Skeleteens (11 reviews)

Skeleteens Jack Black's Blue Cream Soda

Skeleteens Jack Black's Blue Cream Soda

Jack was a pirate. He sailed the seven seas his entire life and even into his death scouring the globe for the greatest treasure ever. That treasure: bottle caps. Jack (who's friend's all called him Randy) had an undying love for the little twist off beauties. No one really knows why, but it's fact. You can even read about it on Wikipedia.

It was because of this love for bottle caps that Jack started to make his own soda. It gave him a chance to design his own caps. It was a dream come true. Unfortunately his shipment got mixed up and he was forced to use Real Soda caps.

So here we have one of Jack's brews. It's a berry cream soda that I can get behind. It has average creaminess, but the pseudo candy berry flavor is amazing. This is similar to the blue Crush, except it's made with cane sugar. You really can't go wrong with the Skeleteen's like in my eyes.

Website
http://www.realsoda.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on 7/28/2011
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Jack Black's BLUE CREAM SODA - "blue is good for you, ya scurvy dawg!" , 12-Ounce Glass Bottle (Pack of 12)

Skeleteens Jack Black's Dead Red Root Beer

Skeleteens Jack Black's Dead Red Root Beer

Pirates are famous for many things; pillaging, plundering, raping, parrots, scurvy and eye patches. I’d like to think that in their heyday they ruled the seven seas with a wooden leg. They set fear into the hearts of every man, woman and child that set foot onto a boat. Through all that there is one thing they never got a firm grasp on: root beer. It’s a little known fact that the primary objective of all pirates was to acquire premium ingredients to brew the world’s greatest root beer. Unfortunately for them their lack of vitamin c got the best of them and all they created was mediocrity in the beverage world.

Dead Red Root Beer is decent but that's about as far as it goes. It's similar to Barqs in flavor. That may be because this is the only other root beer (besides G33K B33R) that I know of that has caffeine in it. I was expecting this to be special and have that classic Skeleteens burn to it. It did not. I also really thought it was going to be red due to the name, but it's normal caramel root beer colored. Also how awesome would it have been if it were cherry root beer? Why don't companies make different varieties like they do with colas?

Website
http://www.realsoda.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Root Beer, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on 7/9/2011
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Jack Black's ROOT BEER DEAD RED "Dead Ahead" , 12-Ounce Glass Bottle (Pack of 12)

Skeleteens Love Potion No. 69 Pink

Skeleteens Love Potion No. 69 Pink

Skeleteens were way ahead of their time in the soda timeline. They made weird and unusual sodas while the rest of the world was content with the classics. On top of that they were also way ahead of the game in terms of energy drinks. They played a large role in my beverage consumption as a teenager and they will always have a place in my heart. I'm so glad that Real Soda has taken over the drink line and it has seen the light of day again.

I love this drink, but my question is why does it taste nothing like it's purple counterpart? The purple Love Potion is grape flavored with a burn to it. This is more of a berry flavor with the slightest memory of a burn. It actually has a candied flavor with a kick to it. I don't really know how to explain it. It tastes like it should burn your throat, but it doesn't. It's definitely a unique flavor.

As with most of the Skeleteens' sodas I could do without all of the wacky sayings on the label, but I know that was part of the charm of these drinks when I was 15.

Website
http://www.realsoda.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Energy Drink, Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on 6/24/2011
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LOVE POTION NO.69 helps keep your heart on, 12-Ounce Glass Bottle (Pack of 12)

Skeleteens Brainalizer

Skeleteens Brainalizer

Apparently it's ginger day on Thirsty Dudes. Our past three reviews have all been about ginger based drinks. This resulted in me having celebratory veggie dogs. In my infinite wisdom I decided to put some pickled ginger on the dogs. Amazing idea. It gave them a nice little kick. To wash down this wonderful concoction I decided to break open this bottle of Brainalizer. I had no idea what it was supposed to taste like, just that it was a "carbonated herbal beverage." As it turns out it tastes like raspberry or cherry ginger ale, but instead of ginger it was made with other roots and herbs. It's way better than I expected. Since honey is used as the sweetener, it's not overly sugary like most sodas. It also has a slight burn to it, which I always enjoy.

