Sugar - 840 Reviews

Sour apple is played out. It always gets old quickly, is too sweet, or both. Usually both. Typically both. Fuhrman's decided to switch it up, keep the color, and change the flavor. It doesn't have that cheek puckering quality of a sour apple and although still very "candy" it's a nice change to what the kid in you is used to.

This is a small company in Pennsylvania and is mostly an apple orchard. One would hope and some of those people would assume that some of the apple goodness that are handpicked or machine picked end up in this drink, but part of me thinks that it's predominantly artificial. It doesn't make me sad as much as it makes me hopeful for the day when an apple orchard makes their own pop. Oh man, just the thought of that makes my mouth water.

Let's talk about Maroon 5 for a second. Whether or not you like them, you have to give them this; they might write some of the catchiest, more radio friendly pop rock songs ever. Good hooks, funky guitar, great rhythm section, and Adam Levine is a good singer. Real good. Although you might not like them, you have to give them that. I think that they are one of those bands that I could probably listen to any record and say to myself, "Yeah, this is a certified multi-platinum album for a reason." So, I can see why Snapple called up the Maroon 5 hotline and said, "Hey guys. Reason we called you is because while we were getting a drink from Bret Michaels, we thought that we might want to ask some people that the kids like for being good, not for winning a TV show. So what do you say, dudes?" They then had to go to the thinking lair of the Maroon 5 multi-million dollar headquarters and put together the perfect drink to put their name on.

They each picked a fruit and you know it was Adam Levine who stepped it up and thought out of the box and said that he wanted hibiscus in there. Everyone else probably had "fruit regret" because hibiscus is the secret ingredient in many drinks to push it over the top. Since they picked them, they had to stick with them, though. Snapple took these flavors, put them in a mixer, called up the hotline a week later and said, "This is great stuff, guys. I can taste everyone's flavor suggestion and can still tell that it's a black tea. It's nicely sweet and there is a nice, complex overall flavor both in initial taste and aftertaste. You've got another hit, boys!" and promptly put the drink on the shelves. Mickey Madden, the bass player with ears of gold said that he knew that he could sense that the person that made that call had gold, T-bar glasses, smoked a cigar, and was wearing a fedora when he made the call. He could hear it. Also, he could hear the reverberation coming from the call and also noted that he could tell that he was calling from a velvet-curtained room. Maroon 5 did a five person high five, sold another million records that second, and got sushi.

Although this drink may be an acquired taste, who would want to go for a second one when it tastes like this? I don't hate the San Pellegrino Chinotto and I understand that it is an Italian staple, but this is something else.

Someone recommended this to me not too long after we started the site and I never found one that wasn't in an eight pack. If it was something that wasn't questionable, I might have gotten it, but since it was called a bitter, I didn't want to splurge and get an eight pack and have seven other ones lying around never going to be drank. Drinking this makes me appreciate my decision.

This drink tastes medicinal. The flavor seems like it might want to be cherry, and if you sip the smallest sip, you might taste it, but anything larger than that you get an onslaught of a medicine you were not prescribed. Oh, it's bitter, there is no doubt about that, but what is that good for? "Oh, I love a nice, bitter drink that doesn't have a taste as much as a tongue reaction when I drink it." Who is saying that? Who wants anything overly bitter? It's like asking for something too sweet or too salty. Does this accompany anything? I'm just so confused as to the purpose of this. I'm glad it was cheap, I'm glad it came in an awesome bottle, I'm glad I'm not obligated to drink the whole thing.

"They're on to us." the CEO said. "They know what we've been doing all these years and are questioning our previous practices." "Why don't you just put something else out that will make it seem like your heart is in the right place and that you respect your customers?" said the drive through attendant who had only been working at the company for eight days and somehow managed to get a hold of the CEO of a major, multinational company. "That's a brilliant idea! What do you think we should make?" said the CEO, for the first time in a decade, with hope in his eyes. "I'm not sure. Why don't you upgrade the restaurants? Make them look a little more modern." suggested the pimpled attendant. "Eh, we've done that not too long ago. I guess we can put a little bit of lipstick on it but we need something simpler. Something approachable. Something like a menu item." suggested the CEO. "Hmm, what about a new milkshake? One with better ingredients. Some real ice cream and people love coffee with whipped cream, how about that. Oh, and get this, for the cherry on top? A cherry on top!" exclaimed the awkward teenage worker. "I love it." said the CEO. "Make one up for me and we'll see if we can use it."

