Yesterday's limeade is today's lemonade. To be different, you've got to go and sweeten with strange stuff, like agave, or that's what you like to let people think. See here's the thing. This is a strange drink that is full of lies. Agave is a natural sweetener. Going through the ingredients, you will notice that there is no agave in it. Oh, there's "natural flavor" but come on. What does that even mean. That's a copout. It would be like making a drink that is genuinely "all natural" and then for ingredients just putting down "natural flavors, natural sweeteners, natural preservatives" What a joke.

Lies aside, this is alright. It's lemonade and it tastes like lemonade but you miss out on a lot of the things that you love about lemonade. Pulp? I love pulp and it's gone. This lemonade would be like strained lemonade that's a little thicker. Not a bad thicker but noticeably thicker. There is yerba mate in there but it doesn't have the bitterness that comes with it. Don't really know why it's there.

There are a lot of questions that I don't care if they get answered or not. I don't care where the agave is. I don't care where the pulp is. I'm completely apathetic. I don't care. It's good enough. It's above honorable mention but below a medal. Right smack dab in the middle.

It's Groundhog Day. You've run into Ned Ryerson more times than you can even remember. The same goes for that ungrateful brat who keeps falling out of the tree. The perpetual winter has got you down, so very down. You've learned piano like a pro. You've creepily stalked the girl you like to find out every last detail about her, in order to finally win her over. You've done everything you could think of, but you're still in a rut. You blame the constant grey skies that plague your eternal life. To try to combat this you start taking vitamins and working out. It actually works. You start to feel better about yourself and life in general. You're beginning to have a more positive out look because you're no longer a lazy slob. It feels great to be in good shape. The only problem is that you get so darn thirsty when you work out and the water in this town just doesn't cut it. You read that coconut water is good for replenishing electrolytes. The local health store only carries one brand and one flavor. Oddly enough it's called O.N.E. The flavor that you are stuck forever is grape berry. At first you don't really like it. It has a strange harshness to it that is not quite the same harshness as grape juice. The more you drink the more you become accustomed to it. You realize that it tastes like watered down grape juice with a tinge of berry thrown in. It shouldn't be good at all, but it is and it's refreshing. After a couple of sips you no longer even notice the flavor of the coconut water. All you taste is watered down grape juice with a slight stevia aftertaste. It's not great, but it will do the job. It's too bad that you'll never be able to get the shop to order other flavors for you because the day of their arrival will never come.

If you would like one of the greatest comedic movies of our time to be turned into a tragedy for you read this article. The folks at What Culture use science to determine that Bill Murray's character was stuck in the same day for 33 years and 358 days. As we learn in the movie he has tried to kill himself several times. Who could blame him?

When Mike handed me this drink all I could think about was Duck Tales. Remember the mini series where they go in search of the Seven Cities of Gold? I'm pretty sure it was El Dorado that they were looking for. Man, I loved those episodes. They had the bad guy who was wheezy all the time. It was great. I feel like they used to rerun those episodes all the time. Also, remember that time they went to search for a lost relic, and it ended up actually being relish and Scrooge had just misheard it. Now that is the comedic gold of El Dorado.

This drink may not have that kind of gold in it, but it's decent. It has a light non-citrus tropical flavor to it. I wouldn't place it as either guava or passionfruit though. It's almost flowery tasting, but not quite. I do enjoy it. I just would have given it a different name. It also contains no fruit juice, and has taurine in it for some reason. It doesn't say anything about it being an energy drink, so that is a bit odd.

I wonder if Duck Tales is streaming on Netflix. Nope. They have the first three seasons available on DVD though. I may have to get those.

Anyone can drink lemonade. Lemonade is old school. You drank it. Your mom drank it. Her mom drank it. Her mom drank it. That's four generations of the same thing. What about limes, dude? They're there, too. Sprite uses them so why can't anyone else? Sure, they're more bitter, less sweet, and aren't used as much, but that last thing is the reason why they should be. Be a little different. "Oh lemonade?" you say, "No thank you. I only drink limeade." Bam. You've got an instant cult following. "Limeade?! What's that?" they will all ask as you take a sip of this off-green drink, trying not to show your quivering cheeks as they begin to feel the punishment of the powerful limes within this drink.

You are now on top of the pack. Alpha. Pinnacle. Apex. You have discovered limes and have used them for good rather than just a garnish. This Calypso drink you have fallen in love with is simply described as lemonade with limes instead of lemons. It tastes like limes, looks like limeonade would, isn't called "limeonade", and is called "limeade." Congratulations friend, you have arrived.

