Cane Sugar (605 reviews)

Stirrings Bitter Lemon

Stirrings Bitter Lemon

Ugh. You know what? Here's what you can do...

Go to the store and buy some chocolate pudding and a bottle of pop. Then, go over to your local shopping mall, go into the bathroom, take out your pudding cup and make a mess on the floor with it. Make an anonymous call to the mall service desk letting them know that the bathroom is in disrepair and they should clean it immediately. Wait in the fake shrubs and bushes for the cleaning staff to arrive and drink your pop. You'll need the bottle. When they arrive and go into the bathroom, take a slew of their cleaning supplies and pour them into the now empty pop bottle. Make sure to get things like lemon Pledge and any sort of citrus scented disinfectant. Carbonate it with magic or something. Go to the food court, get some low quality Chinese food and prepare to wash it down with your new concoction.

Honestly, this stuff from smell to taste was bathroom-esque. It was bitter, but I don't mind bitter. It was the smell of the stuff that was a turn off from the very beginning. The taste just sealed the deal. It might be a mixer, but if it is, label it as so because it was sold as a cocktail soda and I drank it as such.

Website
http://www.Stirrings.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 3rd, 2011
Comments
View and Leave A Comment

Bolthouse Farms Protein Plus Strawberries + Yogurt + Granola

Bolthouse Farms Protein Plus Strawberries + Yogurt + Granola

I actually had this a few weeks ago, but I was so disgusted by it that I left the bottle somewhere. Where to begin? How about by listing three things I love? Strawberries. Yogurt. Granola. One would think that by mixing them all together you would have awesomeness x's 3. One would also be wrong, just like this drink. It's a crime against nature that such great ingredients when mixed together would turn out so terribly. It tasted sour. I checked the expiration date and it had not passed. I also bought it from the grocery store, went home where I immediately put it in the fridge. No more than eight hours later I took it out and drank it. By drank it I mean took three sips before giving up. I shook it properly and everything. It's just not good. It's the only product Bolthouse has put out that I haven't loved. To add insult to injury there wasn't even chunks of granola in it like I had expected. It had all been blended together into a smooth liquid. Lame.

Website
http://bolthouse.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement, Yogurt
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on May 12th, 2011
Comments
View and Leave A Comment

My Body Shots Vitamin Mango Passionfruit

My Body Shots Vitamin Mango Passionfruit

When an attractive woman came up to Steve at the bar he was shocked. He was completely in disbelief when she asked him if he wanted to do a body shot. Steve knew where he stood in life. He was pretty frumpy and he suffered from a terrible case of halitosis. On top of that he had the personality of a dead moth. To sum it up he was no prize catch. This woman was completely beautiful though and here she was standing in front of him asking if he wanted to drink alcohol off of her body. Something strange was going on in the world. Perhaps Zuul had come to reign over the humans. You know the whole “human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!” bit. Steve didn’t care this was a big moment for him and he wasn’t going to turn it down. Apparently all of these thoughts took awhile to process in his mind because the woman was just staring at him strangely and asked if he wanted one or not. Steve snapped out of it and moved in closer and said of course so. His halitosis almost made her throw up. She gagged, reached into her bag and threw a tiny bottle at Steve and walked away. Confused, he looked down at the item she had tossed his way. Oh of course, that makes perfect sense. The woman was a representative of the My Body Shots company and she was going around handing out free samples like the “Red Bull girls” do. Steve felt like an idiot, so he sat back down on his stool and downed the shot. It was all natural, so at least he didn’t have to worry about getting cancer. That was the only way he could see his life getting any worse. Somehow the shot still tasted a bit chemically. Steve guessed that when you concentrate so many vitamins and minerals it’s not going to have a pleasant taste, no matter what you do. It was supposed to be mango passionfruit flavored, but he couldn’t spot those specific flavors in the mix. It just had a general tropical/vitamin flavor to it. Since you’re supposed to down in all in one gulp, it wasn’t too bad. The variety he got was a rehydration shot, so at least it would help him avoid getting a hangover in the morning. Now only if it could cure his terrible breath.

Website
http://mybodyshots.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Shot, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 6th, 2012
Comments
View and Leave A Comment

Organic Thinkers Herbal Drink Real Jamaican Sorrel Roots

Organic Thinkers Herbal Drink Real Jamaican Sorrel Roots

One of Mike’s boss’ once proposed the idea of him doing a Thirsty Dudes spin off based on hot sauce. You know to join the great spin offs such as Joanie Love Chachi, The Ropers, Just the Ten of Us, A Different World, Empty Nest, Daria, and to bring it back to the beginning: Laverne and Shirley. Knowing how Mike stores his drinks all over the floor at work I can only assume Kevin would store his hot sauce the same way. One would think that there would be no way that the two would ever be confused, that is until this bottle of Organic Thinkers Sorrel Root drink would enter the mix. At that point either Kevin is going to get a floral, herbal splash on his hot dogs or Mike is going to get a mouthful of some crazy hot sauce. I really hope it would be Mike’s mistake, but only if it was videotaped. Something like that is just too funny to not be immortalized in a digital format. Lucky for one of them that “Hot Sauce Dudes” or whatever it was going to be called never got off the ground, because seriously this bottle looks exactly like it should contain liquid fire.