The employee whipped together a strawberry milkshake, swirled in some fresh ice cream and chocolate syrup in there, put a nice, unhealthy dollop of whipped cream on top, and put a cherry on the top, as promised. "Here you go." said the employee happier than when he got a B+ on his physics test the day before. "Oh my gosh. Son, this is great. You can taste the ice cream and the classic strawberry taste and the whipped cream and cherry is really a "cost is no object" touch to it. What did you say your name was, because I'm appending the prefix "Manager" to whatever it is. What do you think about that?" beamed the CEO. "I love it, said the newly appointed manger. When do I start?" said the employee. "Right now! Take that dumb visor off and put this manager cap on. Enjoy your pay increase, your 401K, and your retirement and stock options packages. Today, you did well. Thank you for your help in saving this company with a milkshake."

Alright, I've got my beret, I've got my laptop, I've got my scarf, I'm ready to hit the cafe! Let me just start up my Vespa and hit the road. I know that it's only three blocks away, but why would I be wearing this scarf in July if I couldn't ride my sweet hog? You feel me? Alright, here I am, at the cafe. I'm ready to buy a small coffee and sit and work for two hours, taking up as much space as possible and not letting paying patrons sit down, regardless if they have kids or not. I simply can't work at home. My stupid roommate will not stop listening to the first Mr. Bungle LP. It was funny the first time, but he's been listening to it for two months straight and I can't take it anymore. Look, I like Mike Patton as much as the next guy, but come on give me a break.

What? I can't sit here and play games on my computer? I bought a small coffee. I know it's been gone for two hours, but I am a paying customer. It's not my fault that there is a line of people that want to sit here and I've got my bag on one chair, my helmet on another chair, and my scarf on another chair. I need my space, sir. Fine, I'll get something else. I've have your titular strawberry smoothie.

Thank you. May I sit here now? Thank you, and because you are so nice, I will move my scarf and allow one person to sit. This smoothie is good. It's just like a strawberry yogurt but thinner and a bit chalkier, but not bad. It's not too sweet and there's no fun seeds or anything. It's almost more like a GoGurt than a yogurt. Sir, did you empty a GoGurt into this cup? You didn't? Alright, thank you. Oh wait, you did? I appreciate your honesty. To reward you, I will move my helmet and let another patron sit down.

Son, come here. I want to show you something. Marky, you've done a wonderful job on my lawn. I want to reward you. I know I don't say it a lot, but you're a good kid. I've thought long and hard about it and I want to give you this, a bottle of Deerfield Trading Company cream soda. I know it's not much but...what? Marky, what did you say to me? Yes, it's new. Yes, I did get it at Walgreen's. No I didn't pick it up today, I picked it up yesterday. Yes, it was under two dollars.

Marky, you are an ungrateful brat. All I asked you to do is pull up the weeds in my garden, till the soil, mulch, trim the hedges, cut back the rose bushes, mow the lawn, weed whack and edge the entire yard, prune the trees, water the lawn, wash the dog, get the mail, paint the house, fix the sink, get me a Whopper, make some soup, get my prescription, judge a pie eating contest, milk the cows, take my shirts to the cleaners, put air in my bike tires, put air in my car tires, put air in my tractor tires, and put air in my pool floaties. I was going to pay you twenty dollars American. American, Marky! Now I up the ante and give you this potentially delicious cream soda and this is how you treat me? Just take it.

It's good isn't it? Eh?! Eh?! What's wrong with it?! It does taste a little thick and the vanilla does come on a bit strong. Strange, Marky, but yes, burps taste a bit strange. Marky, I'm sorry. Perhaps this wasn't the "thank you" gift you deserved. A simple "thank you" would suffice, though. Oh, well that's sweet of you to say. Now get back to work. I noticed some things on that list that aren't done.

