Sugar - 840 Reviews

How many times have you spent your lunch hour alone in an near abandoned city mall, eating a bag of black licorice jelly beans, slowly burning up your taste buds? If you say more than nonce, then I have the perfect product for you. Rocket Fizz black licorice pop. Now, you no longer have to look like that strange kid in school that eats black jellybeans. You never understood them and they never understood you anyhow. If you like the taste of black licorice, then you know the way to succeed, otherwise, you know the way to suck eggs. Now, whenever your desire for more than ten but less than twenty ounces of pure, unfiltered, ungelatinous, pleasure arises, you know where to go.

For those of you that think that only crazy people enjoy the taste of black licorice, Dillinger Escape Plan wrote a song called Black Bubblegum and no research and full assumption points to the truth that a product such as that would taste like black licorice. Skinny Puppy's Too Dark Park was written not only about crazy Canadian animal rights, but titled after the place with Ogre and cEvin Key used to go to avoid adolescent persecution and eat jellybeans which were “too dark” for the rest of the kids.

How does it taste? Well friends, I'll tell you. The smell is as familiar as the darkest Halloween night and the taste is much like that, but lighter. More of an early morning, November 1st taste. Now that you know it exists, I would expect it to fly off the shelves. It's the perfect drink from at any time from last fall to early spring. The perfect time to quench your darkest, most depressed thirst.

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We originally reviewed this for a Halloween drink article we did for Auxiliary Magazine. To read the full article and to check out the awesome magazine go to
auxiliarymagazine.com.

You know Max, right? He's been a real jerk lately. Let's pull a prank on him. Yeah, he has been a jerk, Charlie. He put all those thumbtacks on your chair last week. Who does that? Hasn't he heard of tetanus? I don't want that. We've got to get back at him, but with what? Oh, I've got it. Go grab that tea over there, I've got a great idea. There isn't enough to fill this bottle. This prank is going to rule. Now, take those Fritos, crush them up and put them in this washcloth. I'll show you. I've got this water. I'm going to pour water on the corn chips to kind of give the tea an "essence" of corn chip but with none of the grit so he can't tell. Oh man, it smells like corn chips but you'd never know what we did just by looking at it. Quick, put one pinch of sugar in there so it keeps him coming back.

This will teach him. He'll never play another practical joke on us again.

Here in Buffalo, we have an event called "Italian Festival." One street, one week, everyone is Italian. Like St. Patrick's day where "everyone is Irish" type thing. The air is filled with the smell of onions and sausage and every other stand sells "Buffalo's Best Cannoli" which is probably a made up term since, and I could be wrong, there is no committee of people going around, charting and graphing the stats behind one city's cannoli.

Since I don't care about anything, including the festival I actually went to, I went to an Indian bodega to see if they had any strange or different drinks. I left with this drink, which isn't from India at all, but from Turkey. Whatever. Who cares, right?

It took me about three months to actually open this carton but when I saw "rosehip nectar", I had to spring into action and slap $2 down and buy it. I've got a pretty good track record when it comes to nectar and although some aren't my favorite, I understand and appreciate their role in the juice family.

This was thin as far as nectars go. I'm not too familiar with the rosehip, but I am familiar enough with nectars to expect more seeds and/or less viscosity. This was seedless and free to flow. I especially noticed how thin it was when my girlfriend cleaned the house and dropped my glass with it inside and I got a very close and intimate inspection of it running under the couch. It was a light flavor that was different that any fruit I have had, but if I had to say it was like anything, I might say that it is half cherry, half watered down and bitterless cranberry juice. It was good and I don't know why they don't make more drinks here the these United States using the...whatever rosehip is.

