Derek Neuland - 489 Reviews

I was scared to drink this. I was recommended to try this out by my friend Mike Soto, because he said it was the most intense energy drink he has ever had. Challenge accepted! I finally came across it in a gas station in Bloomington, IN. I was feeling pretty tired before I started drinking this so we'll see how it goes.

Observation one: It's clear and non-carbonated. This is unusual among energy drinks. I've had plenty of non- carbonated ones, but I don't recall any clear drinks. It's nice because it means that they didn't add any unnecessary coloring.

Observation two: Terrifying reviews online. I came across this Amazon review that was titled 'You might die!'. This freaked me out a bit. I have definitely had my fair share of energy drinks over the years, but only once has my heart actually hurt from them. It was when I stayed up all night before an 8-hour shift at work and I ended up drinking five energy drinks in the course of 12 hours. It was not a pleasant experience and I have never done anything that stupid again.

Observation three: There is a gauge on the side of the bottle. Yes, to make sure you don't drink too much in one sitting (you're only recommended to drink half of the 8oz bottle at a time), they have a gauge to let you see where the drink level is at. On top of this, there are warnings ALL OVER the bottle. They all say "CAUTION, read label before drinking". I have drank about 1oz so far and I'm already really energized.

Observation four: It tastes good! Really good actually. It doesn't taste like an energy drink at all, especially not a diet one. It's like a slightly thicker berry vitamin water with more flavor. Trying to determine the flavor I ended up drinking another 2oz. Uh oh...

Observation five: This drink is intense!! In the name of science (reviewing drinks is a science, right?), I decided I needed to drink the entire serving of 4 oz to properly review this. Let's just say, this REALLY works. I feel more awake than I ever have been in my entire life. The term "hyper aware" comes to mind. The way I feel right now is what I imagine cats feel like when they see something flying in the air and their heads jerk back and forth really quickly. This is easily the most effective energy drink I have ever consumed. At the same time, I would be terrified to drink this whole bottle in one sitting.

You know when you have weird connections to things and no matter how hard you try to disassociate them? I have one with Rockstar energy drinks. Anytime I see one of their cans, "Rock Superstar" by Cypress Hill pops into my head. Not just a quirky "oh remember the 6 months that song was played everywhere?" type of thing. Nope, it starts playing in my head starting with the chorus. I can honestly say it's been over 7 years since I have heard that song. My brain is an iron trap for music and in cases like this, I hate it so much!

So when I grabbed this can from the gas station, the song started playing in my head as per usual. Luckily, "Till the World Ends" by Britney Spears was playing inside the store and I was able to drown out Cypress Hill. (Yes, I like catchy dance pop like Britney Spears, so what?). Upon opening it I remembered the other reason I don't like Rockstar energy drinks: they are gross. This is just generic citrus flavor with a really strong energy drink taste. I've lucked out and haven't had many gross energy drinks lately so I forgot how bad that energy drink taste can be. After a few sips, I could feel my throat swelling up a little. It's as if my throat is talking to my tongue and wants me to stop drinking it. Gladly!

Cider season is here and it's great. I'm a weird person because I don't eat apples and I don't like apple juice, but I LOVE apple cider. I'm currently visiting some friends in Bloomington, Indiana and came across this at a local co-op. I like normal cider, but any cider with ginger in it is my favorite.

This is my first cider of the year and it was a good way to kick it off. It's naturally sweetened which is perfect because sometimes cider has way too much sugar in it. I don't think the ginger is strong enough, but I love ginger. For me, a good ginger drink is one that is painful to consume and hurts your stomach for a while. This would be a good ginger cider for someone who likes the taste of ginger but thinks most ginger is too intense. Mild is the word I was looking for. It has a very mild ginger taste.

Wilson Farms is the local convenience store chain in the Buffalo area. They are so prevalent that it sometimes seems like they are on every corner. Like most corner stores, they have lots of things you could get at a grocery store but they charge more for the "convenience". The only exception to this is that they have their own line of soda.

At 99 cents a 2-liter, it's a much better deal than Coke or Pepsi. But like most things, you get what you pay for. It's a really bland diet cola with more of a aspartame taste than others. Some people might think it tastes "close enough" to Diet Coke, but I'll pass on this in favor of the top shelf stuff from now on.