Do you remember when your parents used to take you to McDonald's and it was an event? I do. I remember the sights and sounds and smells of it. I don't know if it's because we didn't really ever go or because the whole family would get in the car and we'd drive there and go together. Hamburger, cheeseburger, or McNugget. That's all we would get. Their menu now is very elaborate but their staples, albeit terribly unhealthy now that we know what "good food" is, are still there and still guiltily delicious once every six months.

That's about the frequency that I go to McDonald's. Once every six months. Yeah, sometimes I go through the drive through to get a sweet tea, but that's not really considered a trip.

Today my girlfriend and I went to get some nuggets and we decided to try their McCafe shakes. We got a strawberry (review coming soon) and a chocolate (where you are now). It's simple; take a regular McDonald's shake, whip in some whipped cream, add more whipped cream, and put a cherry on top. It tastes more like a frozen yogurt or a half melted ice cream than a shake. McDonald's has this thing where they make the shakes so hard to get through a straw that by the time you are finished with one, your cheeks look like they've been put through as much stress as Louie Armstrong's did in his entire career. It was very creamy and not too sweet and the additional whipped cream made it even smoother once you drank half of it and everything kind of mixed together.

It is a nice alternative to a classic shake and although it could never replace the standard, it isn't that far from it where it feel like cheating, like if you were dating a sister and she had a twin and you kissed on her a little bit. It's close enough that no one can blame you. That's how it works, right?

My brother went to Germany for school. He's working on becoming a mechanical engineer, which seems like an awesome profession. I guess any profession is awesome if you can do what you want with it. It's almost the same thing as saying, "Hey, being a garbage man is great if you don't have to actually pick up other people's trash every day of your life."

Obviously I have to give credit where credit is due and Germany, this bottle rules. It's a Grolsch bottle and that makes even the worst drink better in my eyes. This drink is different. I feel like there is a national tongue to it because it is a taste I am unfamiliar with. It's half floral and half almost like a green apple. It's also one of the most carbonated drinks I've ever had, where the fizz seems to last a long time. The flavor itself lasts a limited time and leaves you with a pretty clean taste, much like the taste of a fresh mouth. Strange, I know, but imagine using unflavored mouthwash and then having a scientist bottle the results of that. That is kind of like how it tastes. Maybe with more apple taste. It's a quick, light flavor that I have gotten used to since I've been drinking this bottle and although it dissipates quickly, when it's there, it's pretty nice.

I am hoping that this revolutionary bottle will allow me to reseal it and put it back in the fridge because I cannot even share this much pop with other people. Here's to that.

I finally got my big break. I got cast as Oscar Wilde in the Hollywood blockbuster "Goin' Wilde." I don't understand why the writer felt the need to create of a story where Oscar Wilde and Gene Wilder are college roommates, but really who am I to complain. I heard that Mel Brooks was even going to have a cameo. This is truly exciting.

I feel I must get into my role. No Labatt or Budweiser for me tonight. I guess I'll try the Rosehip drink. That sounds like something good ol' Oscar would drink. Okay bartender, your job is to serve me my drink not to criticize me for my choice of drink. I am an actor! I must become my role!

Hmm this doesn't taste at all flowery like I expected. It actually kind of tastes like a watered down acai juice, but it's still thick. If the flavor was stronger I would think it was a concentrate, but as it is if I added water it wouldn't taste like anything. It's decent, but not something I would expect to drink in a bar. I would probably drink this with breakfast. What's that barkeep? Oscar Wilde was a drunk? I never knew! What was his drink of choice? Absinthe? Oh looks like I'm in for a "Wilde" night. I know it was a stupid joke. Now let me drink in peace. Go clean some glasses or something.

This is my last coffee drink for a while. Three of them were given to me by my one handed boss and I got my fix and they were all good but I don't drink them often and I have a lot of self-conscience issues with my breath smelling. I don't think that it does but I've had a boss that drank a lot of coffee and their breath smelled like they ate a crap sandwich. I can't have that happen to me. I'm charming and I don't want to be charming and have pooh breath.

