Corn Syrup (6 reviews)
Venom Energy Black Mamba
It’s official I am now terrified of black mambas. I was all, “Oh, they are just venomous snakes. You get bit, someone sucks out the poison, or you get some antidote and you’re good to go.” Think again friendo. The black mamba is one of the most deadly venomous snakes in the world. If you get bit, it can take less than 20 minutes to kill you, and according to the internets, which we know never lies, “Chances of surviving the bite is less than none.” On top of that that are between 10 and 15 feet long. That is one big friggin` snake. It’s terrifying I tell you.
Knowing the above information I now think this drink’s tagline should be “Chances of feeling tired or sluggish is less than none.” Except they would spell less “lessssssss” to imitate the sound that snakes make, or don’t really make in real life. This looks like a tiny can, but it’s really the same amount of liquid as a normal size Red Bull. They are just pulling some spatial magic. I believe it’s supposed to be a fruit punch flavored energy drink, but it tastes more like red Pixie Stix. I’m okay with that, and so should you. Sure it’s got a bunch of artificial ingredients in it that would probably poison you if you consumed them in a large enough quantity, but hey they call it Venom for a reason. Now drink up and face the snake. Okay that was a better tag line. Someone really needs to hire us to write copy.
- Website
- http://www.venomenergy.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 4/7/2012
- Buy Now
- Venom Energy Drink - Black Mamba
Venom Energy Killer Taipan Mango
I was born a snake handler, and I’ll die a snake handler. Some do it for spiritual guidance. I do it for profit and energy. You see, what most snake handlers don’t know is that if you take the venom of specific breeds of snakes and mix them with the proper ingredients they make one heck of an energy drink. Recently I’ve been into the sweet juice produced by the taipan. A lot of people have compared the taste of it to mangos, but I really think it has a bit of a pineapple zest to it. I see the mango there too, but if anything it’s a hybrid of the two. After I mix it together with my other ingredients it tastes like someone mixed a cheap pineapple soda with some mango juice. It’s fairly tasty and the energy boost it gives you is decent enough.
So anyways, every couple of months or so I hop on a plane over to Australia, wrangle up a whole mess of the small slithery creeps and extract away. When I have it all ready I fill up a bunch of vials and umm..hide them on my person. Customs doesn’t take to kindly to people smuggling snake venom over international borders. It’s an uncomfortable 20-hour flight, but as I said I’m hooked on the snake juice. Sure it’s a hard life, but the end results are worth it. You should see my arms. They are more scarred up than a 15 year-old art student who only listens to what Robert Smiths tells them to do. It’s not a pretty sight.
- Website
- http://www.venomenergy.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Energy Drink
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 2/18/2012
Welch's Blueberry Kiwi Blast
Here is a story that may make you think that I was once and possibly still am a savage. In the early 2000's I started my life in touring bands. At the time I was completely broke, but all I wanted to do was tour as much as I could. As a result I rarely ate. After my first month tour I came home and I had lost over 15 pounds. My mom said I looked like a skeleton. I see it as worth it. I spent that entire tour eating basically nothing but peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. We had a cooler in the van that had a bottle of barbeque sauce in it along with my PB&J. It created a very unique smell. It was so strange. In those adventures I always had Welch's grape jelly. There really is no point to telling that story other than I had a cooler in a van that I lived in that reeked of Welch's grape jelly, peanut butter and barbeque sauce and that is kind of gross.
This is my first go at a Welch's non-grape drink although it does have grape juice in it. Would there be an impending lawsuit if there weren’t? I was expecting this to be a very bland generic fruit drink, but you can actually make out all three of the fruit flavors. It's mostly grape and blueberry, but there is an aftertaste of kiwi, which is pretty rad. I can't say that I would drink this very often, as I tend to pick juices that don't have added sugar in them, but in a pinch this works just fine.
Oh yeah I finally found a use for that barbeque sauce. I would up getting a bunch of veggie chicken patties that I would put on the dashboard to defrost/warm them up. Slathered in barbeque they were a little bit of okay.
- Website
- http://www.welchs.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 7/9/2011
Turkey Hill Pomegranate Lemonade
I always knew Turkey Hill made a damn good iced tea. When I was first getting into iced tea many years ago, Turkey Hill was my go-to brand of choice. I always knew they made lemonade as well, but could never tear myself away from the iced tea. I also was afraid they would make bad lemonade so I just decided to pretend it wasn't there. It's like the father whose kid is a troublemaker and he'd rather just look the other way and pretend it's not happening rather than deal with the heartbreak.
Thankfully, this pomegranate lemonade is not going to be sent to 'juvi'. It's not an amazing flavor, but it's definitely better than most. If we want to keep with the child analogy, this would be a B+ student. It does a great job and is above most of it's class, but it's still has a little bit of work to do if it wants to get into Yale.
- Website
- http://turkeyhill.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Lemonade
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 6/20/2011
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Nature's Nectar Sparkling Red Grape
What better way to ring in another year with a nice, tall glass of refreshing sparkling grape juice? Kids love it because they feel like their parents even though their parents drink about 6 nice, tall glasses of the real stuff when the kids get scorned when they reach for their second glasses. What goes for more in hospitals? Kidneys or teeth? I'm no doctor, but I am a scientist and I will say that this was not the best drink I've ever had. Do I need to be a scientist to say that? No, but you trust my opinion more.
It was fruity, yes, and it might have been grape-y but it wasn't all there. I was really hoping for a sequel to the Apple Cider so I went to the store and bought everything different type they had. I was wrong. Oops. It just wasn't all there for me. Sure, some people would drink it and not care or tell the difference, but I do this for a living (not really) and you people deserve the truth. The truth? You can do better. Happy New Year. You can do better.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Sparkling
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 1/1/2011
Nature's Nectar White Grape and Peach
I did not expect to like this. I don't know why, but I didn't. For this I am sorry, double N. There is a very good, light peach taste. It tastes like a real peach. There is a little bit of grape juice, too, but peach is way more prominent.
My mom got this in a six-pack from Aldi's, who is the umbrella manufacturer of this company.
It was a bit high in sugar (44g) and had quite a bit of calories (180) so this is a "once in a while" treat.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Corn Syrup
- Categories
- Juice
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 10/16/2010