With the exception of grape soda are there any other purple colored drinks out there? I mean even grape juice is more of a dark red than purple. This on the other hand is very purple. It looks like it could be just juiced pickled beats (that would be gross). What is in the bottle you may ask? Well let me tell you, as Naked very thoughtfully puts a comprehensive list on their juices of what, and how many, items of produce their bottles contain. This has 6.5 strawberries, 15 sweet cherries, ¼ plum, 1/5 apple, 1 ½ purple carrots (ahh that's where the color comes from), 1/3 red beat (even more purple fun), 1/8 sweet potato, 91 kernels of sweet corn (so specific), 18 chick peas and a hint of lemon. That is a whole lot to be jammed into one little bottle. As a result this is nothing but healthy. Naked juice is a little on the costly side of things, but it's worth it when you take into account their superiority to their competitors Bolthouse and Odwalla.

While you can taste each individual item that has been juiced to make this beverage, it does have a wide variety of flavors. A combination of the strawberries and cherries is the first thing that you taste when you take a sip. From there it slips into a strange sweetened veggie medley. They all kind of just mix together into their own unique flavor. It's strange, but it's enjoyable. It has a pretty general juice aftertaste with nothing specific being the prominent flavor.

This isn't the kind of juice that you sip whilst hanging out with friends, but it is the kind of beverage that you would enjoy and benefit from drinking at breakfast. With all of the vitamins it contains it would be a nice way to kick start your day.

I don't know how the Power Coco company will feel about this, but I think they make coconut water for kids. I don't mean that is any sort of negative way though. Let's face it, coconut water is generally an adult drink. It's flavors are usually subtle and I just can't see many children drinking it. This company on the other hand flavors their coconut water in bold ways. This is way more of a grape drink than coconut water, even though it still has all the benefits of it. It even only has 5g of sugar per serving. That is way low in this day and age, especially in a drink that is this flavorful. It has a very dark grape flavor, some sips seem a bit too dark, but I'm okay with it.

If you want some sort of hydration for your kids during sports practice, but don't want to give them obscene sugar, try one of these. It will more than likely seem exotic and fun to them, and they can brag to their little dirty friends.

Rumor has it that it's been a rough year for apples. It was a blisteringly hot summer and that's not good for any sort of trees, plants, fruits, vegetables, and everything in-between. I assume the orchards aren't just throwing away bushels of lesser quality apples. I hope that there will be an influx of apple goods like apple cider, apple donuts, apple bread, something. I like apples. I like certain apples more than other but I like them all. Apple juice is good but companies as of late have been really nailing that apple flavor and not just apple flavoring things.

This pop is apple. Red apple. Not apple flavored. It says "natural and artificial flavors" but I'm thinking that's a misprint. It's a really good flavor. It's sweet but it's pop. If you've had Jones before they are a little guilty of over sweetening their pop. It's real sugar though so over sweetening with cane sugar versus artificial sweetener, in my opinion, is way more drinkable. I'm just saying they could cut back a bit.

Autumn, apples, cider, hoodies; it's all happening now, for a limited time. Fall is a short season because you take summer for every day but as soon as snow hits, it's mentally winter. That's the frigidly cold truth. I'm not telling lies over here, just truths.

Kids? I love kids. Why, I've got a nephew. Oh yeah? What's his name? I want to say Mason. Clifford. Little Clifford.

That's what I thought of the entire time with this drink but replace "Mason" with "urinal cake." It's brutal. I apologize. Surely a company wouldn't create a drink that tastes like urinal cakes. Well, not purposely anyway. Something about this drink reminds me of a men's room. I can't put my finger on it. I've never eaten or drank anything from a bathroom, nor do I want to. My girlfriend tells me tales of people going into stalls with a place of chicken wings and coming out with a plate of bones. That happens. This is happening, too and I just can't put my finger on it. Let me try to break it down again. No more sleepy dreamin'.

Initial sip...lemon, like a concentrated lemonade but pulpless. Follow up larger sip bitter lemonness followed by a strange, tangy undertone. If anyone has ever chewed a vitamin C tablet, you know, the ones that are like tiny, compressed capsules of orange juice, that's the intensity of citric power that is emanating from each subsequent tiny sip. The cane juice isn't offensive but it might be the Stevia but it's actually taking a strange turn. Normally Stevia has a small, sharp taste but now it's somehow transformed into a bitter one.

I don't know what's going on in this bottle. I drank it in its entirety but didn't particularly enjoy it. Every sip kept me coming back for more just so that I could pinpoint what it is I didn't like about it. I guess if that's their tactic, they are sure to sell tons of this stuff.

'tis the season for cider. Finally. Look, I like fall because I like hoodies but I love cider and forget about it until it's everywhere and I think "Hey! Cider season really snuck up on us." I enjoy most ciders and I don't know if I've had a bad one. Maybe it's because it's a tougher drink, potentially perishable, and not really indigenous to most areas. The Northeast where two-thirds of the Thirsty Dudes live is chocked full of apples. That being said, I don't know where this drink is actually made since I'm not looking at the bottle. It was from Aldi's and is their home brand if that helps narrow down the location.

With the addition of cherry, I was hooked. It had to be good. You are probably expecting me to dis it now, right? You know me. Always taking you one way and spinning you around the other way. Pulling an old Mike 180 on you. Well, I'm not always that predictable because this was actually pretty good. No added sugar, 100% juice, decent cider taste, not a medicinal cherry taste. That's a recipe for something truly special and delicious. It wasn't as spiced as I would have wanted but that's just me being a snob. It was still good and I have no legitimate complaints.

This was probably a steal at the store, seasonal, delicious, and a decent juice. In the end, you win any way you look at it. Aldi's...seriously...keep it up. You're doing wonderfully.

We've entered a whole new world here people, a wonderful crazy new world. This is a carton of sweetened coconut water with a shot of espresso in it. Note to self it is espresso and not "expresso." I pronounced it wrong for most of my life, well the chunk of my life that occurred after the great coffee shop uprising in the 90s. In my mind coffee only existed as crappy gas station/diner/home brewed garbage until the 90s. Then slacker culture took over and coffee culture arose out of this. I'm proud of slacker culture for creating a place for people to hang out that wasn't a bar. I spent a good portion of my teenage years/early 20s hanging out in coffee shops and it was time well spent. Like that time this is pretty great. Neither the coffee nor the coconut water's flavor are overpowering. They blend together incredibly and somehow a slightly chocolate taste is created. I don't know if anyone else would get that out of this, but I certainly did, and I apparently am the drink expert if 2500+ reviews mean anything.

A lot of my friends pound coconut water after a night of drinking to fend off hangovers. Those same people love their coffee, so I think this drink was created just for them. It's a one-two punch so to speak. I can't wait for the other two Thirsty Duders to give this a try, and back me up on its greatness.

You know what would be great? If the two "famous" Mike Judges were actually the same person. You know in the late 80's he played in the straight edge hardcore band "Judge." Then he decided that the whole edge thing just wasn't for him and he started drinking and such, thus leading to "Mike Judge and the Old Smoke." I don't know if that's the real tale but that's what I always heard. How rad would it be if during that time he created Beavis & Butthead, Daria and Office Space? I'd have to say that he was much better at comedy than making music if that was the case. Why does any of this matter? It matters because the crossed hammers on this can make me think of Judge and nothing else. In the world of 80's hardcore and modern day energy drinks I would have to say I feel the exact same way about both of them. There were a whole lotta bands from that era that blew Judge out of the water and there are an obscene amount of energy drinks that do the same to this. It's insanely tart and not all that pleasant to drink. It's "Triple Citrus," which I assume from that flavor means it's tangerine, orange and a mystery citrus. I wanna say pineapple, but I don't really think that is it. It basically like someone took a whole bunch of unripe citrus fruit, juiced it (poorly) and added that famous energy drink cocktail. I'm sure Judge era Mike would never drink this, just as I'm sure that comedy era wouldn't as well. I bet that at his lowest (aka Old Smoke) he would have downed can after can of this in self loathing. Oh wait, you mean he is two different people? Well at least I appreciate one of them.

I'm thirsty; can you bring me a bottle of Dr. Pepper? All you have is a generic Dr. Pepper? Alright, I guess that will do. Why did you...ok, I guess you opened it for me. Thanks! But why are you carrying a vile of battery acid in your other hand? Seriously??!? You're going to skateboard the bottle over to me!? Deny it all you want, I saw some of that battery acid splash up. Ugh, I wish I wasn't so thirsty. Sure soda isn't the best thing for thirst but it's the only thing available right now.