The website on the bottle wasn't up anymore, so I did some research on the internets. It turns out that this was originally a part of the Skeleteens line. That makes sense after reading the ingredients (American and Siberian Ginseng, Gotu Kola, Goldenseal, Dill Weed, Echinacea, Ginko Biloba, Dandelion, African Capsicum). I'm pretty sure this was an early version of an energy drink. Like myself (ginger on hotdogs) it seems that the folks at Skeleteens were visionaries. I applaud them for their work.

Website
http://www.realsoda.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Honey
Categories
Energy Drink, Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on 5/15/2011
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Skeleteens Brain Wash Blue

Skeleteens Brain Wash Blue

I have been searching for this for a long, long time. No lie, like close to 15 years. I always hoped to stumble upon it in some random store while traveling around. I eventually found a handful of places online where you could order "rare" sodas, but they were always out of stock of the blue Brain Wash. I was certain that this drink had gone the way of Crystal Pepsi, Orbits, and Ecto Cooler. On a recent trip to Soda Pop Central up in Canada I was shocked to find a bunch of bottles of it. I grabbed a couple (along with four assorted cases) and hit the road giddy as a small child.

Like many things in life, when you search for it for long enough you build up these absolutely crazy expectations for it. Once I'd get my hands on a bottle that "no woman person in the history of the world is having drinking better sex soda than the sex soda you are having drinking with Ian Brainwash... in my head. That was the worst paraphrase in the history of this site, for the record. As it turns out it's still decent, but it did not live up to the holiness I had built up in my head. It tastes like liquid Smarties mixed with some low-grade chemical acid. I blame the burning acid burning to the jalapeno oil that is listed in the ingredients. I am a glutton for drinks that have a burn to them (I drank a bottle of Prometheus Springs' Lemon Ginger earlier in the day) so I really enjoyed that aspect of the soda.

It also stains everything it comes in contact with blue. I'm not just talking like how Blow Pops stain your tongue blue. After I drank the bottle I looked in the mirror and my tongue appeared to have a thick layer of bright teal paint on it. It was completely solid looking. This drink did a better job painting my tongue than I did painting the walls of my bedroom.

Here is a final thought for you. I now believe that I could not find bottles of this anywhere because Mr. Brainwash of "Exit Through the Gift Shop" fame purchased all that he could find. He then pounded the lot of them and that is how he became insane. I think there's a documentary specifically about that. Seriously, it's streaming on Netflix right now.

Website
http://www.realsoda.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Energy Drink, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on 4/10/2011
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BRAIN WASH "for a change of mind", 12-Ounce Glass Bottle (Pack of 12)

Skeleteens Jack Black's Blood Red Cola

Skeleteens Jack Black's Blood Red Cola

This is another member of the Skeleteen's line. I only vaguely remember this one from my high school days. It has the "classic" Skeleteen's tag lines on it. "Third time available in 399 years," "From Black's last raid," and "Drink up you scurry dog!"

Blood Red Cola = Cherry Cola with a pirates twist. The twist is really just the image and not much to do with the flavor (although it does have Brazilian guarana in it). It's a decent cherry cola. There's really nothing that stands out in it, but it's still very enjoyable.

With the popularity of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies a few years ago, I'm kind of shocked these didn't become more popular. I think people would have eaten it up during the whole pirate craze. You know, all of the terrible "dad jokes" that were going around about the sea dogs. Remember kids, dressing like a pirate never looks cool. Don't ever do it, even on Halloween. Don't disrespect the pirates in that way. Just drink the soda. Celebrate their life and times that way.

Website
http://www.realsoda.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on 3/24/2011
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Jack Black's COLA BLOOD RED "Jack Black Is Back!" , 12-Ounce Glass Bottle (Pack of 12)

Skeleteens Rat Bastard Root Beer

Skeleteens Rat Bastard Root Beer

Dear Rat Bastard Root Beer, you have a really stupid name. I mean come on Skeleteens, you have a quality line of sodas, but you just try to hard to be "alternative" and "in your face" with your titles. When I was a young teenager I thought it was funny, but now as a grown ass man, it just seems childish. Yes, yes I know I'm a 31 year old that reviews soda pop, and that is pretty childish in it's own rite. Like a disappointed mother I think you're better than that.