This bottle expressly says there is no alcohol added. If it didn’t have that statement there is no way in hell I would have tried this as it smells like some sort of cocktail a grandfather would drink. I took the world’s tiniest sip, and I think there is no alcohol added because the drink itself is alcoholic. Actually it wasn’t even a sip I dabbed some on my finger and tasted it. Good-bye edge. This has to be alcohol. It smells like it, it has a slight burn (that could be from the ginger, and it tastes what I remember vodka or something like that tasting like, but with added sweetness. A drop on my finger is all I’m going to try and it was no good in my book. I’m sure it’s great for you health wise, but it’s not a flavor I can get down with at all, especially if it really does contain a substantial amount of alcohol from fermentation. Seriously I would rather take a shot of hot sauce than dump this on my food any day.

Country
Jamaica
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Other/Weird
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on October 8th, 2012
Comments
View and Leave A Comment

Lester's Fixins Peanut Butter & Jelly

Lester's Fixins Peanut Butter & Jelly

I walked into the beer merchant in my city knowing full well that they have a decent selection of non-alcoholic drinks. Someone mentioned to me previously that they had the Lester's Fixins chicken wing pop but they didn't tell me that they had a couple different ones there. I thought, you know what? I'm going to share this with my good friend Lauren and maybe some kids. I'll get something kid friendly and perhaps more interesting. Welp, I'm the fool because this was completely and utterly disgusting.

Travel back in time to when you were around four and your parents bought you a new cooking set with fake food in it. Remember when you could get plastic food that actually smelled vaguely like what it was supposed to be? Well be a four year old idiot and make and eat a plastic piece of jelly and you've got this drink. It tasted like melon flavored plastic, nothing like what it should have tasted like. No peanut butter, and not strawberry or grape jelly either. Oh you know that old American lunch staple of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with no peanut butter and melon jelly served in and around a plastic plate that you just eat the whole thing of like this is your first time eating a piece of Cinn-a-burst gum and you heard you can eat the wrapper, too. Exception being that Cinn-a-burst was fantastic gum and this pop sucked more than my fantastic Dyson vacuum and that thing truly never clogs. It just keeps sucking just like this crappy pop.

Website
http://www.lestersfixins.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 31st, 2013
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now
Peanut Butter & Jelly Soda

Angeleno Agua Fresca Tamarindo

Angeleno Agua Fresca Tamarindo

Normally when you see settling at the bottom of a bottle it means that the company knows what they are doing and you will be in for a treat. When I grabbed this and saw that it was pretty much all clear liquid with an inch of dark brown at the bottom things were looking up. I’m not normally a fan of tamarind, and I don’t really understand how anyone could be, but Angeleno’s other flavors have been great, so I thought this might be my stepping stone into this flavor. Wrong em Boyo.

The sweet and sour flavor of tamarind makes me feel like it is normally used in Chinese food, but they decided to liquefy it and add a bunch of sugar. Liquid Chinese food is no one’s friend. I really couldn’t get past three sips (very small sips) of this. This is the final straw: tamarind is definitely not for me. If you are a fan of this fruit, this is a very sweet version of it. I got no enjoyment out of it, but hopefully someone will. It’s always sad when a product made by Hansens misses the mark.

Website
http://www.hansens.com/us/en/products/juice/aguas-frescas/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Juice
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 7th, 2014
Comments
View and Leave A Comment

Harrisburg Dairies Southern Brewed Sweet Tea

Harrisburg Dairies Southern Brewed Sweet Tea

I typically love independent, mom and pop, generic iced teas because they're hand made and generally very good. This one was a bit of a let down.

The sugar was overpowering to the point where it tasted more like tea flavored sugar water than sweetened iced tea. You didn't get much tea flavor at all.

I will continue to try out small company iced teas like this in search for more winners.

Website
http://www.harrisburgdairies.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 14th, 2010
Comments
View and Leave A Comment

Mayer Bros. Pomegranate Lemonade

Mayer Bros. Pomegranate Lemonade

Hmm. Tart. Super tart. It's as if they accidentally labeled it pomegranate and it was really grapefruit. That's what the bite was like. Like sinking your teeth into a grapefruit. I honestly got no pomegranate flavor.

Kudos to the local Mayer Bros. for using real cane sugar, but the taste is simply off. See you in the fall for cider, though.

Website
http://www.mayerbrothers.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Lemonade
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 15th, 2010
Comments
View and Leave A Comment

Trader Joe's Vintage Root Beer

Trader Joe's Vintage Root Beer

I don't know why I expected more of this root beer since it's a store brand. There's nothing wrong with it, but it's definitely mediocre as far as root beer goes. It's better than A&W since it's sweetened with cane sugar, but it's far from being as good as Virgil's or other top tier root beer's. It's drinkable, but I wouldn't go out of my way to get a bottle.

Website
http://www.traderjoes.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Root Beer, Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on September 21st, 2010
Comments
View and Leave A Comment

Gus (Grown Up Soda) Dry Cola

Gus (Grown Up Soda) Dry Cola

Remember when you were a kid or a stupid adult and you used to put your mouth over a fresh two-liter bottle of pop and just inhale? That was stupid, but do you remember the taste? It was like a dry cola air. Like a cola flavored, breath subtracting air. This "dry cola" tastes like that and nothing else. Nothing. I don't know who is complaining about too much cola taste but I do understand the too much sugar, which this drink takes care of.

If you are 84 and hate a rich cola taste and an adequate amount of sugar, this is for you.

Website
http://www.drinkgus.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 21st, 2010
Comments
View and Leave A Comment
Buy Now
Gus Grown-Up Soda - Dry Cola, 12-Ounce (Pack of 8)
Buy Now
Buy at SpecialtySodas.com
<< previous | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |