Blink Energy Water Zesty Lemon-Lime

Blink Energy Water Zesty Lemon-Lime

I was drawn in by the word "zest." Lured in like a kid to candy in the back of a windowless van. Then, much like the kid, I didn't enjoy what happened afterwards. I think you know what happened after the kid got in the van, right? It had his smelly uncle Carl and his quasi-racist grandmother Gertrude in it and they complained about society and "the Blacks" and took him to their house where they watched Jeopardy on a television with three foot tall rabbit ears with tinfoil on the ends that seemed to do nothing since the picture was still terrible. Myself was just brought into a tasteland of zesty floor cleaner and diet sweetener.

The boy and I were in the same place. That place was a position that we didn't want to be in. If we were together, and let it be known, I have met Carl and that experience is filled with mustard stained, sleeveless Megadeth shirts, and cigarette smoke. His grandma is alright in passing but talk to her long enough and you'll start to feel the "those people" phrase being spat out at you so leisurely that it's doubly offensive.

The little boy wouldn't have been better off with this drink. Sure it would have lasted longer but at least he could go to his room filled with broken sixty's toys with no heads and close the door and be done with it. This drink just keeps punishing me until I finished it. It never got better and just was lemon, lime, and a zesty diet.

Little buddy, it's rough out there. Stick it out. Soon you'll be out of there and your mom can wash the filth, stank, and disappointment from your clothes.

Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Energy Drink, Water
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 21st, 2012