You know James, the one who traveled the ocean in a giant peach? We all know that upon his arrival to NYC children devoured his magically fruit, much like the rhino devoured his parents. What isn't very well known is that founder of the Tazo company, Bill Tazo, brought in a bunch of tankers and filled them with peach residue. Bill then used that goop to create one of the world's most perfect peach teas. He mixed the peach with green tea, apple juice and the smallest amount of ginger juice. Bill was a visionary. He knew the peach itself would be too strong and everyone's taste buds would be blown. You don't want your customer's taste buds to be blown. If they were why would they buy his products. He balanced out the strength of the peach with the apple juice, and added the ginger to attract the taste buds attention in a slightly different direction. His basic training as a magician finally proved to be useful. It's classic misdirection and it works perfectly. Pouring gallons of this tea down your throat still wouldn't be enough.

Shoppers played a show in Buffalo last night and I was so excited when I saw this lavender soda in Derek's cupboard. Watch the video to see what I thought of it.

Plums = Prunes. Like the Alamo, never forget. Also never forget that in the East, their prunes are smoked or something because everything plum/prune flavored tastes like you are eating their Western equivalent at a bonfire. Smokes. It's like chipotle fruit. Now allow me to read the ingredients to this drink because it should be the best drink I've ever had:
Water. Sugar. Hawthorn berry. Plum. Hibiscus flower. Licorice.

Could this drink sound any better? I mean, I don't know what hawthorn berry tastes like, but it's a berry. I get it. The plum/prune, I can say with most certainty, ruined this drink. I cannot taste anything but that. I love hibiscus drinks and love licorice and those are non-existent and that blows. It smells and to a lesser extent tastes like fruity beef jerky. Man. Editor Dan, the bequeather of this drink, was right. It sucks and should be better. If I could dissect this drink, I would do it in a heartbeat. Take all the plum/prune DNA out of it, add some water to put it back together, drink it again and love it.

Drats. This sucked.

Wow, this drink has one of the strongest scents I've ever experienced in a beverage. It smells like two people were making a fruit salad and they sliced into a mango and mandarin orange simultaneously. It's quite a smell to be smelled. I wish the taste were as strong and specific as the smell. There is little if any coconut water flavor in this. The only trace of it is in the aftertaste. The mango and mandarin flavors blend together into a new tropical citrus fruit. If I drank this blind I don't know if I would guess either of those fruits were in it, but knowing they are I can spot them. I like this a lot. If you're into Vitamin Water, but would like to mix things up a bit this would be the drink to do it with. It's evolution baby!

It's been a long time since I've had an aloe drink. It's not that I have been avoiding them. I just haven't been able to find any that we haven't already reviewed. With a cupboard full of drinks to review, it's kind of hard to justify buying a drink for pleasure. Needless to say, I was excited when I found this bottle at a local Asian market.

First thing, there are barely any chunks of aloe in this. That is my favorite part of aloe drinks so this is already off to a bad start. You know how honey makes some root beers really good? Well it ruins this drink. Even though it's one of the last ingredients on the list, it somehow manages to ruin the delicious taste of pomegranate in this.

If I were to protest outside of the Jayone factory, my sign would say, "Less honey, more chunks!"

Mark, I quit. I thought this was going to be a dream job for me, but everything went wrong. Dealing with soda day in and out is what fills my mind grapes as I sleep. You know how people count sheep to help them fall asleep? Well, I count soda bottles. I know it sounds insane, but it's my passion. The thing is I can't have my work be a lie. When I submitted my resume to Best Health I believed this company believed in the betterment of the state of our fellow man's health. I suppose it's my fault that I didn't do more research on the company, but I really thought that what we made here was going to be carbonated fruit juice with no sweetener added. That is what I think of when I think of healthy soda. That's not what we make here at all though. What we produce and peddle is flavored sugar water with some bubbles in it. Actually the bubbles aren't a part of the problem at all. They are actually pretty great. The problem is that this soda isn't even close to healthy. Sure it's better for people that corn syrup sweetened soda, but what isn't? On top of that our flavors aren't even that grape. I'm really only basing this statement off of our raspberry flavor. When it's in your mouth it is just sugar soda. There is only the smallest tinge of fruit flavor. When you swallow it does have a generic berry aftertaste, but that's not what a good soda is. Mark, I really think this company needs a complete overhaul, and unless that begins now I'm walking out that door and never looking back.

Sir I assure you that no matter what number you write down it's not going to change my mind. Fine write it down and then I'm out that door. Oh wow! A quarter raise?! If you need me I'll be down in the bottling area. We can't afford to miss a single shipment!

