GMP Asparagus Juice

Derek's daddy brought this back with him from Korea. It's been sitting in my fridge for months, waiting for the perfect time to review it. Apparently the perfect time was never going to arrive so I grabbed it on my way out the door to a Thirsty Dudes meet up yesterday. I mean is there ever a perfect time to down a can of asparagus juice? Maybe at a family holiday party, but in my world the real stuff is there, so I don't need juice.

At Mike's house we all laughed at the comically out of proportion can on the label. The woman looks so excited to be hanging out on the beach with an obscene amount of asparagus juice. Maybe that's where I went wrong. Perhaps this drink was solely for enjoyment at the beach. You can't argue with that smile. Once our laughter subsided I positioned myself over the sink as I was 90% sure I was going to instantly spit it back out. I cracked open the can and took a sniff. I really had expected this to smell like your pee after you eat a bunch of asparagus. I understand that is completely revolting, but that's how my brain works. Instead of weird pee the liquid in the can smelled like metallic soup. More specifically like spicy vegetable soup that was stored in old tin cans that some kid unearthed while digging in his back yard looking for dinosaur bones. I took as sip and surprisingly was able to swallow. It tasted exactly like it smelled. It was better than I expected, but not as good as I secretly hoped. It tastes absolutely nothing like asparagus, just weird old soup. Imagine if this tasted exactly like a nice lightly salty asparagus that had been sautèed in an obscene amount of garlic. That would be delicious. Instead I get old soup, and no one wants to drink that. Everyone had a sip or two and then the rest went down the drain, where it belongs.