Baron Von Ginseng rides again! He has yet again narrowly escaped the Allied Forces to spread his dirt flavored health benefits another day. The Allies had him cornered in a soda complex somewhere in the south of Poland. They thought there was no escape for him, but when they searched the grounds he was nowhere to be found. The only vehicle that left was a truck full of cola. They searched the truck and decided that the Baron was not on board so they let it make its delivery. With him not being on the grounds anymore it is believed that he must have fused himself with the cola. A true trickster indeed. The Forces would like to make a statement to warn civilians that Baron Von Ginseng is heavily armed and should be considered dangerous. One would believe that you would notice him in your cola on first sip. One might ask "How would I not notice the flavor of a potted plant in my refreshing soda?" The truth is that he is a master of disguise and our top scientists believe that the cola may neutralize his naturally disgusting taste. It would still taste slightly earthy, but the cola flavor would reign supreme (to the chagrin of the Baron). Be aware that what you may be ingesting is a refreshing naturally earthy flavored cola that has the benefits of ginseng. It's a strange world out there and you should always be on the lookout.

What happens when a boy from the South meets a girl from south of the South; Jamaica? Hilarity ensues. Watch as this crazy couple fights their way to love in this fantastic summer comedy. See Dax Shepherd in his best role since the 2006's smash hit, Idiocracy as a twenty-year-old Southern man on spring break meets Janet (played by both Tia and Tamara Mowry) on a trip to Jamaica. Dax Shepherd has a culture shock when he sees what Janet drinks, spiced pineapple juice. When Irwin (Shepherd) makes Janet try the South's iconic drink, sweet tea, the two fight it out for days, making everyone on the island try both drinks to decide which is better.

This romantic comedy turns sad when they can't decide and part ways with only one day left in Irwin's vacation. My favorite scene is where they are running around a fishing village like two chickens with their heads cut off and bump into each other, spilling their drinks into an empty DG Ting bottle. A man (Mos Def, uncredited) comes by, and says, "Hey mon, I thought that I drank this Ting ting." and proceeds to drink this mixture that the couple accidentally made. He said that he loved it because it was like the taste of the Caribbean mixed with the best American drink he had ever had, sweet tea. He then arbitrarily gave the drink a four, as if he were rating it, and then dove in the water and caught a fish with his bare hands.

All in all, I give this movie two thumbs up. The dynamic between the two protagonists really tugs at the heartstrings, regardless of how light this movie appears. Frankie Muniz did a wonderful job writing the screenplay for this film. Catch "Bag Juice" this holiday season in most theaters nationwide.

Fizz Ed, the oddly punctuated and spaced, past tense of the verb "fizz" or "to fizz" is the title of this drink. "Dude, I was so fizzed last night after I drank all that pop." for example.

I have known many people to have gotten "fizzed" at parties. I'm pretty sure Derek drank like eighty ounces of pop one night. That, to me, makes we want to research a respectful and affordable dentist, and get my teeth checked out as I haven't had a dentist for about five years, and before that, it was my pediatric dentist. I'm pathetic, I know, but hey, he's got all my records and knows my teeth. I am quite sure that he would jump out the window of his dental practice, which wouldn't do much as it's on the ground floor, if he found out that I did this website and drank so much junk all of the days.

This would be a great drink if you were sick because it's fruity and doesn't taste too different from cough syrup. It's doesn't have a bad taste, but it does have a bit of a syrupy, thick texture to it. Drinks shouldn't have a texture unless it's blatant, like a chia seed drink, or an aloe, or anything with Nata De Coco, or something along those lines.

I wonder what my dentist is up to and if I am still the oldest person that goes there. I know it's wrong that a twenty nine year old man-boy is going to a child's dentist. Sure, I don't care as much about the balloon animals and don't care at all about the stickers and my mouth has grown beyond the kid's toothbrushes, too. I know it's got to be better than adult dentists, though. At least I can learn about cool things like pistachio trees in Highlights magazine in my dentist and I don't have to read magazines like "Time" or "People".

Marty wasn't like the other kids. He just could not get down with creamsicles. It just reminded him of when he was but a toddler and he tried to make an ice cream float with orange juice instead of soda. Just thinking about how the mixture curdled makes him want to vom all over the place. Ever since then he has stayed clear of those treats in ice cream and soda form.

The strange thing is that little Marty loves this Vio drink. You might say "but Marty that is the exact same thing as a creamsicle except the orange is switched out for lemon lime." You would be correct, but what you're forgetting is that Marty didn't dump cream into a cup filled with straight lemon and lime juice. When he drinks this, he just thinks about it being 7Up or Sprite that had ice cream added to it, and then it melted. No curdling involved. He's a happy camper. I'm a happy camper. You're a happy camper. Did I mention that we're at summer camp, sitting around a campfire sipping on these little treats? Well maybe I'm not a happy camper. While I love the way these taste, they do get to be a bit much to drink a whole 8oz bottle.

One reason you don't mess around with a Thirsty Dude is because we're overly sarcastic, very quick witted, and could destroy most anyone in a battle of wits. Another reason is because we stock all sorts of drinks that you don't know exist so when you ask, jokingly, for something "chunky and slimy", there is a good chance we can product such a drink with ease and you will be stuck drinking your own words.

One of my bosses requested the previously mentioned variety of drink and I was lucky enough to have on in the fridge at that moment, so from unsuspecting, funny suggestion to sorry and chunks took all of five minutes.

This is a stretch for me to say. I will say it, because I mean it, though, so here goes. This is the best lychee drink and the best nata de coco drink I've ever had. It's got a great lychee flavor and is very strong scented. Very perfumey, like an old woman that you don't mind sitting next to on the bus. The coco chunks have a great, fun, consistency that isn't too hard, and isn't too soft. It's not like an aloe as it has way more bite to it. I could only describe it as a very, very soft eraser. I liked it and would drink it again. Thank you Malaysia, the gayest country in Asia.

As someone who used to fly semi-often I can tell you that when the flight attendant comes around and asks what kind of drink you want, the only correct answer is ginger ale. I don't know why but airplanes and ginger ale go hand in hand like hot dogs and corn relish. To be honest it's very rare that I partake in a ginger ale when I'm not flying. When I do I just feel like I'm missing out on part of the experience.

I may not be thousands of feet above the Earth right now, but I am still enjoying the heck out of this ginger ale. In fact I believe it may be the best I've ever had. It smells spicy, like a tame ginger beer, but when you take a sip it's all flavor and no burn. In my not so humble opinion it blows your Vernors and Schweppes clear out of the friendly skies. The secret is that it is made with natural gingers and not extracts or artificial flavors. Even though this line is marketed as a mixer for alcoholic drinks, it more than stands up on it's own.

Ahh cascading ice. Nothing tastes better than a nice avalanche rushing over a citrus orchard. A nice, giant ice dam covering all of Florida and pulling forth all the natural juices from oranges and lemons sounds delicious. Mother nature doing her job. Moving millions of tons of ice downward, squeezing juices from fruits to make crisp, cool, fresh water.

If that were the case, awesome, but there is one more step to make this drink do what it's supposed to do and that's to be carbonated. I suppose, at some state, man has to come in, bottle it, and put it on shelves. Using the previous scenario, all would happen as described, then man would break off chunks of this citrus ice into clean wheelbarrows, take them to the carbonation factory where they carbonate whatever is poured into "the hole" and then it bottles it and it's off the consumers everywhere.

The result? An unsweetened Sprite. People, it is just seltzer water with orange and lemon. I guess it would be like an unsweetened Ski. Wait, does Ski have lime or lemon? Now I don't remember.

Oooh man. Oooh no. Oooh jeez. I need it. I need it so bad. Oooh man. Ooooh God. Ooooh kill me. I need it. Ahhh. Dude, dude, dude, dude...do you have the stuff? You do? Oh, how much do I owe you? A dollar fifty? Oh, man. Hold on. Hey, other dude, do you have a quarter? No, it doesn't need to be a case quarter. Thanks. Here you go, dealer. A dollar fifty. Thanks, dude.

Finally, I've got it. I've needed this. What time is it? Two thirty? I should have had this a half hour ago. I'm feening so hard. Alright, I've got to go in the bathroom to take care of business. Alright, down the hatch. Oh, it smells good. It doesn't smell poisonous. It smells like Flintstone vitamins. Alright, once again, down the hatch. Wooooo! I feel like Ric Flair up in here. I hope no one heard me. That was very loud. It tastes like Flintstone vitamins. I was anticipating this to taste vile but I was wrong. Alright, I'm going to be juiced up for the last...one hour of work. What time is it?! Three thirty? I've been in here doing old wrestler impressions and getting myself juiced up on this energy shot for an hour? Man, I hope that I'm going to have enough energy to run out the door when they fire me.

Leave it to huckleberry to be the standout in a completely average line of sodas. Now don't get all upset, I didn't say they were bad. Every flavor I've had has been decent, but they just don't stand up and yell in my face that I need to drink them again or else they may kill my entire family with their awesomeness. I think it's also safe to say that if huckleberry was a more common flavor this would also seem mediocre, but as it stands I've only had two other companies version of this fruit pop. This may be my least favorite of the three, but I would still choose it over almost all other "every day" pops. The flavor falls somewhere between grenadine and grape. It's like a Shirley Temple with a splash of grape juice mixed in, except you know....better than it sounds.