That little Sobe lizard has gone a long way. When they first popped up in the mid to late 90's I was a fan, but I never expected them to stay around very long. I worked in a grocery store and one of my jobs was to return items that people decided they didn't want, or returned to the shelves. The number of bottles of Sobe that I had to put back was a bit ridiculous. The number of Sobe bottles that I took into the back room and drank instead of putting them back on the shelves likes I was supposed to was also pretty ridiculous. On a similar note, one day I took a bottle of each kind of BBQ sauce we carried and took them to my secret area of the back room (where I knew there were no cameras) and tried them all to discover what brand it was that a local taco chain used on a limited burrito they had. Sadly it was none of the 20+ I tried and the possibly slow kid that took my money in exchange for tacos refused to tell me. I should probably find him and throw a water balloon full of BBQ sauce at him.

Now that I have been thoroughly sidetracked by my looting and burrito intake, back to the point. No one seemed to want Sobe. I loved it. It was a quasi energy drink / Gatorade. Since then they have tweaked their flavors and gone off into other worlds of beverages. With their Lifewater line I believe they have something that the masses will enjoy. It of course is in the vein of other vitamin enhanced water/sports drinks out there, but it has a bit more flavor. The more flavor it has the further it gets away from being a "water" drink in my eyes, but who am I to complain? Oh yeah, I am a professional drinkologist.

The orange tangerine flavor we have here unsurprisingly reminds me of Tang. This may be the future of space drinks. It's chock full of vitamins and minerals that every astronaut needs in his or her daily space life. I'd also like to point out that they did a good job of lowering the sugar, without compromising flavor by cutting it with erythritol. Now we just need a proper space BBQ shop and I can get a job on a space station and then loot it.

When I bought this I had no idea what The Amazing Race was. I was then informed that it was some sort of reality television show. I need not know more to know that I was certainly not interested. I don't know the premise, and I don't really want to know. I will just assume that it is a giant race where teams have to go around the world and harvest ingredients to make special and unique teas. In the past some of the entrees were haggis-pickled avocado, tripe-kale, and calamari-poutine. Needless to say none of those were winners. The contestants were actually publicly ridiculed and a series of brutal pranks were played on them and their love ones for another spin off reality show "So You Suck at Making Iced Tea."

Apparently the winner of last season was India. I don't know if it was the entire country of India, or if it was someone's name. I can only assume the entire country of India brainstormed and came up with this wonderful tea. It's a dark sweet tea (nearly too sweet). It's like a classic mango tea with some exotic fruit and spices (there aren't any added, but it tastes subtly like their is). For a limited time specialty tea this is pretty incredible. Snapple has stepped up their game from the 90's in a big way.

Whoppers, the candy the world loves to hate. You know they are gross, but when they are put in front of you, at least one needs to be tasted. It could happen once a week and I would still try them and then think to myself "oh yeah these things are gross." What is this strange power the Hershey company holds over us? Have the Pennsylvanian candy billionaires delved into the black arts? Are malt balls summoned demons in candy form? They sure taste that way. If it's true then this is those self same demons in soda pop form. This tastes like someone took a mild ginger beer and dissolved a whole bunch of the centers of whoppers in it. I don't like it, but I keep sipping on it for some reason. The demons have me in their grip.

Oh a non-demonic note I feel like this is what a lot of fancier beers tastes like as a base. I bet someone who was into that sort of thing would really be into this. I could be completely wrong, but that's how I feel and I demand you respect my emotions!

Your grandma rules. Make her cookies for once. Every time you go over there, she's up to something. Something delicious, not something maniacal. You're grandma who is capable of every baked good imaginable is not capable of even the slightest evil. You want cookies? Don't worry because she has some in the freezer that she made yesterday and if that's not good enough for you, you brat, she does have two different types in the oven as we speak. She also makes the best spaghetti, regardless of her heritage, known to man.

There is always some sort of pie there. Typically it's a cherry or an apple pie, complete with those nice, woven tops like you see in movies and in print. She doesn't do those lazy flat, plain tops with a couple holes so you know what kind of garbage pie it is. You grandma deal with quality. Your grandma is the Rolls Royce of cooking and baking. When it comes time to fall, she makes pumpkin pie and it's obviously delicious. She nails it every time and has never made a bad pie in her life. Upstate Farms has hired your grandma at a reasonable rate to spill her secrets into a plastic container because this stuff tastes like pumpkin pie and I'm not exaggerating. There are even little spice specs, a term I just coined that if anyone uses henceforth they owe me royalties, inside of the drink. It's delicious.

