The thing I hate about Vitamin Water is my intake of stale vitamins. There's nothing worse than taking a nice big gulp of a cool refreshing beverage and getting a mouthful of old vitamin. This is apparently what Activate wants you to think. I don't know if it's even possible for vitamins to go stale, and it has never affected the taste of my Vitamin Water, but I do like the novelty of the Activate line.

These drinks come in two parts; a bottle of water that is sweetened with stevia and a cap full of powdered vitamins. You twist one part of the cap and the vitamins drop into the water, which you then shake up. The idea is that the vitamins are healthier because they are fresh. Aren't the vitamins the same age whether they already come in the water or not? I suppose it doesn't really matter, it's still fun.

This tastes like what a modern grandmother would have for breakfast. Every morning my grandmother would cut a grapefruit in half and dust it with sugar, then chow down with the tiniest knife and spoon I have ever seen. I think she may have stolen them from some tiny race of people in the forest, but I can't be sure. So yeah, I can only assume a more health conscious modern grandmother would dust her grapefruit with stevia. If you ate said grapefruit right after eating your chewable kids vitamins, then took a sip of water then you would know exactly what this drink tastes like. The flavor is light and faint. The stevia is there, but not overpowering. Just like it should be. Well played activate. Now I just need to see if your vitamins really are fresher and healthier, or if you're just a big stupid liar head.

Remember that scene in Better Off Dead where Booger, or whatever his name is in that movie, you know who I'm talking about, is on the top of the mountain, probably the K2 when he says that the snow is like cocaine and snorts it? For some reason that's what I think of when I have powder drinks.

This is such a step in the right direction I don't know where to start. Flavors roll call! Orange. Blackberry. Passion fruit. Bam. Delicious cubed. Also, you can taste the Reb-A a little bit but it's mostly real sugar, good sugar, and awesome fruit flavors. Low calories. This is such a win in my book and like I said, a step in the right direction. A low calorie drink using natural sweeteners with delicious fruit flavors that doesn't suck and doesn't taste like it's diet and all that other stuff. Great.

Are you aware that Mike and I are scientists? It's true. We got our science degrees years ago by doing experiments such as the famous "any headphones work with an iPod," "cats don't like taking baths" and who could forget "let's write 100 songs about BBQs." Now that you know are schooling, know that our degrees make us experts on pretty much everything. As you can see we have covered basically everything. It is with this authority that I would like to remind the world that Malta Goya is in the top 5 worst beverages ever created for consumption. The sheer filth of it made me believe that any beverage with the world with the word malt in the title would also be gross to a large extent.

Schweppes has changed my mind. Well the Schweppes that is located in Egypt that is. How crazy is it that I'm sitting here tipping back a can of soda that was made in Egypt? Here's to progress! Now back to the review. This is extremely surprisingly good. With each sip I like it more and more. It tastes like it's made with actual pineapple juice, when it's really made with "flavorings." I really think that using real juice would be the only way to make this better. It doesn't taste anything like I would expect malt to taste like. It tastes like neither a Malta Goya nor Malt Balls candy. Maybe it does ever so slightly taste like a light Malt Ball, but I think this is a completely different side of malt that I had never seen before. It's a side that I like. It's a side that I would want to go get food with and then hang out at a bar with on a Friday night. It's a side of malt that I wouldn't be ashamed to bring home to my mom. Malt, you've changed and if you can stay this way I think that I would like to spend the rest of my life with you.

While 80% of this bottle has a fairly terrible design, the bottom 20% is great. The little dude (who I assume is Hermes) chugging away on a mug of soda is classy all the way. So is the text on the bottom. After looking at it a little longer I'd like to change my stance. 80% terrible was a bit rough. The whole design is actually great minus on thing that ruins it all. The typeface used for the flavor of the soda is horrible. Childishly horrible and it's so big and distracting from an otherwise aesthetically pleasing label.

I've been a huge fan of cola for the past couple of months. I think I slightly burned myself out on ginger and root beer. Cola was waiting in the sidelines and the couch put him in as a started for few games. The thing about cola is that they all taste slightly different, but I never know how to describe the difference (well unless it's a fancy cola like Fentimans makes). This is smoother than your “classic” colas like Coke or Pepsi. It has a full flavor, but nothing about it really sticks out. I finished the bottle two minutes ago and I've already forgotten the subtle nuances of it. I guess that is a sign that while this cola is tasty in the moment, it is ultimately forgettable.

I've been fooled for the last time. First it was soursop, then white gourd and now it's green pumpkin. Let me tell you a secret I'm pretty sure they are all exactly the same thing. The sure as hell all taste exactly the same. It tastes like your drinking the milk leftover after eating a bowl of the strongest grain cereal you've ever tasted. I bet this is exactly what horse food tastes like. I had such high hopes for a pumpkin drink. You've beaten me again Taiwan.