As you may or may not know Sprecher has a team of various animals working for them that help gather the ingredients for their different sodas. They have foxes, cows, bears and even a penguin on the payroll. What many people don't know is that not only is the crow is not only employed, but he is actually the CEO of the company. The man in the suit in all of their commercials (that are on constantly during sporting events) is nothing more than a corporate puppet. The crow knows that America is not ready for a company run by a bird. I'm sorry for blowing up his spot, but the world needs to know and learn to accept that some species of birds have a more sophisticated taste palate. Learn and love America.

On a recent secret business trip to the UK Sprecher Crow stumbled across the Tango soda line. The orange flavor was in every gas station, but he found a single can of their apple soda and upon trying it he knew that he had to try and replicate it's flavor. Once he was back stateside he quickly got to work in "The Nest" to perfect it. When he was completed he realized that he hadn't quite got the flavor right, but what he did create was something that was fairly wonderful. Basically it tastes like a non-alcoholic British sweet apple cider. While it's in your mouth it has the classic Sprecher "fire brewed" taste. After you swallow the apple hits you fast and it hits you hard. It's definitely a red apple taste and not green, which I fully support. If you're an American it's closer to an apple juice than an American cider, but I certainly am not complaining. Perhaps Sprecher Crow should consider making this a staple flavor and not just available seasonally.

I don't like things I can't explain. I like new things because it's a new experience. This drink I simply can't put my finger on. When you burp, yes, it tastes like sarsaparilla, but when you drink it...question mark. I cannot place it. No matter how much I take a big sip, little sip, swish, and smell. On and on it goes and no answers. I might want to say that there is orange in it, but I can't be sure since one of the ingredients is listed as "natural and artificial flavors". Vague, nice.

This could also be the fastest dissipating drink I've ever drank. As soon as it's off your tongue, it's gone. No remnants, no remainder, no carry the one. Here then gone. Like a sports car that might be awesome but it drove past you on a residential street going around ninety and you couldn't tell if it was a Ferrari or what. All you know is it was fast. At least with a Ferrari, it would get your mind going about things like driving it, seeing it slower, touching it, sitting in it, wondering if Burt Reynolds was driving it. This drink just left you wondering why you wasted your time drinking something that didn't want to spend any time with you. This drink is a crappy girlfriend.

Dear Italy, I love what you've done with sodas. Your version is generally not as sweet, but still very flavorful. I'd like to think that you were trying to take the same approach with this tea, but you lost your way on the adventure. I think where you went wrong is that you concentrated on the peach instead of the tea. I can safely say that you got the peach down perfectly. You actually used peach juice instead of artificial garbage, and it shows. Well done. Unfortunately I think you used either all of your time or your capital working on that and forgot to give the tea the very special attention it deserved. You could have very easily brewed some fresh tea, that would have been great, but you went with a tea extract (poor choice). While this still tastes great, it's more like a peach drink than a tea drink. Sorry.
Sincerely,
The Thirsty Dudes

Eli was no captain at all. In fact he was nothing but a little punk kid with no friends save for his parrot, Perry. You may find yourself asking, "Where did Eli befriend a tropical bird such as Perry?" I'm going to let you in on some intel about our little Eli; he's a bit of a troublemaker and a thief. Last summer he hopped a train down to Boston and stole Perry from a zoo while it was closed. No one knows how Eli got back up to Maine, or how he got the bird to come with him but here he is rowing his stupid little thief boat out to sea. Just a bit earlier he and Perry filled their rowboat up with strawberries that they stole from the back of the local Co-Op. As they were rowing away the manager overheard Perry squawking about bubbly water (He is a stupid parrot, so he repeats everything Eli says. It's said that Eli only hangs out with the parrot because he is such a narcissist.). Cases of carbonated water were constantly going missing from the local Whole Foods. The manager had his suspicions of Eli, but to him the word of that mangy bird was all he needed.

You see the end of all Eli's crime is that he is passionate about soda pop. He hated the gross syrupy sodas that he stole from the gas stations, so he took matters into his own hands. He found a cave down on a secluded beach, stole some vats and bottles and started brewing his own pop to his own specifications and tastes. Hi newest batch would be a strawberry soda that tasted more like those little strawberry candies whose wrappers look like the fruit. He wanted that in bubbly liquid form, but not so sickly sweet. Sadly Perry went nuts and overturned the boat. No one has seen Eli since. He was a menace to the town, but for some reason they missed him, so they brewed up a batch of strawberry soda for his send off. Since he had stolen all the actual strawberries they had to use artificial flavors, but I think they achieved their goal.

