Green - 3 Reviews

As each one of my family members drank this we all said the same thing, "Smells like strawberries. Tastes like nothing." and that was absolutely true. Where did the flavor go? Was it stolen? Was it stolen to pay the price on someone who was a friend, family or coworker of the company's head? People can get into some sketchy situations and if you stick by your friends, you'll do some crazy things. While I'm not saying that Doreen from the accounting department isn't worth sacrificing 98% of the flavor of this tea, I might ask if Skip from accounts receivable might take one for the team so that we could have it back.

This tea tastes like nothing. It smells like fresh, real strawberries and then you take a sip and ask the age old question, "Am I dead?" It doesn't taste like anything, including the green tea base that should also be there. It might taste like the aftertaste of a strawberry. It tastes like memories. Sad memories of what could have been. Sad thoughts of what might happen to Skip so that you can enjoy unsweetened tea. We all have dreams. Skip might not for long, though.

I had a whole dumb thing written about how the U2 song from Batman Forever was actually about this tea, and then I double checked and realized that the word tease is nowhere in the title and I'm just a dumb dummy. Well that threw my sad excuse for comedy out the window.

Now for once I'll just be straight with you. This is a more than decent honey green tea. It's a bit on the sweeter side of the spectrum, but it doesn't wander into the territory of “How can people drink this?” It's actually got a nice sweetness if a sweetened tea is what you're looking for. You can still taste the green tea beneath the sweetener, the honey and the fruit flavors.

What I like the most about this is that TEAse didn't feel the need to pound the pomegranate and acai flavors into our faces. They are two flavors that are normally very strong in the beverages they are found in, but in here there are fairly light. They add just a touch of flavor to the tea and that is how I like my teas flavored. Sure I could have done with a bit less sweetener, but I'm not everyone and a lot of people like their teas sweet. This is for them and I think they will really enjoy it.

What a misleading bottle. When I came across this in a gas station in Ann Arbor, MI I thought that it was some kind of weird functional weight loss beverage. It has that certain look about it that I associate with such drinks. The fact that it says “Natural Metabolism Booster” fairly large at the top and “A Wellness Drink” at the bottom only solidified my thoughts. The thing about solids is that sometimes they melt. There is nothing fancy about this drink at all. It's not a cure all, a meal supplement, nor will it cure baldness. What is contained in this bottle is simply a cane sugar sweetened green tea with honey and ginseng in it.

When you break it down, there is not much difference between this and an Arizona's green tea, with the exception of a better sweetener and probably higher quality versions of the ingredients. It tastes like a fairly sweet green tea with honey and ginseng, which is exactly what it is. I don't know why they went over the top with the packaging. If I didn't need to review this for Thirsty Dudes, I would have passed right over it, which would have been a shame, because it has a nice taste to it that I thoroughly enjoy.