Mike Literman - 1759 Reviews

John learned a lot of worthless stuff in high school. He learned how to sew a plush bear, historical event that won't help anyone outside of a bar league quiz night and what happens when you put vinegar and baking soda together. He always enjoyed science but mixing household events just wasn't enough. He needed something else.

He went home, put on his dad's safety goggles, you know, for safety, and started mixing. He went in the pantry grabbed iced tea mix and a whole peach. He went into the liquor cabinet using the key that he has seen his dad blatantly hide beneath the globe in the living room dozens of times and grabbed seltzer water; something that didn't need to be in the liquor cabinet in the first place and put everything on the table.

He made a glass of iced tea, regular stuff, and hand squeezed a peach in to it and then carefully and delicately poured some seltzer into it. Once combined he took one sip, for science and discovered something very sad. All he had done was recreate Lipton Sparkling Peach Iced Tea. Not a total loss. He did had a nice glass of tea to drink but he also had quite a mess to clean up. Also, he had some 'splainin' to do because when his daddy got home he noticed that some of the seltzer was gone.

I might have broken the law. If I drink something that's listed to be a hot tea and I drink it iced, it's kind of up to me. If I buy a hamburger and bring it home and put peanut butter and jelly on top and gummy bears on the bottom, I can do that. If I buy a bag of chips and put M&M's in there, I can do that.

This intrigued me because it had oh so many things to enjoy; sarsaparilla, anise, cinnamon and much more. It was good. It was cool and pretty refreshing. It was a bit "rooty" due to, and I'm going to assume, the chicory root. I mention that more as a feature, not a complaint. If I complained about it, it would be something to the likes of, "Ugh, this drink tasted like someone carved it out of a tree." or something way too much since we clearly suck at writing reviews. It's not an overwhelming drink. I know people are pretty black or white on anise but this contains less than you would think, regardless of the gigantic star anise on the box. More like a cinnamon red tea.

This was good, though. I've got nineteen bags left that I don't anticipate gathering dust like some of the other ones I've got up there. It's just different enough that maybe for every five bags of black tea I make, I'll swap in this or the chai black. You've got to keep things fresh, you know? Like when you wear the same socks for four days in a row. Change them out. They're stretched out and need to get back to where they belong. Yeah. It's just like that.

Cookies. More cookies. Big ones. Small ones. Medium ones. Dark ones. Medium ones, again. Light ones? I don't think that I want anything like that here. That would involve white chocolate and no thanks, friends. No thanks.

You know what I want cookies in? Mostly everything, honestly. I don't drink coffee, as you boringly know. This though, man, all day. This is kind of spectacular. "Kind of spectacular" seems like an impossible status. What makes this good, though? Well the fact that it's a good split between Oreo syrup and coffee. Two things that are probably not great for you and together they're most certainly not good for you but you don't give a rip because you're an adult and you can't tell me what to do anymore, Dad! Wuh....what....where am I? I blacked out. What was I doing? I was doing a review? For what? Oh, Oreo iced coffee from Dunkin' Donuts. Let's start up that old engine again.

This is great. Well, was great. It's gone. Like Daryl Hall said many, many times at this point, "she's gone." I would like to take Daryl Hall out to Dunkin' Donuts. I would buy him this cheerful, summer drink. Maybe after that he wouldn't feel soul alone. See what I did there? Daryl. See what I did?

Summertime = Watermelons. Summertime = Hot Dogs. Summertime = Strawberries. That's what summertime means to me. Simple mathematics. Combining two of the three strategically makes one heck of a refreshing drink.

Thanks to Polar cracking the code as to which flavors work and which ones don't work, we now are presented with a wonderful little drink that encompasses two fantastic fruit flavors into a bold number. It's well and heavily infused with the fruits. A great entry-level seltzer.

Stop hating seltzer. Start enjoying summer.

Jimmy, I'm sorry, son. I had to go back to work this weekend and finish up the Johnson report. I know I was going to take you camping. I'm sorry, buddy. I didn't come home empty handed, though. So put down that backpack and sleeping bag and come over here. I bought you, get ready, a S'mores Iced Capp. It's got all the things that kids like including but not limited to, chocolate, graham cracker crumbs and marshmallows. It's just like we're camping but while you eat s'mores, daddy is going to work on the Johnson report.

