TEAloe Original

Honey, it's so nice out here at the hotel pool. I know I've been depressed, even during our vacation. It's just that it's been really tough at work and I feel like everyone is coming down on me. It's nice to just relax and sit with my feet dangling in the pool with my sunglasses on, the sound of the ocean in the background, babes in bikinis...what? We're on vacation! Don't think I didn't see you turning it on when we were at the bar last night. We're just here to have fun and unwind, right? Right.

Oh, what's this? Aloe and iced green tea? That sounds pretty good. Honey, um, why is that kid looking across the pool at me doing that fingers to eye thing like Robert Di Niro does in all those Focker's movies? Do you think he heard my remark about fat kids wearing shirts in pools? I think he did. What's he doing? Oh...oh no. He's going to do a cannonball. Ahhhh!!!!!

Oh come on, kid. I'm finally relaxing and you got me all wet. I know it's a pool but sometimes you just want to dangle your feet. I am not an old man. I'm thirty one. What a jerk. He got pool water all over me and, oh man, he got it in my drink. I'm sorry, honey. I saw him coming and I should have covered my drink. Well maybe he didn't get that much in there. Let me see. Bleh, he did the damage. This tastes exactly like you would expect it to. It tastes like aloe green tea with pool water in it. The green tea is trying to poke his little head out and you can taste it and you can taste and see the aloe bits but then that strange, plastic, chemical water taste is there to ruin it.

You know what, honey? I think I'm just going to go up to the room and see what's on TV. Now all I can think about is Meet The Fockers and I think I would like to do that. You go turn that charm on and get yourself a free drink. Sorry I'm such a pretty literal wet blanket. If I'm sleeping, wake me up for dinner. I want a sloppy joe.