Mike Literman - 1759 Reviews

I'm a sucker for spice. Blame it on my Western New York upbringing. I've lost that part of me where I masochistically eat things that will burn my face off in exchange for flavor enhancement. Sue me. This tastes like a diet cherry Coke with (somehow) less "diet" taste and rewards you with a little bit of burn. I could be wrong but I burped while drinking this and it had a pretty distinct ginger beer burp flavor. I liked it. I drank the whole can. I rarely drink cola let alone diet cola but this is actually something I would revisit. I was told again and again to drink it cold. One would think that something was going to come out of the can, like a heat activated cola demon, if I let it get lukewarm. Little does he know that we Thirsty Dudes drinking warm pop all the time. There's not enough room in fridges nationwide to house the amount of drinks that we've had at one time in our heyday. Now, unfortunately, sadly, apathetically, Jay and I could probably contain our back stock in a college dorm room fridge and still have room for a cool, crisp can of Milwaukee's Best that we would never drink but you know goddamn well that Chad would drink it in a heartbeat. Chad. You're the worst. Don't even get me started on Chad. Chad sucks. We'll leave it at that.

Well it certainly is nice to try something new again. This was great. I'll come right out of the gate, swinging my fists like a complete idiot; ready to fight no one and everyone at the same time. Honey rules. I put it in my coffee at home. I put it on ice cream. I add it to other stuff that you mind your G.D. business about, that's what! This is sweet. It's a different sweet than "1,000,000 sugar" sweet. It just tastes like honey which tastes sweet. It's a bit of a mental thing. As far as the "citrus vanilla" goes., yeah, that's there lighter in the mix. It's certainly a honey base but it does have notes of citrus and vanilla. I don't know how they do it. It's not thick at all. It's "like water" but tastes like honey. A drinkable honey for those of you cosplayers who go to Winnie The Pooh conventions but don't want to get your $1900 costume all sticky before the inevitably sex party afterwards aptly named "The Piglet Roast."

As sweet as this is, the whole (tiny) bottle is only 70 calories. This was generously sent to us but if I saw it in the wild, I would buy it. It's nice. A+. Quick shipping. Would buy from again.

I've been reviewing a lot of coffee drinks lately. I haven't been reviewing much, truth be told, but I've been reviewing a lot of coffee drinks. I don't know why. Probably because I feel like all I do is work, come home, watch my dumb kids and then after they are in bed, just watch YouTube and go to sleep. It's been a repetitive couple weeks and trust me, I'm as bored of it as you are reading about it.

So how is this, you ask? Well, it's fine. It's got a decent but not great coffee taste. I'm no connoisseur but the coffee might be a bit dark or perhaps a little burnt for my liking. The chocolate is fine but it's strong. It might also be a little too sweet. I don't know if anyone who likes coffee would actually like this. I'm right in the middle so I'm fine with it but it's either "too this" or "too that" for anyone who has a solid opinion one way or the other.

I've got to get out of this rut...this coffee isn't helping. I think the next step is going to be a Buick, starched collar and a start to that suicide note I never thought I'd write.

My parent's, specifically my mom, never goes anywhere. Heck, she probably goes weeks at a time without leaving the county. So when we were in Phoenix for my brother's wedding a while back, she tried like crazy to get Peet's Coffee. You can't get it here. I assume it's like Western New York's local favorite franchise Tim Horton's. My uncle or someone said that it was great so she tried to find it while she was wildly out of her comfort zone. I bet I could count on one hand the amount of times my mom has been on an airplane.

I found this bottle of Peet's at a Target. Right around the corner from home and nowhere near Arizona or wherever Peet's is local to. I saw "dark chocolate" and "cold brew," audibly said, "Yup!" and headed for the checkout. I tried it today and it is awesome. It's also hardly coffee. It's just chocolate milk for adults. It's more coffee flavored chocolate milk than vice versa. It did have a great coffee taste and the dark chocolate was very good, too but let's call a spade a spade here, dude. This is not exactly a refined person's coffee. It's at least 50% chocolate milk. It's very good. It's very but not too sweet. I would absolutely get it again but certainly not when I needed some pep in my step. Just for when I want coffee and chocolate simultaneously.

My mom couldn't even drink this. I gave her Dunkin' Donuts' new brown sugar cold brew and she made quite the face at me. This would do something unimaginable to her. I think she likes her coffee like she likes her men.