What do you think? I'm on page twenty-nine of this report and you look to be about half way done. Yeah, I don't know what the actual "iced capp" part is. It tasted almost like a salted graham cracker base. I liked it but couldn't tell what it was. I'll tell you, though. That chocolate whipped cream on top was a nice touch and since none of the chunks of graham cracker or marshmallows on top could be sucked through a straw, that final little bite of it was great. It tasted like a really unhealthy cereal.

Look, buddy. I'm sorry about doing this to you. The boss dropped this bomb on me and I've got to do what he says or I won't have the money to buy you such frivolous drinks. We'll be eating hobo pies on the side of the road. Yeah I know your mom has a job and we'll be fine...Jimmy! I'm trying to paint a picture. Let me focus on this report. Drink your s'mores and watch that ten hour loop of the yule log and it will be like we're camping.

On a recent, and terrible, trip to Richmond, Virginia I was pleased as punch to find this little number hiding in a cooler. Without question I bought it and anxiously awaited the nearly ten hour trip home which would allow me to drink it. Obviously I forgot and was left with two bags of snacks and drinks that were virtually untouched.

Green jasmine?! Dude. Please. You have an open invitation to come with Jay and myself to PF Changs where we kill glass after glass of the green jasmine tea. Paired with hibiscus should be a match made in heaven but is it? That's my little click bait for you. Answer? Scroll down to find out. There's another.

No. It's good but it tastes a little like a hibiscus tea that someone left the bag in too long. It's the tiniest bit sweet which actually helps but at the end of it, it comes off a bit flat. There's a tiny bit of green jasmine tea but the hibiscus tea is really strong, almost overwhelming. All-in-all this kind of falls flat. It's really heavy like my heart while I have to write this honest review about a tea I really wanted to love but have to give a mediocre grade to. I could never be a teacher. Some kids show promise but end up disappointing you and you have to fail them. I'm not going as far as to fail this tea but saying that the name of a baby chicken is a pigeon is just wrong and they should know better.

Oh the summer series from Dunkin' Donuts is going hard. Last year was ice cream flavored drinks. This year? Cookies. I love cookies. Who doesn't love cookies, really? Men, women, teachers, murderers, clowns, baby sitters, arsonists, girls, firemen, security officers and even ladies love them.

When ordering this, the option was presented to me, "Coffee of vanilla?" which I answered overwhelmingly "Coffee, ma'am." I don't know if she heard me because there is little to no "coffee" in this but it is a Coolata which I think is as far from actual coffee. This is one rung away from milkshake territory.

You know what, though? It's really good. They put whipped cream atop with some Oreo crumbles to really finish it off. Look at me, "finish it off" like it's some sort of high-end garnish. It's cookies, dude. It's cookies in a milkshake, whipped cream and cookie crumbles on top. It's delicious. It's everything you want in your life. You lead a regular life. Take no extra chances and get this. You're not going to surprise anyone else in your white bread world if they "catch you" drinking this. You aren't going to surprise your mother who raised you on chicken noodle and bologna sandwiches. This is cookies. Liquid cookies. This is liquid cookies and it's fantastic. Hello summer. Welcome back. We've missed you.

They are on to something here. I wish I was a scientist. Well, I wish I was a scientist a lot actually but now I can actually think of a situation where I would use my skills. I wish I was a scientist so that I could pull out my cool pocket microscope and look at what's going on in this bag of tea. There's got to be some sort of concentrate of juice in there and I want to see the flavor crystals because let's face it, all flavor comes in crystals. Since 1996 when Ice Breakers gum came out and their flavor was in crystals, all flavor has been contained within the confides of crystals.

This is titled "Pomegranate Burst" but that might have gotten lost in translation because this tastes like cherries. Also, since we, nay, I, are talking about how this tasted, this is like a 70% juice and 30% tea. I don't know what you want in something that comes in a tea bag. It's listed as a green tea but that is simply the carrier for the juice.

Whether it's cherry or pomegranate, it's good. Whether it's tea or juice, it's good. Whether you ate the wrapper or not with your Ice Breakers gum, it was good. Ice Breakers gum came out almost two decades ago and I'm recalling it like it was yesterday. That's very strange. I don't know if I like it or not. I like this tea, a lot. I don't know if I like how I aged myself back there.

Making an iced tea blend of tea is like making a tailor made tea for me. I drink a bit of hot tea but for my money, iced tea 'til death. I think I just thought of a new tattoo. What a dumb tattoo to get but man am I passionate about iced tea. Guys, seriously, how many times have I said that I would quit Thirsty Dudes just to drink iced tea for the rest of my life. This would be in my repertoire if that ever happened. It's a deep, dark bold tea. Take one of these bags and make a nice, tall, 24 ounce glass of heaven. I might be able to get two decent servings since I made a smaller cup before.

