Celsius (10 reviews)
Celsius Apple Orchard Blend
Something must have gone terribly awry at ye olde apple orchard. You see I have this can of Celsius fitness drink that was made from the harvest of the orchard and it tastes like the entire orchard was marinated in pesticides, or that it was stewing in napalm. Perhaps this is actually made from the soil of the orchard that old apples had rotted in to. No I think it's actually apples covered in napalm. You see this has only the faintest apple taste to it. I think that might even be a stretch. In a blind taste test I would never in a million years be able to pick out that this is supposed to be apple flavored. It literally tastes like poison, like I'm drinking some fluid that is supposed to go in a car, but someone has apple artificial sweetener to it. I can't believe I finished the can earlier. I just needed to keep up the energy so Mike and I could talk all night scheming of what our plan of attack would be if we ever made it on to the TV show "Take the Money and Run." I bet we could totally get away with it. We're crafty and being imprisoned for 48 hours doesn't scare us. We're strong willed. Oh yeah, we were also riding our bikes for several hours while we were discussing this. Now It's almost 4 hours later. I'm sore, I'm all hyped up, and I can still taste this poison on my tongue. For shame Celsius. You can do better than this.
- Website
- http://www.celsius.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Erythritol
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 8/26/2011
Celsius Sparkling Orange
A couple of friends and I were planning on riding to Niagara Falls on our bikes today. It was close to, if not over, 90 degrees out but we figured we'd be riding next to the river the whole time, so it should be cooler. It was, but it was still pretty hot. Before we left I downed this can of Celsius. I definitely enjoy their sparkling drinks over their teas. They both taste so overly diet (they are weight loss drinks what so I don't expect otherwise) but the bubbles mask it a bit. This tasted like a really cheap diet orange soda that you would find at Aldi or some such discount grocery store. It wasn't the greatest, but for what it is and what it does I can't really expect a gem. I definitely felt an energy burst from it, and I will assume it helped burn calories. So I downed the can pretty fast, let out a humungous burp and hit the pedals.
We made it about halfway through Wheatfield when we decided to stop at a gas station and refill our water bottles. We were sitting outside sipping on some crisp cold water when suddenly my front tire let out all its air. It was loud and it was fast. The bike was laying on the ground for about ten minutes without being touched for ten minutes before it happened. I blame the sun. I really think it got to hot and burst. Stupid sun, you're just fighting dirty because I put on SPF 85 sunscreen!
- Website
- http://www.celsius.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Elixir, Energy Drink, Sparkling, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 7/17/2011
Celsius Iced Tea Lemon
I really should hate these drinks. They are loaded with sucralose and have a diety/chemical taste to them. Basically they are diet energy drinks that are supposed to help you burn more calories. I don’t know if it’s just the normal energy drink ingredients that help you burn calories because you are all hyped up, or if there is something else involved. With all of that being said, I somehow don’t hate them. There is something alluring about these drinks. This one in particular is kind of decent. It taste like iced tea and energy drink mixed together with a whole bunch of fake sugar. If someone was used to diet drinks I think this would actually be pretty good to them. I can vouch for the fact that they do give you energy and a bit of the jitters as an added bonus.
- Website
- http://www.celsius.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink, Iced Tea
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 7/7/2011
- Buy Now
- Drink Lemon Iced Tea 4 Packets
Celsius Green Tea Peach Mango
Jay has been hyping this drink up to me for a while. I don't think it was this flavor, but he swears by it and bought a case for himself. For a guy who tries several new drinks a day to buy a whole case of one flavor means a lot.
Most people wouldn't dream of drinking something that is supposed to give you energy at 1:45 am. Luckily, I'm not most people. I am very much a night owl and usually get my best work done between the hours of 10pm and 4am. I've only had a few sips so far and I'm already feeling much more awake then I was 20 minutes ago as I was lugging my laundry up from the basement. So for functionality, this is awesome!
As far as taste goes, much like Jay's experience with the raspberry acai flavor, this leaves a lot to be desired. It has a strong green tea flavor, which is great for someone who loves green tea (I am not one of those people). The peach mango flavors are much more subtle, and are almost afterthoughts in each sip. And then of course you have the fake sugar (sucralose) which makes it all the more undesirable. It's cool to have a non-carbonated, non-soda like energy drink for a change. Unfortunately, I won't be running to the store and buying a case of this flavor.
