Vitamin Water (12 reviews)

Glaceau Vitamin Water Coco-Refresh

Glaceau Vitamin Water Coco-Refresh

Welcome to Pineapple Pokopo where we make all of our food to Cokopo…err coconuts. The thing is that the only things that are prevalent on our island are pineapples and sharks. Our president is very insistent on the whole coconut thing though, so he has trained sharks to go to neighboring islands and bully their residents into giving them coconuts to bring back to us here at Pineapple Pokopo!

I must say that using coconut and pineapple in everything definitely limits the food available for us. We do drink a lot of pina coladas though. Actually I’d say that 95% of the occupants of our island are drunk for most of their life. They say it is the only way they can force down the food we have, and deal with their crippling fear of sharks.

Glaceau has hired us to make them a new flavor of Vitamin Water due to our surplus of pineapples, and coconuts since the sharks have gone a little overboard with their bullying. We call it Coco-Refresh, and it is essentially a non-alcoholic pina colada that is rich in vitamins. The residents of the island actually drink them as soon as they awake to help combat the brutal hangover they invariably have until they start drinking again.

Since we do have more pineapples then coconut, regardless of the sharks being jerks, the drinks is heavier on the pineapple then the tree nut. Are coconuts really nuts, or did someone just give them a dumb name because of their hard shells? Either way the coconut that is in the beverage is more along the lines of actual coconut water and not tanning oil. I’ll never understand how people can enjoy something that tastes like that. Oh well, our Vitamin Water is refreshing and tasty, like everything here at Pineapple Pokopo. Won’t you come and visit?

Website
http://www.glaceau.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Crystalline Fructose and Cane Sugar
Categories
Coconut, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 30th, 2013
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Glaceau Vitamin Water Squeezed

Glaceau Vitamin Water Squeezed

Glaceau and the team over at Vitamin Water have "borrowed" kids from all countries of the earth, flown them out to their headquarters in the coldest parts of mother Russia, fed them a diet of crackers and water and the occasional Flintstone vitamin and had them create the most "kid like" lemonade taste buds have ever tasted.

The kids worked day and night for almost a month and actually did it. Glaceau's resident scientists have drunk too many drinks in their lives so they taste buds have been skewed. A child's palate is more novice and can really have an open mind when it comes to drinks. Together, these kids made good lemonade that's a "lowest common denominator" type drink. No offensive pulp. Lightly tart. Moderately sweetened. Overall good lemonade.

Once the kid’s sole task was complete, Glaceau gave them an envelope with $1000, a note to give to their parent's that said, "We're sorry but we needed help. You will receive a case of Squeezed as soon as production is complete. Sincerely, Glaceau." and a box set of Jake and the Neverland Pirates to watch when they get home. I'd say that's fair.

Website
http://www.glaceau.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Crystalline Fructose
Categories
Lemonade, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 22nd, 2013
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Glaceau Vitamin Water Squeezed (Formally Mult- V) , 20 oz (Pack of 24)

Glaceau Vitamin Water Attention

Glaceau Vitamin Water Attention

Attention! Alright you maggots, welcome to basic training. I will be your drill sergeant, Perry Como. The first one of you to make fun of my name or to refer to the singer who I happen to share a name with gets to clean the toilets for the next week with their toothbrush, and THEN brush their teeth with it. I’m here to whip you little sissy girls into shape. I will make you the men that you ought to be to defend our beloved country. Yes I know that is sexist, but guess what I’m a drill sergeant. I am supposed to be offensive and unpleasant. Haven’t you ever seen a movie before?

As may of you may know Vitamin Water sponsors the United States Army. As each group of new recruits shows up at the base so does a pallet of one flavor of Vitamin Water. After getting a look at you children, it only seems fitting that you would be given such a froo froo drink as this blend of apples and watermelon. Oh and look these apples are from Fuji, well ooh la la aren’t we fancy? You will not be given refreshments until you have completed each phase of your training. That being said you’re first bit of training is that you will be running 20 miles out in a torrential downpour. Since it is not raining we have a machine that will simulate the storm. It will move with you around the track, dumping rain and wind on your heads like the king of Hades himself. As you run I will sit comfortably on a platform just outside of the storms range enjoying one of these girly drinks. Let me get prepared and open one up now, so you can watch the enjoyment on my face as to give you motivation. I will now take a sip and describe the flavor to you, so you can begin salivating like the dogs you are. Ahhhh. This really does taste exactly like some scientist somewhere found out a way to juice candy apples. It has the specific apple flavor that can only be given by a Fuji apple, but it also has the candy taste of the sugar coating. There is a slight watermelon flavor in it, but really it’s mostly candy apple that I taste. It’s wonderful to have that flavor without the mess that normally accompanies it. Also there is a whole mess of caffeine in here. It would make more sense for you to drink this before you run, but we’re the army and we’re cruel, so afterwards you’re bodies will be exhausted, but your minds will be alert! Now get under that storm machine and start running!