UGH... yup, some battery acid definitely made it's way into the bottle. It's not THAT bad, but still nothing I would go out of my way of experimenting with again.

Passion fruit. The fruit of passion. Rumor has it, if you eat one right before...you know...rocking the sheets, you will have a better time than if you go in un-fruited. Now a passion fruit drink filled with vitamins and minerals specially formulated to help you get the job done is another story. Fresh out of the fridge, this drink is pretty good. It's got a strong passion fruit taste and a little diet taste but not terribly offensive. The longer you take to drink it though, buddy, it goes downhill.

Look, if I'm getting ready for a night in the sack, I would chug this until the can is empty or I ran out of breath so that's not a problem. If you are drinking it as a casual drink, which is strange since you aren't normally doin' it at 1:20pm on a workday, you are going to suffer the consequences. This drink gets more diet tasting and more cough syrupy the longer you take to drink it. If it tasted like it does now all the time, I would have rated this lower, but since I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt of you slamming this before a sweet night of love making, I'm upping the review.

Sometimes, and truckers I'm looking at you, all the horny goat weed in the world just doesn't do the trick. You need something else for those hungry lot lizards. That something else is this bido Juice. It's for your libido. That's your sexuals. It will help you put another notch on the ol' bedpost while in the (un)comforts of your own truck in that odd bed that probably doesn't have actual bedposts so you might just draw a little tick on the wall. Oh the wall in the cab of a truck. I imagine it looking like an old movie jail cell where there are just ticks everywhere. Truckers, you are men. Nabbin' skirts. That's your second job. Delivering packages and delivering packages. That's what you do.

"Maybe I'll get a Jamocha shake." I said to myself in the pouring rain as we were on our way to Arby's. I don't normally get shakes but I thought for that reason I might get one. One foot in the joint and I saw this...

...and thought it might be good for the site. You know, people like Arby's. Everyone loves to say "Horsey Sauce" and new products are always fun.

As you can see, what I got did not exactly resemble what was shown but I understand not everything can be so fancy. Rather than pulling a "Falling Down" I decided to drink this and not say a word, well, until now I guess. I honestly don't care how this came to me, it was just drastic enough to point out.

I kind of knew what I was in for and it's very easy to explain. Take a vanilla milkshake, crush a handful of starlight mints in it, blend, put more crushed mints on top, drink. That's it. There might have been a pink, mint syrup involved, too, because I can't see how the colors ran so much in such little amount of time. You probably think I'm going to make a "These colors don't run." or "America" reference but not today. Instead I'll come through and let you know what a drink was like. Novel idea for a website that claims to review drinks, right?

It was good. I certainly didn't need as much as I received and sure, I could have just stopped drinking but the chunks of candy were at the bottom and, much like a drug addict or an eight years old boy on Halloween, I just couldn't stop. Poor kids. They just love candy so much. I bet both of those parties would enjoy this milkshake. It would probably help out the meth head's bad breath due to lack of teeth and dental coverage.

Powell's is my favorite bookstore in the world. Sure, I haven't been to EVERY bookstore in the world, but it's my favorite of the ones I've been to. It is literally impossible for me to go there without walking out with a book (or 5). If you're ever in Portland, OR, do yourself a favor and go to their store downtown. It's huge (4 stories, and a full city block), and their used book selection is incredible (which are shelved right next to the corresponding new book on the shelf).

Last week when I was in the downtown store, I saw this bottle and my face lit up! This is a limited edition soda (made by local soda company Hot Lips Soda) made to commemorate Powell's 41st birthday. They picked the perfect flavor combination because this is incredible! I never thought raspberries and pears would go so well together, but they do. I used to dislike how little carbonation Hot Lips soda had, but I've come to love it. The lack of bubbles, and the fact that it's sweetened naturally by the fruit, really makes this taste great.

Books and soda, two of my all time favorite things together at last!

Sometimes you find yourself on tour with a bunch of your friends. You (they) play a bunch of shows and it's fun and awesome and everyone has a good time. Sometimes you don't have as place to stay at the end of the night and that is a bummer. Sometimes while you're standing around trying to figure out what you're going to do you get a call that friends are playing a show down the street, so you go to check it out. Sometimes you wind up on Lagwagon's tour bus at two in the morning. Sometimes you get handed a drink and you would normally turn it down because you don't drink, but then you look at it and you realize it's a ginger ale that you haven't reviewed on your dumb drink review website.

It was a fun night, and even though I don't particularly care about the band, everyone who was around was really nice and we had a good time. The ginger ale was fairly standard. It tasted like pretty much every no name ginger ale out there. If you've had a ginger ale in a restaurant or at a family party you know what this tastes like. The can is graphically appealing though. It's got a nice logo and a pleasant color scheme.

Jay doesn't like lemon drinks. I don't 100% know why but I think it has something to do with how it has the potential to taste a little like Pledge or Pine Sol. I don't get that when I drink lemon stuff and I also don't hate lemon so Jay usually gives them to me. I think he gave me this one and for once his complaint is valid.

This drink is one of the worst lemon green teas I've ever had. It's got a green tea taste that's trying to shine through too much sugar and bad lemon. Reading the ingredients, you don't have to be detective Goren to know that "artificial lemon flavor" is going to blow. There is something else that's pretty bad in there but I can't pinpoint it specifically other than "it tastes like fake everything" like who ever made this drink made a natural version of the drink and mixed in the cheap, regular version of the drink. You can taste what should have been but it's been crushed by the other stuff leaving you with a confused, unsatisfied palate.

Deep in the not so frozen tundra of Worcester, MA there is a factory where the locals have imprisoned a team of polar bears and they force them to make soda pop. They originally made their own beverages, but they realized that they weren't quite up to snuff. So traps and snares were laid and polar bears were transported to the north east of America. Hence he Polar premium line was born. Those bears worked tirelessly on different formulas and recipes until they had created a surprisingly dark root beer with a huge head on it (due to the addition of quiaia extract). It has a nice vanilla flavor, and you can taste bits of caramel in the aftertaste. The problem wasn't making the soda. It was getting people to give it a try. You see, their old line was seen by people as more or less on par with store brand. It was cheap and available everywhere. They knew it would take some time and some marketing, but once people tried the soda they would be hooked, or so the bears told them. As we all know, bears know best. They whispered in my ear what to write in this review. It probably just comes off as the ramblings of a mad man, but who am I to argue with some gigantic polar bears?

I just spent four days traveling across Canada searching bodegas high and low for new drinks. It wasn't until days later in a pizza shop in Philadelphia that I came across some bottles of Canadian Dry Vanilla Cream. I had never heard of such a flavor existing, and I would never have expected top find it in as sea of cheesecakes and peanut chews. Myself and everyone I was with, were super pumped for a vanilla ginger ale. Think about that for a second. How incredibly awesome of a soda would that be? Unfortunately Canadian Dry didn't have the vision to make such a drink. This is nothing more than a cream soda. It's on of the best HFCS sweetened cream sodas I've ever tasted, but it's still just a cream soda and the lack of ginger is a disappointment.

It has quite a strong vanilla smell that reminds me of vanilla extract. The flavor is about the same, but it is pretty thick and syrupy. If this was sweetened with cane sugar it would probably be through the roof good. Dear Canada, America has stolen your company and used inferior sweeteners. You should stand up for yourself.

It's not often that most Americans find themselves in the state of Maine. I certainly do not find myself often enough. It's a great state full of awesome nature and apparently awesome drinks such as those made by the Oakhurst Dairy.

This is labeled as raspberry flavored lemonade, but it's really a glorious lemonade flavored raspberry drink. There is a whole lotta sugar in this drink, but that is the way lemonade should be. I love this way more than I expected to. The raspberry flavor is great. I wish it was still blazing hot summer out and this would beat the heat like nobodies business.

I am out on tour again and this is the first time since we started Thirsty Dudes that I am not coming across an obscene amount of drinks that we have yet to review. Where the van would normally be ankle deep in assorted beverages only bottled water takes its place. I was wandering around Montreal, going in various shops and coming up empty handed. You see I was a man with a thirst, but it's been so programmed into my brain that if I'm out of town I can only purchase unreviewed drinks that I could not settle for less. After about five bodegas I found this can of guava juice. Not a bad find at all. I believe guava has actually taken over the top spot in my list of fruits. Yes, I make top five lists for everything. I am a thirty something year old man who is obsessed with music, dumb movies, comics and non-alcoholic drinks; would you expect anything else?

This is a light guava juice. Normally they are very thick and nectar like, but this is very fluid and not as overly sweet as others I've had. I'm just waiting for this fruit to have it's day in the sun. Pomegranate and acai have been in the spotlight for far too long. They need to discover some crazy health benefits for guava so that everything can be flavored with it. The world needs more guava in it. Pray for Mojo.

Next Sunday Mike and I will be going to see Insane Clown Posse. Mike was given tickets for some unknown reason, so we're going as scientists to watch the Juggalos in their native habitat. We certainly would never have spent money to go to see them, but when it's free why not? Hopefully we'll get to witness the rare mating ritual of a "down Juggalette" eating a hot dog, whilst her face make up drips all over it. Okay, now that I have made myself vom, let's talk about this drink. In order to mentally prepare myself for the voyage ahead I decided to drink some Moon Mist. Actually back to ICP. Do they have a specific flavor of Faygo that they spray everyone with, or are they non-discriminatory about it? I would guess they would use Red Pop for the most visible coverage. Oh well.

So yeah, Moon Mist. It tastes like crab juice...err Mountain Dew, as is to be expected. The twist is that it has slightly more lemon-lime flavor to it than it's major corporation big brother. Not being a fan of original Mountain Dew this didn't do much for me, but if that's your cup of tea this would be a nice alternative to mix things up a bit.

Summer is depressingly over. If you live where I live, you can essentially kiss the sun goodbye (great album name that is available with credit given to me) for the next six months. These are things we deal with on the East Coast. Oh it's bright and you still need sunglasses but you can't see the sun and need twelve jackets to fight the ice age that is northeast winters. It's fine. It's really no big deal.

Why do I bring up the sun and a paragraph of nothing before I review a drink? Well for two reasons mostly. Number one is that I'm trying to create a picture and a scene and number two is that we are terrible at writing drink reviews. You can't really say otherwise and if you do, well, thanks. You're too kind. Wrong, but kind. We're narrative masterminds but we are not product reviews.

So aloe is used to cure us from the sun's lashings upon our fair skin. Human skin was made for holding in our muscles, guts, and organs. "Guts" might be slang for organs so I might have just said the same thing twice but I didn't want to leave anyone out. Now that the sun isn't out we can't get burnt, the role of aloe turns from topical to internal usage. That's right. Aloe drinks are winter drinks to prep our skin from the inside out to prepare it for the emergence of the sun come April. What better way to do it that with the help of Aloic? It's not overly sweet, still has a ton of chunks, and that grapy taste that anyone who likes grape juice or has drank an aloe drink in the past loves. The sweetness part is the item that gets my love. That is a problem I have with a lot of aloe drinks is that they are too sweet. Good, but too sweet. This solves that problem in a delicious, chunky way.

I can feel my skin tightening and toughening up as I drink this. Every sip is one more day I don't have to wear sunscreen, a safari hat, and pants in the summer to protect me from that jerk sun. I appreciate all that you do what with annually burning my lawn and killing my flowers with your relentless rays, but sometimes you can be a real turd. Just tone it down a little bit. Go hide behind the clouds and read a nudie mag or something so we can stop fertilizing and melting.

Fall is here and so is cider. I love apple cider! It's 1000 times better than normal/boring apple juice. If you disagree then I'm sorry, but we can't be friends. Cider in the Pacific Northwest (at least in Portland) isn't as common as it is in Western New York. This is sad, but don't worry I'm surviving.

Leave it to Columbia Gorge to come up with this beautiful bottle of deliciousness. What are even better are the ingredients: Apples, Ginger Juice. That's it! Two ingredients!! And it's organic on top of it.

The best part is that it tastes EXACTLY how I imagined it was going to. It's a really nice clean and crisp apple cider, with a great ginger burn in the after taste. It doesn't seem that strong at first, but once it hit my stomach, it was strong. Personally I would have love to have had more ginger in this so it was really intense, but I understand they are trying to please everyone and I'm sure most people don't have the ginger tolerance that me and the other Thirsty Dudes have. I hope more companies follow their lead and make cider with ginger in it.