- Website
- http://www.celsius.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 6/24/2011
Celsius On-The-Go Sticks Berry
The thing about caffeine is that it makes me go a mile-a-minute and makes my hands go even faster. My typing of this review could break land speed records but the efficiency in which I type would make poor Mavis Beacon throw up. I'm more concerned with slamming down keys with speed rather than spelling things correctly and hitting that blasted "Backspace" key just slows me down. No, I'm not going to leave you with some unintelligible mess because that would be reckless.
Years ago, I used to work at a local grocery store. I didn't hate it, but I hated the focus that management, or as some like to refer to as "the man", had. See, cashiers are the end of the shopping experience. It's my face that would win or break their shopping experience and it was my awesome attitude and demeanor that would win your heart forever. Since "the man" wanted me to be faster and talk less, I was more of a machine than a person. This I didn't like. I could cash and bag just as fast if I could talk but no. Punch in. Punch out. Speed not service. That really bothered me. Had I known about this product, I would have drunk one before every shift and set the place ablaze. I would have rung your entire order of 251 products before you could get them all out of the cart. I would intrude on your personal space and start taking things out of your cart. I would have no regard for your safety and put things like raw chicken in with your baby toys and put laundry detergent in with your apples and not care. It's all about speed, after all, right? Safety comes second to speed. I would sneak off right at the start of a shift, grab a glass, fill it with approximately 12 - 16 ounces of water, stir in this powder and knock a shift out.
I didn't hate the flavor. It wasn't any different than the other Celsius flavors so if you love them, you've got another one that you can fit in any drawer you can throw at it. If you haven't had any Celsius drinks, they're a little bitey but that's the sucralose. Flavor-wise they're on par with most diet drinks, which is good because you can't taste that you're basically drinking straight caffeine. You could taste the berry and if I had one complaint, it would be that it didn't really mix well. It's not old stock and it clumped a little bit, but it didn't really taste any different when I was drinking it.
So if you are in the business where you've got to do repetitious tasks and you don't have to be terribly precise, this could be the product for you. My hands are going to cramp up and my keyboard is going to start smoking any minute.
- Website
- http://www.celsius.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 6/14/2011
Celsius Green Tea Raspberry Acai
Some drinks have a special purpose and when reviewing those drinks it's hard to decide what is more important flavor or functionality. The Celsius drinks score great in the realm of functionality. I can't say whether or not it burns the calories on it's own, but it definitely gives you more energy to exercise. When I drink one of these before jumping on my bike I end up riding way longer than I normally would.
On the side of flavor they sometimes leave something to be desired. That is because of their good friend sucralose. The sweetener that tastes sweet in all the wrong ways. I wish they would just switch over to stevia. If you're not going with real sugar stevia is the way to go in my book.
This is the best tasting Celsius I've had thus far. I think that's because it's a tea and not a "soda." It still has the sucralose taste, but it's masked a bit by the tea. It basically tastes like a diet raspberry tea. I don't taste the acai at all, but really who needs it when you have raspberry in the mix?
I've been inside for far to long today. This can is now empty so I'm going to go jump on my bike and ride around the city for a while. Try not to hit me.
- Website
- http://www.celsius.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 6/1/2011
Celsius Sparkling Wild Berry
So far this has been my least favorite of the Celsius line. The sucralose in this is just overpowering. It somehow tastes like a diet ginger drink with some diet berry flavoring added to it. If you're used to the diet taste it's probably tastes fine to you. I didn't really enjoy it at all. I will still give this a three-bottle rating though as it gave me all the energy I needed to exercise. So much in fact that Mike and I rode our bikes for nearly 30 miles last night and I didn't feel exhausted at all. Hopefully it also actually burned off those extra calories like it promised to as well.
- Website
- http://www.celsius.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink, Sparkling, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 5/20/2011
Celsius Shot Calypso Punch
I opened up the paper today and this is what the headline read: "Thirsty Dudes Makes Reviewers Fat." Print doesn't lie my friends. I can't speak for Thirsty Neuls, but I know Mike and I have each put on weight since we started this website. How could we not? Do you know how much our sugar consumption has increased it's ridiculous. At this pace we'll be starring in the next installment of the Big Mamma's House franchise (for the record I've never see any of those movies). Instead of cutting down on the amount of drinks I imbibe for the sake of Thirsty Dudes, I've cut down the rest of my diet. Also, since the weather is nice I've been exercising a lot more. Specifically I've been riding my bike a decent amount every day.
