Thus far I have been very impressed with all of the drinks I have tried from the Grace company. They make possibly the best ginger beer I've ever had, and the other drinks have been top notch as well. Seeing as I am a huge fan of pineapple I knew I was in for a treat with this treasure bottle.

Like every other pineapple soda I've ever had it doesn't really taste like pineapple. Actually let me change that up (No, I have never heard of a delete key. I type this all up on a typewriter I feel desperately insecure without a typewriter in the house. I unfortunately lent out my Martinelli to my friend Bill and it came back smashed), It tastes like someone took pineapple juice and removed everything acidic about it. All you're left with is a sugary sweet juice. While I would love to have a pineapple soda that showed the fruit the respect it deserves, this is still one of the greatest pineapple sodas I've tried. It's not quite pineapple, but not overly candy-esque.

Underneath the cap it also reads "Dubby know who fi frighten." Translations are welcomed.

Deep within the jungles of South America, there is a town called Gazzu. Not many people know about it because it's really hard to get to. One must row down a river for 2 days, and then hike through the rainforest forest for another day. Only then do you come to Gazzu, the town so small it's not on any map. The reason why it's not on any map is because once people go there they never leave.

No, it's not because they get killed. Why would you jump to that conclusion? It's because of the Gazzu energy spring. While most places in the world have water springs, the spring here gives you life and energy. Okay, so maybe it doesn't give you life per se, but it definitely fills you with energy. Unlike other springs, it's carbonated and sweet. It almost tastes like melted candy.

Now you may ask yourself, how do you know about this spring? Well I live here in Gazzu. This has been one long infomercial on the merits of moving here. Don't you feel more informed now?

Everyone has that relative that they sometimes wish would stop coming around. Unfortunately, Mr. Cola is that person in his family. You see, his last name used to be Pepper. He lived a glorious life as Mr. Pepper. This all came to an end when he failed out of medical school. He was promptly kicked out of the house, told to change his name, and to never return. He was never the same after that.

He could have been anything, become anyone. He thought long and hard about what his name was going to be and he decided on Cola. He never had the bite his Pepper relatives were known for so he went with the nice and simple name of Cola. He lived a happy life as Mr. Cola, but never got the fame and fortune that his old family did. He didn't care. He was a sweet and simple man. He liked being nothing special, just another person walking down the street.

I don't know anything about anything. I always assumed that anything mojito was mint. I don't know the historical travels of the word, the Latin meaning. I just assumed that it was always mint and rum or gin or something. Vodka? I don't know anything. This might be a poor representation of a mojito in regards to it supposedly being mint and Cintron just forgetting the mint. I will tell you, though. Lemon and lime in a black tea make one fantastic Mènage à trois. I don't mean that in a sexual fashion because if there is ever a day where black tea, or just leaves, lemons, and lives are rocking the sheets, I hope to be either far from dead or below them to catch whatever comes out. Maybe that's how this was made. Maybe I have lost my mind this Christmas break since I just said that. What if I got some sort of brain damage for Christmas? Ugh, worse than socks and worse than underwear. This drink is no mint, all real lemon and lime mixed with a great sweetened tea. All natural. No grossness.

I'm going to cut this while I am at, what I hope, is my lowest point. Please...sitting underneath fruits and leaves having sex. Disgusting.

I'm slowly beginning to really enjoy sodas that have honey in them. The first one I ever had was Thomas Kemper and I didn't like it at first. Over time, it grew on me. This is another example of a decent root beer with honey in it. It has a nice classic root beer taste with not a whole lot of bite. But then the honey kicks in and it's a smooth and sweet aftertaste. I'd classify this as "good, but not great". Sorry Dominion, I love the label art though. The deer is very noble.

I've been groundskeeper of Bushwood Country Club for quite a few years now. Sure before that I was jocking out in Tibet, but that was only briefly. I mean when the Dalai Lama promises you total consciousness, there's really nowhere else to learn there. So here I am at Bushwood and I have to be honest most of the clientele around here are low-grade amateurs. They swing. They hit. They get stuck in the sand trap. Day in and day out it's the same thing. I just sit back and smile politely. I'm no dummy they are the ones with the cash and I live off the tips.

