One of Mike's boss' once proposed the idea of him doing a Thirsty Dudes spin off based on hot sauce. You know to join the great spin offs such as Joanie Love Chachi, The Ropers, Just the Ten of Us, A Different World, Empty Nest, Daria, and to bring it back to the beginning: Laverne and Shirley. Knowing how Mike stores his drinks all over the floor at work I can only assume Kevin would store his hot sauce the same way. One would think that there would be no way that the two would ever be confused, that is until this bottle of Organic Thinkers Sorrel Root drink would enter the mix. At that point either Kevin is going to get a floral, herbal splash on his hot dogs or Mike is going to get a mouthful of some crazy hot sauce. I really hope it would be Mike's mistake, but only if it was videotaped. Something like that is just too funny to not be immortalized in a digital format. Lucky for one of them that “Hot Sauce Dudes” or whatever it was going to be called never got off the ground, because seriously this bottle looks exactly like it should contain liquid fire.

This bottle expressly says there is no alcohol added. If it didn't have that statement there is no way in hell I would have tried this as it smells like some sort of cocktail a grandfather would drink. I took the world's tiniest sip, and I think there is no alcohol added because the drink itself is alcoholic. Actually it wasn't even a sip I dabbed some on my finger and tasted it. Good-bye edge. This has to be alcohol. It smells like it, it has a slight burn (that could be from the ginger, and it tastes what I remember vodka or something like that tasting like, but with added sweetness. A drop on my finger is all I'm going to try and it was no good in my book. I'm sure it's great for you health wise, but it's not a flavor I can get down with at all, especially if it really does contain a substantial amount of alcohol from fermentation. Seriously I would rather take a shot of hot sauce than dump this on my food any day.

Mike gave me this can of sarsaparilla, and I thought it was the same as the one I had reviewed early on in the history of the site. The can looks pretty much identical, except it's orange instead of red. I can't read the writing so I don't know if there are any subtle differences. I had intended to just sit back and relax with this nice fizzy drink, but when I tried it, it tasted a lot different than I remember. The first can I had tasted very woodsy, with a generic root beer undertone. This one has a light bubblegum flavor with a healthy heaping of licorice root mixed in. It's a weird combo. Some sips I think it's okay and then others I absolutely love it. It's definitely a unique flavor that is worth checking out.

Now the only questions are, “Is this the same stuff as I had before? Am I crazy to think it tastes so wildly different?

“…€¦that brings in the whole category of countries. Where to start? Well, the obvious one. The birthplace of spaghetti and pasta, all the oily stuff... Italy.” Very smooth Coop, but you forgot one thing; Italy also produces one hell of a peach ice tea under the Paradiso company. I don't know if this would really pair well with pasta, but it would certainly be great to be sipping on a bottle of this while strolling through some Italian city or another, just taking it all in.
It says that it's made with tea flavor, but it does taste more like real tea than any other “tea flavor” teas I've tried. The really star of this drink is the peach though. It has both peach juice and peach flavor in it. That means that while you're drinking it your mouth is filled with the flavor of real peaches. Then when you swallow you get a hint of peach gummy candy. It's be best of both worlds (even though the gummy candy flavor is only faint). The peach flavor is strong. I would prefer a little more tea in the ratio, but I'll take what I can get. Now if you'll excuse me I told Coop I would help him clean up some goat turds. How did I get suckered into this?

Organic energy. What better way to do it, right? Anyone who drinks Red Bull or any of those types of energy drinks has to know that it's not at all healthy for them. You know that, right? Nothing that pungent and cringe-worthy can be natural. This is and because of it, it's a heck of a lot tamer. Perhaps less effective than the rocket fuel you are used to drinking, this is actually drinkable. It's a little bitter from the green tea and the coffee bean but it's actually considered a sparkling fruit drink. I can't actually taste anything in particular but here's the fruit roll call: lemon, pomegranate, and elderberry.

If you are sick of what extreme sports is telling you to drink and want to calm down and be a functioning adult for once in your life, drink this. You might not go back to "the other guys" unless we're talking about that Will Ferrel and Mark Wahlberg vehicle because I would love to watch that movie again.

