Mike Literman

Mike Literman - 1759 Reviews

Mike loves new drinks. He's drank some gross stuff in his day, and this blog is making him drink even more against his will. That being said, he wouldn't trade it in for the world. He loves new beverages and is always, and always will be, on a quest for something new.

Arizona Green Tea Cucumber with Citrus

Arizona  Green Tea Cucumber with Citrus
Well well. Look at this little guy. Sitting here all full of cucumber. What a nice surprise to see something Arizona put out that I was unaware of. Sure, I might not have my ear as close to the ground as I used to but I was caught off guard and didn't think for a second that I wasn't going to get it.

Let's get down to brass tacks. How is she? She's a lot less sweet than Arizona tried and true green tea. That's for truth. There is a very strong scent of cucumber and an equally strong taste. I'm not going to say overpowering but if you're on the fence about cucumbers, this is not the drink for you. There is a commitment issueless amount of cucumber flavor going on within the confides of this can and I know something about commitment issues. I dated my live-in girlfriend for eight years before I ask her to marry me.

I might have drank half of this can. The whole thing is far too much for me. There isn't anything wrong with it but the whole can I feel is a bit gluttonous. You've done a fine thing here, Arizona. Don't take the half I'm going to dump into the sink as an insult. I'm a little under the weather and cannot share the remainder of this.
Rating
🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃
Categories
Iced Tea
Company
Arizona Website@DrinkAriZona
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Author
Mike Literman on 8/14/17, 12:37 PM
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The Maple Guild Green Tea Mint

The Maple Guild Green Tea Mint
Green tea and mint is a nice match but something...something about mint is strange. We brush our teeth with mint and chew mint gum and eat mint candy. Mint is synonymous with dental hygiene and it's sometimes tough to disassociate it and enjoy it in a nice drink.

Bad breath aside, this is good. It's a very subtle mint and if it was more overpowering, I couldn't get past it. The green tea isn't bitter at all and it's lightly sweetened. The illustrious Maple Guild does a good job of sweetened but not over-sweetening these drinks and for that I am appreciative. Personally I don't know if I would be a repeat customer for this but the dude I split it with said it was better than the lemon. Different strokes, I guess.
Rating
🧃🧃🧃🧃🧃
Categories
Iced Tea
Company
The Maple GuildWebsite@RealMapleGuild
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Maple Syrup
Author
Mike Literman on 8/8/17, 6:56 AM
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The Maple Guild Black Tea Lemon

The Maple Guild Black Tea Lemon
This is a nice guy. The maple syrup actually rounds out the taste and allows it to be a bit smoother than even a cane sugar pop and somehow, sweetens it enough while somehow keeping the calorie count in half. This whole bottle is 90 calories while a Snapple lemon black tea, for instance is 150. Snapple uses real sugar and tacks on an additional 60 calories and that might not seem like much, but for those who are counting calories, it might make or break your decision.

The whole drink is really just a delight. I shared it with a buddy at work and he thought the same thing. It was decently sweetened. This isn't "a tad sweet" to use the Lipton sweetening verbiage. It's between that and the teeth disintegrating sweetness of a Southern style sweet tea. Not to make a pun but "the sweet spot." I have yet to see this on shelves and they sent it to us so that leads me to believe this is a new line. If you see it, I'd put down what you're used to and trying something new. They know what's going on inside the confines of this bottle and they're letting us in on the secrets of maple sugars.
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Iced Tea
Company
The Maple GuildWebsite@RealMapleGuild
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Maple Syrup
Author
Mike Literman on 8/3/17, 8:21 AM
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Starbucks Cold Brew Cocoa & Honey