Question: Is it infused if it takes the color and flavor of the fruit? It seems like it's just a juice at that point.

Story: This is good. I saw it at an Aldi and left the line I was in while the people in front of me argued about bringing bags and the people behind me screamed at someone on the phone about how they're going to beat the hell of them when they see them. I'm painting a picture of what it's like to Aldi by me. Yes, it's a verb. I could not get out of there fast enough. It's not always like that but when it rains it pours.

Review: This is good. I'm at work after a long weekend just drinking some fruity juice water. It's good. Best of all, you can't really tell that it's fake sugar. I believe previously that you could. Perhaps they improved the recipe. From a drink standpoint it's good. I certainly get more cranberry than blood orange or even citrus at all. Did that make it lose points? Nope. It was still good. I would get it again. For the eleventh time, though, this is juice. Give Vitamin Water to a child and have a discussion about whether or not it's water or juice. Hint makes water with fruit essence in it. This is not that.

Can I just say, "Wow. 5 bottles." and call it a day? Let me check with management for a minute here...

{ Walks up 45 flights of stairs due to a broken elevator. Waits in a waiting room for four hours. Gets told that the boss has left and to come back tomorrow. Walks down 46 flights of stairs. Goes home. Fights with wife and kids. Goes to sleep on the couch. Wakes up with a bad back and cold because the dog pulled the blanket off in the middle of the night. Notices a ticket on the car. Gets in a traffic jam on the way to work. Gets to work fifteen minutes late and misses breakfast pizza because "fat Joan" decided to eat eleven pieces because "she just can't help herself." Walks up 45 flights of stairs. Waits three hours. Door opens. }

The boss said that I can say "Wow. 5 bottles." if I also add that it's really rich and creamy and has a wonderful chocolate milk quality to it.

Pina colada. Not too shabby, right? It's a little cup of summertime. I think it's illegal in most states to sell it when it's not summer. It would devalue it too much. It would also taste bad since the environmental climate is unbalanced in respect to the required prerequisites of the pineapple and coconut. Science stuff, man. Just trust us.

This is full of protein and you can taste it in every sip. There is no getting around it. It's amazing this is a liquid and not sludge. 15 grams of protein is no joke. It tastes a bit chalky, as you would probably guess. Even six hours of refrigeration can't save you from it. It tastes alright, though. Chalk aside. It has a good pina colada taste but you can taste the immense amount of protein and you can also taste the sucralose that makes it a little gross but a whole bottle clocking in at sixty calories is not an easy feat. Cut whatever corners you have to.

All in all, if you are trying to bulk up (bro) this isn't a bad place to start. Gains.

Cocoa I'm familiar with!

Through all the grit and grime of this drink, I found it to taste pretty good. What "grit and grime" you say? Well, this being a protein drink laden with grains, nut bits and coconut parts, it tends to have a bit of a texture to it. This, if you are at all familiar with protein and/or fiber drinks, is common. Let's start with the "bad" which is more informational than literally bad or gross. This contains coconut milk which can tend to give drinks a bit of a chalky taste or texture to it. If you have drunk anything with coconut milk in the past, you know what I am talking about. This was relatively cold but the chalk had already taken over. Personally, unless coconut milk, flavored or not, is ice cold, it tastes like that to me. Protein drinks have a bit of grit to them because the more protein you add to a drink, the thicker or grittier it gets because you can only mush up foodstuffs so much. This contains 11g of fiber and 8g of protein at the same time so it's got some thickness to it.

But who cares about all of that, right? How does it taste. It tastes good. It tastes like a good quality cocoa. Lighter than a chocolate milk but a good, honest cocoa. There is some (coconut) sugar and coconut milk so it's at least smooth and sweet and not some revolting, bittersweet chocolate that tastes more punishing than good.

This one, as opposed to the chai, I would drink again. I bet you could use this as a meal replacement. People would be jealous that you are drinking chocolate instead of wasting your time with pesky things like tacos, pizza and ham. Chewing is for idiots, right? Don't be a follower. Don't be an idiot. Drink to live. Drink for life.

It's been quite some time since I've drank something with so much substance. It's gritty and grainy and if you are not into these types of drink or like protein rich foods and drinks, walk on past this guy because she is thick. She's also not too shabby. I admittedly don't drink a lot of chai. I like it but I don't drink a lot of it. Why? Some things just happen.