Matt loves going to dance clubs. He loves dancing so much that he weaseled his way into a job as a bar back at his favorite club in town, Blue Monday. Yes, they are so original that they named themselves after New Order's most well known song. They even host "New Order Mondays". It's pretty absurd if you ask me, but the kids seem to like it.

Another interesting thing about Matt is he's straight edge. He gets made fun of a lot for being around alcohol all day long, but he doesn't care. His love for dancing overrides his distaste for alcoholic drinks. Since he's been working at Blue Monday for so long, they started taking his suggestions for non-alcoholic drinks to stock. The owner was pretty loyal to Red Bull for a while, but when Matt told him there was a line of energy drinks called "Blu", he jumped for joy. Literally, he leapt into the air. I wasn't there, but I know the bartender on at the time and he said it was really weird.

A few weeks later they got their first shipment of Blu energy drinks. It was a huge success. The post-ironic crowd the club drew loved the idea of drinking Blu energy drinks, inside of a club called Blue Monday, while the song "Blue Monday" by New Order was playing. Occasionally they'd also play "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" by Eiffel 65 to mix things up a bit. It was really gross.

Last time I was there was for the opening day of New Order November (don't ask). They were all out of the other flavors of Blu so I tried the sugar free version for the first time. I was expecting it to be gross, but it wasn't that bad at all. It tasted really similar to sugar free Red Bull. I'm glad to see my friend Matt is happy and the club is doing well with their Blu energy drink sales. I just hope someday the owner will realize that irony is dead.

I've been drinking a lot of diet drinks lately. I'm not going to lie, all those empty calories have been going to my waistline lately. While I'm perfectly comfortable with my weight, it wouldn't hurt me to lose a few pounds. Why am I telling you all this? Well it's to say that since I've been drinking more drinks with fake sugar in them, I've gotten used to the taste, which used to repulse me. Sucralose and its friends no longer taste like chemicals to me. Is this a good thing? I don't know.

One aspect where it's a good thing is I am able to judge the taste of a diet drink a little better. I was expecting this to be pretty bland, but I was pleasantly surprised after the first sip. It tasted like a diet version of the original Go Fast Sports energy drink, but there was something else I couldn't put my finger on. I thought maybe they were using stevia as the sweetener, but that wasn't it.

Honey. That is the main sweetener in this. Totally took me by surprise! It works really well too. Now that I know there is honey in this, it makes sense and I can taste it. It's not strong, but it's really nice sweetness in the aftertaste.

Today was another earth scorching day in Buffalo. I had to run a bunch of errands so I was walking all over the place with the sun beating down on me. I could have really used a drink but I totally forgot to grab this when I left in a hurry this morning.

Maine Root is known for their delicious soda. I personally think their sarsaparilla is one of the best on the market. When I found out they started making lemonade, I was very excited to try it. When I saw it had maple syrup in it, my excitement was immeasurable.

Did it live up to the hype I gave it in my head? It surely did! As far as thirst quenching lemonades, this is one of the best I've ever had. I wish it had more tartness, but the lemon flavor is good and delicious. The maple syrup is what makes this drink amazing. It has this mouth-watering syrup aftertaste that makes me want to drink more.

To the people at Maine Root, thank you for making this but I have a suggestion. Use maple syrup in your root beer and/or sarsaparilla. It's been my dream to find a root beer with it, and I think it would make your already amazing soda unforgettable.

A lot of people fear Kim Jong-Il. This probably has something to do with the fact that he keeps his country under wraps, commits horrible human rights violations, and leaves the people who live there living in fear. I once watched a documentary about the Pyongyang mass games in North Korea. Basically, they put on this huge display of athletes, dancers, and gymnasts to celebrate Kim Jong-Il's birthday. They spent months and months, day and night, training for this. In the end, he didn't even show up. He wasn't sick or had something else to do, he just didn't feel like going. What a jerk!

I don't know about other people, but I stopped thinking Kim Jong-Il was a "threat" when I found this blog: http://kimjongillookingatthings.tumblr.com . This blog is why I love the internet. How can you live in fear of a guy who looks at stuff all the time? What I would love to see is him look at a bottle of this orange cream soda. I wonder if he'd be offended or flattered. It does say it has a "terrorizing taste".

As far as taste goes, he should be really flattered. This is one of the best orange cream soda's I've ever had. It has a really strong orange flavor with a nice creamy aftertaste. It's made with cane sugar and real vanilla. I was expecting it to be a generic soda inside of a cool bottle. The people at Rocket Fizz probably made sure it tasted good in case he got mad about the label. I don't blame them. I wouldn't want to be on Kim Jong-Il's enemy list.

Buffalo weather is really weird. It's less than a week until October and all of a sudden it's over 80 degrees today. Three days ago I was wearing pants and a hoodie, and still feeling a little cold. Today, I'm sweating in shorts and a t-shirt, even with an iced coffee in my hand. I'm sure some people are super stoked it's so nice today, but I want hoodie weather!

Being the "thirsty dude" that I am, I have plenty of drinks in my cupboard to battle the heat and quench my thirst. I wish I could call this a juice box, but it does not contain juice nor did it come with a straw (sadly). Its contents however make up for the lack of a straw because it's delicious. The mixture of coconut and mango is perfect, and it's definitely thirst quenching. This isn't as creamy as other coconut water's I've had, but I still really like it. It's more like a light mango juice with a smooth coconut aftertaste. Perfect for a hot day like today.

It's a hard life being a nerdy football player. What's wrong with a 6' 4", 280-pound jock who also likes to play Magic: The Gathering? I'll tell you what's wrong with it, it cost me my Gatorade endorsement. I was at the regional semi finals and I brought my Gatorade water bottle with me because I like to stay hydrated when I'm fighting Shivan Dragons and Serra Angels. Well it just so happens that the head of Gatorade saw a picture of me on http://www.gatheringmagic.com drinking from my water bottle with my Magic cards in my other hand. Next thing I know, i get this call from my agent saying they're letting me go because "they don't like my off field activities". What am I? Michael Vick? It's a collectible card game, not dog fighting.

Anyways, my agent is in talks with this company Greater Than. He gave me a few bottles to try and I really like the stuff! It has a lot more flavor than Gatorade, plus it has coconut water in it so it has a really smooth after taste. The lemon-lime is my favorite so far because it's light, refreshing, but still flavorful. Hopefully they don't look down on people who play M:TG. I'd gladly drink from a Greater Than water bottle at the next tournament.

"Energy and persistence alter all things" - Benjamin Franklin

This is the quote on the back of the can. It really sets the tone for this drink because Benjamin Franklin is probably one of the last people I think of when talking about energy drinks. The only person that probably beats him is Fyodor Dostoyevsky. Have you ever seen a picture of him? Not exactly what I think of when I think "energy drink".

Upon first sip of this over breakfast this morning, I audibly said "what the hell is that!?" My housemate laughed but refused to try it because he hates energy drinks. I'm half way through the can and I still can't put my finger on what is making this taste so gross. It's like they took the generic Red Bull clone energy drink taste and thought "this tastes too good, let's make it more gross so we'll end up discontinuing the flavor and people can buy it for 60 cents a can at Big Lots". If someone has this internal memo from Relentless, I'd love to see it to confirm my suspicions.

You with the aluminum can
don't be discouraged
oh I realize
it's hard to stand out
in a world full energy drinks
you can lose sight of it all
and the taste inside you
can make you seem so bland

But I see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why no one loves you
so be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are generic
like a Red Bull

Show me a can then
don't be unhappy, can't remember
when I last saw you tasting 'original'
if this world makes you thirsty
and you've drank all you can bear
you call me up
because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why no one loves you
so be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are generic
like a Red Bull

I've become pretty tolerant of energy shots in the past couple years. I don't feel like going back through all my reviews, but I'm guessing I've tried at least two-dozen different brands and flavors. Obviously some are better than others, but for the most part they are gross.

I found this one at the Dollar Store and I now know why. It has a gross chalky berry flavor that is just not appealing to me. Xtra Energy? More like Xtra gross.

Life in the lab is hard work. Long hours, no time to socialize (except at home on World of Warcraft), hardly any sleep, etc... We used to have a coffee pot in the lab. Unfortunately one time I accidentally poured mercury into it. I almost made a cup of coffee with it to give to the new janitor Franklin, but I decided I didn't want to accidentally cause someone else's death.