Even though this has most of the same ingredients as all of the Skeleteens' sodas, it doesn't have a huge bite to it. It's pretty straightforward for a root beer. It has jasmine and clove in it, but I didn't really notice them too much until the last sip. Even then it wasn't very strong. I really expected it to be a unique root beer, but it would fit right in with the rest of the gang. Now remember Skeleteens, you don't need to resort to cheap promotional tactics. Let your soda speak for itself. It can do it. I have faith in you and I love you. Now wash up. Dinner is almost ready.

Website
http://www.realsoda.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Root Beer, Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on 1/29/2011
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Rat Bastard Root Beer 12oz.

Skeleteens Fukola Cola

Skeleteens Fukola Cola

We're now at a cabin in the middle of the woods. There was snow much snow to shovel in order to even get into the cabin, it was ridiculous. I should have drunk this before I shoveled. Like all of the Skeleteens sodas, there is an obscene amount of caffeine in here. I bet it would have taken me two minutes to shovel it all. Cause you know caffeine gives you superpowers. You didn't know that? Wiki it, it's science.

This soda is originally from the mid-90s, and it obviously they marketed it towards the alternative culture. When I was younger I thought it was awesome, but now that I'm older it's pretty cheesy. I can overlook it though because it's an interesting cola. Since it's a Skeleteens it has a butt load of herbs in it, which always give their drinks a unique under flavor. The label says it has HFCS in it, but stamped on the bottle it says Real Cane Sugar. I think they are both wrong. To me it tastes like it was sweetened with pixie sticks. It's pretty awesome. It falls somewhere between an olde timey cola, like Fentimans, and a modern one, like RC.

If this was readily available all the time, I doubt I would get it very often. Since I had to special order it, if I ever saw it, I would probably buy a case.

Website
http://www.realsoda.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on 1/15/2011
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Fukola Cola Soda: 24 Count

Skeleteens Brain Wash Red

Skeleteens Brain Wash Red

This is it. This is what I have waited about 15 years to have again. I drank this all the time in high school (well the blue Brain Wash, this is the red one). I'll tell you something, it's still awesome. It tastes like no other soda I've ever had. This is definitely unusual. I think cherry is supposed to be the base flavor of this. You get a slight hint of it, and then the craziness sets in. I have no frame of reference for what the compare the flavor to. It's highly carbonated, and it has got a bit of a burn to it. Why is that? Oh because it has jalapeno oil in it. What other company would do that? I love it. It's also insanely caffeinated due to the herbal blend (and the straight up caffeine) in it.
Dan said it's tastes like Spencer Gifts, he's a bit off. It tastes more like something you would buy from a "head shop," which happens to be where I would buy them in high school. This drink should always have a place reserved right in-between the "bubblers" and the bootleg "live-side" Nirvana, Pearl Jam and Red Hot Chili Pepper CDs.

Website
http://www.realsoda.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Categories
Energy Drink, Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on 12/28/2010
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BRAIN WASH "for a change of mind", 12-Ounce Glass Bottle (Pack of 12)

Skeleteens Black Lemonade

Skeleteens Black Lemonade

Adventure number two in the return to the world of Skeleteens didn't go as amazingly as number one. The Black Lemonade is still pretty rad, but it's not something that I'm going to crave.
On first sip, I was in love. This is really strong bitter slightly carbonated lemonade. The problem is it's a bit too strong. About 1/3 of the way through the 12oz bottle I could already tell I was starting to get a stomachache. I took about an hour break, and now I'm back into it.
Now that I'm at it again, it now tastes like carbonated lemonade that had some candy dissolved into it. You know how cola tastes when you drink it through a licorice straw? It's a similar effect as that, but with a different candy.
This also has all the crazy herbal ingredients in it, so I'm sure I'll have an energy freak out shortly.
Oh and they weren't kidding. This stuff is black. Hold it up to a light and it is just darkness, it doesn't have a red or blue tint at all.

Website
http://www.realsoda.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink, Lemonade, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on 12/27/2010
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Black LEMONADE SCARY SODA"Once you've had black you'll never go back", 12-Ounce Glass Bottle (Pack of 12)
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