Starbucks Cold Brew Cocoa & Honey
This is what all coffee should taste like for me. The quest is over. I go to local (Buffalo) places and try iced mocha coffee from all of them and they're missing something or there's too much of something else. This, though, this is fantastic. It's lightly sweetened and relies on the honey to earn some of its keep. It's got a great chocolate taste but isn't too strong. I read that it has cream in it but it's not thick like it could be. It might be there just to smooth some of the taste out. It's really good. It's not terribly cheap at $3 per bottle and I actually don't know where I can get it in Buffalo, which is a good thing. I was in Erie, PA when I got this guy but I feel like it won't be long before I see them here. It's kind of impossible that this won't be successful in the "test market" that is Erie that it won't trickle out to the rest of the country. For all I know, the takeover could be happening right beneath my nose and I could walk outside and see everyone drinking it like some sponsored episode of the Twilight Zone. Eh, could be worse.
Rating
🧃🧃🧃🧃🧃
Categories
Coffee
Company
StarbucksWebsite@starbucks
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Mike Literman on 7/2/17, 9:47 AM
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Pure Leaf Black Tea Pomegranate

Pure Leaf Black Tea Pomegranate
I'm not going to push any product on this review but this isn't good. It's not bad but it does not taste good. I drank a third of the bottle and am not going to waste my time drinking the rest. Don't get me wrong, I have a long track record of liking Pure Leaf. Their unsweetened is great as is their "Just a Tad Sweet." Their more boutique flavors are great also. This...there is a reason this was at Big Lots. When you buy drinks from Big Lots, you buy them with a little asterisk attached. Sometimes they're diamonds in the rough like the Unsweetened Peace Tea and sometimes they're not. You can't be mad about it.

This has the aftertaste of pomegranate but while you're drinking it, you get a taste of something undesirable. It's hard to pinpoint but it tastes artificial. I think it just has a strange tinge to it. Strange that it tastes better a minute after you drink it but it's when you're in the moment that counts and when you are in the think of it, it's not good. No sir. Peace out, two-thirds of this bottle.
Rating
🧃🧃🧃🧃🧃
Categories
Iced Tea
Company
Pure LeafWebsitehttps://twitter.com/pureleaf
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Mike Literman on 6/23/17, 6:27 AM
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Mountain Dew Dew.S.A.

Mountain Dew Dew.S.A.
Wow. If you gave even a teaspoon of this to even the toughest eagle, it would fly into the goddamn sun and burn to a well-done representation of itself never to spread its wings again. Look. I don't hate myself. Do I get depressed and wonder about my life? Yeah, sure. We all do. Drinking this is like two rungs away from suicide. I drank half and had to choke that down. It's so sweet. So sweet. Half a can at a backyard barbecue for this website only. If this site didn't exist, my lips would have never touched the indistinguishable pop.

What does it taste like? It's hard to say. This is going to sound stupid but it's true but it tastes like if you filled up a cup half with regular, mom and pop Mountain Dew and then put all the other Mountain Dews in there to top it off. Sure, you can call it White Out, Voltage and Code Red and sure it might be, but none of these have terrible distinguishable flavors so mashing and mushing them all up together isn't going to get you any closer to success.

Look, the Fourth of July is coming up and maybe we need something like this in our lives to feel patriotic. What's more American than three Mountain Dews that are readily available dumped into one can and sold as a fourth Mountain Dew that tastes like fruity liquid sewage? Who cares, right? 'Merica. Rest in toasty pieces, eagle. You did all you could when you were with us. From that time you ate that mouse to the time you ate that other mouse. We'll never forget.
Rating
🧃🧃🧃🧃🧃
Categories
Soda Pop
Company
Mountain DewWebsite@mtn_dew
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Author
Mike Literman on 6/20/17, 6:11 AM
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Spindrift Sparkling Water Raspberry Lime

Spindrift Sparkling Water Raspberry Lime
I enjoy Spindrift's stuff. I've had a bunch of it and it's nice to see it come here (Buffalo) so that it makes it easier to get. It's like a seltzer for people who want things a little more juice and less seltzer. It's kind of a mild difference but it's there and you can tell even if you can't put your finger on exactly what it is. This has a taste you have to either just like or get used to, though. It's not like a seltzer in that it's bright and bubbly so don't go in head first and expect it. It's got something else that, like I said, I can't pinpoint exactly what it is.