When I showed someone a picture of this, they said, "My teeth hurt just looking at that". Rightfully so, this drink is ridiculously sweet. I have described many drinks as tasting like Jolly Ranchers so I was pretty excited to try this branded soda. Did they pull it off? Of course they did, it's their recipe! Despite the overloading sweet taste, I really like how tangy this is. I wasn't expecting it, but it almost has a sour aftertaste that's pretty awesome. Even though it's hard to drink this all in one sitting due to the sweetness, I'm looking forward to trying the other flavors now.

I always forget I love chai tea until I'm at a coffee shop and a friend offers me a sip of theirs. I never order it because I love coffee too much. I probably haven't had more than a sip of chai tea in over 10 years. This is the first iced chai tea I've ever had, and I really enjoy it. It's not as sweet as a coffee shop chai tea, but it has a lot of flavor while still being a light drink. I would drink this all the time if I could.

Hey Fred, can you pour me a root beer? You might want to put down that licorice first or else you might... drop it in the glass like you just did. No, it's ok. Luckily I like licorice, so this should be interesting. Wow, that gave it a really strong licorice/anise taste! I love it. It has a good bite too. You might be on to something with this Fred, what a happy accident.

I hope you really enjoy this week's date night. You know how we've been talking about making each date night theme oriented? Well I decided to put that into action. At first I thought about having it French night, but that just seemed too obvious. I thought and thought on it, and well…€¦. Welcome to Brazil honey!

To start things off we'll be going downtown to the east side in order to try and authentically recreate the atmosphere of the favelas of Rio De Janeiro. We may have to get a later start than usual to make sure it's already completely dark out for things to feel right. I mean what would a Brazilian date night be without getting harassed and potentially robbed at knifepoint?

I know what you're thinking, where are we going to get authentic Brazilian food here in Buffalo, NY? Don't you worry I found this guy who will let us come to his house and he will cook us up some nice feijoada. He said he has 12 roommates along with 23 cats and 14 dogs, but hey the more the merrier! Oh yes, feijoada is a stew of pork, sausage and smoked meat cooked with black beans and garlic, garnished with slices of orange. I know you don't eat meat, but I figured you could make an exception in order to make date night authentic.

After dinner, assuming that we haven't been mugged and stabbed with a makeshift knife, we will catch a nice game of soccer. It will be pretty late at that point, so I found a DVD of a game from about 10 years ago. The nice fellow who will be cooking for us said we could watch it in his room. Only four other people share the room, so it should be nice and cozy. He just said to make sure the DVD is the right region. I don't know what that means, but we'll figure it out.

Oh, oh I forgot to mention that I scored a bottle of the traditional Brazilian drink acai juice mixed with coconut water. It's a match made in heaven. The negative aspects of each drink neutralize each other. It's like it's an acai juice that isn't harsh and is a little chalky tasting. It doesn't really taste like coconut water at all, well minus the slight chalkiness. I know how much you like acai juice, but can only drink a tiny glass of it. This way you can chug a nice 16 ounce glass with no issues at all.

So, what do you think? Is this going to be the best date night ever or what? What do you mean you're breaking up with me. I put so much effort into this. How could you say that it sounds like a night from hell? This is authentic Brazil here! For Brazil night you want it to be all beaches and Carnival? Well it looks like we have different versions of a good time. Hey come back here when I'm talking to you, and bring back my juice!

This delicious soda has a sordid past with Franklin Mercer. As you all know, he grew up in rural Pennsylvania and this soda was in every store. At a very young age, before he even had his first sip, Franklin knew he loved soda. From ages 3-7 he would bug his parents every time they were at the corner store for a bottle of it. Like clockwork, they said not until he turned 10. This made no sense to Franklin because his older brother had been drinking root beer since the age of 4. Those Mercers were always hard to understand.

This all took a turn for the worst one day when he was visiting his grandparents in Kingston, PA. While they were taking their usual afternoon nap, he ventured into the kitchen for a snack. He couldn't believe his eyes when he found a bottle of this Reading Draft Creamy Red Birch Beer in the fridge. Without hesitation, he cracked it open and took his first sip of liquid heaven. He promptly drank the whole bottle and hid the evidence behind some newspapers on the counter. He didn't hide it good enough because his father found it an hour later when he came and picked it up.

As you can guess, Mr. Mercer was furious! He thought long and hard about what Franklin's punishment should be and he came up with the meanest thing he could think of. As long as Franklin still lived with his parents (which ended up being around 23 more years), an unopened bottle of this soda would be permanently affixed to his bedroom dresser. That bottle just sat there everyday, taunting Franklin. You'd think this would have turned him off from soda, but it actually increased his appetite for the sugary drink.

