Pennsylvania Dutch - 1 Review

Nigel is a man with no free time. You see, everyone is always making plans for him. His parents, his boss, his kids, and his wife: all of them always predetermining everything that he does. Nigel wishes he could just sit back in the woods and relax with a nice cold birch beer and just enjoy the scenery. As it turns out he has no time for soda at all. You see his wife had already made plans for him to drink eight large glasses of water a day. Consuming that much water leaves little to no room for him to enjoy a nice frosty soda. It's sad times for Nigel. He remembers a simpler time before everyone told him what to do when he was a child in eastern Pennsylvania. He used to constantly drink Pennsylvania Dutch birch beer. Even now as he is sipping his fifth glass of water for the day he can remember how strong it smelled when he would twist off the top. His nostrils would be instantly greeted by the glorious smell of anise heavy birch beer. Oh man just thinking about that smell lets him pretend that the water he is drinking is actually that self same birch beer. Man, that smell is also apparent in the taste. It's so anise/licorice heavy. Also it had a reddish tint to it, which he always found strange and wondrous. Actually now that he thinks of it that birch beer tasted exactly how he would imagine root beer barrel candy would taste if it was birch been instead of root. Now that's a thought. He could have a batch of candy made to that specification. After all he was the heir to a candy fortune. What better way to spend his company's money and resources? It's not like he worked at British Steel. That would be a horrible life. Instead everyone makes plans for him and tells him what to do, but he will be fine with it, happy even, as soon as he can suck on some birch beer barrel candies while he works.