As far as the taste, it's an accurate raspberry and lime flavor. Evenly flavored and not messed around with other sweeteners or ingredients. It's a nice, bare bones drink that could be a nice alternative to your seltzer habit which I can stop at any time, mom, jeez! Get off my back already.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Sparkling and Water
Company
SpindriftWebsite@spindriftsoda
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Author
Mike Literman on 6/20/17, 5:55 AM
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Busy Bee Yerba Mate Honey Mint

Busy Bee Yerba Mate Honey Mint
I don't know what to say. I'm rarely in this position but I am at a loss for words. I do not know, and I've tried, if I like this. Yerba mate has never been high on my list of things that I really like but I am 95% done with this bottle and drank all of that with an open mind. Where has that gotten me? Nowhere, really. I've been sipping on it for an entire day and I don't know what to make of it.

It's bitter. Yerba mate is bitter. It's not punishing but it doesn't go down smooth, that's for truth. The honey is masked by the flavor of the tea and the mint is nearly non-existent. I'm not penalizing it for what it is and I'm not punishing it for what it could be. This is an honest yerba mate if there ever was one but it is, for me at least, a tough pill to swallow. It's lightly sweetened but it's not for kids. If a kid likes this, they have really crunchy parents and probably real all the time. Put that in your dad's medicine pipe and smoke it if you live in whatever states weed is legal in.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Iced Tea
Company
Busy BeeWebsite@busybeemate
Country
United States
Sweetener
Wildflower Honey
Author
Mike Literman on 6/13/17, 5:59 AM
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Farmer Springs Milk Tea Matcha

Farmer Springs Milk Tea Matcha
Jay loves matcha. Why did I review this then? Don't ask questions. That's why.

This was purchased as a local Asian grocery store I tend to go to. I brought my son thinking he might like some different snacks and treats. For the record I thought wrong. I bought him a mochi ball and he didn't like it. I bought him a chunky juice and he didn't like it.

This was good but even in the small bottle there is no way I could finish it. It does taste like matcha but after a while, you eventually lose the green tea taste and it starts to taste like the milk at the end of cereal. Once again, not bad, but exhausting and sweet. Not tooth rottingly sweet but too sweet for me to drink even this baby bottle.
Rating
🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺
Categories
Iced Tea
Company
Farmer Springs
Country
China
Sweetener
Fructose Syrup
Author
Mike Literman on 6/7/17, 6:40 AM
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Galco’s Pop Stop
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Polar Seltzer Watermelon Margarita

Polar Seltzer Watermelon Margarita
I do not know what a margarita is aside from a drink that my live-in-wife likes to order as a "salty marg." This did taste like watermelon, or, perhaps closer to a watermelon candy (somehow) without sugar. Could you imagine eating watermelon that wasn't sweet? That would be a strange thing. Watermelons are very sweet. This was not at all sweet and as far as I could tell, also not salty. I don't know what this is, to be quite honest. Sparkling watermelon perhaps. The margarita might just be a word they used to append to the end.

This is not bad and it's far from my least favorite but it's not bad. It's unfortunately not one of the ones I would come back to actively. There are times when I go to parties and think to myself, "Well the kids will have juice boxes and the adults will have beers so it looks like it's another Polar for me." and that's how I roll to parties. I might roll with this. It's safe but it's not exceptional.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Sparkling and Water
Company
PolarWebsite@polarbeverages
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Author
Mike Literman on 6/7/17, 5:45 AM
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Galco’s Pop Stop
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Dunkin' Donuts Iced Coffee S'Mores

Dunkin' Donuts Iced Coffee S'Mores
Where do I start with this...? It's not great. That's where I'll start. Before the similes and before the jokes, let's get to the marshmallow'y meat of this whole ordeal. It's not great. It tastes vaguely of marshmallow if you made a marshmallow with an array of chemicals...errrr...artificial sweeteners and then covered in more sugar. This time, and I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt here, real sugar.

