No Sugar Added (717 reviews)

Genesis Boost Youth Mangosteen

Genesis Boost Youth Mangosteen

I've seen these drinks around a few times, but the $4-$5 price range always deterred me from trying it. When I saw it on sale for $2, I realized it was time to give it a chance. I've had dried mangosteen in the past, and it was pretty decent, so I was looking forward to this. When I opened it, there was brown gunk on the inside of the cap, I checked the expiration date, and it hadn't passed, so I chalked it up to "health food sludge." The smell is pretty terrible, like a fruit that is past ripeness. First swig it wasn't so bad, but it was kind of hard for me to finish the bottle. It reminded me of cider when it's just on the verge of becoming alcoholic. This is definitely not the beverage for me.

Website
http://www.genesisboost.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 16th, 2010
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Youth Boost to Support Healthy Aging and Immune System (1) Bottle 12 oz.

Trader Joe's Watermelon Juice

Trader Joe's Watermelon Juice

This went bad. Really bad. Terribly bad. Did I still drink it? Yep-ahh. I'm a glutton for punishment. I'll give you the back-story:

My girlfriend went to Vegas. She only won $100 but with the proceeds, she went to Trader Joe's, a store we don't have where we are from, and bought a handful of stuff that you can't get here. One of those drinks being this watermelon juice. She then came home, gave it to me, and I brought it to work to review.

So here I am, thirsty. After all, I am a thirsty dude. I say to myself that I'm going to try this watermelon juice because, after all, I like watermelon. I open the cap, hand it to my friend Mike (pictured) and he tries it, and quickly shows a face of utter disgust. "It tastes like someone crushed the watermelons with rubber." he says handing the bottle to me. I smell it, and it's putrid. I taste it...equally putrid. It tasted like you ate two day old, thrown out watermelon.

Think like you are a homeless person and you go through the garbage on a Monday after a back yard barbecue held the previous Saturday. You find what looks like a perfectly good slice of watermelon, but lo and behold, it is not. Put that in a bottle and sell it and that's what you've got.

This was probably out of the fridge for too long during transport so I might re-rate this at a later date. If someone else has had this with better luck than myself, please tell me otherwise. If this is how it tastes, share this link with your friends so that they stop making garbage watermelon juice.

Website
http://www.traderjoes.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 27th, 2010
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White Cow Dairy Anise

White Cow Dairy Anise

What to say...where to start...alright.

I've been looking for an anise flavored drink for a while. Pop, juice, water, it didn't matter. I never see it and I want it. I put the feelers out and almost instantly I get the feedback that right in my backyard (if my backyard was 5 city blocks) there is a guy who sells anise flavored yogurt drink. Awesome, right? Well here's where it gets fishy.

I go, “Dude's awesome!” He's got cherry and anise and turmeric, all weird stuff. I buy two, one being the anise. It's settled. After all, it's primarily yogurt whey and yogurt solids so it's bound to be good. I see the red on the bottom so it's as if he's powderized anise and put it in this drink.

I uncap it and take a sip and it's alarming. Yes, I get anise, but there is a follow up taste of just soured milk. I know that it's the unpasteurized yogurt but it's got a certain sting that makes me feel like I've done something wrong, like drink soured milk.

I really wanted to like this and I give this guy all the credit in the world for putting this product out as well as very good yogurt. All locally done. This drink is simply not for me but many of my friends like it. I feel like it's either you do or your don't. I don't.

Website
http://www.whitecowdairy.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Yogurt
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 2nd, 2010
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White Cow Dairy Tumeric

White Cow Dairy Tumeric

I will review this drink simply by copying the conversation with the most adorable ~3 year old girl I know:

Me: Do you want to try this? You might not like it.
Her: What is it?
Me: It's like a yogurt drink with Indian spices in it.
Her: Is it orange juice?
Me: No. Do you still want to try it?
Her: Yes, I'll try it. {sips}.
Me: Do you like it?
Her: No. What is it? It's not orange juice.
Me: It's a strange drink with turmeric in it, which is a spice they put in Indian food.
Her: Why is there Indian food in that drink?

Website
http://www.whitecowdairy.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Yogurt
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 2nd, 2010
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Genesis Boost Inner Boost Noni

Genesis Boost Inner Boost Noni

Ugh. Look. I just had the gnarliest food poisoning of my life. Worst. It destroyed me. Annihilated, I threw up so hard I fell out of bed. No, I'm not exaggerating. So what do I remember I have in my fridge? This Genesis Inner Boost drink, which is supposed to support detoxification and internal cleansing. What better thing to drink after getting internally crushed by bad seafood? Uh, well, I'll tell you. Anything. I could not like this drink any less. Yes, any less. Took two sips and couldn't touch the stuff. Number 1 ingredient, pear juice, 2; strawberry juice; 3, raspberry juice; 4, grape juice. All good, right? Yeah? Could it be #5, the dreaded Noni berry? I don't know. I'm not a large fan of pears, they are like crappy apples, but this didn't really taste like it. It didn't really taste like anything and smelled even worse.

This drink might be for someone and I'm not looking for something special, too fruity, too dry, too thick, too thin, whatever, I don't care. This seemed borderline undrinkable, like I could give it to 100 people and 100 people would say, "No, not for me." I'm clearly and evidently one in 100.

