
Sweetener
Natural Cane Sugar
Author
Mike Literman on 4/26/12, 2:13 PM
Share
Direct Link

Elliott's Amazing All Natural Apple Cherry Berry

Elliott's Amazing All Natural Apple Cherry Berry
Everywhere Elliott went everyone constantly told him how amazing he was. It was as if he could do no wrong in the eyes of his peers. Things weren't always this way, it all stemmed back to a couple of years ago when he went to Coney Island, before they tore it down, and made a wish on the Zoltar fortune telling machine. Why he was asked to make a wish by a machine that was supposed to tell him is fortune is something that never quite sat right with Elliott, but who was he to argue with the results? Since then everything has been coming up Milhouse…€¦.err I mean Elliott.

Elliott had always loved juice, and when he could afford it he would make his own with fresh produce from the grocer. At a family party he served some of his newest concoction (apple, cherry and strawberry juice) to his sisters husband, who just happened to be a very rich and powerful man. Do you know what he said? He exclaimed, “Elliott like you this juice is amazing! The flavors are so smooth, yet present! The cherry/strawberry combo makes it taste like you mixed the flavoring from a Fruit Roll-Up with good quality apple juice!” He then whipped out his checkbook and wrote Elliott a blank check to start a company to mass-produce the juice, along with other flavors.

It's now been a year since that party and things have been going great. Elliot's juice line has expanded and everyone says it's amazing, so much so that he decided to name the company “Elliott's Amazing.” The only fear that Elliott has is that the FDA is going to tighten up their restrictions and come down on him for saying his juice is “all natural” when it is sweetened with high fructose corn syrup. It's only a small worry though, as he's sure that if he gives them a bottle they will look at him and shout, “Elliott, you're amazing!” and then give him a pass.
Rating
πŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒπŸ§ƒ
Categories
Juice
Company
Elliott's AmazingWebsite@Juicemaven
Country
Canada
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Author
Jason Draper on 4/25/12, 9:16 PM
Share
Direct Link

Oogave Watermelon Cream

Oogave Watermelon Cream
The sun is glaring down at you. It's what they like to call "a scorcher" and you don't like it. You're a cool guy, so you never wear shorts and you only wear jeans, a white undershirt, and a denim vest. You're a cool guy, like I said. It's hard to still be so cool when you are drenched in your own sweat. You wish that you could just, for one day, be like everyone else and wear madras shorts, flip flops, and some dumb beer shirt with the sleeves ripped, not cut, off. Then you see your ticket to true coolness.

You open the cooler and pick out an Oogave watermelon cream pop. You would be willing to pay well over the price tag because you just know that this is going to be out of this world. You open the cap on the curb of a sidewalk for two reasons; because you don't have a bottle opener and it's cooler to do that. You've got to keep up your image, after all. You take the first sip and there it is, the epitome of cool. It's a candied watermelon taste that you expected since no one has ever done "real" watermelon correctly. The watermelon flavor lasts a while thanks to the agave but it's a welcomed occurrence. That mixed with the smoothness of cream soda and you've got one killer drink.

Just then, your friends walk by wearing black hoodies, sweating like they have some sort of body disorder that makes you sweat uncontrollably. You tell them to hold on while you get them each a bottle of this pop that you've been enjoying. You hand the bottles over, they break them on sidewalks and lamp posts because it's cool and instantly feel refreshed. They told you that they were about to go to the J. Crew across the street to buy some madras until they got this pop. You told them you understand and won't mention to anyone.
Rating
🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺
Categories
Soda Pop
Company
OogaveWebsite@Oogave
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Agave Nectar
Author
Mike Literman on 4/25/12, 4:25 PM
Buy It
Amazon.com
Share
Direct Link

Nantucket Nectars Half and Half

Nantucket Nectars Half and Half
The year was 2000. Y2K had come and gone without a sound, Bill Clinton was still president, and I had just graduated from high school. After graduation, I moved into a house in Buffalo just around the corner from the coffee shop Stimulance. This coffee shop would quickly become a place I went to a lot. From getting a bagel with cream cheese in the morning, to evenings drinking Snicker-chinos (a delicious coffee drink that tasted like a burnt Snickers bar). Lets not forget their classic weekly open mic nights. Oh memories...

So why am I talking about this coffee shop that has long since closed? Well it was the first place I ever bought a bottle of Nantucket Nectars from. It was a bottle of their lemonade and I was instantly hooked. This bottle is their half and half (half lemonade, half iced tea) and it's just as good as the solo lemonade flavor. A lot of companies get the ratio all wrong, but those folks in Nantucket know what they're doing.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Iced Tea and Lemonade
Company
Nantucket NectarsWebsite
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Derek Neuland on 4/25/12, 2:05 PM
Buy It
Amazon.com
Share
Direct Link