Jason Draper - 2709 Reviews

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the Shel Silverstein book that shares a name with this beverage is about how humans are horrible needy beings that will ruin anything if it helps them to “progress.” In the book the boy takes and takes until there is nothing left, and even then he uses ole stumpy as a place to rest his weary body, when he hasn't been back in years to visit. At the same time the book seems to teach that feminine things should be happy to serve. I know it's a childhood favorite to a lot of people but looking at it as an adult that book is a crock.

While they may share names this beverage is of a different sort. They give in the form of vitamin c, calcium, potassium, iron, protein as well refreshment, but they also take your cash and make a profit, which they should. As an added bonus, Giving Tree Tea also donates a portion of each sale to provide healthy meals to people who are struggling with hunger. They should be the basis for a children's book. They give and they take, and they aren't a chump in doing so. Everyone is happy and they are making the world a better place. Sharing and giving are important, but so is your general wellbeing, and don't let a picture book from the 60's tell you any different.

Moringa is a light earthy tea that has some produce like notes in it. Sometimes I think they are fruitlike and other times it's almost like leafy greens. I'm going to go with the latter and say it's the sugar that makes me think of fruit. It's almost as if it's tea flavored water, except it is way healthier. I feel like I could down a gallon of this without blinking.

When you live in a country where more and more people are finally starting to become health conscious eventually seltzer water is going to come into the mainstream. I'm not saying that it used to be a underground phenomenon. It's not like it's the mid 80's and Dischord is at the forefront of the DC punk scene. It just wasn't something that was everywhere with tons of people drinking it. I've been seeing a lot of ads for Bubbly around lately. Something about the design work made me think of generic store brand and I didn't hold much hope for greatness. I finally grabbed this today when I was thirsty, on the run, and not looking for sugar. While it's not mind-blowing and bursting with flavor in a way that makes you question if there is secretly sugar involved in some way, but it is very good. The strawberry is subtle, yet present. I'm aware of the contradiction there. It's just that it's not really there while you mull over the flavor in your mouth, but the second you swallow it's strawberry town. Maybe strawberry-ville? Well, it's certainly more than the hamlet of strawberry. Whatever, it's tasty and tastes as much like strawberries as you possibly could without it being sweet. With a price point a bit higher than my standby Polar, I don't know if I could buy a case to grab on the go, but I would certainly grab these again from gas stations while I'm out and about. Sometimes the increased quality just does not justify the increase in price, well at least for me, but I'm cheap.

I've been kind of into protein drinks lately. I mean as much as you can get into them, which is to say I've been drinking them somewhat regularly. I realized I have a big portion control problem when it comes to eating. If there is food in front of me I will just absentmindedly eat it. The fact that I sometimes eat a ridiculous amount without thinking about it, leads me to overeat during regular meals because my stomach is stretched (that's science right?). I've found that protein drinks help me to not eat between meals so much. I'll have one instead of a snack (which is probably a meal to most) and it helps curb my appetite. It's also nice that it helps with muscle building and it makes me feel like I'm not wasting my time at the gym and I'm getting better results. That is far too much background information just so that I can say I was excited when these showed up in the mail. Good timing is always appreciated.

This bottle has 15g of whey protein. I generally prefer to get my protein from plant sources, but exceptions can be made. It's grape flavored, but it contains no juice, so that means it tastes like a melted Free-Z-Pop, which I am more than okay with. Normally fake fruit flavors bother me, but for some reason I'm into fake grape. The whey protein gives it a slightly milky taste. It's not so much like an orange cream, but it's there around the edges. The grape is still in the foreground though. Mike said that the Tropical Coconut one he had was a bit chalky, but I'm not getting that with this flavor. It's sweetened with sucralose, which I didn't realize until after I had finished it, which is also a good sign, because I didn't taste anything diet in there. Overall this is pretty nice for a grab and go protein drink.