Website
http://www.glaceau.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 6th, 2012
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Glaceau Vitamin Water Revive

Glaceau Vitamin Water Revive

Oh the original line of Vitamin Water. How many bottles of you have I downed over the years? Dozens? Of course. Hundreds? Certainly. Thousands? Now that might be pushing it.

You see for years I had chronic stomach pain. I would wake up fine, but by the time I went to sleep at night I was in intense pain. I went to the doctor in 2001 to get it checked out and he gave me some pills. They worked a bit, but my insurance ran out and I didn’t go back to see a doctor for over a decade. I learned to live with the pain. Then I went on tour in Europe and after a few days I noticed the pain was subsiding. By the time I headed back to the States it was gone. The first thing I did when I got home was to grab a slice of good pizza and drink a can of Arizona. That night my pain returned. I was extremely confused. It took me awhile before I discovered that most European companies don’t use high fructose corn syrup. I decided to try cutting it out of my beverage diet. Again the pain went away. I had the secret to a stomach pain free life. Around that time Vitamin Water was one of the few companies readily available in gas stations that didn’t use HFCS. I started drinking it constantly, to an extent that was probably unhealthy.

During this time Revive was one of my favorites. It’s supposed to be fruit punch, but it doesn’t exactly taste like it, maybe a little, but a very, very light version of it. I would narrow it down to more of a berry based fruit punch rather than a tropical one. If you haven’t tried this before I’d be shocked. Now you know a stupid story abut me that doesn’t affect your life at all. You also know very little about this drink. Here’s a bit more. It’s not overly sweet, but it’s fairly flavorful. You know what? You can find this anywhere so just spend the dollar and try it yourself.

Website
http://www.glaceau.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Crystalline Fructose
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 13th, 2012
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Glaceau Vitamin Water, Revive Fruit Punch, 20-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 24)

Glaceau Vitamin Water Focus

Glaceau Vitamin Water Focus

Sometimes life gets you down and you don’t know what to do to make things right. It is the job of your best friend to recognize these times and do the only thing that could possibly save the day: take you to the dirt mall to see a fortuneteller. There is nothing that the dirt mall fortuneteller cannot see about your future. She will guide you onto the righteous path. When you settle down in her stall she will tell you to relax and to focus. She will have a Eastern European accent, so don’t let your mind drift to dark places. Also, don’t let it drink to this wonderful drink. I understand that it is easy to focus on Focus, but that’s not why you’re there. You’re there to sort your life out. It is very fruity and refreshing though. It’s hard to not slip into a train of thought that is filled with strawberries and just the slightest hint of kiwi. A train of thought that is smooth and light, not too syrupy like many thought trains are. It’s like a dinning car fill with vitamins and minerals that are needed when you spend most of your meals in a food court. Sure it doesn’t really taste the way strawberries do, but more like the way strawberry scented things smell. It’s strange that it is still enjoyable, but it is.

Now what did she just say? Ahh yes that your birthday falls between the first and last of Oct-To-Ber.

Website
http://www.glaceau.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Crystalline Fructose and Cane Sugar
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 8th, 2012
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Vitamin Water-focus - 20 Oz (Pack of 6)

Glaceau Vitamin Water Spark

Glaceau Vitamin Water Spark

According to the Tori Amos song, which I can only assume like a great big idiot is the namesake of this drink "She's convinced she could hold back a glacier." Well maybe, just maybe she could hold back a wall of ice, but even if she could do that, there is absolutely no way she could hold back the monumental force of Glaceau as a company or in the way of flavor. Vitamin water has become as commonplace as Coke or Pepsi and that is something they should be proud of. They have done it with quality tasting drinks as well (okay their "Zero" line could use some work).

This is the first time I've tried the Spark flavor and I can assure you that it will be my new go-to flavor when I'm at random gas stations in the middle of nowhere America. I really think they should rethink what they are calling this flavor though. They have dubbed it "grape-blueberry" but obviously they modeled the flavor off of the blue Lik-M-Aid Fun Dip. It tastes exactly like you licked the white sugar stick, stuck in the package and then bit a big chunk of it off. It's delicious, but this drink tastes less sugary than the actual candy (which is basically solidified sugar dipped into powdered sugar). Also, it is fine to share this drink with someone, where it should be completely unacceptable to share your Lik-M-Aid. No one wants to double dip into your spit sugar.