Sadly, my coffee drinking days in the lab are over. Which is why, like most scientists, I have switched to energy drinks. Most of my colleagues like the standard ones: Red Bull, Monster, Rockstar, Amp, etc... While those are all fine, I prefer to dig a little and find some hidden gems. This Neutron Energy one is one of my favorites currently. I was drawn to it by the name and artwork obviously. I love tart drinks as well and this one can definitely be classified as such. It has a strong grapefruit taste, which is awesome. It has a slight diet taste, but it definitely tastes better than most energy drinks. I've obviously never drank mercury coffee, but I'm sure it tastes better than that as well.

Ever since I was a kid, I loved the taste of cough syrup. Whenever I got sick and had to take it, I secretly was excited. I was a good kid and never abused it or took it when I didn't need it. Even as an adult, I've only ever took it as needed.

Also when I entered adulthood, I found out that most people hate the taste of cough medicine. I was so confused when I found this out. Were they all getting gross flavors and I just always happened to buy the good stuff? This energy drink tastes just like grape cough syrup and I love it. It's not as thick as its medicinal counterpart, but it has a slightly thicker than normal consistency to it. The best part is this barely has any gross energy drink or diet taste to it.

I had a run in with coffee soda once before and it didn't go so well. For some reason, I had a feeling this was going to taste good. Maybe after doing this for over a year I've developed some sort of extra sense: the ability to determine how good a drink will be before opening it. That would be a pretty cool power to have. Maybe I could get on Stan Lee's Super-humans with it.

My drink sense was not wrong on this one. This combines two things I love (coffee and cola) and melds them together in an amazing way. It tastes like a really crisp cola, but with a nice coffee aftertaste. There's a hint of vanilla in there as well, which adds a nice smooth taste to it. The best part of this drink is that it's a diet drink, but doesn't have that gross diet taste to it. (Note: I have been drinking a lot of diet drinks lately so there is a slight possibility that I have become used to the taste of sucralose and no longer find it disgusting.)

I think I need to order a case of this asap because I'm not always in the mood for hot coffee in the morning and I only like iced coffee with soy/almond milk in it. This is my new favorite coffee drink.

I recently went on a road trip with Thirsty Dudes ally Andy Czuba. Just inside Vermont we stopped at a gas station where I found this. I didn't know Mug made anything besides root beer. I wasn't THAT surprised since many root beer companies also make cream soda, but it was still nice to find something new.

Unlike the road trip (which consisted of traveling 1,000+ miles through 4 states in less than 48 hours, seeing 9 bands at 2 different shows, with only 7 hours of sleep), this cream soda wasn't anything special. It had a really strong vanilla smell, but the taste was pretty generic. If they made a version with real sugar, I bet it would be a pretty good cream soda.

I could write a big long story about living in the tropics and coming across this heavenly drink that quenched my thirst, but instead I'm going for the no b.s. review today.

This drink is amazing! Plain and simple. This is easily the best coconut water drink I have ever had. It's light and creamy and is full of so much flavor. Of the 4 juices in this (lemon, apple, mango, and passion fruit), the apple and mango stand out the most with hints of lemon and passion fruit in the after taste. I had a feeling this drink was going to be good since Bolthouse rarely disappoints, but I didn't know it was going to be THIS good.

This can looks like one that would be used in a Foo Fighters video in order to show the ridiculousness of energy drinks. I can just picture Dave Grohl dressed as a club girl drinking this as he walks past a bunch of guys waiting to get in. And then just as he enters the doorway, he half turns around and winks at someone. Say what you will about the band's music, they have made some great music videos over the years.

Unlike the can, the taste did not make me feel like I was in a club listening to Euro Dance Mix 2004. It's a really light drink. This is probably because, as the can says, it is sugar, carb, and fat free. I can't put my finger on what the taste reminds me of, but it's good! There's no diet taste, and there's definitely no battery acid energy drink taste. I wish I had more than just this one can. I could drink this all the time.

I had no idea this was 10% coconut water before I opened it. Judging by the taste, you'd think they'd want to put that in the flavor name. It has a strawberry-coconut-guava taste that is really good! I don't usually enjoy banana juices, but I was looking forward to trying this due to the banana. I was hoping it was going to be delicious and make me like banana drinks. Sadly, this was not the case because I didn't taste any banana in it. Replace the banana with coconut in the name and it would more accurately describe this flavor.