This has more of a coffee taste than many of the other iced coffee's I've have, which is a welcome change but the rest of it...I feel like I might need a tongue scraper. It's a very prominent, strong taste that I wish I couldn't taste anymore. I'm not saying it's terrible and I'm going to barf, but after sharing half of this and finishing a half of what I had left, I don't know how much s'more endurance I have left in me. That's not a pun. I don't do puns. I'm better than that.

If you're wondering, I can't taste any chocolate or graham cracker. Marshmallow and coffee and endless questionable sweeteners. This will surly bring a plague of unknown disease upon my poor, meat-filled body. I just won't know about it for another twenty years when the test results come back. Prognosis...negative.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Coffee
Company
Dunkin' DonutsWebsite@DunkinDonuts
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Author
Mike Literman on 5/31/17, 6:00 AM
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Galco’s Pop Stop
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Teavana Craft Iced Tea Pineapple Berry Blue

Teavana Craft Iced Tea Pineapple Berry Blue
I went in to 7-11 looking for one thing and left for something probably way better. I have not had a true Pepsi Fire myself. I say "true" because I got a Slurpee and, in true fashion, I mixed it up. I thought that I would get one for myself tonight but I got sidetracked by this little beauty and what a little beauty it was.

This is lightly sweetened and very strongly flavored. Nice hibiscus flavor. There are "other berries" in there, sure but it's a wonderful evening treat. The rooibos, which I am unfortunately 50/50 on, won me over in this particular drink. Sometimes I feel it can be strong for my taste but everything was done very well here. Very well indeed. There are other flavors out there. Something to think about. Something to dream about.
Rating
🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷
Categories
Iced Tea
Company
TeavanaWebsite@TEAVANA
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Mike Literman on 5/30/17, 7:52 PM
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Galco’s Pop Stop
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Naturewise Whole Body Vitality Drink Tropical White Tea

Naturewise Whole Body Vitality Drink Tropical White Tea
What are we celebrating? Did someone get a raise? Did someone get fired? Was it Carol? I never liked her anyhow. Oh, she's still here? Oh, she actually got a raise? Oh, she's standing right behind me? Does she look mad? She does? Oh. Well. I guess I'll have to face this like a man. Hello, Carol. It's so nice to see you. Lovely day outside, isn't it? Did you get your hair done? You didn't? You actually have baby puke in your hair? I thought someone was eating cottage cheese. Congratulations on your raise. You are a hard worker and it's good to see all your hard work didn't go unnoticed, which is more than I can say for myself.

I've brought these celebratory drinks. They taste like a mimosa made with orange juice and non-alcoholic champagne sweetened with Erytritol, you know, to keep it diet. It tastes fine but that artificial sweetener is really prominent as if to scream to the world and make it as apparent as possible that you're on a diet. No, I didn't say it looked like you had to go on a diet. No I didn't say that I didn't like you. I said...I said I didn't like "shoes." I didn't like your shoes. I don't like your shoes, Carol. They're just too cool. "Too Cool Carol" is what I'm going to call you. You're making the rest of us look bad, Carol. Everyone hates you because you're too cool. Look out everyone, "Too Cool Carol" is coming through with her baby puke shirt and cool shoes and a raise. Look out! Everyone get out of the way.
Rating
🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺
Categories
Diet, Iced Tea and Sparkling
Company
NaturewiseWebsite@LiveNatureWise
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Erytritol
Author
Mike Literman on 5/19/17, 6:48 AM
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Izze Fusions Orange Mango

Izze Fusions Orange Mango
Orange and mango are good buds. They're arguably both orange. That lumps them into that category. Really, that's it. They're also just a good pair. This tastes more like orange juice than a 50/50 split. I'd happily give it 75/25 if we're going to put numbers on it.