When I was pulling this out of the cooler at a random gas station in Utah or Oregon (I forget), a lady asked me if I've ever had it before. I replied with "no" but in my head I was laughing because I get that question daily from friends. Whether it's in person, on Facebook, or over text message, friends are always asking me "Have you tried this drink? Is it good?" I almost wanted to tell her how funny her question was to me given that I scoured the cooler for this bottle (and the diet version) and that was the ONLY drink there we haven't reviewed on this site.

I labeled this as a cola because when I bought it that's what I thought it was. It wasn't until I took a sip of it did I realize that it's a Dr. Pepper clone. I suppose the name should have clued me in on that. For a Dr. Pepper clone, it's descent but I've had better. It definitely didn't make my "taste buds flip" as the tagline suggested. Maybe they would have if it was sweetened with sugar and differentiated itself from Dr. Pepper a little more.

Did you know that Beavis and Butthead was set in Texas? I had no idea until I just read that online. Did they ever come out and say that in the show, or is it something that Mike Judge just proclaimed? Either way I bet living down in the south like that must be a real bummer for them. Sure it can be rainy and kind of cold, but it's the good kind of cold, and autumn in the northeast is the best smelling time of year. On top of that I bet those troubled boys have never had apple cider in their life, well at least not anything decent.

A nice glass of cider is really the heart of the season if you ask an expert like myself. Dr. B's understands this and wanted to make a drink that the entire world could enjoy, even if they were thousands of miles away from a cider mill. At first sip this just tastes like watered down cider, or more specifically what a Cider flavored Vitamin Water would taste like. The more you drink the more the subtlety of the tea comes out. This is in fact a tea that is flavored with spiced apple juice. So it's not watered down at all. It's just not overly flavored, which is a different thing all together. If you don't go into this expecting a full-bodied cider then you won't have any disappointments. It is what it claims to be and it does it well. I wish I could try this without any sweetener added. The taste of the Xylitol is faint, and does not interfere with the flavor much, but I've grown to love completely unsweetened drinks lately.

A few years ago I stayed with a friend in Florida. Early in the morning he woke up, walked into the back yard and plucked some oranges from a tree. HE then juiced them so that my traveling companions and myself would have some fresh squeezed orange juice when we woke up. It was the freshest juice one could drink, and it was more than likely the best orange juice I have ever tasted.

Unfortunately this is as far as you can get from that juice and still legally call it orange juice. The label claims it's 100% orange juice (from concentrate), but it tastes like the wrong part of the orange. It's watered down and it tastes like the oranges weren't ripe yet when they were juiced.

Stick to what you know Welch's: all things grape.

Mike hates FRS. I think it's probably in his top five most hated drinks. Up until now the only flavor I had tried was the orange protein one. It wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. It's a functional drink and those generally have issues. I gave it the benefit of the doubt. Mike thought maybe he was mistaken about the company, so he tried another one and absolutely hated it yet again. I still did not think this could be all that terrible, so today I cracked this open before I went to the gym. The first sip was decent enough. It had a nice berry flavor that I couldn't argue with. The problem started when I kept drinking it. Some flavor I had never tasted before kept getting stronger and grosser. I can only imagine that it was the quercetin. I hope I never have to taste that again. I was able to drink the whole bottle, but by the third sip I was not enjoying it at all. Actually I just looked it up and quercetin is found in tea, so I'm sure I will be having it again. It must be something else in here. It smells like the milk that a wheat heavy cereal had soaked in. Now that I realize that I feel like it kind of tastes like overly sweetened wheat, which is really gross. This will not enter my body again.

There was a period of about five years where I wouldn't step foot in a Wendy's. I got food poisoning from a taco salad and hallucinated. My friend called me and I told him that I couldn't leave my bed and that I was "trippin' balls." I'll never forget. Cut to many years later and we've made amends. I'm not one to hold a grudge so it was only a matter of time before we got back together.

