Moxie - 3 Reviews

Oh look, another Moxie energy drink that tastes absolutely nothing like their classic soda. At least the citrus one had a decent taste. This just tastes like overly, overly diet carbonated fruit punch. This taste like what I imagine diet Tahitian Treat would taste like. It doesn't even have an energy drink taste to it. That would normally be a nice change up, but all I get is the diet taste of sucralose. I don't know what demographic this energy drink is for, but I am certainly not it.

Touring in a band can be a draining activity. You don't get much sleep, and the small amounts you get are generally uncomfortable. On top of that you generally also eat like garbage. Don't get me wrong, it's my favorite thing in the world to do, but after a while I sometimes find myself getting a severe case of soft brain. It's times like that that I reach for a Moxie. Oh you mean you didn't know that the official beverage of Maine, Moxie, was originally created in 1876 to help fight the completely fictitious ailment known as soft brain? Well now you do, and you also know what to do if you ever find yourself in the grips of this infliction.

While I was in Maine, on the previously mentioned tour, I made my band mates stop at a grocery store so I could pick up a 12 pack of Moxie to bring back home, since it is nowhere to be found in Buffalo. When I went to check out I saw two different flavors of Moxie Energy Drink in the cooler at the register. My mind was reeling as to what these could possibly taste like. Obviously the best-case scenario would be liquefied candy mixed with the classic medicinal Moxie flavor. Unfortunately this was not the case. While the drink does contain it there wasn't a strong gentian root flavor (it's what fights the soft brain), but it also didn't taste totally like a typical energy drink. When I started the beverage had a strange orange flavor, but the more I drank the more it tasted like lime. It didn't have a strong taurine flavor to it either. It had a very distinct taste that I couldn't fully place. I want to say it tastes like Skeleteens soda, minus the burn, but I'm not exactly sure that was right on.

While I was disappointed that it didn't taste like one of my favorite sodas that it is it's namesake, this energy drink tasted better than most, but more importantly it tastes different, which is all one can ask for in the energy drink game these days.

You! Hey you there! Look at me when I'm talking to you. I'm not only talking to you, but I'm pointing directly at you. There you go you big oaf. Yes I'm on the bottle label. You're a quick one aren't ya? I need you to do something for me. Why should you help me? Well how often do you find yourself being spoken to by a drawing of a effeminate man on the label of a bottle of soda? That should be reason enough. No I won't tell you my back-story of how I ended up on this label. I've told it to a thousand people at least and I'm tired of telling it.

You see the thing is I'm here on this label telling you to "Drink Moxie" and normally that's not a problem, but this time I have an issue because I have no idea what Blue Cream tastes like. How can I go around telling people to drink this when I've never tasted it? The thing is I'm contractually bound. No I still won't tell you the rest. Just describe the darn soda to me!

Okay, so you're telling me it tastes like a candied cream soda. Not like the classy brewed ones that taste super creamy and have a super strong vanilla taste. So this still taste like vanilla, but with a bunch of sugar in it. What else? Oh it has a slight berry flavor to it. Well golly how would I ever have guessed that. You must have went to one of those fancy learnin' schools. I would have never guessed that in a million years! Get out of here! You're worthless to me!