This was given to my mammy as a way to promote the product. Well, they didn't know who her son was. Most people don't. I am but a man. A sexy, attractive, talented, man of a man. A man who decided to spend the last seven years writing crud about drinks. This being one of them. What do I have to say about it? It's good. Simple as that. Personally I like the other Izze drinks because they're lighter and simpler. This is...not thicker...but denser. It's a sparkling juice. They call it like a sparkling soda, water and juice simultaneously and it is all of them and it is one of them. Is it confusing? No. You know why? Who is going to fight over what this is. Whatever it is, it's sparkling and fruity and drinkable. Don't put baby in the corner. Just drink it.
Rating
🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺
Categories
Juice, Soda Pop and Sparkling
Company
IzzeWebsite@izze
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Mike Literman on 5/15/17, 6:49 PM
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Dunkin' Donuts Fruited Iced Tea Blackberry with Strawberries

Dunkin' Donuts Fruited Iced Tea Blackberry with Strawberries
Ahh. A nice, opaque tea in the morning. What better thing to start off the day? That's what I said to myself as I miraculously got my dumb son to school on time and still had time to buy this maroon treat for myself.

What is it? Well it's unsweetened black tea with an undisclosed amount of blackberry puree in it and some assorted chunks of strawberries. It's also available for a limited time so I thought, "I need to get this before it's too late!" as if I didn't get it, I would regret it for the rest of my life like the time that I wanted to see DJ Rashad in Toronto but couldn't find anyone to go with me and he died the next day. That type of regret.

She's good, though. I think there is so much puree that you can't taste any tea, though. "Problem" with that is that the puree itself is so good that you almost don't care and then hate yourself for saying such apathetic things about tea, the lifeblood of everywhere but America, who, ironically and allegedly, runs on Dunkin'. Every once in a while you're treated to a bullet to the back of your throat disguised as mushed up strawberry that is more fun than gross. If you might like tea, like fruit juice and enjoy working on your cheek muscles, this is a great summer drink for you.
Rating
🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺
Categories
Chunky and Iced Tea
Company
Dunkin' DonutsWebsite@DunkinDonuts
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Author
Mike Literman on 5/10/17, 6:14 AM
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Starbucks Frappuccino Unicorn

Starbucks Frappuccino Unicorn
I don't understand what just happened. Every sip was different and every sip was strange. It was sour in some sips and just an explosion of some sort of mystery fruit in others. There were also glitter sprinkle sparkles on top.

I don't know what the flavor was. Was it strawberry? I think I read mango somewhere but if I put one next to the other, it wouldn't have been whatever I tasted in this. I mean, is "cotton candy" a fruit? It tasted like cotton candy at some points. Who is this for? Within the ten minutes that I was there, they sold a rather copious amount of them so they're doing something right. It won't last long but if it was up to me, I would have drank a dozen of that illusive Polar Unicorn Kiss that I/we never got to try before I would drink another one of these. Was it bad? I cannot even answer that question. It truly was made of the barf of unicorns.
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Other/Weird and Smoothie
Company
StarbucksWebsite@starbucks
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Author
Mike Literman on 4/19/17, 10:47 AM
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Arizona Arnold Palmer Half Iced Tea & Half Lemonade

Arizona  Arnold Palmer Half Iced Tea & Half Lemonade
So much smoother. "Than what, Mike?" you ask? Well that the other Arnold Palmer, man. Giving me attitude like that. Come on, dude. Don't give me that.

This is a classic Arnold Palmer but with real sugar courtesy of the good folks at Arizona. I feel like it's been a long time since we've reviewed something from them. Have they become complacent with their seemingly endless array of drinks? Perhaps. Do we, these thirsty dudes, not have our ear as close to the ground as we used to? Perhaps. Is this better than the one that they used to sell? I think so. Between my brother and this dude Mike I used to and will soon work with again they probably drank hundreds of gallons of that stuff. The light (lite) stuff. This is not light. Full sugar. Real sugar. "Good" sugar.

