Fruit & Protein - 2 Reviews

I'm sorry your dessert has taken so long to get to you. As you may know this is our opening weekend and we did not expect to be this busy. Who would have known that this many people in the city would be interested in a vegan restaurant? We've been completely slammed, and it's great, but exhausting.

I know you ordered the mango peach soy ice cream, but what I didn't know was that the kitchen put it out for me to drop off to you, and I got caught up with another table. As a result it ended up melting, and unfortunately that was the last bowl of it we had left. I poured the melted mess into a glass for you, in case you still wanted it. I'll take that and your drinks off of the bill. I'm sorry again.

What's that you're offended that I would offer you soy ice cream melt? Well fine, maybe I will drink it myself! MMM…€¦this is actually really good. If I didn't know this was supposed to be frozen I would think this was a nice thick drink. Well, I guess it's not too thick, but thicker than most. You can really taste both of the fruit flavors in here. You two messed up royally by not accepting this. It's delicious and so darn smooth. I bet Silk could put this in cartons and it would fly off the shelves. Seriously, you don't know what you're missing you fools. Maybe next time you won't be so rude to your server and good things will come to you.

Barry, stop our crying. You know that every time you get eat ice cream you get distracted by something else and then it melts. Of course you then get upset and the crying and yelling starts. I'm sick of it. I don't care that you've been diagnosed with ADHD, you're just a big baby. If this keeps happening I hear the coach is going to stop inviting to you to get ice cream after our baseball games. Imagine that, life without ice cream from mini plastic baseball helmets. Well at least you didn't have a cone, so you can still spoon up the melted mess. By the way, who the hell gets berry ice cream? In a world of chocolate, peanut butter and mint, who chooses berry? You're not going to eat your melt? Well it looks like you really are a baby. Give it to me, I'll eat it you wasteful baby!

This tastes a lot like the drink my sister always has in the fridge. She's a vegan, so she always has weird stuff in there. Yeah this definitely tastes like that protein drink she always has, and always yells at me for drinking. I always sneak some because it reminds me of melted ice cream. Well, I guess melted “soy cream.” Basically it's a bunch of berry juice mixed with soymilk with some plant-based protein added. It's basically like a berry creamsicle. My sister always boasts that it doesn't taste chalky like other protein drinks, since there is no whey in it. Whatever it tastes good so I drink it, and she yells at me.

You really are a baby Barry. You're just lucky that you always hit homeruns. How did such a baby get so good at baseball?