Website
http://www.glaceau.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Crystalline Fructose
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 10th, 2012
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Glaceau Vitamin Water Nutrient Enhanced Water Beverage, Spark Grape-Blueberry, 20 oz (Pack of 24)

Glaceau Vitamin Water Defense

Glaceau Vitamin Water Defense

On a fluke, sometimes it's really nice in Buffalo. Contrary to popular belief, although it snows like the dickens...Dickens(?)...Who cares? Contrary to popular believe, although it snows like Charles Dickens, the grass and snow sometimes emerge and when they do at the same time, it can be a really nice day. When this blue moon happens, the city knows it and every one goes outside. I'm going to say that the crime rate drops to zero because even the gangsters are drinking lemonade or buying new slacks at local shops. Gunfights are an indoor activity and should not be wasted on nice days like today.

We went out today to Buffalo's one of two beaches which, if you live in suburbia, are smaller than your yard and one of them is landlocked. A novel attempt, but poor delivery and a poor use of my tax dollars, I should say. Regardless, we played in the sand, walked by some WWII battleships, and got some ice cream. It was a nice walk into the sun and it made me quite parched.

While waiting for ice cream, I picked up a Vitamin Water that we somehow didn't do. I was going to get the orange one, because I like it, but the raspberry apple sounded better and more quenching. I made the right choice. It was everything I wanted it to be and was very refreshing, very cold, and I wish I didn't have to share it because I'm home now and am still thirsty. It did actually taste like raspberry and apple and nothing else. It was really good and possibly my new fallback when it comes to Vitamin Water. That says a lot.

To cap the night, I'm sure that there will be drag races outside my window as there are on most night and maybe, just maybe, if I'm lucky, there will be prostitutes outside watching the races, soliciting the racers and passersby. Hey, a woman has to make a living. I won't call the cops on you, girls.

Website
http://www.glaceau.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Crystalline Fructose
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 25th, 2011
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Glaceau Vitamin Water defense Raspberry-Apple - 24 20oz Bottles

Glaceau Vitamin Water Essential

Glaceau Vitamin Water Essential

As one can see from reading our reviews, we often compare orange water beverages to Tang. What can we say? It's the original and Mike loves the stuff. He always had a huge container of the powder in his cupboard when we lived together. He also hated astronauts. It's really a worrisome thing. He walks around making this outrageous claims about how there's going to be a fist fight on the fateful day he runs into Neil Armstrong on the street. I really don't get it.

Regardless this does remind me of Tang. It's orange flavored and it's not too thick. It's an old standby in the Vitamin Water world.

Website
http://www.glaceau.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Crystalline Fructose
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 5th, 2011
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Glaceau Vitamin Water Essential - 20oz Bottles

Glaceau Vitamin Water Stur-D

Glaceau Vitamin Water Stur-D

I just realized that I have not had a Vitamin Water since we started this site. That seems insane because there was a long stretch of my life where I got them for free so I drank at least one a day. Since this incarnation of Thirsty Dudes ten months ago I just figured there were other, weirder, drinks that needed my attention. When I was in a gas station and I wanted something that wasn't carbonated I went with a new flavor of an old standby.

As soon as I opened it I remembered how much I actually enjoy Vitamin Water. Glaceau took the traditional sports drink and upped the ante. They add extra vitamins and minerals to make their drinks more functional, but at the same time they take extra care to make sure that all of their products have a strong pleasant flavor. The only thing that could really make these better would be if they actually used the juice from the fruits listed in the flavors. I guess this would fall under a different category if they did though, and it might lose its functionality.

This particular bottle is supposed to be blue agave, passion fruit and citrus flavored. The individual flavors don't stand out at all, but it does taste like a hodgepodge of the flavors combined into something new. Maybe it's just passion fruit and citrus. I've never had straight up agave before, but I've had it as a sweetener and I don't really remember it having a distinct taste. Overall it taste rather great. I would definitely pick this over a Gatorade any day. I don't think I will be waiting nearly as long before I pick up another bottle of this.

Website
http://www.glaceau.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Crystalline Fructose
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 23rd, 2011
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Glaceau Vitamin Water, Stur-D, 20-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 24)

Glaceau Vitamin Water XXX

Glaceau Vitamin Water XXX

When I first came across this flavor many years ago, I got really excited since XXX is commonly associated with straight edge. Sadly, the quirky writing on the side of the bottle makes no mention of refraining from drugs and alcohol. Instead, they decided to make a bad joke about the adult film industry. Despite this, this will always be the straight edge flavor of Vitamin Water.

Name aside, I love the taste of this. Like most Vitamin Water, it's the perfect amount of sweetness and full of flavor. The blueberry and pomegranate are the prominent flavors here, and they mesh together really well.

Website
http://www.glaceau.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Crystalline Fructose and Cane Sugar
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on February 13th, 2011
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Glaceau Vitamin Water, XXX Acai-Blueberry-Pomegranate, 20-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 24)
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