I will finally acknowledge that I am an adult. I am responsible. I take care of my bills on time. I no longer have the time for drama and nonsense in my life. Most importantly I don't need to ingest mass amounts of sugar. For a couple of years now I have been riding the seltzer train. At first it was a little hard going, but I soon completely latched on. Sure, there are times where I do have a sugar craving, or a certain type of beverage won't leave my brain. Sometimes I give in and give myself a treat. Others I fill the gap with something somewhat similar but healthier. Now I am a fool for blood orange anything. It's the superior citrus fruit in my world, and I can't get enough of it. When I saw that Polar expanded their Seltzer'ade line and it included a Blood Orange Lemonade, I couldn't get a case into my cart fast enough. Sometimes things just can't match the expectations that form in your head though. While this is quite tasty, it is by no means a replacement for a good blood orange Italian soda. It is a flavor that needs a little sugar to be enhanced. As I said this is very good, but it may be the lightest flavored of this line that I have tried. If this was as strong as the mango one I would have a new beverage of the summer. As it stands I don't know how often I would get it as it leaves me wanting.

As someone who drinks dairy extremely rarely, I have to say this really grossed me out. I can't tell you when the last time I took a sip of cow's milk was. If I had to guess I would say at least 15 years. Sure I've eaten my fair share of ice cream since then, but there is something very different about drinking dairy. Oh did I also mention that I only like mozzarella cheese and all other types also gross me out? I say that because this tastes like it was half frothy milk and half some weird liquefied cheese that I would never eat in its solid form. This is grass fed whey protein that is derived from goat's milk. I've never had goats milk before and I'm guessing I would not enjoy it. I could have told you that before I tried this. Having that made into a powdered protein is even less appealing. I'm sure there are people out there who would be really into it, but I am most definitely not one of them. I will stick with pea and rice proteins.

Sometimes you come across things in life that are simply not for you, but that you can appreciate that they are well made and completely understand why other people would love them. This tea is one such thing. I've never been a huge lemon fan. I always kind of thought that it was because the flavor normally tasted very fake or that it wasn't strong enough in a pure form (the exception being proper lemonade which I can destroy during appropriate times). The Tea house Collection doesn't mess around. They don't add “flavoring” to their teas. They actually brew the things in with the tea itself, like tea should be made. Lemon peel and honeysuckle are mixed in with the black tea leaves when the hot water is added to steep it. That makes all the difference and everything tastes natural. The result is a lemon tea that has a strong flavor, without being bitter. It tastes like a iced version of someone's grandmother's tea if she used higher quality ingredients. I enjoyed this, but I didn't love it. If you are a fan of lemon tea, you will love this though. If you don't I don't know what to tell you. The world makes no sense.

I'm always spouting yerba mate this, and yerba mate that. It's the tea of my dreams. It tastes of the earth and I usually can't get enough. This, my friends and readers, is no yerba mate. If I were a conspiracy theorist I would make claims that not a single leaf of yerba mate was used in making this. The wonderful earthy taste is not present at all, let alone any sort of tea taste whatsoever. At best what you have tastes like a malt beverage. At worst it tastes like crappy beer a teenager would squirrel away until the night of the big party in the woods with all their hair farmer friends. This is gross. I tried to power through it, hoping that maybe I would get acclimated and it would get better, but there was no chance of that. I couldn't even make it halfway through the can. I would avoid this at all costs. I have no idea how this got big enough to make it into 711. It's something I would expect to find in the dirtiest of bodegas, covered in a thick film of dust as no one has touched it in decades.

If this is Ocean Spray giving their take on Vitamin Water, they are a bit late to the game. If it's just them trying something new, well it's not really a novel idea, but I still enjoy it. I feel like this is some trick to save them money. It's essentially the same as their normal juice , except the hfcs or sugar are swapped out for the zero calorie Erythritol and I'm pretty sure they just added more water to the juice so it was thinner and less strong. It doesn't taste watered down, but it also no longer feels like a juice either (they aren't marketing it that way). It really tastes like a naturally diet cran-raspberry vitamin water. I know I made it seem like this beverages existence is nefarious, but it's just a tasty drink that is exactly what it says it is.