Franklin never had another bottle of this creamy red birch beer, which is a shame, because it's really good. I'm more partial to birch beers with a good bite to them, but this tastes like a mix of birch beer and red cream soda.

When I first bought this, I thought it was a play on Nikola Tesla's name. I had this whole review written in my head about Tesla coils, electricity, etc. Then I did some research and turns out this soda is from the 1930's and its name comes from the fact that it used to cost a nickel. Like most things, Coca-Cola bought them out in the 1950's and the soda was just a faded memory after that.

Luckily there are great companies like Orca Beverages that brings these old flavors back for us to enjoy. I especially want to thank them for this one because this cola is incredible! It's really complex and has lots of interesting ingredients like kola nut, neroli, and coriander. One of the most distinct flavors in this is cinnamon. I never though cinnamon would go well with cola, but it definitely does. It gives it a slight kick, not as much as Dr. Pepper but it really helps make this soda unique.

Feeling sluggish? - Zompo!

Enjoy sparkling fruit juice - Zompo!

Like fake ethnic drinks? - Zompo!

Know the molecular makeup of hotdogs? - Zompo!

Get Zompofied people!

I think this may have been created as a prop for Breakin' 2 - Electric Boogaloo. The label just screams 80's break-dancing and graffiti. Maybe Zompo was a character in the movie, but his appearance was left on the cutting room floor in order to give the film a shorter running time. I bet Zompo could do some sick freezes.

Less about the fictional character Zompo and more about Zompo the soda. I was shocked to see that this actually has strawberry and raspberry juice in it (albeit in concentrate form). It's rare that either of those fruit juices appear in soda. Normally when it's supposed to be one of those flavors it's all artificial flavoring and ends up not tasting like the fruit at all. This on the other hand definitely tastes like juice, juice laced with ginseng. Oh ginseng our dirty, dirty friend. YOU can always be spotted in drinks with your weird root/dirt flavor.

There are two misleading things on the label.
1. It's says it's an Italian style smoothie. There is nothing about this drink that would qualify it as a smoothie. It's a soda pop, or possibly a sparkling juice. It just doesn't have the consistency of a smoothie. Oh man, think of a nice thick smoothie that was carbonated. That would just be terrible. I mean I would of course drink it, but I would be weirded/grossed out the whole time.

2. The flavor is Wild Berries & Cream. That would lead one to believe that this was some sort of cream soda. One would be mistaken. There is no vanilla flavor, nor is there any creaminess to the texture of this drink. As I said before it tastes like carbonated berry juice with some ginseng thrown in the mix. Speaking of which, it's kind of odd that they chose to add ginseng, ginko biloba, guarana and caffeine to this. I think it makes it an unnecessary energy drink. Oh well, at least it's a natural energy drink and not filled with man-made chemicals.

I do believe that giving this to an expecting person would very likely result in your shoes and shirt being covered in vomit. It looks like it should be a foreign take on the juice box, which it essentially is. The thing is that not only does this have chunks of aloe in it, but it also has bits of nata de coco. I imagine someone taking a big squeeze of it into their mouth, expecting juice city, and then they are greeted with a mouthful of slime and chunks. It's a chunk overload and I absolutely love it. I'm actually skeptical to call this a drink because there are so many chunks that it's more like a semi-solid.

Let me break it down this way. This is basically a blood bag filled with apple juice with aloe sludge in it that is peppered with bits of nata de coco. It tastes exactly like someone mixed some plain flavored aloe juice with some apple juice. This is so much better than it should be.

Oh gee. I hope this doesn't taste like loganberry. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like loganberry. I kind of have to, I mean, I am from Western New York. So, to reiterate, I hope this doesn't taste like loganberry. Oh, fantastic, it tastes like loganberry. Oh great, it's carbonated and filled with artificial sweeteners. Awesome, a diet, carbonated loganberry. Plus, factor in the point that I don't know how much I just paid for this and this adds up to the start of a horror story of a drink. If you had to bottle and flavor a horror movie, it would be this drink. If you could have a flavored knife cut across your jugular, it would be a terribly dull knife that, when licked, would taste like this. If you were to be disemboweled by an inanimate object, a large bottle of this would have protruding arms and legs pulling at your entrails, all the while laughing menacingly and squirting it's liquid in your mouth.

Rain? Again? Drats. I've got so much gardening to do. What do you think, pup? What do we do? Sit inside and play video games? Pup, I'm not twelve anymore. I've got responsibilities and that rhubarb isn't going to make a pie out of itself. First thing's first, you've got to get a fresh bowl of water and some food. I've got to tell you, your food smells terrible. I suppose that your breath is the product of your food. Problem solved. I've got to wake up a little bit. Hey, do you know if your mom drank that...oh no. Here it is. Good. Archer Farms, pup, I don't know. I'm fifty-fifty on this stuff. It's half good and half real bad. I don't know what to expect but it says "coffee energy" so I'm going to take it at face value.

Hmm. That's not bad. It is way more mocha than coffee. Not much coffee at all. It's smooth, though, and that's nice. I hope this give me the pep to just bear the elements and take care of the garden. I'm telling you, pup. You take one day off and your garden looks like a pile of garbage. This drink is all right. It's not bad. It might be too sweet since it's closer to chocolate milk than coffee. I don't typically drink chocolate milk at eight in the morning so this is the start to a very strange day.

You know what, pup. You and I are going to see if this rain is going to subside. I don't want to have to towel you off because, let's face it, you're going to get muddy because you're short and you always get muddy. You also hate your little beans to be cleaned for some reason so let's sit in here for a bit, not brush our teeth, and catch up where we left off in Sonic 3. I'm stuck at that part where you've got super sonic and then you have to ride that dumb cart across the water, Knuckles punches you, and by the time you get to Dr. Robotnik, you have no rings. I hate it. Every time, pup, every time.

It's only fitting that I write this while listening to a classic metal band. I chose Iron Maiden's album "Piece of Mind" as the soundtrack for this behemoth of an energy drink. Sure it doesn't look that big in that picture, but check out what it looks like next to 12 and 16 oz cans: http://instagr.am/p/geEO7/.

I can easily say this is the biggest energy drink I've ever seen. Even the snapping sound it let off when I opened the can was a little intimating. Despite the similar appearance, this isn't just a repackaging of the original Monster flavor, which is good. It tastes similar to it, but is much lighter ironically. I would probably drink this every once in a while if it weren't for the can. The size of the can is very impractical to drink, unless you just want a workout. Or perhaps as a joke gift. I wonder how many of these will make an appearance at Maryland Deathfest this year.

This has LAN party written all over it. Then again, I could see this going one of two ways in the eyes of a gamer.

"Whoa! I love Mountain Dew AND Call of Duty! I gotta get this so I can drink it during that tournament my clan is entering next week!"

OR

"How clichè. Do they think they're going to sell more just by tying it in with COD: MW3? Let me guess, next Monster is going to release a special flavor to drink while you play Skyrim?"

Say what you will about game/movie tie-ins, if it brings a new flavor to our shelves I'm all for it. Given the color and the fact that it's flavor is "citrus cherry", I was expecting it to just be Code Red. They did add a little more citrus to the mix, but it's basically Code Red with more citrus and less cherry. I actually like it better than Code Red.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some gaming to do.

Who would have guessed that Goya would make a decent apple soda? Not me, that's who. Their fruit sodas tend to be by the book generic pop, almost to the level of store brand. Can I also take a moment to vent on how I think it's wasteful when companies spend the money to package their sodas in glass bottles, yet don't shell out the extra cash to use a decent sweetener? This is all corn syrup, and that really might be it's only downfall.

It's carbonated apple juice, and it tastes great. It really reminds me a lot of the various apple sodas I've had from Europe. The downfall is the thickness of it due to HFCS. Had they used cane sugar, this easily would have been a high four. Instead it stays at a respectable three.

Chocolate and cherries? A match made in heaven. Chocolate and most products is fantastic. Meat, fruit, probably some vegetables, more chocolate, bread...seriously. Chocolate rules. Cherries are great. They're no chocolate, but they're great. Who doesn't love that time of year where cherries aren't seventeen dollars a pound and you can enjoy their presence in your house until a week later where you have to create your own pyramid scheme to afford the little, red fruit?

I had high hopes for this drink because of the chocolate and cherry but when I noticed that rose was in there, I thought it was going to be like eating a cherry cordial out of a really old woman's blouse. Was I wrong? Unfortunately, I was not. You get cherry and an insufficient amount of chocolate but then a titch of fermented rose and that is a flavor that ruins the aforementioned delicious duo.

I can see this being enjoyed, but not by me, so much. It's like chocolate, cherry, rose, beer. If that sounds good for you, you, my friend, have a new favorite drink. In the meantime, I'm going to try and stop thinking of eating and drinking out of old lady's clothing. The things that go on underneath an eighty-seven year old woman's shirt is not for me.

Dear Hansens,
You make some very tasty beverages, but this isn't one of them. I bought this from Big Lots for 70 cents so you obviously already know this and have taken the steps to discontinue this awful iced tea. I'd expect this bland taste from a generic gas station iced tea, but not you. The worst part is that this is sweetened with cane sugar but it tastes like high fructose corn syrup. I can't even taste the pomegranate and the green tea tastes more like black tea. I bought a few flavors from this same discontinued line from Big Lots that I'm suddenly not so excited to try.