I don't know if they'd like it. Maybe because they're a little older and a little wiser but also because maybe they're accustomed to the taste of the aspartame or the corn syrup or Splenda or whatever they used. Who knows? I suppose I could buy them a bottle but you know what? They can get one themselves. This one was lent to me so I don't have one to give.
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Iced Tea and Lemonade
Company
Arizona Website@DrinkAriZona
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Mike Literman on 3/7/17, 12:30 PM
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McDonalds Milk Shake Chocolate Shamrock Shake

McDonalds Milk Shake Chocolate Shamrock Shake
No one in the car? We can get away with something. A milkshake from McDonald's the perfect sneaky treat. I've been cooking fantastic meals from Blue Apron that take me between 45 minutes and an hour to make and I snuck out to get a milkshake. Not just any milkshake but a Shamrock Shake and not just any Shamrock Shake but a chocolate Shamrock Shake. I get it and it looks 50% great. There is a little whipped cream with a cherry and some green, festive, seasonal sparkley sprinkles. Then we get to the meat of the shake...pause for dramatic effect.

Why is this layered? Why is this layered like this? I mean, they came out with a cool straw that was made to drink from two points at a time. What happens if you have a regular straw? It's not a chocolate Shamrock Shake as much as it is a half chocolate and half Shamrock shake. Unless you mix them up yourself, which I didn't, you have to drink through each flavor. I just thought that was strange and wrong. Like when my brother wore seven pairs of underwear at a time so that he could take off the outside pair and not have to put on new underwear for a week. Pause for applause...
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Milkshake
Company
McDonaldsWebsite@McDonalds
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Author
Mike Literman on 3/2/17, 11:30 AM
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Trader Joe's Brewed Ginger Beer

Trader Joe's Brewed Ginger Beer
Ahh ginger beer. Always a welcome guest in my house. Gosling's, Goya and now Trader Joe's. Sure, there are other ones. What? Do you want me to make a list? Well it's not going to happen. Alright, fine. Here. Happy?

This is good. It's sweet. I could put this in the category of "entry level" since it's not going to burn the skin off your mouth. Tame. Could you give it to kids? Sure if the kids you are giving it to aren't wimps and if their parents aren't around. If I saw you giving my kids pop, I might say something. If I saw you giving my kids ginger beer, I might say something after I saw the look on their dumb, wimp faces as their tiny, young mouths are on fire.

This is sweeter than I like my ginger beer but makes up for in earthy, ginger flavor. It's like losing a game only to come up a couple points short in the fourth quarter. Everything was against you and you are still going home a loser just not as much of a loser.
Rating
🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾
Categories
Ginger and Soda Pop
Company
Trader Joe'sWebsite@TraderJoesList
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Author
Mike Literman on 2/2/17, 1:53 PM
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Sparkling Ice Essence Peach

Sparkling Ice Essence Peach
Back to basics. I can't tell you how refreshing seltzer is after some of the crap we drink. Look, nothing we drink is literal crap or figurative crap. Everyone puts their hearts into the products they put out but come one, after 4600 reviews, we have earned the right to start calling things "crap."

This is great. It's pure simplicity. Water, bubbles and peach. I assume they have some sort of vat of peaches just stewing all their Georgia essence into some tube mechanism that sucks up the scent, injects it into water by way of science/witchcraft and then stores the vapors for someone lucky enough to drink it.

If you like seltzer, this is just seltzer. They can call it whatever fancy name they want. It's sparkling water with flavor. La Croix? Polar? The other one? Same deal, bro. Same deal. It's all great seltzer.
Rating
🥃🥃🥃🥃🥃
Categories
Sparkling and Water
Company
Sparkling IceWebsite
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Author
Mike Literman on 2/2/17, 1:48 PM
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