Remember that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine is mad about having to shake orange juice and Jerry makes fun of her by lightly shaking it? This is like that but I feel like you constantly have to shake it. It might be so concentrated that there is no room for anything to "settle." It might just be dense. Thick and dense. I think that I'm drinking the drink incantation of myself.

To the flavor. It's a good, honest flavor and good representation of chai but somehow allows all of the ingredients to shine through. Cashew, coconut, ginger, chai, turmeric, salt. It's all in there and it all tastes good. It's a good drink. Would I drink it again? Eh, no. That just has to do with me not drinking chai. I've got other flavors I might not be so quick to dismiss.

In short, if you like chai and aren't afraid of a little grit, you've got a champion contender on your hands. If you are wavering on any of the aforementioned criteria, this might just be strange.

This is the last baby can of coffee I've got to review. It half makes me sad but between you and I, I've got extra duplicates at home that I can enjoy whenever I want.

I don't know why I like this stuff so much. It's the same review as it always is; it's sweet but not too sweet. It's smooth because of the milk (powder). This did taste a little different but I wouldn't be able to explicitly say, "Oh, that's a Blue Mountain right there." It's got a great coffee taste and is not bitter at all. It's good, though. I don't know why we filthy American's don't embrace stuff like this. This is sweetened, canned coffee. We love coffee here. Embrace it, turds. You'll love it. Why do I call you turds? Because this is my website, not yours. This is my soapbox. You don't talk to the man on the soapbox because he's got something important to say. I mean, he brought that box to make a statement and he's going to do it.

Go to your local Asian market and get this. It's not hard to find. Buffalo is hardly a metropolis. If you are in an equal sized city, you've got a bunch of markets. Just walk in, grab a couple cans, pay for them, and sit in your car and cry because your wife left you for a younger man. Also, drink this.

So much Taiwanese coffee. I have been sharing the "wealth" and turning people on my team on to the Chin Chin's and the Mr. Brown's of the world. This is good. I don't drink cappuccino. Does it normally have chocolate in it? Is it coffee beans or espresso beans? Who cares? It was good. It was as smooth as you would want plus that little bit of chocolate turned it into a nice little dessert after lunch. Thirty Helens agree that this cappuccino is worth the $0.79 I paid for it. I would have been able to drink the whole can but you know what? Share it with a friend. It's 9.1 ounces. It is fine, even if it is sweet. Hence, split the difference and make your friend happy. He just had to listen to you talk about your dumb kids for like fifteen minutes. The least you can do is offer him $0.395 worth of cappuccino. Plus, even in this day and age, saying that you will share cappuccino makes you sound like a real fancy pants. Tell your country mom and dad that you bought someone a cappuccino and you will impress them more than when you just barely passed high school and got a solid 2.3 GPA in college. Let's face it, if you were truly bound to do great things, you wouldn't need to impress them with phrases like "I bought my roommate a cappuccino." and "I just got promoted to assistant manager at the candle store, daddy."

Mr. Brown. What's wrong? Why are you sweating? Come into my office. I heard you yelling at my receptionist. What's going on? There was a murder? What happened? A stabbing? Mr. Brown. That's a very intimate way to murder a man. I'm pretty sure the last time we spoke I told you not to murder someone, didn't I? That's what did it? I put the idea in your head? Don't put this on me, Mr. Brown. You are the one that stabbed someone. How many times? Seventy two times? Who was it? Your gardener? What did he do? Trim your topiary incorrectly? He formed it into a what? A wiener?! Mr. Brown, that's no reason to stab a guy six dozen times. Well I don't know what type of service I can offer you but...oh...you know what? Good thing you came in here. I wanted to talk to you about something. What? Yes, I think those are police cars. Hey I wanted to tell you that I tried this Macadamia Nut iced coffee and it's some of your best work. Sure you can lock the door. Take a seat, Mr. Brown. You're making me nervous. I'm trying to tell you that I really liked this iced coffee. It's smooth, like I would expect anything else from you but the nuttiness is very prevalent and enjoyable. I would never tell you to change your cans or serving sizes but it was hard not to open another one. I know what's right for me and if I have a second can of your coffee, I'd be bouncing off the walls much like you are doing. Why are you so nervous? Oh, right, the stabbing. You can try to jump out the window but we're on the second floor. You have a nice suit on. It would be a shame if you scuffed it up when you hit the ground. You think you can do it? You're really going to have to tuck and roll to pull this off, Mr. Brown. You're going to do it? Well don't let me get in the way. I'll actually help you out with the window as the latch is a bit tricky. Well if you don't get caught are we still on for Saturday at the golf course? Alright. Oh, you have a plus one? Your other gardener? Is he a good golfer? Better than me? Mr. Brown, you're as good a comic as you are a murderer. Have a good one. I'll talk to you soon if you don't get in trouble. I think they're knocking down my office doors. Remember to bend at the knees. Take care, Mr. Brown.