When I was a lad, I used to take tae-kwon-do. I may have mentioned it before but I don't care. I'll say it again. I used to take tae-kwon-do. We used to make coffee with the complimentary coffee the main dude put in the waiting room for parents who were waiting for their kids to be done punching, kicking, and to a way lesser extent, breaking boards. We would make an eight-ounce cup and put about eleven sugars in it. It really smoothed it out, and for a kid, it was drinkable because no thirteen-year-old kid should be drinking coffee. This drink tastes like that. There is a real, roasted coffee undertone and it's smoothed out with milk and sugar. I don't know how cappuccino it tastes, but it's a pretty standard coffee taste to me. Nothing special.

I honestly craved some cocoa in here. That might make it awesome. Maybe I'll look for a mocha version of this. For now, I'll give it an "eh" rating. Nothing says "Hey, how's that drink you've got? It looks good." like "Eh." Flattering.

Did you know that the only things that vegans consume are leaves and bark? It's true, just ask Derek. When a vegan works up a hunger they scamper out into the woods and fill up their satchel with some nice leaves and bark. Then they bring them home and make a nice sandwich out of them. Don't worry they aren't murderers; they only eat the leaves on the ground and the bark from fallen or dead trees.

Okay that may have been stretching the truth, but I have had basically that conversation verbatim with a woman in a restaurant before. She really believed everything I mentioned above to be true. Some people are just complete idiots.

While vegans don't solely consume those things, there are people out there who eat sticks. I know because all three of us here at Thirsty Dudes did just that a couple of weeks ago. We were in a local natural foods store and on the counter they had a jar of licorice sticks. They were exactly that: sticks from a licorice plant. We were interested. We each bought one and chewed on them for about a half hour. It was actually tasty until they started falling apart in our mouths.

This tea tastes like someone brewed some black tea, added a whole lot of milk and sugar and then drank it while chewing on one of those sticks. There are a whole bunch of other herbs in it as well, but all I can taste in the licorice and I like it....a lot.

Thirsty Dude's don't drink alcohol. That doesn't mean that we don't appreciate quality packaging of alcoholic packages. Us straight edge kids finally have our own version of a Saporro can. This can is unbreakable. It has nothing to do with the drink itself, but good packaging deserves mentioning and this can is heavy duty, brother. Now that aesthetics are out of the way, we can get to flava.

It's a coffee drink, so you can expect it to taste like coffee. No-brainer. This is more of a French vanilla Starbucks Frappuccino-esque flavor but less chocolate milk and more coffee. It doesn't have that strong roast flavor that some other coffee drinks have. I liked it, and I, for the millionth time, and not a coffee drinker. If you like cold coffee drinks,
Last week's drink was probably more up your alley. This drink is accessible to more people.

That can though. Bomb shelters could be made out of these. American cans aren't made to the same specs of international canned beverages and every time I lifted it to look at the can, I thought there was more in it. I'm a stupid idiot because there were several times where I went to drink more. I'm like a bird flying into a clean window over and over again. I've got to throw this can out or I'm going to keep doing it.

Esteemed members of the board I'm here today to present to you the newest in our line of energy drinks. Are you tired of the same garbage companies have been flooding the market with for years? Yes, the world gets in energy drinks typically taste like liquid Smarties. I think people want something new, something that will shake things up a little bit. It was that thought process that led me to creating this. Ladies and Gentlemen of the board I am proud to unveil our new line of energy drinks "High Energy Drink" or HED for short. The kids like shorter names. I think it has something to do with the internet and television rotting their brains. As I pour you each a can let me explain to you that this "isn't your dad's energy drink." This is new and exciting. It's an energy drink that has the light taste of berry ginger ale. We're also going to advertise that it's made with taurine. That should excite the kids. Now if everyone would drink up and write one sentence on the 3x5 card that's in front of you with your opinions on the drink, I'd love to get some anonymous feedback.