Now that we're friends again, I try their new stuff when it comes out; for me and for you. I don't know how new this is but I don't remember seeing it before so I got it. I never know what to expect with coffee because I don't know what ratio of coffee to other will be. In this case, I'm saying it's 2:1. I don't drink coffee but I have drunk enough coffee drinks to feel like I know what the scale of coffee is. This is an average coffee with enough mocha in there to distract you from it. Together it works but I think on it's own it couldn't hack it. A fast food coffee connoisseur could tell me for sure but I feel pretty confident in saying that. It was not too sweet and didn't taste like someone just threw some chocolate syrup and sugar in an old cup of coffee so that's a plus. Like I said, together they work well together. Aside, it would be like Chris Lowe without Neil Tennant. It just wouldn't work. Neil, I'm sorry, but you should know that "Please" is one of the top five pop records of all time. I don't know if Neil could do it without you. You are a team. Please stay that way forever.

Superfruit. How can you lose? It's vague, but who cares. Superman is vague but you get the point. He's better than a regular man. Wonder Woman? Sure, the naming convention is not there but you get it. Jay loves comic books and when he reads this, he will think one of two things. One: why is Mike once again talking about things he knows nothing about? Two: Mike's talking about comic books and he is awesome.

So as much as I would like to believe that somewhere on the Earth there is one fruit called a "Superfruit" that not only has a killer name but it also trumps all other fruits in things like flavor, sweetness, and that strange antioxidant chart. This drink, I've got to say was good but this so-called "Superfruit" got pushed around a little like a fit, muscular dude at comic book convention. No respect. This drink tastes good; very fruity and reminiscent of berries. It's nice. Now here's where the "if" or "but" comes in. If you don't like natural, low calories sweeteners like Stevia, this drink will lose points because as "super" as this drink is, it's being pushed aside by then. Those dweebs. Since I don't hate them and have begun to like and appreciate the taste, I actually thought this drink was pretty good.

Superfruit? Sure, you can call it whatever you'd like. Without any photographic proof, I can't really believe you. It's the scientist in me. Ask Jay and he'll tell you the same thing. Then ask Jay about his love for cats and Michael Stipe. Go ahead. I dare you.

So…€¦I knew I had a Martinelli's lemonade in my fridge. Earlier I grabbed a drink quick whilst I was working, and since it was a nice day out and my shop was sweltering hot I decided that lemonade would hit the spot. When I grabbed it I saw that it was blood orange flavored, but in my head that meant that it was blood orange flavored lemonade, not just blood orange juice. I drank most of it and saved a couple of sips for when I wrote the review, aka now. The entire time I was drinking this earlier the idea of it not being flavored lemonade never crossed my mind. It wasn't until I was just checking the sweetener on the ingredient list that I saw that there was no lemon in it at all. I then checked the rest of the packaging and realized that it was just juice, not lemonade.

Now sure orange juice can be bitter, but when it has 31g of sugar in it, it generally isn't. This on the other hand has the sugar and the juice and it is sour like lemonade. Knowing that is not what it is supposed to be is a bit of a let down. It would be a decent orange lemonade, but as a blood orange juice it leaves something to be desired. Generally blood orange has a very strong flavor, and this is a bit weak and watered down. I guess it is only 11% juice. I'm just going to go back to pretending it's a time when I thought that it was flavored lemonade and I was really enjoying it.

After high school all of Stan's friends went to college to become teachers and businessmen. He knew from an early age that he would not follow the same path. He wasn't dumb or anything. He actually got high marks in school, but he just had no interest in higher education. As soon as he got his diploma at the end of his senior year he enrolled in clown school. Clowning seemed like a dream come true. His classes failed to hold his attention though, and after a semester he dropped out. He then spent a few months just hanging out, working at his uncle's shop. Then one afternoon he was on break flipping through the local arts paper and he saw an ad that would change his life forever. He had been close with clown college, but he now knew that his true calling was to be a magician. He emptied his bank account and took a three week crash course in magicianery. It was there that his instructor gave his the stage name of Zevia the Magnificent, a title that the whole world would soon know.