More! I need more! Look, here's the problem. I only have a limited amount of juice box containers but I have a truckload of fruit. So, what I'm going to need you to do is put as much fruit in each juice box as possible because, and this may sound strange, I hate fruit. If there is one extra orange, I won't eat it. I will throw it in the garbage. Do you know what I hate more than fruit? Wasting fruit. Fruit is money. Time is money. Money is money. So what have you got for me, Sam?

Well boss, I've got this. I cannot fit any more juice and I feel there is a fair representation of all the fruits in there. Ready for the breakdown? Here goes. In each box, we've got half an orange, two-thirds of a banana, half an apple, half a mango, and an eighth of a pineapple. You didn't buy any grapes but I don't know if we could even fit grapes in here. Somehow we managed to make it taste like mango and orange exclusively even though there are so many other fruits in there. It's technically a smoothie, but it's not terribly thick and nicely sweet due to the apple probably. Do you want a taste?

Sam, let me ask you a question; do you want me to throw up on your already dirty Reeboks? I didn't think so. I trust you with this one so box 'em and ship 'em. We're ready for phase two; profit!

Grapes? Buddy. Friend. Grapes? What did I ask you to make for us? What did I ask you to make for Sandora? Pomegranate juice. That's right. What did you give me? Pomegranate-grape juice. Oh, it's good, but it's not what I asked for. I understand that pomegranates are expensive. I understand that pomegranate arils are not easy to get out. I understand it's a messy job. I don't care. Money was put aside and the money we are charging for this juice should have covered the production costs.

Now look. I understand that you didn't want the company to go under and for that I say "thank you," but if I asked for a blend, I would have asked you for a blend. I love grapes. I love red grapes and I love green grapes. Together would make a tremendous juice that I would love to drink with my toast and eggs in the morning. Honestly, buddy, the drink you have created is excellent, too. It's clearly got pomegranate juice in it. It tastes like pomegranates and is tart like a pomegranate should be, but then there are the cut corners you like to call "money saving." I can taste the grape juice in here. I like it. I will continue to sell it, but I want you to know that we can no longer sell the pomegranate juice that I wanted because we are making the "pomegranate" juice you thought I wanted.

You are not fired, but I am going to have to be very descriptive when it comes to the next juice I want. Next time, only put in the fruits that I ask for. If I ask for a grapefruit juice, I had better not see pears or apples in the same room or you will be fired. That is all. Good day to you. We appreciate your hard work and dedication to Sandora.

What else is there to say about Mamma Chia drinks that we haven't said before? They are certainly unique. They are also very tasty. They start with a wonderful tasting juice (cranberry and lemonade in this case) and then fill the bottle with the insanity that is chia seeds. The hard seeds are coated in a slimy substance that helps them go down very smooth. They are slimy, but not in a gross way. It adds more of a thickness to the consistency of the drink. It makes drinking fun. And there are health benefits to it.

The flavor of this is strong, but not overbearing. It tastes like mild lemonade with a mild cranberry flavoring. I say mild only because it's neither tart nor bitter like both of the fruits are in their normal form. There is nothing mild about the taste.

I turned 30 one hour ago. Most people fear turning 30, but I have actually been excited for it. It's probably because I have a lot of friends who are over 30 (including our very own Jason Draper) and they are still awesome.

I decided to break out a fancy soda for my first soda of my 30's. I've been waiting to try this one for a while, and it was well worth the wait. The blackberry is the first taste that hits your tongue, and it tastes like the juice that sits in your mouth after you just ate you're 20th blackberry in a row. A tangy pomegranate comes next, but it doesn't stick around long.

The only disappointing thing about this is the ginger, or should I say lack of ginger. It's what I was most excited about and it's barely there. I wanted it to have a deep burn in the aftertaste, but it's so subtle it's barely there. It's still a great soda. I just wish the ginger had more kick to it.

Old-fashioned taste means different things to different people. There is a place around here that is legendary for "old fashioned" subs. I could go for one of those subs every day and as the years progress they only get better. New bread, new sauces, new ingredients, but at the heart, they are fantastic subs made fresh right before your eyes. I honestly believe that eighty years ago these subs would have tasted the same as they do today. I would do an awful lot to go back in time and try that theory out. I would order a turkey sub and have it with a Bennett's lemon cola and test the "old fashioned" waters. I'd sit down with my inevitable fancy pants, hat, shoes, and pocket watch and eat a sub and drink a pop.

You know what I would say? I would say that this sub is delicious and this pop leaves much to the imagination. It's kind of thick and the cola and lemon are a bit...abrasive. I would also wager a guess to say that in "old fashioned" times, they didn't use artificial sweeteners. Between this and a lemon Pepsi, I would take a Pepsi, but since I'm in old times, I'd have a soda jerk whip me up a genuine vanilla Coke.