Something about this coffee takes me back in time, to a time that I never knew. The sunny 1970's. With every sip I feel my hair get greasier and my pants get wider. I feel the shag in the carpet get shaggier and all of a sudden all the walls have mirrors on them.

This coffee is sweet coffee with cream in it. Deal with it. Want black coffee? Get the hell out of my house. Get the hell out of my wood paneled house that all of a sudden plays nothing but Abba songs. It's not too sweet and neither the sugar nor the cream detracts from a decent coffee. I think some might think that it's too sweet but it's not going to put air holes in me ol' chompers. Is it going to win any awards? Probably not but I'm not going to turn it down when offered. Who is offering me Taiwanese coffee drinks in indestructible steel cans? No one. I need to find new friends.

Get the hell out of the way! The new, limited edition Gatorade's are here! What? What do you mean they're nothing special? What do you mean they just taste like regular Gatorade? What do you mean my fly is down? Man, why am I running then? When they say "Limited Edition" I feel the urgency in my bones and have to get it before it's too late. I guess they wouldn't take it away in less than a day so we can walk together. I'll buy you one.

So what do you think? Here's what I think and I'm not happy to say so. It just tastes like the same old Gatorade that's always existed. If they call it "Flow Smooth Finish," which is perhaps the most difficult phrase I've ever said, I might give them the benefit of the doubt and say that it might be smoother. Was I asking for a smoother Gatorade? No, but I suppose that it's always welcome. Why wouldn't you want the smoothest possible drink? Seems luxurious. As far as flavor goes, I know what a watermelon tastes like and this tastes like a candy watermelon just not as sweet. Maybe it falls between difference between a real watermelon and a fake watermelon. It's not bad and I am having no problem crushing this whole bottle.

When it's gone, it's gone. By the time it leaves, I'm sure there will be several other limited edition Gatorade's that come and go. It's not like they're hard to find. They sell them everywhere. We will watch the tides of Gatorade change like the seasons. Like toxic, watermelon and fruit punch flavored waves which shall bring upon the inevitable death of all mankind and organic life.

Mr. Brown, it's so nice of you to return. It's been a while. How long has it been, old friend? Since 2013? Well it has been too long. Please, take a seat. What have you got for us today? Vanilla iced coffee? Well why don't you pour us a couple glasses and we'll get down to business.

This is nice. I see you haven't lost your edge in this game. This is good. It's the same great coffee taste with the smoothness of some vanilla. I'm surprised you hadn't thought of this earlier. Just the right amount of sugar to have to be drinkable and still using those indestructible, adorable cans, I see. Mr. Brown. You've done it again. I don't know how you do it, but you've got quite the empire on your hands.

Thank you for stopping by and giving me a sneak peek at this new little number. I'm sure it will do very well for you, as the rest of your little drinks do. Get home safely and please, Mr. Brown, try not to murder anyone on the way home, alright, friend? I'll talk to you soon.

It's not often that we find "regular" drinks on the shelves everywhere but today I found this while buying a seasonal corned beef sandwich. I was surprised when we hadn't reviewed it because both Jay and I enjoy a nice can of San P when given the opportunity. It's more calories than we like but they're good so we like it. How did this far? Well it fared well because sitting next to me is an empty can. It's very fruity and all of the orange and pomegranate juice comes through nicely. It's not overly sweet or fruity. It hits you right in the sweet spot. If you gave this to a scientist and said, "Dr. Scientist? Why are there so many calories in this juice?" They would probably say something like, "You mispronounce my name. It's 'Craig' and it's because there are a lot of calories in fruit and you know…€¦.sugar."