Lately Ty Webb, the only decent golfer I've seen on these lynx in years has been talking up this Golfer Aid drink. He says it's the secret of his game. Who am I to argue? The man has the focus of a statue. You should hear the weird noses he makes on the green. Along with focus, Mr. Webb has been telling everyone that it improves your balance, flexibility, strength, stamina and endurance. Sounds to me like if you drink it you're going to turn into the Hulk or something, but I promised him I'd give it the old college try, and Carl Spackler is a man of his word.

Hmm. This stuff tastes odd in the best possible way. It has to be the agave, but it's sweet in a very specific way that I can really dig. It actually reminds me of that Brain Toniq I tried a few months back. That was also supposed to improve focus, so maybe this is pure focus that I taste. Is this what my deathbed is going to taste like? I sure hope so. I do feel a tad more clarified. Perhaps this would be the best time to go out again and try to kill that darn gopher. He's been plaguing me long enough. With this extra brainpower he should be a corpse and I bet I'll be able to get in a quick back nine before it gets too dark to see. Mr. Webb sure is a smart man. Funny too. I made it through this whole can and I already want another. It's nice. It really just tastes like agave and it's lightly carbonated. I didn't expect that. With a name with "aid" at the end I was expecting some sorts of sports drink, but this is the sophisticated man's sports drink. It's meant for the upper class, and that is what I am for the day. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

Hey, buddy. Question. Did you find this ginger ale in a toilet? No? Well that's surprising. It smells halfway between a ginger beer and a toilet puck. If you had an unreliable car that broke down at a ginger ale plant and you had no choice but to use their bathroom, that's what has been bottled inside this drink.

No, I'm not ungrateful. I just wanted to let you know not to gift this to anyone else. I appreciate that this drink is sweetened with honey, but those bees joked on you, son, because this drink tastes like bees peed in it. You know what? Here's the $2. I just ripped your generosity apart and I am sorry. Your troubles have been paid for and now you don't have to feel bad. I understand that the thought was there, but I'm your friend and this drink blows.

I'm pretty certain that the cartoon cat on this bottle may have been modeled after Mike. He's got the swimming trunks, the white shoes, the wrap around shades, it looks like he has a beard, and most importantly it has a look of complete apathy about what is happening around it. That cat is in a good place and it's not going to let outside factors ruin his time. It may take some work though because he appears to be drinking a bottle of this self same orange soda (which has a picture of him on it holding a bottle of the self same orange soda, so on and so forth). If I know this cat like I know Mike, then I can assure you this cat loves hot dogs (and writing over 100 songs about barbeques). I can only assume that he is about to eat half his body weight in hot dogs, and is planning on enjoying this soda to wash them down. Yes it is a scientific fact that orange soda is the perfect beverage to accompany hot dogs, read a book!

Mike cat is going to love those hot dogs. In fact he may go back for more to eat his entire body weight. He is going to be disappointed about his beverage selection though. Look, I've eaten a lot of hot dogs in my life, so it stands to reason that I have also drank a lot of orange soda. It's a fairly low quality flavor of pop. It doesn't give you much to work with, but you don't expect much and that is the beauty of it. DG has somehow managed to make generic orange pop taste off. It starts off just as you would expect it to, but then it fades into lemon-lime territory for some reason. I also feel like there is way more citric acid in each bottle than necessary. I hope Mike cat brought a backup because this isn't going to do what he needs to get done. Maybe he doubled up the DG and brought some of their tasty ginger beer.

I knew that soursop had another name, and I like soursop. It's nice and fruity. I had it in my mind grapes that white gourd was soursop under a different name. I sat down ready to enjoy a nice fruit blast. I didn't get that. I didn't get that at all. Instead I got a mouthful of "cereal tea." My ladyfriend says it tastes like the Japanese dessert mochi. She's right it does, and I don't like those either.

You can take a sip of this and hold it in your mouth for as long as you can hold your breath, and all you will taste is a weak sweet tea. The moment you swallow and breathe it's all cereal and rice. The fact that this comes in a juice box is mind bottling. Maybe children in Taiwan are just accustomed to this flavor. If you gave this to Joe-Schmoe elementary school student I bet they would slap you in your face. I wouldn't blame them. Now I really wish I had some soursop.