Ladies, Gentlemen and everyone in-between, I am here to spread the gospel of yerba mate. It is the superior brewed beverage and that includes all teas and coffee. It is the best as you should worship it for the golden god that it is. I am obviously glad that more companies are popping up who put out this wonderful beverage. Not only is it delicious, but it is also my favorite form of caffeine intake.

The mate flavor in this here can of Yachic isn't as strong as my favorite, Guayaki. The water to tea ratio is off and it is causing it to lack the earthiness that you normally get from a yerba mate. Anything that is lost from that imbalance is made up for by the taste of the blueberry though. It's flavored with organic blueberry juice, which causes it to actually tastes like the berries instead of the usual fake flavoring. This may taste more like a “regular” tea, but it at least tastes like a great version of that. This is what I would expect Arizona's take on yerba mate to be, but you know with better added flavors.

So everyone thinks that most energy drinks taste like Wonka candy right? You know the candy company that came into reality from a fictional company in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. From Nerds, to Spree, to Runts, and most commonly SweeTarts energy drinks are mimicking the flavor of these candies. At some horrible point in a dystopian future Wonka is going to just give in and release their own line of energy drinks with a “if you can't beat them, join them” mentality. I mean if sugar gives kids crazy energy and makes them go nuts why not go all in? Perhaps it has already happened and Rip It is really Wonka under a pseudonym because this really tastes like Spree. It's crazy how much these things taste like candy from my youth. Let's make that an internet rumor. Spread the word, delicious candy is now delicious energy drinks. I'm sure it will end with someone getting sued.

When there is a line of beverages comes out that is on the fancier side of things I get excited. I dust of my spat and polish up the old monocle in preparation for greatness. More often than not there is one flavor in said line that just doesn't live up the uniqueness of the others. For Teavana it is the mango black tea. I can be all uppity and say something along the lines of, “why don't they make a raspberry one while they are at it?” Mango has become a fairly commonplace flavoring of tea nowadays and it certainly does not like up to the expectations that one has for say a Passion Tango or a Pineapple berry Blue. I certainly wouldn't de-collapse my opera hat for such a peasant's beverage.

Yeah, all of the above is me being a pretentious buffoon. This tea is wonderful and it is incredibly far from being a tea that anyone would call common. The ingredients are listed as tea infusion, sugar, natural flavors and citric acid. Now most mango flavored teas use some sort of syrup that isn't actually derived from the fruit and it shows. This tastes like someone cut up a half dozen mangos and let their juicy sweetness just soak into the brewed tea. This tastes so much like actual mango that I am a bit dumbfounded that mango juice isn't an ingredient. Teavana you've won me over yet again. Keep them coming.

Vegan protein powders are surprisingly on the rise. I've been seeing a bunch of them that are mostly made from pea protein. They are also normally flavored (chocolate or vanilla) and sweetened with stevia. I could definitely do without the last part. I would rather no sweetener in the protein shake than have that flavor lingering around. Naked decided to go in a different direction and made this out of brown rice protein. Keeping true to their name there is also no other added ingredients in here. It's simply 25g of rice protein. It also just tastes like watered down brown rice. That sounds bad, but it's fairly pleasant. This is a natural, vegan protein supplement that I can get behind. Death to zero calorie sweeteners.

True story: Just outside of Buffalo there is a barn whose side has been painted with a mural of bees and it says “When we go we're taking you all with us.” With the numbers of bees on this planet dropping that is a terrifying thought. They do a lot of good here on Earth, and their disappearance is concerning. Mikaila (the human child that helped form the company that makes these lemonades knows this a problem so she donates some of her profits to organizations who are working to help the bees. If you don't think this is wonderful in itself, keep in mind that she started doing this when she was 11. She's a better person than most adults I know and that is before you take into account that her drinks are delicious.