Okay everyone's done and the cards are in. Let's see what you thought. These all basically say the same thing. While this tastes pretty good it doesn't taste like ginger ale at all, and what it does taste like is a fairly standard liquid candy energy drink taste with a slight berry flavor. Also, a couple of you wrote that I'm an idiot and that 99% of all energy drinks are made with taurine. Thanks for crushing my dreams guys. I just wanted to make something new and exciting and you've gone and ruined it for me. Too bad this has already gone into production and I can't tweak the recipe. Well I guess I better re-enroll in clown college.

I woke up today knowing that I desired a ginger beer. I don't know why, but I saw it on the shelf and said to myself that I hoped this burned my throat. It's such a little bottle. I just knew that it was some sort of concentrated danger. The whole "big things come in small packages" cliche.

I took my first sip and there it was. Burn. If I had to rate the burn on some sort of made up scale, I would say that it has a medium burn. It kicks you in the tonsils but playfully, like when a dog bites you and you can feel their dog teeth but they don't chomp down, making you lose some of your precious digits.

In the case of ginger beer, most of the time I want to battle with non-playful sharks and I just want straight rusty razor blades rushing down my throat, but this is nice, too.

Good morning, Ames, Iowa. We're coming to you live from this rented chopper we borrowed from the local high school. Er, I mean hospital. As you can see, traffic is moving pretty well through the highway. We had to get up mighty early to get this helicopter for you and I haven't had my coffee yet so I apologize for any mistakes that I might make on air. My cameraman, Joe, is handing me a can. Joe, what is this? This isn't coffee. It is? This is bad TV, I know, but I really need drink...what is this? It's not in English. Oh, turn it around? Oh, Freeze Extra, huh? Well, down the hatch, right, Ames?

This is great, Joe. Where did you get this? What are you doing at an Asian market? Oh, sure, buying udon. Why else would you go there? Ames, Joe here loves his udon noodles and he eats it every day at lunch. He's even got those cool, ceramic spoons and eats it out of a wooden bowl. Are you Asian, Joe? Irish? Well we seem to have gotten our wires crossed. The milk really smoothes down this coffee. It's like the coffee I get from the coffee shop but cold. I like it. Joe, Ames, Iowa, you have a wonderful day. You down there is the gorgeous new Hyundai Veloster who almost hit that semi, I know you can't hear me but be careful with that thing.

Joe, we've really got to get a helicopter for the station. This thing is great. Oh, we've been off the air for ten minutes? Who cares? It's awesome up here.

The first time I ever heard of Ikea was in the following context: "And I wasn't the only slave to my nesting instinct. The people I know who used to sit in the bathroom with pornography, now they sit in the bathroom with their IKEA furniture catalog." That's right, Fight Club introduced me to Ikea. Those two sentences left me with no interest whatsoever to look into this company further. I thought it was some yuppy upscale mail order Sky Mall type scenario. Cut to several years later and I'm helping a friend move to Brooklyn. We get her minimal possessions loaded into her new apartment and then we drive to New Jersey so she can buy some stuff from Ikea. The quote from Fight Club suddenly made perfect sense. It's like a giant toy/candy store for adults. There was some neat stuff, but I had no need for it. Now cut to nearly a decade later and here I am with an apartment full of Swedish bookshelves. I gave in. They make some decent furniture and it's affordable. I'm not getting off over a catalog, but I know some people that would.

Is there a point to this? Not really, I just wanted to tie in Fight Club with this, because it's still my first thought whenever someone mentions the store. I went to Canada last weekend to get some shelving units and picked up a couple of their drinks. This one is sparkling apple juice. It tastes like a slightly lighter version of the sparkling apple juice that us non-drinkers buy for New Years Eve. It's a very specific taste that normal apple juice and cider doesn't have. I like it. It's sweeter and slightly fermented tasting. A carbonated version of what my grandpa would slip me a sip of when I was a kid.

I typically don't drink energy drinks. It's because I have something against them. You thought I was going to say something clichè like "It's not like I have anything against them..." and have some other excuse, I do and the reason is that they typically taste like sweet garbage. You heard me, sweet garbage.