Throw your forks in the garbage, kiss your grandma on the cheek, and go get this. It's a limited time thing that might only be available in Upstate New York. Wash your forks and put them back in the silverware drawer. I don't know why I told you to throw your forks in the garbage. You don't need them for a drink, is what I was getting across. Then I tried to get you to help your grandma out because she already made you a large meal. There is no reason she should be doing your dishes, too, you ingrate.

Chubby. Previously you have ducked pretty hard. I'm not going to lie. You sucked. It's not my place to hold back my punches. Pineapple, or Pineapple Sunshine, a delightful term that inspires me to do something. Oh, I suppose you want to know what that something is, right? I'll tell you. Every morning, I would like to have some pineapple. An expensive, non-seasonal delight that probably wouldn't last one week so I will quit before it even starts.

Chubby, a hilarious term for a dong, you have something left after this pop. It's not terrible. It's not the best I've had, but I never expected it to be e as alright as it was. It tasted like good pineapple candy. It wasn't syrupy and wasn't too sweet. It was also like $0.50

Snapple going all-natural was a wonderful thing to see in my lifetime. To be able to enjoy their teas and juices again was like being reunited with family from the other side of town. A town that had a giant wall running down it. That's right, to my stomach the removal of corn syrup from their drinks was like the wall being torn down in Berlin (side note: corn syrup completely destroys my stomach for some reason).

My main complaint about this drink isn't even a complaint at all. It's merely confusion. The third ingredient listed is kiwi juice, yet it's not in the name of the drink. Using actual kiwi juice is a big deal people. Most kiwi flavored things are artificial and gross. When you have the real deal in product you should flaunt it. I dare say that this actually tastes more like kiwi than mango. They could have named it something terrible like "Krazy Kiwi Mango Madness." Of course that would make me never want to buy a bottle. Maybe Mango Madness was the right title, but underneath it they should have wrote something about the kiwi in there. "A Ki-winning Combination." And that is why I do not write ads.

This past week, I saw the band Minus The Bear. They were wonderful and the headliner, The Velvet Teen, was also pretty impressive. They were like an early 2000's indie-rock/math-rock band meets Mutemath. Anyhow, reason I bring up Minus The Bear is that they are from Seattle, so I'm sure they know a thing or two about good coffee. Me personally, I don't know anything about any coffee, only what I hear from other people. Since everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, I don't even take that with a ton of weight. Also, I like to form my own opinion so here goes.

With little if any investigation of the coffee of Seattle, I feel that I can safely say that this is not Seattle's Best Coffee. I am not saying that this is bad, because it's actually quite good. It's got a light, foamy latte flavor and the vanilla definitely cuts the coffee taste. Between the vanilla and the sugar, you've got a nice coffee drink that's suitable for many occasions. Not "high tea" but basically any other occasion.

Now back to the competition that this company started when it named it's company "[Location]'s Best [Item]". That's a ballsy move; I've got to say. Now it's printed on cans and bottles and bags and people are going to read it and just assume that it is, in fact, Seattle's Best Coffee. I am sure that people who work for the company probably sneak out at 3am, travel through the seemingly endless rain while listening to either "Bleach", "Ten", or "This Is What I Know About Being Gigantic" and go to another coffee place they think is better than their own.

Bands from Seattle, voice your opinions. I've going to need some indigenous opinions on what was said here.

It's been awhile since I've had an aloe drink. I didn't realize how much I missed them until I started drinking this bottle of Paldo. No matter what flavor they are they all have such a specific underlying flavor. It's almost a white grape flavor, but it's slightly crisper. So this tastes like a crisp white grape and mango hybrid. If it was a juice it would be great on it's own, but when you add the aloe chunks into the mix things get even better. Paldo uses smaller chunks than other companies, but they make up for it in flavor.