This lemonade is made with real lemon juice and cane sugar. In my opinion a beverage that does not have those two ingredients isn't lemonade, but you'd be surprised with what companies try to pass off. It also has honey in it, you know, because of the bees). This proper beverage is tart and refusing with some sweetness to even it out. On top of all of that there is prickly pear in here, which is actually not a pear at all, but a cactus. It adds a nice fruity flavor that is vaguely melon tasting. Overall it's quite tasty and with the weather finally breaking it's a nice treat. Maybe I'll drive out to the mural and sip on a bottle pretending that I'm a street tough with a soft spot for bees and an indifference to the human race.

From Poland, to Knoxville, TN, and then all the way to Buffalo, NY this brand is quite a world traveler. The question is was all of that travelling worth it? I mean they are bringing that standard blend of energy drink flavor to the people with their original blend, but so are about fifty other companies, many doing it “locally.” To stand out Hype decided to switch things up and while they were doing so they slipping and smashed their dang face on the way down. This drink is definitely a misstep. It has that children's chewable vitamin flavor that most energy drinks have, but along with that they decided to mix the taste of children's aspirin as well as some adult vitamins. Perhaps that wouldn't have been so bad if it sat underneath a nice fruit punch flavor, but things got all mixed up and the fruit punch is the minor flavor in here and all the weirdness is so much stronger than it. It's like someone watered down Hawaiian Punch and then ground up a whole mess of vitamins and aspirin and mixed it in. It's not the best. Functionally it works great and I got the much needed energy I was looking for on an overnight drive, but I was really forcing myself to get through this can.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Please take this moment to enter your bathrooms, open your medicine cabinets, grab your toothbrush, floss, and mouthwash and throw them directly in the trash. You no longer need them. Think of all the hours you have spent throughout your life cleaning your teeth, when you could have simply been drinking a can of this tea after every meal. Say goodbye to toothbrush stains on your shirts (if you don't know how to brush in a proper fashion) and say hello to a ginger green tea that has a lemongrass aftertaste. It tastes like real ginger and it tastes like real lemongrass, and it tastes like real tea. The reason being that they are all real in here and it's wonderful. On top of that perfect blend they add their XyVita compound on top of it and that is what is there for oral care. It is a mixture of Xylitol, vegetable glycerin, sodium bicarbonate, and sodium alginate. Actually my dentist just called and yelled at me. I was also told that 9 out of 10 dentists would tell me that I am a moron for throwing all of my teeth cleaning utensils away. This is not a replacement, but to be used in conjuncture (it reduced the acidity in your mouth). I don't really care. All that matters to me is that it tastes pleasant and that I can't really taste the Xylitol. That could have really messed things up.

Honest has had a lot of tea on the market over the years. Throughout their dozens and dozens of flavors there have been quite a few green teas under different names. I will go out on a limb and say all of them are wonderful. Honest is a company that doesn't mess around and they make nothing but quality products. Looking online, it seems that this is still just the Green Dragon Tea with Passion Fruit. For some reason it doesn't taste the same as I remember. The passion fruit flavor isn't as strong and it's more of just a “just a tad sweet” green tea with a little lemon in it (and some other light flavors). Whatever you want to call it, it's tasty and I'm not complaining. Green tea is always fantastic when it's not buried underneath ridiculous amounts of sweeteners. I'll just take their word for it and sip in pleasure.

Oh boy, this one is a doozy! We don't review many non-ready-to-drink beverages, but when a company contacts us about sending samples for review we aren't going to say no. I mean, they are still things you drink, it just takes a little more work on your end. I was really expecting to be sent a one serving sample of this, but Naked were very nice and sent a full sized 1lb container. It is much appreciated.

So it's been a slow Sunday in mid-April and the weather is pure garbage. I had no plans this afternoon, so I decided to go to the gym and take this for a test drive. The directions say to mix one of two scoops into 8oz of water (or your favorite beverage and mix it thoroughly. The nutritional facts say that one serving is two scoops so I did just that. Unfortunately I have to say that it did not taste all that pleasant. The fruit punch flavor was very much overshadowed by the taste of supplements. It's a bit chemically. I would advise someone to mix it into something other than water to avoid that. If I use it again I'm going to try mixing it into some vanilla seltzer, which seems weird to drink before working out. I'm gonna be all burps.