So fruit has calories. Calories are displayed as "joules" in the UK, right? That's cooler. American's hate calories. Joules sound way cooler. We should switch. Let's take the metric system while we're at it. Oh, and get rid of daylight savings time. Just rip those bandages right off all at once. Be on the right side of history, friends.

Darren, get over here. You're fired if you don't get me that Johnson report. Darren, you had two weeks to work on that report and there are jobs on the line. What do you have to say for yourself? What's this? Coffee? You think that this single can of coffee is going to make up for the eight people that might have to lose their jobs because you were too busy, what? What were you doing instead of working on that report? Chat Roulette? Darren. I don't even know what to say. I'm actually quite sure that it is all dongs, Darren. No, I'm pretty sure that it is. I've been there. All dongs. Welp, I might as well try this coffee.

This is decent. Maybe not decent enough to save all eight jobs but enough that I'm in a good mood and might give you a four hour extension if you assure me that you will get it in by eight tonight. You know what? And you have to wash my car. Yeah, I said it. Wash my car, Darren. This weekend. Come over to my estate and wash my car. I'm sticking my neck out for you because you're our most faithful employee clocking in at nine months, a pathetic stat. Let me have another sip of this here coffee. It's good, Darren. I don't typically drink coffee with just sugar but this is sweetened just enough to take the bitter edge off regular cold brew. I'm going to have no problem drinking this as a moderate coffee drinker. I can, and will drink this whole can while you get to your desk and get cracking on that report. If you have any more of this I'll take it. Let's consider it a "backroom deal" that allows you to keep your cushy job here.

More Girl Scout cookies. The dense, fat kid in me enjoys Girl Scout cookies. Keep 'em coming. If I didn't have self-respect, I could crush a whole box. I mean, there are only like twenty cookies in each box, right? No problem. Dare me. Don't dare me. I don't need all those cookies. I have liquid cookies now.

With all due respect, this didn't really taste too much like the cookies. I could not pinpoint the flavor. If you (generously) bought this and put it in front of me, I would not be able to tell you what it was. That being said, it was not bad. It was sweet but not tooth-shatteringly sweet. Since I couldn't tell you what it was, I am not married to this guy. Between this and the previously drank Thin Mint, I would take the Thin Mint. Between the Thin Mint and the standard mocha swirl that I like to get, I would get the mocha. A limited time offer? It doesn't bother me at all.

Ahh limited edition flavors. They come and go so frequently that I don't know if things came or went. When it comes time to try Girl Scout Thin Mint iced coffee, I'm in. Sure, Samosa is working its way up the chart to my heart; Thin Mint is still on top. I drink one mocha iced coffee from Dunkin' per week so to add a little mint to it is a nice little gift.

In execution it's a little strange. You "get it" but you "get it" like when you see art and you understand what they're going for but it's not something that's for you. You taste the chocolate and that's fine but the mint is a little strange. I drank it and, you know, I might drink it again but it's not my favorite. Something was just a tiny bit off and I think the mint is close to the original but there is some sort of chemical imbalance that throws it off.


Big ups to The Impulsive Buy for the tip.

I was dreading this for the following reasons. Nitro coffee murders my nerves. Other people's cold brew murders my nerves. Unsweetened coffee is unpalatable to me. Three good reasons, right? Well this is either really good coffee or I'm used to it. I'm slanting a little towards the former than the latter.

This was good. You could taste the roast of the beans and it wasn't terribly strong. I'm feeling it in my fingers as I mash these keys faster than my mind can function but I don't have so much extra energy that my body is contorting into shapes that are foreign to the limbs performing the actions.

As a coffee, it's fairly straightforward. No extra spices or flavors, just black coffee. I would say, "no frills" but to make coffee this decent takes skill in itself. Known coffee disliker me had no problem drinking a third of the can which, for no reason other I don't want to visit the moon today, is all I will be drinking. Whatever happens to the dude that drinks the other 2/3 of it, well, I'm not his dad. He can do what he wants. Maybe he'll get a million energies and go build a gazebo or something. Just be safe, man. It's slurring my keys like someone replaced the coffee with coffee-flavored alcohol. Drunk gazeboing cannot be a good idea. Speed squares and measurements will earn a better result than "the quickness."