Ever since Vitamin Water came on the scene tons of companies have popped up with their own versions. They all refer to them as water drinks. Let's call them what they are people; they are sports/revitalization drinks. This is closer to a Gatorade than it is a glass of water. I feel like as soon as you add a sweetener to water that it no longer can be considered water. If this is a water drink than so is a bottle of Coke. Both are over 50% water, but really come on.

Now that I have that rant out of the way, the drink is pretty great. I don't know why they put erythritol in here along with normal sugar, but luckily you can't taste it at all. Maybe that is the secret that drinks need. There are only 9g of sugar in this, but it tastes just as strong as it's competitors. The main flavor is definitely grape, but there is some berry flavor mixed in there as well.

Come on, people. You haven't had this? I don't know how we haven't had it yet. We've been spending all our days drinking Black Mushroom sludge and enough Energy drinks to fuel the most depressed, tired country. So why the wait? We probably went to the store as individual, thirsty dudes, saw lemon Snapple, and though, "Oh yeah, someone already did this. Next." and moved right on down the line? You didn't come here for that, though. You came here for a review so here goes.

It's good. Now that they've replaced their lines with all natural product, every tastes better. You can taste the black tea, the sugar, the lemon and everything together is actually great. This is a wonderful lemon tea. Great balance, great price, great taste, and so on. Snapple, you've been in the game a long time and I would be upset that you couldn't have gotten it right in that amount of time.

A month ago I went to a show in Boston. It's a town I've always wanted to visit but never had the chance to until now. My friend Cory, who runs the blog Tokyo Hipster, lives there and suggested I check out Leo's Place because they had a good selection of root beer. He was definitely right. Their selection was pretty awesome for a hole in the wall diner. I wish I had more money at the time because there were a lot that I had never seen before.

I went for this one because it looked the most "small brew" of the bunch. I figured it would be the hardest to find this one again. I really was right because I can't even find a website for this company. I also was hoping that since it was a small company that it would be really interesting and stand out among the others. Sadly, this was not the case. It was a good root beer, but nothing to write home about. It didn't have much bite to it, nor any crazy flavors or aftertastes. It was just a simple root beer. Maybe that's what they were going for. If that's the case, job well done!

Hey Frankie, I thought I told you to pick me up an energy drink? This thing don't taste like no energy drink I ever had. It taste like a more juicy soda pop. You know with like fruit and junk in it. What do you mean does it have taurine in it? What am I some kind of ingredientologist? Fine I'll read the stupid can. Yeah it's got that "t" stuff in it. Sounds like something to do with a bull. Is that what gives Red Bull it's kick? Wait this isn't bull testicles is it? If it is and this is some kind of joke I'm going to box your ears. Okay, okay I believe you. This stuff still doesn't taste like an energy drink though. It tastes like a fancy orange juice with bubbles in it. Tangerines you say? Well ooolala Mr. Fancy Pants Frenchman. Now shut your mouth and help me rip up this carpet.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again; I'm extremely jealous of young kids these days for their juice box options. When I was a kid our choices were Ssips, Hi-C and Minute Maid. I never complained. I loved what I had at the time, but now that I see what the world has to offer I feel cheated. Maybe it's because I grew up in white-bred suburbia, but I keep running into exotic juice boxes these days. What kid wouldn't love a mango juice box? It's so sweet and thick. Think of the awesome treats it could bring in through lunchroom trades. When you've finished remember to unglue the flaps, blow it up with air and stomp on it so it explodes and the straw shoots across the room. That is the true joy of the juice box.

On a recent trip to Korea, you realize that in Asia, things are different. You had to travel all the way around the world to know that things on the other side of the world are different. You have eaten with chopsticks and all you can think of is that Jerry Seinfeld bit about using shovels and not using chopsticks. You haven't exactly mastered them but you're working on it and that's good enough for you. You have drank fish face juice, cow leg milk, and even chicken sauce which you thought was a drink but was actually a legitimate sauce for chicken and not made from chicken. That one was a mistake. You don't blame anyone but yourself for that blem.