Okay, so the flavor is not all that great. That can be acceptable, as it is a functional product and not meant for the pleasure of one's taste buds. This is some strong stuff though. It's meant to help push you in your workouts and give you “clean” energy. I can attest that it does that very much. I also had some side effects though. Now, it's happened very rarely, but it has happened that I have gotten the “Niacin Flush” from certain strong energy drinks. For those who don't' know what that is, it is when you take too much vitamin B3 and you get warm, look like you have a sunburn, and experience a tingly/burning /itchy sensation. In the past when it has happened It was in my face and top of my head. With this product my whole body felt insane. If I didn't know what it was I would have been highly concerned, searched Wed MD and convinced myself I was dying from some exotic disease. Being in the know, I just went on with my workout and this product definitely pushed me more than I normally would have. I did feel completely crazy the entire time and was just aware of my entire body. Then when I toweled off sweat my body just wanted to be touched more (not like that you creep). I've never taken Ecstasy, but from how I've seen it portrayed in movies and tv, I'm guessing it feels like this to a way crazier extent. Keep in mind I'm not saying this will happen to everyone, but I would suggest starting off with only one scoop and see how that works out for you. I'm going to try again in a few days on my next gym outing and lower my dose and see how that treats me. Hopefully not feeling like a maniac.

It's never too late to catch up and get with the times. Actually the times seem pretty terrible to me nowadays, so maybe getting with them is not the best of ideas. Let's rephrase that and say it's never too late to change and try to better yourself and expand your world view. Honest gets that. They have an organic line, which is always a plus, but more importantly they have started releasing some mate teas. Sure it's a mix of mate and black tea, but it's still moving in the right direction and I love it. I'm a sucker for mate so any amount of it is a positive to me. I also see this as a great introduction, or a stepping stone if you will, to get people into yerba mate. I can see stepping into it blind being a bit strange as the earthy flavor could be off-putting if you are expecting it to be like black or green tea. This has a mild earth flavor. It's smoother because of the black tea ( and the sugar). It's a great balance between the two. The mango flavor comes from mango puree as well, so that means it's wonderful. I hope they expand their products into a full yerba mate line. Ahh to dream.

This drink brings up an interesting question, out of all of the protein drinks and powders that we have come across in the wild how is this the first one that is coffee flavored? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that coffee is more than likely the #1 most drank beverage in the country and I feel like excluding it a large market (and profit) is being missed. I could see that it might be hard to get a decent coffee flavor in a powder form, but for the ready to drink variety of protein shakes, I don't see an excuse.
Canvas are no dummies and they know a good product when they see one. They have created what Editor Dan (back from the dead) has called a “Dessert Shake” with a decent coffee flavor. It's not super strong, but then again they call it a latte so the milk (coconut milk) is carrying some of the load. Like the Matcha shake of theirs that I have tried this is thick and grainy (in the best way). The only difference is this time the flavor of the coconut sugar is cutting through a bit more. I'm not the biggest coconut fan, so it's a little distracting to me, but for people who are on the coconut train that is going to be nothing but a positive. This is tasty, healthy and ethical. Can you do better than that?

What does MFP stand for? Major Focused Power? Majestic Forest Provider? Metallica Forever Peeps? Ohh Ohh, maybe it's Milk for President. All of the above are wrong. After some internet searching it came out that it actually means Money From Patience, wait no that's not it either. It's really “Most Full Power.” Seeing as it's originally from the Netherlands and this is made in Poland I will chalk that up to a poor translation, though my times I've spend in both countries the English people spoke was not broken at all. The name isn't all that exciting, but the cryptic MFP with no explanation on the can gets the desired effect.

Names aside the flavor of this is what is to be expected from a diet energy drink. It tastes like liquid candy that had all its sugar replaced with a zero calorie substitution. It's nothing new, it's nothing exciting, but it gets the job done. Normally it's hard for me to drink a full diet beverage, but the base flavor of energy drinks is either strong to enough to mask, or blends in with the sucralose garbage flavor and it makes it palatable. So it's got that going for it.