We had received these "Ultimate Fitness Partner" drinks a couple of months ago, so I figured I'd review the rest of them as I try to lose some weight. The other ones I've had haven't been too bad, but like most things in a concentrated form this tasted like poison. It's as if someone grabbed a bottle of booze to spike the punch at a high school dance, but instead of grabbing the bottle with three X's on it, they accidentally grabbed the bottle with three skull and crossbones on it. Has there ever been punch at dances since the 60's?
So this may taste like Poison Punch (I think that was the name of Mike's band when he was in junior high) it did seem to have the desired effect. I can't confirm that I burned more calories, but it certainly gave me more energy while I was out riding. I was exhausted when I went out, but about 10 minutes into my ride the drink kicked in and I rode for way longer than I expected.
For flavor I would have given this drink a negative 5, but for it's functionality I will give it a 3. I really need to stay away from "shot" drinks.
- Website
- http://www.celsius.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 5/10/2011
- Comments
- 1 Comment. Leave a comment.
Celsius Strawberry Kiwi
Wooooo.....mistakes. Look. I am not responsible for myself. Here's the new deal. No, not Teddy Roosevelt's "New Deal", but my house's new deal. Monday and Tuesday I stay home and watch Max, my little dude. I have this thing where I work too hard and don't make time to eat. I did eat a yogurt at about 11 but that's it. Now it's 3:30 and my stomach is aching for nutrition, but who cares because Max is sleeping and I can finally lay down some code. So I'm working hard, got thirsty about a half hour ago and decided, yeah, Celsius.
I weigh 150 pounds. I don't eat terribly well, but I don't eat a lot so it all balances out. Celsius would aid me in losing more weight, even though all I'm doing is running Max up and down the stairs only to find out that he was going to wait until I have his diaper off to pee. Jerk. That tiny jerk. So I drink it and it's something. It's diet-y, and even though there is some element of a fruit flavor, there is this diet, burning undertone, and it kicks in fast. You see, they replaced the calories with caffeine is bugging me out, much like John Leguizamo in "House of Buggin'". My hands are shaking and my torso feel hot, like it is summertime and I'm wearing a vest like a stupid idiot.
All that being said, I guess it's doing what it's supposed to. I'm not working out, per-se, but I am typing a mile a minute and I've been doing stairs like it was that strange time in your high school gym class and you did step aerobics like a bunch of girls. Yeah, I said it. Girls do step aerobics. Men know that they have stairs at home that women, ironically, hate going up and down.
- Website
- http://www.celsius.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink, Sparkling, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 4/11/2011
Celsius Sparkling Ginger Ale
As far as I'm concerned as of today winter is finally over in Buffalo. It was 50 degrees and sunny. Not a cloud in the sky. To celebrate I went on my first decent bike ride of the year. I was planning on just doing a little ride, but every time I reached a destination I decided to keep going. By the time I had listened to Bowie's Ziggy Stardust and Aladdin Sane was coming to an end 14 miles had passed and I was at my front door. From here on out I will solely use David Bowie albums to measure distance. It's the new science. Can you feel it on the horizon?
Before I left on this little adventure I decided it was as good a time as any to try out a Celsius drink aka "Your ultimate fitness partner." It's a mostly natural drink that promises to burn calories, reduce body fat, build lean muscle and give you lasting energy. By the end of my ride I was toned and semi-ripped like Michelangelo's sculpture of David. I'm talking like busting out of my shirt muscular. I'm a scientist, so I cannot tell a lie. That's part of the scientific oath right? I know I had you all convinced that I now look like Mr. Universe era Arnold Schwarzenegger, but truth be told I still look like a semi-dumpy 30 year old from Buffalo. I did have a decent amount of energy on the ride, and I feel way better than I expected to after not really riding in the past 5-6 months (yes our stupid winter can really last that long). So the drink has that going for it.
As for the flavor of it, when I took my first sip I was shocked at how good of a ginger ale taste it had. Within half a second I changed my mind as the diet hell of sucralose set in. Bear in mind that I have no tongue for diet drinks. I know there is a whole world of people out there that don't mind them. If you are one of those people and you're trying to lose weight, or put on some muscle, give this a chance. I think you will be pleasantly pleased with this ginger ale.
- Website
- http://www.celsius.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Categories
- Diet, Energy Drink, Soda Pop, Sparkling, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 4/7/2011