My mom went to the grocery store and, once again, ran into some promoter of drinks, dropped my name, and got free stuff. I don't know what she's telling people, but I hope that she embellishes a little bit because "My son is a thirsty dude." doesn't really work, or at least I think "My son runs an award winning website where he and other highly paid and equally handsome business associates decide the fate of drinks and their manufacturers." sounds a whole lot more convincing. My God, I hope that we don't run a company out of business. I don't think that even the worst reviewed drink company deserves that.

Wave, hopefully not taking their name from the most annoying in event group participation activities because as awesome as it looks when everyone does it, only six people out of 25,000 do it and it looks like some creeper grabbed the butt of six people, doesn't taste bad. I know; an accomplishment in itself. It's fruity and although tastes like an energy drink at the end of the day, it could be way worse. I made it probably three quarters through the can, and that's saying a lot because I don't really drink energy drinks at all. That will not count against their final score. Let it be known.

I might actually recommend this drink as an alternative to Red Bull because I feel like they've become complacent in their standing of being the staple energy drink and a lot of other companies have come out since them and stepped up the game. If you are a fan of energy drinks, try this. I think you'll like it.

If I had to choose the number one achievement of the South I think I would have to choose sweet tea. Sure they gave us submarines, miniature golf and antibiotics, but do any of those really hold a candle to sweet tea? It's so refreshing and tasty.

Even though Tradewinds has a tropical ocean scene on their can they make a decent sweet tea. With every sip I feel like I'm sitting in a rocking chair on my front porch and kudzu is growing all over my property. I have an old yellow dog laying next to me, and a 12-gauge shotgun sitting across my lap. It's the southern dream, and this tea brought it all on. Of course people who are from the south whose grandmothers made sweet tea all the time will probably say it tastes all wrong. I wouldn't believe them. Tell them to invent something more important than beverages.

It had been a long day in the studio. Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band we're hard at work recording their "come back" album The Rising. Today had been particularly hard. The Boss was being a real taskmaster and was laying it really heavy on Little Steven. You see all of the music was done being tracked, and now they were working on vocals. Being the professional he is Bruce hit all his parts in one take. When I say one take I mean it. He sang all 15 songs in a row with no breaks, one time through. He didn't even wait for the Brendan O'Brien to load the next track. It sang them all a cappella while the tape ran. It was truly a sight to behold. After he was done and the tracks had been added to the proper song is when the problems started. Little Steven went into the booth to sing his harmonies and he just couldn't hit them because of a dry throat. Bruce just kept telling him to drink some water, but Steven protested. You see he was under contract with HBO for his work in The Sopranos. Part of that contract was that he could only imbibe Sopranos brand soda. Normally he would sneak water and no one would be the wiser, but in the studio they were filming everything for a documentary. He would obviously get caught and sued. Things got so bad that Clarence had to drive all the way out to Newbridge, NJ to pick him up a couple of bottles. Since the show was wrapping up production of the soda had stopped and all the store had left was the amaretto flavor. Little Steven downed a bottle of this strange fake liquor soda with its almond flavoring that is far too strong to seem natural in a soda. Seriously I feel like it's supposed to be mixed with something like the actual liquor. Little Steven loves almonds and it was still hard for him to get through an entire bottle, but he is a champ and he did it. He then marched right into that vocal booth and I'll be damned if he didn't give one of the best performances of his life.

You don't believe me? Watch the video footage it's all in there.

PS. Tony totally dies at the end of the series. I don't care what anyone else says. The screen goes blank like when he got shot before, except this time the music cuts dead instead of fading out. Deal with it.

Every review we've done for the Lipton PureLeaf line all say basically the same thing: Brisk is absolutely terrible, but Lipton has redeemed themselves with this line. It's repetitive, but true. The Brisk peach tea is basically undrinkable in my eyes. This on the other hand is very nice. I think there could be a tad less sugar, but other than that it's great. It's a nice black tea flavor with a slightly overpowered by an authentic peach taste. There is no peaches listed in the ingredients, but I expect they fall somewhere under the natural flavors. Above that apple juice is listed. Why aren't there more apple teas? That would be great. Get on that Lipton, but make sure it's included in this line.