You wander into yet another small shop on a nice Tuesday night and you come across this can. It's in English and at this point, you will drink anything you can read the ingredients for. You pay whatever the equivalent of one American dollar is in Korean currency and head out to walk the streets of the city, maybe pet a horse, maybe eat some meats of sticks, maybe both. You open the can, take a sip, and sigh in relief that there aren't any chunks or eyeballs or cow feet in it. You are later excited because you actually like it. It's a light black tea, sweetened with sugar. Just like mama back home would have made. No funny business in this can. All serious work. Suit and tie stuff. It's good and also has a little citrus taste to it. A nice twist.

For the first time in many moons you are quenched and can go to sleep not dreaming of something drinkable like you had back home. Tomorrow will be another day in Korea and you may or may not drink something gross. If you do, you now know what you can use to wash down your pig knee soup.

I am a licorice addict (except black licorice, it's some of the worst crap ever) . Seriously it's sad. If I open a bag it has to be taken away from me or I will consume it all in one sitting without even thinking about it, and I'm talking those huge bags of Twizzlers. Recently I've moved onto bigger and better things with Australian licorice. Now that is some good stuff. When I opened our package from Rocket Fizz and saw this bottle of red licorice soda I will admit I sort of lost my mind (I threw that black licorice one in Mike's pile, he can drink that swill and lie to you and say it was great).

So yes, I am an addict. I love licorice more than most foods. I had incredible expectations for this drink. Sadly Rocket Fizz did not follow through, and I mean very sadly. I thought I had found my new favorite pop. It smells almost right. By that I mean it smells like red licorice, but not as strong as Twizzlers. I was still extremely excited. I took a sip and noticed that while it's in your mouth it doesn't really taste like much. I took another sip and it has a very light "red pop" flavor. It's when you swallow that the actual flavor hits you. It's vaguely licorice tasting, but it's more of the cheap knock of brand licorice that you would find at a discount store.

Did I expect too much? Probably. Could Rocket Fizz have made a better soda? Definitely. It's by no means terrible. It's a decent fruity soda, but it didn't deliver what I wanted and that is saddening. I just really wish it was a lot stronger tasting.

Oh and to those of you who say that it's not real licorice unless it's black licorice, I will never understand your taste buds. I'd rather eat dirt. That's right dirt with worms in it!

I don't know where I got this. I know why I got it, though. Answer; because it was there. This is not a fantastic representation of mocha cappuccino. I promise to you that if you're looking for a "quality" drink, you won't find it constrained within the glass walls of this bottle. It's terrible fake tasting like they had some chocolate milk, cut it in half, poured bad instant, powder mocha cappuccino into to it, skipped all the "red tape" one would need to put out something legit and pushed it right to market. I probably got this on sale. The same people also make these chocolate milks that just tasted unpure.

Look. I enjoy a nice, sweet garbage drink. Give me a Nesquik in those gargantuan thirty-two ounce bottles and I will use all the strength inside of me to not Gregory House the whole thing. This is half that size and I'm going to probably have no choice but to dump half of that. Strong percentages. Weak drink. I don't know why a company called "North American Beverage" would market a drink called Havana. I do appreciate, slightly, that illustration of the most 80's bottle I've ever seen. It looks like it should be on the wall of a victim's house in Miami Vice. I felt like I should have been wearing a Panama hat and a Panama Jack shirt that I would have had to scour multiple Salvation Army's to find just to fully appreciate this drink. Since I'm wearing a fifteen-year-old hoodie that is ill fitting, this drink did not deliver.

You with the aluminum can
don't be discouraged
oh I realize
it's hard to stand out
in a world full energy drinks
you can lose sight of it all
and the taste inside you
can make you seem so bland

But I see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why no one loves you
so be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are generic
like a Red Bull

Show me a can then
don't be unhappy, can't remember
when I last saw you tasting 'original'
if this world makes you thirsty
and you've drank all you can bear
you call me up
because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why no one loves you
so be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are generic
like a Red Bull