Although this would never happen and I will always and forever be stuck in present day like a dumb dummy, I can imagine and know that things haven't changed for subs but have changed for Bennett's.

The zero calorie Cascade Ice drinks are basically just flavored seltzer water. The 2-calorie version on the other hand is lightly sweetened with sucralose. It's not enough for it to taste overly diet. Actually, this is the least diet tasting diet drink I have ever tasted. It actually is made with pink grapefruit juice concentrate, which gives it an authentic grapefruit taste. The artificial sweetener makes sure that it's not overly bitter like straight grapefruit juice would be. This also has an incredibly strong grapefruit scent to it. I enjoyed this way more than anyone would have expected.

Jason was ecstatic. It was nearly February and he had yet to get sick this winter. For years the cold weather was basically a death sentence for any sort of social life. Every year like clockwork the cold and dry weather would creep into his world and he would never want to leave his house. For some unknown reason lesions used to form all over the inside of his throat. The doctors had no idea what was wrong with him. It was misdiagnosed as mono and tonsillitis. They would prescribe him antibiotics and in a week or so the lesions were gone. The thing is they would return again before the end of winter. Not having health insurance sure put a hinder on his recovery and wallet. Then one doctor recommended sleeping with a humidifier on. Three years passed with only one throat outbreak, but a normal sickness was ever present. He learned to deal with it and tried his best to live a normal life. This year was different though. He hadn't felt sick at all. He was so happy that he announced it one day with pride. As always when someone does something stupid like announce their health to a room of people, Jason woke up the next morning with a strange feeling in his throat/head. It wasn't a full-blown cold but something was definitely brewing.

Jason went to the store to purchase some juice to make sure his sickness didn't progress. Orange juice with extra pulp was always a standby, but to keep his streak going strong Jason was going to need something stronger. He went to the “fancy” juice aisle, where bottles cost upwards of $10. Perusing the shelves it was a no-brainer as soon as he saw this. It felt like he had found the Holy Grail of health. With a combination of ginger and Echinacea it was virtually unstoppable in the war against winter sickness. The base of this juice is basically honey-sweetened lemonade. Added to that is a vague Echinacea flavor. There is only a hint of it present. It is all rounded out with a nice ginger burn. It's not overpowering like some ginger beers, but it's there enough to let you know that it is prepared to go to war with any virus' in your system. Over the day Jason downed the entire bottle and by the next morning he felt perfectly fine. Jason :1. Sickness: 0.

When I saw the Cooper's Cave sodas in the store I bought every flavor they had. They are a quasi-local company (about 4 hours away) and the labels looked great. Seriously, look at the design on any one of their flavors. They all have a cool comic book look to them. Remember what your mother said; “Don't judge a book by its cover.” This is one of those times when that nugget of wisdom works in the opposite way of what she meant. I guess “All that glitters is not gold” is another way of putting it.

This is one bland birch beer. An average amount of birch beer flavor hits you as soon as you take a swig, and just as quick it's gone. It tricks you in much the same way that diet pop does. You're greeted with a nice flavor that quickly dissipates, but instead of the gross sting of sucralose you're left with nothing. It's strange, it's sad and it leaves me wanting more flavor.

Calling something "clearly" anything, I feel, is a bit insulting. It's like using the word "obviously" as if to say, "You dumb dummy. It's obviously a 1981 MGB." I know, I know. It's called "clearly" because it's clear, but still...a titch too much for my liking. Speaking of "my liking" I liked this a handful more than the previous one I reviewed. This one still has a strange thickness to it, but it's totally drinkable and the grape flavor is pretty good. If I had a kid that didn't drink bottles who needed to be hydrated, I would let him have this.

We're half and half with this company and that's more than I can say for most companies so congratulations.

I went into this drink without knowing what to expect. I didn't think I had ever tried rhubarb before, so I wasn't sure what this would taste like. As soon as I took a sip I instantly remembered sitting in the kitchen of my grandparents farmhouse and taking a generous bite of a stalk after some urging by my grandmother. At the time I wasn't a big fan. I didn't think it was terrible, but it wasn't anything I needed to eat.

I now recognize a lighter, dryer version of that flavor in this drink, except now I'm an adult and my tastes are refined. I actually like it and it makes me wish it were summer so I could go cut down a stalk and gnaw on it. As I said the flavor of the rhubarb isn't very strong in this. The same can be said for the strawberry. Both flavors are obviously there, but they are mellow, like Ben Murphy in the film Riding With Death (the best episode of Mystery Science Theatre ever). This could have very easily had a “down on the farm” taste to it, but since they chose to sweeten it with agave it has a modern soda flair to it. Out of every sweetener (except zero calorie ones) agave has the most distinct taste to it, and I love it.