If I had a big jug, I could make some fantastic sweet tea. Also, if it wasn't 58 degrees that might help too. I only make sun tea in the summer. You can call me a snob but dude, it's sun tea. It harkens back to when things were simpler. Not the hectic, grueling city life that I lead now. That is an over-exaggeration.

I don't hate Wendy's. I used to. Oh how I used to hate Wendy's. Give a man food poisoning and it's hard to win back his heart. Somehow, they did it. That and there is a girl that works there named Lizz, with two Zs that is fantastic and another woman who is equally nice and hands out mints. Enough of the staff. Review.

They just released the FruiTea Chillers which, I'm pretty sure is just tea with juice in it but nonetheless, I had to try. You know who I am. This is good and it's a combination that you don't normally see. Blueberry is typically paired with pomegranate and pineapple is paired with...orange? Usually something citric. Blueberry and pineapple, though. That's a dynamic duo. It's they're already good unsweet tea and two fruits that are great. Mix them together and it's just as you would think; three great things hanging out together. Little bit of everyone mixed together doing stuff right. I would say that there is no more added sugar than is in the juice. It's good. I'll get another. Maybe today if I'm good of course. I've got to earn it.

I've been to Mexico a couple times. I didn't do many indigenous things but I would like to think that there are Mexican kids running around drinking this stuff like crazy. Maybe they do and maybe they don't. I don't know. My imagination is telling me that there are bottles of the stuff everywhere. I hope that people are taking them and making cool art from it as a social message about littering. Full circle.

How is it as an adult-ish Caucasian American male? It's alright. It's fruit pop. It's a strange lemon if it's only lemon. It's lemon, don't get me wrong but there is something else in there. Lime? Probably. I mean, I don't care but don't poop in my hand and tell me it a BLT. Is that how the phrase goes?

Happy Birthday, Morrissey. For your birthday I bought you a green apple smoothie from McDonald's. Yeah, it's the same McDonald's. Yeah, they still serve hamburgers. You know they do, man. Why would you ask that? Oh, you won't drink it? I doubt there is any hamburger in it. It was a joke. Come on. Here. I'll taste it first.

It's good. You would think it would be like a green apple Jolly Rancher but it actually tastes like real apples. You eat apples, don't you? Yeah. I thought so. Look, I'm not disrespecting your beliefs. I've seen you in concert twice and sang along to Meat Is Murder while you showed graphic videos of the mistreatment of animals. They're really enough to make people in PETA sick, honestly. It's got no extra sourness so you can enjoy the taste buds in your mouth the way that they were intended to be used.

What do you say? Do you want this drink that I managed to keep cold from Buffalo to jolly old England where I then had to hire a private investigator to find your rather nice and modest home? No? Cool. I'll just leave this here on your front porch. Happy birthday, Morrissey.

Lemon pop; It's not that much different than a Sprite with a bit of mint in it. I mean, that is a different product in itself but it's lightly mint. Don't think that you're brushing your teeth and then rinsing with Sprite. If you do, you should be put in the mental hospital because that's absolutely insane.

This is actually pretty refreshing; lightly lemon, lightly mint and mediumly sweet. It's not "over" anything and is small enough to never be overwhelming. I don't know if I would drink it again because it was almost so subtle that it was nothing special. It was good, don't get me wrong, but it was so "regular" that it was just kind of another drink.

I don't want people to get sore at me. This is different. It deserves mentioning. It was made and is an accomplishment. It's good. Try it. Like it. Share it.

It's been a long time since I've had a cola. I never drink the stuff. I don't drink pop unless it's for Thirsty Dudes and I've been doing a really crappy job of reviewing drinks as of late. Look, I can look in the mirror and be honest with myself. I've dropped the ball a lot. That being said, we've drank a lot of drinks and unless we slow down, there won't be anything else to drink.

This is...I don't know what this is. Is this a champagne cola? "La Pinata" is sort of a Spanish thing, right? It's got a little bit of a fruit flavor but doesn't taste like bubble gum like most straight cola champagnes are. It's got a good cola flavor, though. It's not too light and the fruit gives it a good alternative taste to a straight cola. I wish I could share this with someone while slamming at a piñata and having a parrot on my shoulder like in the label. Parrots rule. I'd rather have a parrot than a hundred piñatas. Unless it's that piñata from Billy Madison that is filled with Rolex watches. I'd take that over a parrot. I could hock a Datejust and just go out and buy a parrot. One for me and one for Pico, my scarlet macaw.