For some people, coffee is not enough. For some people, energy drinks are not enough. For the rest, you've got to combine caffeine with caffeine and hope for the best. I am no nutritionist, but I am a scientist and I would say that this could not be worse for you than anything else you could drink.

Ignoring all nutritional value, which in this case, if it weren't for the FDA demanding that legitimate numbers be printed on the back of all food, should just say "Bad." Oh sure, there is a ton of vitamin B in there, but who cares? I think my mom takes a B12 for memory. Her memory is fine, but she takes it. I think it's a girl thing, like how all girls have anemia, but probably don't, they just all think that they should because their mom's told them to take it.

One thing your mom or dad is not going to turn you on to is this. It's not bad, but if your parents care about you, they won't let you have this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're an adult and you can make your own decisions. You're such a rebel. Look, you're not sixteen anymore. Make up with your parents and see what they've been up to. No one cares that you don't get along with your daddy and it's unfortunate. Bury the hatchet about that thing that happened at Thanksgiving twelve years ago and get a steak with your friggin' dad.

It doesn't taste like an energy drink, but it also doesn't taste like coffee. It kind of tastes like a liquidy coffee iced cream. Perhaps with some diet action to it. Your mom wouldn't like it. Your daddy wouldn't like it. Your boss might like it, but your boss is always a bit juiced up.

Job was a sad man. Generally sad. Depressed sad. It's nothing that he could do or change. It was a chemical imbalance that, through no fault of his own, caused him to cry constantly. The only thing that would make him happy was to eat edamame by the barrel. He would go to sushi restaurants and order three servings of it himself before he had the money to buy a steamer of his own. He would always have some dessert, too. He loved his sweets.

One day, Job had just drank a glass of water and eaten his sixth serving of edamame. He didn't have any money to keep the soybeans a-flowin' so, naturally he began to cry. He cried harder than he had ever cried before. While he was crying, the waitress brought him over the check and a piece of candy to cleanse the palate a little bit. He sadly ate the candy, which, by the way, is the worst way to eat sweets. He cried so hard that a constant stream of tears rushed down his cheeks and into his cup of water. He got up and paid the bill and went home to continue on his sad day.

The waitress, who was a bit off in the head, saw what had happened and saw where the liquid in the glass came from. She looked at it, saw that it was a little thick, and a little milky, and she did the unthinkable and drank some of Job's tears. While she didn't hate it, she thought that it was good enough to market. She called Job in as she had been in there enough times that they were on a first name basis. She told him to make more because she was going to bottle it and sell it. He thought it was gross that she drank it but he was happy that he made something that someone enjoyed so he ate soybeans on the house and cried into multiple open containers. The waitress bottled them and sold them at the restaurant. They didn't sell many because they were labeled as "Job's tears" but the ones that were sold, we enjoyed. People said that the drink tasted like watery, slightly sweetened, soybean juice.

Job was happy that all of his sadness made some people happy and he could at least make money crying all day. The waitress made a new friend, Job, who ended up being her business partner for a long time. The people who frequented the restaurant were deranged because they literally and voluntarily drank someone's sorrow.

Sometimes you go in expecting low quality jeans and you leave expecting diet pop to taste good. It's a crazy world where truth good denim is everywhere and diet drinks that don't taste as such are a diamond in the rough. A needle in a haystack. A boob in a PG movie. I think you can see where this is going and the direction is not towards things like bird's nests, birds, and bird houses.

Pomegranate is a distinct flavor and Jones captured it pretty well. They also got my hopes up by simply printing the word "hibiscus" on the bottle. You don't get hibiscus, but you do get diet and that is enough to make a grown man cry mostly because pomegranate and hibiscus together would be a match made in heaven. Instead, you get a decent pomegranate flavor, which is promptly ruined by a poor selection of artificial, diet sweeteners.

Dr. Jones, I like you. This is not your best work. I'm not going as far to say that it's a dead patient, but it could be something like leaving cotton swabs inside a surgery patient and then sewing that dude up like a bear you made in your seventh grade home and careers class.

I've never had guanabana before. I was expecting it to be very bitter, very bland, or like guava (solely because they start with the same first two letters). Reality has it that it tastes like none of the above. I think it tastes like a smooth fake strawberry with a little bit of passionfruit in the mix. My ladyfriend thinks it tastes like melon. She is wrong. Dead wrong. Maybe I'm, just being a jerk. It's pretty thick, but it is a nectar and does have corn syrup in it.