Zack is afraid of bees. He wasn't always. When he worked yardscaping, he used to stare bees right in their yellow and black faces as they repetitiously stung him here, there, and everywhere in between. One day he was mowing a lawn and bumped the lawnmower right into a tree. A beehive came down right on his head like in the cartoons and he ran around the yard blind and got stung over and over again. He had really upset the bees that time and he knew it.

From that day on, Zack had become allergic to bees. If he got stung, he would have to take medicine or it would be difficult for him to breathe. His once cocky immunity was now left behind in exchange for a constant fear of the buzzing little buggers.

When he was at a local store, he came across this drink. "Made from pure honey..." he muttered to himself as he placed the bottle in his cart. The added flavors of chamomile tea would most certainly calm him down about his tasty revenge on the bees. When he got home, he threw some ice in a glass, poured half the bottle in, and prepared for a very relaxing summer day. After "the event," Zack hadn't really spent a lot of summers outdoors because he was afraid anytime anything made a sound even close to a "buzz." This was truly going to be "the summer of Zack." One sip in, though, he realized that not all was as good as it used to be. This tea had a very strong chamomile taste and almost tasted waxy. Now anyone who has eaten real honeycomb knows that there is wax in it, so it's at least explainable, but perhaps not desirable in drink form. Between the natural honey and the chamomile, there was a bit of a zesty zip to it. Relaxing, yes, but it had a lot more body than he had anticipated.

Zack vowed never to do yard work without his official bee suit on again after that dreaded day, but this drink will bring him one step closer to getting an apology for the day the bees took away his ability to enjoy the sun.

For the four months or so that this has been sitting in my cupboard I thought that it was a "Weight Watchers" product. They have their own diet product line, don't they? Even if they don't, I always thought they did, and this was a gift from a friend who I believe ganked it from their mom's house. Now that I'm drinking this and I see that it's not Weight Watchers, I'm a bit disappointed. I don't need diet pop in my life, especially something that looks like it could be a store brand. If I had to review every low rent diet soda in the world, I would probably quit Thirsty Dudes. I don't have the taste buds for it. If I decided to stick it out and reviewed all of the diet orange soda in the world, I bet 99% of them would taste exactly the same. This can does not fall in that magical 1%. Sure it's nicely carbonated and it smells very orangey, but the fake orange flavor plays second fiddle to the gross death taste of Splenda. I don't know how people drink this stuff. I seriously believe that in 50 years they will find out that Splenda and other artificial sweeteners are way worse for you than actual sugar.

Dear Drain, Meet Diet Soda. I hope the two of you have a happy life together.

Happy Boxing Day! No I'm not Canadian, but sometimes I feel like we (Buffalo residents) should be granted dual citizenship due to our close proximity. We get Canadian TV and radio, most businesses accept Canadian coins, and we recognize Boxing Day (sort of). I'm sure my pleas are falling upon deaf ears, but at least I have this soy nog.

When I told people I found soynog made by Earth Balance, most people were disgusted. I'm guessing they pictured a glass of eggnog with a stick of butter in it. I question people's logic sometimes, isn't a company allowed to make other products that are not derivatives of what they're most famous for? I love Earth Balance margarine and think it's the best tasting stuff out there. Even when I wasn't vegan I thought so. I didn't think this was going to have a buttery taste, but I had a feeling that it was going to be delicious.

And I was right! This is great soynog. It was the perfect beverage to drink yesterday at my grandma's Christmas gathering. This is my favorite soy based nog I've had so far. While it's been over 5 years since I've had the real thing, this reminds me the most of what eggnog was like. Nice smooth and slightly thick consistency, with a great nutmeg taste. The only thing that makes me sad is knowing that in a month I won't be able to find it in stores again until next holiday season. Oh well, it will give me something to look forward to.

Dear Italy, Why have I never graced your shores? I feel like I have been nearby several times, but we never made the leap into the birthplace of pasta and organized crime. You are the home to many great things, and I think you deserve for me to visit and show some respect. I promise I will do so in the next few years. We'll have a quiet little date. We'll eat some real deal homemade pasta and sauce and you'll sip on a nice wine while I down glass after glass of the soda that is your namesake. I have to say that I may actually enjoy the soda more than your conversation. You know I don't speak Italian. I understand you're trying to make a point, but when I don't understand a thing you're saying the meaning you're trying to convey is lost. How about you just give in and speak English, just for a little while. The soda on the other hand speaks a language that everyone can understand (well except diabetic). It's the language of flavor. You Italy are more intelligent than most. You may have been the first to carbonate your juices, and didn't give up on the practice. You kept right on trucking. I assume that red oranges are the same as blood orange. If not they sure taste the same. It has a tarter, bolder orange flavor. It's the top of the evolution tree of oranges. They aren't going to get better than this. You took this miracle fruit and added just a little bit of sugar and some nice bubbles and you have something close to perfection.

