Denmark (3 reviews)
Hyper Malt Original
For a few years I thought of how great it would be if someone would market cereal milk. All different kinds, but particularly Fruity Pebbles and Golden Grams. There is nothing better than that flavor infused cream after you've finished the "solids" portion of your two course breakfast cereal. It's like drinking the bathwater of the gods and sometimes, before moving onto that final stage, I refresh the first, making the inevitable payload that much more savory. It's a harrowing exercise of will power to be certain but like any work-out or period of time without smoking cigarettes, it's more than worth it once you cross that finish line. It is, essentially, the bathwater of TWO gods now. Perhaps they bathed together. Maybe there was just a water shortage and they needed to conserve so as long as the temperature remained comfortable they just wouldn't drain it in-between baths. There is no limit to their hygienic routines as long as your imagination is healthy.
What I'm saying is, though this might sound like a good idea to some (or no one after that unfortunate analogy), I have found upon drinking HYPER MALT ENERGY DRINK that cereal milk is only delicious because the person drinking it worked so hard to make it. This energy drink tastes like someone took a bowl of apple juice, emptied the contents of a box of Wheaties into it, let it sit in the sun for a few days, took it back inside, gagged heartily, then ran the fluid through a colander into a bottle which went directly into my mouth. I don't see cereal milk being a big hit for anyone looking to be refreshed, and I don't see HYPER MALT ENERGY DRINK being a big hit for anyone looking to be energized. Unless of course you only need the energy required to hurriedly rush to the bathroom to spit it out before going back to watching Maury Povich like I did this morning. But at least it saved me the tens of thousands of dollars I was going to invest in my new milk company.
When I asked Keith to rate the drink he said "0 of 5. No wait, NEGATIVE 0 of 5." Our scale only goes to "1" but keep in mind that if it was possible, it would be below that.
- Country
- Denmark
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Energy Drink, Other/Weird
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Keith Buckley - Singer for Every Time I Die on 2/8/2012
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Illy Issimo Cappuccino
I am not one of those dudes who wake up and has a coffee before anything nor am I the guy that has a coffee at any point in the day. "Dude, sometimes you just need that jolt." you might say, but you know what I say? No, dude, I don't. If I'm tired, I'm tired. My body is exhausted from doing stuff all day and needs to relax, not take an adrenaline shot to keep going at the pace I was going at. Sometimes I get down and sure, coffee might make sense, but I push through it and get to the end of the day and sleep like a baby.
Ignoring that entire entry paragraph, today I thought it might be a nice change to give it a whirl. Now I'm not going to drink a drink and then sit around like a turd and wait for the effects to kick in. I'm sure it's there, but I don't care and I'm not looking for it. It's all about taste and not function with this guy. If this were supposed to do something, I would let you know. It's a coffee drink. You know what it does.
Taste. It's, once again, just coffee enough that anyone in the range of "kind of likes the taste of coffee" to "loves coffee" will enjoy. There is enough milk and sugar to smooth it out and leave it with its inherent coffee bitterness. This wasn't bad. It's more "adult" than a Starbuck's Frappuccino because it's not as sweet and still tastes like coffee in its base rather than a melted iced coffee drink.
I got this at a steal from a local discount store so you might be able to do the same. Fifty cents doesn't buy you a lot these days but if it buys you a nice, refreshing coffee drink, wicked.
- Website
- http://www.illyusa.com/
- Country
- Denmark
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Coffee
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 6/28/2011
- Comments
- 2 Comments. Leave a comment.
Vita Malt Malt Pineapple
At first sip, this drink was good. On subsequent sips, this drink was strange and then good again? Why? Initially, it was just different. Then you realized that it was a pretty accurate pineapple taste. There was something off about it, though, and then I think that I narrowed it down. Think of eating a fresh pineapple. Like, cut it yourself fresh. Now erase that thought, go to the worst market you know of and buy the oldest possible can of canned pineapple and make that into a pop.
As a drink, it's not bad. Like I said, it tastes like canned pineapple. Maybe more like a can and pineapple. Goats would love this drink. Tropical goats. It is a lightly carbonated drink and even though you got an initial taste of can, it was worth it because it's some of the best pineapple flavor I've had outside of a real pineapple.
I got this at an Indian market and the label was half Hindi (or whatever language that was) and half English.
- Website
- http://www.vitamalt.com/
- Country
- Denmark
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Soda Pop
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 12/24/2010