Skeleteens Jack Black's Dead Red Root Beer

Pirates are famous for many things; pillaging, plundering, raping, parrots, scurvy and eye patches. I'd like to think that in their heyday they ruled the seven seas with a wooden leg. They set fear into the hearts of every man, woman and child that set foot onto a boat. Through all that there is one thing they never got a firm grasp on: root beer. It's a little known fact that the primary objective of all pirates was to acquire premium ingredients to brew the world's greatest root beer. Unfortunately for them their lack of vitamin c got the best of them and all they created was mediocrity in the beverage world.

Dead Red Root Beer is decent but that's about as far as it goes. It's similar to Barqs in flavor. That may be because this is the only other root beer (besides G33K B33R) that I know of that has caffeine in it. I was expecting this to be special and have that classic Skeleteens burn to it. It did not. I also really thought it was going to be red due to the name, but it's normal caramel root beer colored. Also how awesome would it have been if it were cherry root beer? Why don't companies make different varieties like they do with colas?