While he loved being a magician, he really wasn't very good at it. His rabbit would always end up in an audience members purse instead of his hat, and he could never keep a firm grasp on those darn rings, what did they polish them with anyways, lard? One trick that he did master was to hypnotize people into thinking that diet pop tasted good. His secret was that he would make his own soda and sweeten it with a natural zero calorie sweetener caller stevia. This was in the late 90's when everyone was trying to keep the pounds off with aspartame and sucralose. They never knew what hit them. One flavor that he worked hard on was a diet ginger ale. Even though there weren't many diet ginger ales on the market, and people weren't familiar with it, he still thought it was integral to his act. It didn't really taste like the other ginger ales he had drank in the past. It was more like slightly sweet seltzer water with a slight ginger taste to it. He prided himself on using real ginger, but not enough to have any sort of heat to it. It was a completely non-offensive soda that he drank all the time, and why not when it had no sugar and no calories. Sure it could have used a bit more flavor, but who was going to argue with it' healthiness compared to the leading brands?

It was during the portion of his act when he was convincing people that diet soda could taste good when his infamy began. The prime minister of China was in the audience that evening for some unknown reason. Zevia's helper monkey became irate and flung his dung at the prime minister before shaking up a can of soda and spraying it in the foreign dignitaries face. As you well know that was the catalyst for World War 3. Zevia the Magnificent, and his monkey, were later tried for war crimes, and we all know the outcome of that.

Going into this I knew this was going to be bad. Any energy drink found at Big Lots (where drinks go to die) named "Max Velocity" is not good. On top of it, there's no flavor on this. What flavor is "Uncaged"? At least there's a grainy photo of a cheetah on the can.

Yup I was right, it's like a Red Bull/ Mountain Dew mix. So gross. It burns the throat as it goes down.

Key Lime soda is my favorite thing to stumble upon. It's not that popular/common so it doesn't happen too often. When it does though, my face lights up (or I assume it does). I stumbled upon this bottle in a Big Lots in Salt Lake City and couldn't believe my eyes. Two of my favorite sodas, key lime and cream soda, combined!

First off, I wish this wasn't sweetened with high fructose corn syrup. It's very noticeable and makes the soda much heavier than it should be. I think this is the reason why the key lime taste isn't has strong as it could be. The cream soda part is great, and in combination with the key lime it's one of the best flavored cream soda's I've had.

Damn you HFCS for making a delicious soda not as good!

Today, for National Frappe Day, I voluntarily bought this Frappuccino. I made a wise decision with this flavor. Nothing compliments a brisket taco like a salted, caramel, mocha, coffee drink. What a monumental day, a new drink for me, and a new taco offered by a place that I frequent frequently. I had to celebrate this "almost" holiday in style and getting this guy made it.

The mix between all these flavors is just awesome. The salt makes it a little more "adult." Kids just don't understand that salted sweets can be a wonderful thing. This past weekend I bought chocolate covered pretzel sticks. Salt and sweet: a great thing. The salt is always there but it's an undertone to the frontrunners that are mocha (coffee and chocolate) and caramel.

Now I watched the dude make this drink with complete apathy but process and procedure is process and procedure and because of these rules and guidelines, he added actual sea salt. Gritty, delicious, ideal sea salt. No cheap, garbage, table salt. Actual sea salt. I would have had no problem with a little bit of salty crunch in my drink but I completely understand why Starbucks doesn't think that everyone doesn't have the worldly palate like us three Thirsty Dudes.

Starbucks and to a lesser extent, McDonalds and Burger King; I wish you a happy National Frappe Day. We at Thirsty Dudes honored this day in the rightful and just way.

It looks like Blink worked out most of the kinks with this flavor. They put together a flavor (blueberries and pomegranate) that does a decent job of masking most of the taste of the added caffeine. Where the lemon-lime and peach flavors were more gross caffeine flavor than the actual flavor that the drink was supposed to be, this is way more fruity. The sucralose taste isn't even all that strong, which is a rarity with drinks that use that sweetener.