Website
http://www.genesisboost.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 13th, 2010
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Inner Boost with Noni for Detoxification 1 Bottle

Pure Cool It's Berry Cool! Pomegranate, Cherry, & Cranberry

Pure Cool It's Berry Cool! Pomegranate, Cherry, & Cranberry

Greg makes a good point. He said, "How can you make a product like this. Doesn't anyone taste it before it leaves the company?" I made everyone, and I mean everyone, drink this because it was so bad. How bad? I would describe this as a berry scented urinal cake. Ladies, don't know what a urinal cake smell like? Go to your local bar, and don't bother going into the bathroom because it already smells like a urinal cake. If it doesn't, go into the men's room and take a big whiff. That's pee and urinal cakes [slash] what this drink tastes like. It was co-described as a watered down cough syrup. I concur. It was co-described as medicinal. I concur. I was going to make up this great tale about how I'm "pure cool" but it's not worth it.

Honestly, you have to taste it to believe it, but this is sheer garbage. It is "cool" but I think that it's the cherry in there that's medicinifying, a technical term, this drink. I had ten people try it and there is half a bottle left. No one except me went in for seconds. No double takes. No, "wait, is it really that bad?" Well friends, I will tell you, it was that bad and it still is that bad, in a half full bottle, in the garbage.

Garbage. If you see it, it will inevitably be on sale. Buy it and make one of your dumb friends taste it. You'll laugh when you hear what he has to say about it. It will probably be something along the lines of what I described above.

Website
http://www.drinkpurecool.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Water
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 4th, 2011
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PURE COOL Berry Cool, 16 Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Alo Coco Exposed Mangosteen + Mango

Alo Coco Exposed Mangosteen + Mango

This could not be a more disgusting drink. I mean it. This is hardly drinkable. I took one sip and essentially signed off on the whole thing. I love aloe. This has so much chunk in it that you think that you're drinking something else. It's downright thick. Second, it's got coconut water in it which I am not the largest fan of, but I thought that since it's got fruits in there, both prefixed with "mango" ironically, it might be alright. Nope. It stood out like a sore thumb. I can taste the fruit but it's so masked by chunks and coconut that you'd be better off just not adding flavor, or more flavor. This drink is a Frankenstein of all things bad and no, I'm not using that phrase because it's a week away from Halloween.

Website
http://www.alodrink.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Aloe Vera, Chunky, Coconut
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 26th, 2011
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Coco Exposed 12/350ml Mangosteen + Mango

Alo Coco Exposed Wheatgrass

Alo Coco Exposed Wheatgrass

Nope. I went into this thinking it was going to be gross and hoping to be wrong and I was right. Story time? You've got it.

There was once a bar that Jay DJ'd at and it was pretty great. They sold everything and also served food and drink. You could go in there, buy a nice meal and the chair you sat in to eat it. Tables, chairs, toys, odds and ends, and more; everything was for sale. It was cool. Jay and I were there for a night he was playing and he took a break and they offered wheatgrass so we split a shot of it. It wasn't bad. We thought it was going to be gross, but it just tastes like the smell of freshly cut grass. A little sweet but very...fresh. Very green. It's got some immense amount of vitamins and minerals equivalent to multiple servings of vegetables.

This is just a strange, smooth, chunky texture, like if you watered down your morning oatmeal and drank it, except your oatmeal smelled like if you poured the dust from a box of Cheerios into a cup rather than actual cereal.

This is bad. I have said it before and I'll say it again. How does stuff like this make it to market?

Website
http://www.alodrink.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Aloe Vera, Chunky, Coconut
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 6th, 2012
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Aloe Farm Coco Expds, Wheatgrass, 11.80-Ounce (Pack of 12)

Phenom Energy Acai Peach

Phenom Energy Acai Peach

Terrible. Awful. Putrid. Twice as awful. I sparingly like coconut water as it is but this...man...something went wrong here. It smells good. I was hoping this would be awesome. It had to be. It smelled good. Then you take a sip and it all goes wrong. This was cold, the way that coconut water is supposed to be drunk. It tasted like if toothpaste was made from mashed up coconuts and people were crying it was so bad so someone at the company mixed a little fruit in it. It's heavy, heavy coconut and all the blast coolers in the world couldn't save this drink.

I wish I had my tongue scraper with me. This drink was unbearable.

Website
http://www.phenomwater.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Coconut, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 8th, 2012
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Phenom Mega V 100% Natural Coconut Water, Acai Peach (Pack of 6)

Tropicana 100% Juice Grapefruit

Tropicana 100% Juice Grapefruit

Holy crap I feel like I am going to puke. This drink...jeez louise. Just vomit. Gaaah. I can sum this drink up in a lovely simile. Did you, like me grow up biting your fingernails? Did your parents buy you that stuff that you put on your fingernails that made them taste disgusting? This is what that tastes like. Absurdly bitter. Oh it smells inviting but one sip and you are on the fast track to Hurlburg. Please add sugar to this next time. I honestly can't see anyone liking this. I appreciate 100% Juice when it's a good fruit at 100%. Grapefruit juice at 100% sucks.

Website
http://www.tropicana.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Juice
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 5th, 2012
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