It might be the soda talking, but you're looking pretty good tonight Italy. Oh you have a little bit of sauce on your cheek. No, not that side the other side. Down a little. To the right. Okay it's gone. Now you have some basil in your teeth....

I'm here, at work, post Christmas, all alone. I'm surrounded by the soothing sounds of The Best Show Christmas Extravaganza. I am eating chocolate Teddy Grahams, because I am apparently eight. To inverse the ageism of that, I am drinking cough medicine disguised as cranberry lime seltzer water. It does not taste like cranberry or lime and somehow even has a Vicks tang to it. I don't know how it was done as they added water and natural flavors.

I do not have a cough nor do I want one. I do want to know how products like this make it past testing. I know what a cranberry tastes like and this isn't it. I even will go as far as saying that I know what cranberry lime tastes like together and this isn't it. I will say there is lime in there. I have concentrated and discovered lime much like Christopher Columbus laid claim to the pre-discovered land that is America.

I wish I hadn't eaten all of those Teddy Grahams. The eight year old in me wins again.

It's over. It's finally over. Ladies and gentlemen, Christmas 2011 has come to a close. I for one couldn't be happier. I spent the last two days not in my house but about twenty-five miles in every other direction and also in my car. Look, I am not a grinch. Sure, I hate getting presents but that's mostly because I'm a piece of crap who doesn't deserve anything but at the same time is self-sufficient and if I want something, I'll work my butt off to get it. I'm terrible at receiving gifts for that reason and I know that I would be much happier if no one bought me anything. I asked for one thing this year and I got it. Do you know what it is? Whisky stones. I don't always put my drinks in the fridge and don't want to put my drinks in a glass with ice because the ice will melt and skew my drinking experience. Yes, a Thirsty Dudes item was the only item on my wish list. I don't at all feel spoiled because I got everything that I asked for because I go the whole year not asking for anything and therefore making it near impossible to buy for but do you know what? Back to square one; I don't deserve anything and if I want it, I'll buy it myself.

In continuance, I spent the last thirty-six hours in my car apparently just picking up nothing short of a million toys for my ten-month-old son who made out like a G.D. bandit on his first Christmas. Toys. Clothes. Food. The whole gamut. My car was filled to the brim with so much stuff that I took up space where the dogs were sitting and also had to leave stuff at my parent's house because the dogs simply wouldn't have had a place to go.

Exhausted after remove what seemed like ten thousand pounds of bags and boxes from my car, I was quite thirsty. I grabbed a can of Coca-Cola that Derek's daddy brought back from Thailand on a recent trip to do whatever the heck he does over there. I had the vanilla and it was great and I knew that the lemon was not going to be as good. I was right. It's not a good "right" when you win when something is worse and you know it. It was fine. It tastes like lemony Coke, but it didn't keep me coming back like it should have. So much, in fact, that when my girlfriend, hot on a cleaning purge, dumped half the can down the drain, I wasn't upset. I got what I needed for the review and who needs to drink a can of cola right before bed? Not me, friend.

Christmas is over. I think that deserves more fanfare than Christmas approaching. If your family got you lemon Coke, it won't go in the return pile, but it might win by a hair from the dreaded "re-gift" pile.

In order to cut my chocolate intake a bit, I decided on a root beer float. I undoubtedly made the right decision. This pop was spectacular. I don't know where the "float" came from, but the root beer was pretty great. If I had to stretch it, I might saw that the root beer was smoother than normal. If they called it "root beer" I would have been satisfied. "Float" doesn't take away from the drink, it just builds up some expectations. The root beer was that good that I don't care if they called it "crap soup". Go ahead. I dare you. Put out a root beer called "crap soup" and dare me not to drink it.

I always think that Odwalla is on the bottom of the trio of Odwalla, Naked and Bolthouse juices. I call them the big three, because they are the three companies that are readily available pretty much anywhere in the USA. I think I must have always drunk their Super Protein line. I remember the smoothies always being a bit on the chalky side. With the C Monster drinks that is not a problem at all? Do you love orange juice? Do you also have an affinity for strawberries? Then this is the drink for you. There are some grapes and a little apple in here as well, but you don't notice it. All this tastes like it a premium orange juice that has a handful of strawberries blended into it. I bought this because it was on sale for half off, but I think this may have changed my opinion of Odwalla and I'll be checking out their other flavors shortly.

Christmas time is upon us. I'm Jewish so you think that I wouldn't care, but I'm a horrible Jew. I don't hate Christmas or ham. I don't like shellfish so that's one in the "Good Jew" column, but I have tattoos and had piercings so that essentially knocks me out of any running to be "Jew of the year." For Christmas, you would typically have snow but not here. Global warming, if it exists, is in full effect. We are two days shy of the big day and there isn't one flake of snow on the ground and I am actually still wearing only a hoodie. I could be prepared if need be, but I simply don't have to worry about it.

It's hardly summer, but it's always a good time for a simple iced tea. That's where this Lipton PureLeaf line comes in. I have thoroughly enjoyed the entirety of this line and this lemon is, I'm assuming, where it all began. It's good. It tastes natural, is natural, and earns the name and the glass bottle it comes in. My boss bought me a titanium straw and I have been using it all day. In preparation for some sort of apocalypse when all plastic is destroyed I've got both a glass and titanium straw within arms reach. Zombies may be able to kill me if I don't get my hands on a machete and a boat, but when they do, I'll have gone out quenched.

Zombies, the elusive "Jew Card", Christmas, review...solid review, Mike. Solid review.

Move over cocaine. You're so last year and also so 1980s simultaneously. You are no longer the energizing powder powerhouse that you once were. Phix beat you hands down. Allow me to count the ways that Phix is better than cocaine:

1. Legality - Phix you can buy from a store without prescription and no one is going to think twice when you have that and you itch your nose.


2. Flavor - Citron is basically citrus. Lemon and orange, if I had to place it. Maybe a pineapple, but a great overall citrus taste. Cocaine? Oh, sandy gas flavored? Awesome.


3. Side Effects - Lemon breath and energy. Cocaine? Crashes, feening, jail time, bloody noses.


4. Cost - A five pack with cost around $12. It seems like a lot, but it's quite good and works out to be a little over $2. Using $50 as the going rate for a gram of cocaine, that would translate to one pack of around twelve grams costing you around $600.

As you can see Phix is a win-win.

Hangover Joe's sent us a package of these Hangover Recovery Shots. Since none of us here at Thirsty Dudes drink alcohol, we outsourced our review to our friend and cohort Pat Shanahan. Last night was Mohawk Place's (our favorite bar/place for shows in Buffalo) annual Xmas party. Originally Pat was going to wait to get drunk enough to need to drink this, but about halfway through the night he had a change of heart and the PBR flowed like water down his gullet. As you can see from his review he got drunk, fast, and his alter ego "Brocktoon" made an appearance. Here's what he had to say.

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"Sometimes you spend a long evening drinking keg beer at your favorite dive bar. Later, You take a nap on floor. A couple of hours later the bartender gives you a ride home. Nice guy. Fast forward to the morning after. You take a hangover recovery shot. Tastes kinda like generic Smarties. Not too bad. I kind of wish it was bigger. Maybe it helps to relieve the headache, just a little bit, but not too much. Now you have to walk to your friend's house to feed their cat while they are out of town. At least you didn't get arrested, or get anyone pregnant. Merry Xmas." - Pat

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As for a Thirsty Dude's perspective on the taste of this, it tastes like someone mixed an entire package of Kool Aid powder into a shot glass of water. It's sweet, fruity and very strong. I understand where Pat got his Smarties taste. It really tastes like a Kool Aid flavored energy shot. They share a lot of the same ingredients. Actually now that I look at the ingredients of this and a 5 Hour Energy back to back this is pretty much an energy shot with some extra vitamins in it. Makes sense. We wish Pat/Brocktoon a speedy recovery.