It didn't take much effort to drink this. Unfortunately I can't say the same about the other flavors I have tried of this line. I suppose it's nice to have an alternative energy drink other than you're run of the mill candy flavored soda versions and coffee. I know there has to be some people out there who would enjoy and appreciate this. I just don't happen to be one of them.

Global warming is running rampant. You don't believe me? Well then perhaps you should look at the shifting weather patterns and talk to your local displaced penguin. As a result of it glaciers are melting left and right and scientists have headed north on a mission to find all sorts of things left in their soggy wake. Some of the greatest rewards discovered during “Operation: Encino Man” have been bottles of Kuang Chuan green tea. I mean the government is keeping the whole thing hush hush, but that is the only explanation I can think of as to why this would be called “frozen green tea.” It tastes just like a decent quality unsweetened green tea. There is nothing out of the ordinary about it, but you now what? It doesn't need anything new or different. This is a classic taste that is perfect the way it is. Drinking it right out of the fridge is like pulling it straight from the semi-solid melting ice of the glacier. It's cool, refreshing and just a bit bitter. Who could ask for anything else from a green tea?

A little bite and a genuine ginger taste: this is the model right here, ladies and gentlemen. If this had been labeled a "ginger beer" I would have been upset that there wasn't enough bite. I have had ginger beers that taste like this, which is disappointing. This little guy packs a punch for a ginger ale. One word ruins a drink. Let it be known. It's all about expectations. I drank the Jamaican Ginger Ale and now I don't remember if there was a difference between the two.

This was probably one of the best ginger ales I have ever had. That's a thing to be said. Now, when people say to me, "Mike, you look great today. What is the best ginger ale you've ever had? I'm nauseous from being on this giant yacht of yours with real gold lions scattered throughout." I will say, "It happens, man. When you go out on a gigantic yacht that you can call your own you get used to it. One of my favorite ginger ales that you can get most places is Blue Sky ginger ale. Also, did you know that those giant gold lions have candy in their mouth? Reach on in and get a Fun Size Kit Kat. Don't puke on my boat."

When I saw this alongside Silk Nog my heart jumped because it's my favorite time of year. While many of my friends protested that it's "too soon" for eggnog, I disagree. It's never too soon and I wish it were offered year round.

While this is no nog, it's a seasonal drink so I couldn't pass it up. This is the friend your best friend brings along with them. You'd rather just hang out with the person you know and love, but you'll give this other friend a shot.

While this may be my first chocolate mint soymilk, it will not be my last. This stuff is really delicious! It's a very smooth chocolate with a nice crisp mint that isn't overpowering. While my love for eggnog has not be surpassed, this wonderful soymilk has earned its spot next to it in the fridge.

You know how mob guys always have names like “Fat Tony” and are always overweight from living a life of excess, or so television and movies always tell us? Well some of the higher ups in the “family” got together and started a drink company a few years back. They decided to call it Made, because they thought they were clever. Okay I'll give it to them, that's a good name. Well after a bunch of people starting having heart attacks from each a case of cannolis a day they decided to make a low calorie version, to help prolong the lives near and dear to them so that they may continue of causing “boaking accidents.”

As I said these guys were used to a certain standard of living, and just any diet drink wasn't going to cut it. They needed to make it just right so that the family would enjoy it and want to drink it. The only way they could make this work was to use real juice in their beverages, even if it was from concentrate. Artificial flavor has no place in the mob. They also decided erythritol was the sweetener to go with, as to avoid the stereotypical chemical diet taste. The result was a blueberry green tea that hardly tasted diet at all. There was so much flavor from the juice that it covered up any hint of the erythritol. They added pomegranate juice as well for added antioxidants, but it doesn't show up much in the flavor. It is blueberry through and through.

You know what this drink would go great with? Soft pretzels. It's a good thing that the mob is involved with a vender.

“I'm afraid I must insist. You see, my wife, she has been most vocal on the subject of the pretzel monies. …€˜Where's the money?' …€˜When are you going to get the money?' …€˜Why aren't you getting the money now?' And so on.”