Welcome to the international belching competition. This year we have a lot of top notch competitors and we’re hoping to break some records for decibels and for length of belches. Before reigning champion Michelle Dowanowa produces the ceremonial first burp we’d like to announce that our sponsor for this years games is Rockstar Energy. Each of our contestants will be given a can of the new “Sparkling” line of Rockstar in order to produce the largest ball of gas that they can muster from their mouth.
Now I know what you’re thinking, “Aren’t all Rockstar drinks carbonated, why do they need a Sparkling line?” Well that would have been true a few short years ago, but since then the company has delved into teas, sports drinks and various other styles of beverages that are bubble free.
Let me tell you the reign of still energy drinks will come to an end as soon as you crack one of these cans open. They are one of the most carbonated drinks that this announcer has encountered in a long, long time. I took one sip and I was a regular Barney Gumble. We are all in for an auditory treat once the contestants down their cans.
Life is not all burps and games, and we are contractually obligated to give you a bit for information about these energy drinks. First off this is the least diet tasting, sucralose sweetened drink I have ever tasted. You can tell that something is up with the flavor, and that they didn’t use real sugar, but it doesn’t taste like diet first, and cherry citrus second. Overall the flavor is very light. The ridiculous amount of carbonation distracts from the flavor a bit, but that is what some people want. I can certainly think of times in my life where this would be exactly what I need to satiate me. A nice light cherry limeade with a little orange thrown into the mix.
Now if you will all stand as our team of past champions will burp the national anthem’s of all of the participants home countries.
- United States
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on May 18th, 2014
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