Guanabana is also known as soursop, I just discovered. I searched our page and Mike also thought that it tasted kind of like passionfruit. Looks like great (and stupid) minds think alike. Since I thought this was going to be something on the grosser side of the taste spectrum, it was a nice pleasant surprise.

I have reached this conclusion from the name of this beverage; Karma. If I am to believe the nonsense that I just thought up the taste of this beverage is dependent on how well you have lived your life in regard to others. By this way of thinking I've just learned that I have had a very mediocre relationship with my fellow human beings. I haven't been terrible to them, but at the same time I have never done grand things for them either. If I ever want this to be a top-notch drink then I am going to have to start being a better human being. Damn.
The drink is along the same lines as the Activate line. It's a normal flavored beverage that has a packet of vitamins in the cap. Before you drink it you push down the to of the cap to release the vitamins into the drink. Then you shake it all up and take your maiden sip. I wish the base drink was actually a brewed green tea instead of just green tea leaf extract. That and the secondary sweetener of Stevia rebaudiana make the drink taste a little fake. If I had been a better person I have no doubt that it would have been brewed tea and just cane sugar. I can just imagine how much better the drink would be. It actually does taste like passionfruit, but the coldness of the Stevia kind of ruins it. It's basically a fresher version of a tea version of a Vitamin Water (that was a mouthful) that was unfortunately sweetened in a way that I'm not into. Guess I'm off to be a sweeter dude to the world. I really want better tasting drinks.

Alright fine. I'll come out and say it. For the last week, I've been on a cruise. We went to a tropical location and it was quite lovely. Food and drink were atrocious and there was one day where, and I'm making up a percentage, 80% of the boat got wicked sick. Aside from that, it was totally awesome and I would do it again.

While being on that boat, I was tired. Super tired. I could never get enough sleep. It's not that I didn't sleep well, which I didn't, but I think that the (mostly) gentle rocking of the boat put me to sleep so any time I was in the room, I would touch the bed and wake up an hour later. Just like that. Like a tired baby, my face would touch the bed and BAM, seven turned into eight.

Now I'm home and should be well rested, but I'm not. I'm still tired and have a life to live. I've got things to do, people to see, obligations to sort out and all the while I am tired and still have my sea legs attached instead of my trusty, land lubber legs. To compensate and hopefully, temporarily over-compensate, I have taken part in this energy drink. I have been drinking a lot of these as of late. I hope there isn't anything wrong with me but assuming there isn't, let's get down to brass tacks and review this drink.

It's good. I had never seen this Vitamin Energy before and the corner store, aptly named "The Corner Store" had it so I bought her and threw her in the fridge for a week. Having eaten one actual dragon fruit, I felt like I was an expert in the matter.

This drink tasted remarkably like dragon fruit and remarkably not gross/energy...y. I would say ten percent, maybe fifteen percent energy and the remainder is dragon fruit. I wonder why anyone would drink a Red Bull or equivalent if they have energy drinks that taste like this. Seriously, people. If you like energy drinks and live by Red Bull, you're a dummy because there are better tasting energy drinks out there. Don't be a dummy. Get this drink.

So you've finally made it to the coastline. You've been out in California for the past four days and all you have to show for it are awkward meals and events with family that you don't really know. It has been a dumb trip that your parents talked you into. They finally convinced you by pointing out that it wouldn't be all family stuff; there would still be fun in the sun. Well four days later and this is the first moment you've had to yourself, and you're heading back to Oklahoma first thing in the morning. At least you finally made it out to the beach at the end of your last day. It's quite a sight to behold. The sun is shining at the waves are crashing onto the rocks. The only thing that could make this more perfect is the nice crisp root beer you have in your bag. You reach in and pull it out...what the!? You had packed a nice Virgils, but in your hand you know hold a bottle of Monterey Bay with a note from your aunt that reads "Thought you might like some local flavor." Well I guess that's nice of her. I mean it's still root beer, and it's a company you've never tried. You twist off the cap, lean back against a rock and take a sip. That sip is nearly "spit-taked" everywhere. There is definitely something amiss with this root beer. You take another hesitant sip. Yup, something is wrong. It tastes like someone started to brew a batch of nice old-fashioned cowboy root beer and then forgot to put in 80% of the ingredients. You can't quite place what exactly it is that it tastes like, but it definitely is an incomplete root beer. You try to make the best of it and work through the bottle, but it's just not happening. Your stupid family has gone and ruined the only good thing about your vacation by swapping out your time test root beer for this bottle of liquid garbage. It truly is the worst "root beer" you have ever tasted. Now you have no choice but to go back and start a small fire in their garbage can.