There are these two girls that have the pleasure of a job of driving a customized Mini Cooper around and just hand out Red Bull all day. No, it's probably not what they set out to do with their lives but who knows what they do in their off time. Sure the Mini is probably an automatic and sure, people probably disrespect them but at the end of the day, they have the top down and hand out drinks all day. No disrespect whatsoever.

In handing out drinks, though, it seems they only hand out the "regular" stuff. Diet, that bronze can and the core Red Bull. I've never seen them hand out any of last year's seasonal flavors which aren't so seasonal since they're still around today one year later. Once again, no disrespect.

This drink which was sent to us by Red Bull and not two ladies in a lil' car, isn't too bad. It's quite apparently diet but the cherry flavor isn't too bad at all. It's actually not oversweet and not over-diet. It would be a good alternative to your favorite non-diet energy drink. I can feel it surging through me like a million tiny ants who just found a chewy caramel on the hot summer ground and have to work fast before a bird eats it or some leashless dog.

I saw cherries for the first time at the grocery store this weekend. That means that it's starting: Summertime. I'm not wearing any socks. The only thing that's left is to find someone selling lemonade on a street corner.

This is summer wrapped in a bottle and it's good. Everything is properly portioned and well represented, too. The cherries are tart and fruity and the limeade is slightly tart and sweet. Man. Look, I shared this with a fellow developer and in hindsight, I selfishly wish I hadn't because it's good. Is anything bad? Nope. Not in here. This is all good things. Positive. H.R. from Bad Brains would approve of the PMA of this drink.

Wendy's, I used to hate you and now you've won back my heart. I eat all over the place; fancy places, holes in the wall and everything in-between. Today at Wendy's, I discovered this little guy. I've always loved Honest tea but to see a collaboration with Wendy's, that's nice.

So you go to Wendy's and you get yourself a little Caesar salad and a green tea. You're really taking care of yourself nowadays. This is a lightly sweetened green tea and it has, in the tropical department, a nice mango flavor. There might be more flavor but mango is the strongest, most overwhelming flavor. You'll like it. Trust me. I'm kind of a professional.

Bitter. Sweet. Sour. Fizzy. This is a complex drink. It also has a bit of a learning curve. If you take baby sips. It sucks. I'll say it. No gray area there. It is all bitter between the yerba mate and the Stevia. If you take a bigger drink, you can actually get the lemon lime. Unfortunately the honey doesn't get a chance to shine through because between the bitterness of the yerba mate and the sweetness of the lemon lime, that kind of fills up your palate dance card.

I think, so far, that my one complaint with this line is that I don't know what their yerba mate tastes like in itself. I don't know what the starting point is to base the flavors off of. It's very strong. You can taste it for a while as an aftertaste. I feel like it might be good but I think that it's always masked by whatever the "flavor" of the drink is and you can't take in and appreciate the taste of the base drink. This is a good lemon lime flavor. Honestly it is. The drink isn't bad but I think that the mix has to be reconfigured to allow all the flavors to shine in. I can tell that there are good things going on in here but the mix is off.

There are chunky drinks and then there is this. Take a good, hard look at that picture that I took. There are four, half inch chunks of pear in this drink. Cut up and thrown right in. It's a good drink, too. Very light. It tastes like somewhat spiced pear. The flavor of a pear isn't really prominent. As they said, it's an infusion. There is a nice, smooth vanilla taste. Since it's an infusion, the "spice" of the spiced pear isn't as strong as you might think. It's tough to accept that it's a spiced fruit drink that is restricted by the fact that it's an infusion rather than, say, and elixir. I do enjoy this even if I do despise pears. I would drink it again but given the opportunity, I would take the stronger one because this is only a teaser for what possibly could be.

It's been a long time since I've had root beer. This one is strange though. It makes quick visits to your tongue and promptly vanishes. In and out, just like when you visited your ex-girlfriend's smelly uncle's house; in and out. Split second flavor. How is that flavor, though? It's actually pretty good. It's more on the candy side of root beer. Not really dark or deep or anything special but it's right in the middle of the root beer spectrum.

If you didn't like it, you wouldn't know because before you had to decide if you liked it or not, you would be half way through the bottle and you would just assume you liked it because you drank so much, not because you didn't have time to justify one way or the other.