Lemonade (162 reviews)
Trader Joe's Fresh Squeezed Limeade
Dear Trader Joe,
You don't know me but I’ve been a shopper at your grocery store for a few years now. I will admit I am not loyal to your establishment, but I do shop there as much as I am able to. I especially enjoy your veggie chips and hummus. It’s easily my favorite hummus ever.
I haven't had the best of luck with your beverages in the past. Your so-called "vintage" sodas were quite bad if I may say so. I must say that I was a little skeptical of this limeade when I picked it up. I hate to judge a drink by it's bottle, but this screamed, "watered down artificial flavors" when I saw it. I was pleasantly surprised to find only 4 ingredients in the bottle: water, sugar, limejuice, and lemon juice.
I don't know whom you traded to get this, but you made a good trade. This is easily one of the best limeades I have ever tasted. It's very quenching, but also has a great tartness to it. I wish it was sourer, but that's only because I am still searching for that drink that is so sour that it hurts.
Good job Joe! You're good at trading.
Sincerely,
Derek
- Website
- http://www.traderjoes.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Granulated Sugar
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Derek Neuland on 4/16/2012
- Comments
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3 Lemon Sparkling Lemonade
MOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM, I want lemonade! Now son, you know we’re in Mexico and you can’t just have everything you want. We’ve been here for a week and all you’ve done is complain about how you want some lemonade. I told you before I looked in every store and nowhere sells it. I also haven’t been able to find any lemons to make you some fresh. They must be out of season or something. But MOOOOOOOOOM I really want it. What about that weird plastic lemon that is in the fridge, couldn’t you make some with that? Well I suppose I could. I don’t want to make it with the tap water though. W have a lot planned today, and I can’t have you running off to the bathroom every five minutes with the runs. The only bottled water I have is carbonated, but if it will get you to shut up let’s give it a try. Oh, now you’ve gone and put far too much of that lemon juice in the sparkling water. We’ll have to fix that by adding some sugar. Unfortunately since this is a rented room, there isn’t any sugar here. Oh wait, I think I have some packets in my purse. Ugh, all I have is artificial sweetener. I guess it’s better than nothing. Here try this. What do you think? Ugh, MOOOOOOOOOOMMM this is GROOOOOOOSSSSSSSS! Nothing about it tastes natural. MOOOOOOOOMMMMM I don’t want lemonade anymore. I want iced tea!!! Well lucky for you they had some down at the market. Let’s take a quick trip there.
So yeah, this tastes exactly like the drink this family made, except it has little dark chunks in it. It’s apparently part of the limejuice, but it just looks like the drink has gone bad. This also says it has no diet aftertaste. Guess what? They are liars.
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Aspartame
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 3/25/2012
- Comments
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Multi Vitamin Enhanced Water Lemonade
America has decided that they are simply too cool to take vitamins in pill form. There was a public hearing and it was decided that vitamin pills were just too 80’s, and not in the “cool” we dress like complete morons way. They were fed up, and demanded something simpler, because as you may know they are a lazy bunch. The FDA suggested that if they did not want to take their vitamins they should simply start eating better. If you’re getting everything you need from your food, supplements are completely unnecessary. America laughed in their face. They chuckled as they said there was no way in hell that they were going to give up their Big Macs, their pork rinds or their Double Downs. It was a sad day for America indeed. Then someone had a stroke of genius and decided to start putting vitamins into drinks. People could easily consume all of the vitamins they needed for the day in one convenient bottle. More importantly it was a drink for this decade, not the stupid past. Thus Vitamin Water and the like was born.
Not long after a million other companies started doing similar things. Some were great tasting others belonged in the filth can. Sadly Multi Vitamin Enhanced Water is closer to the latter. What we have here is a lemonade-flavored water. No it’s not just lemonade, it’s like watered down lemonade with a whole mess of vitamins thrown in the mix. The label boasts that there are “more vitamins in every bottle.” That is definitely true because you can taste them, and it’s not a good scene. In other companies versions of these drinks the flavor of the drink masks the taste of the vitamins. When you drink this you may be confused and think that someone put poison in your supposedly refreshing beverage. This is like the end of Planet of the Apes, but in beverage form. We finally did it. We got rid of the need for pill vitamins, but now it’s been replaced with gross tasting beverages.
- Website
- http://www.newyorkicedtea.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Pure Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Lemonade, Sports/Dietary Supplement
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 3/24/2012
- Comments
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Cascade Ice Strawberry Lemonade
Not all mad scientists are actually "mad." They're usually just very focused and headstrong and insistent that what they are doing is for the greater good. It's not crazy to be passionate about your work. It's admirable. Christopher Lloyd, not the actor, was a mad scientist. He knew it was his calling long before Back to the Future came out. After that movie, people started picking on him because of the name, profession, and messy white hair. He knew he was up to something good, though.
Christopher loved lemonade and fruit but was always concerned about his weight. He didn't have a weight problem. He was just always concerned. He would sit in his basement laboratory day after day and mix ingredients into beakers and pour them back and forth. It's just something scientists do. One day, Christopher was close. He mixed in lemons and strawberries that he had poured liquid nitrogen on and powderized into water. The taste was alright but needed something. He poured some artificial sugar packets that he uses in his coffee in the mix. It was better but needed one more thing. He carbonated the water and tried it. Success. It was great. His experiment was complete. He could check "good tasting diet fruity lemonade" off the list.
Christopher Lloyd was never to be known as that guy that looks like the actor Christopher Lloyd, but as a guy who looks like Christopher Lloyd who invented decent diet fruity lemonade.
- Website
- http://www.cascadeicewater.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 3/21/2012
- Comments
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Tall Boys Lemonade
Mark and Jimmy were in the convenient store last Friday and they saw a kid who is in the grade above them buy a couple cans of alcohol. They were completely ecstatic. Everyone else in their class was always going to parties and getting drunk, but their classmates thought they were nerds, so they were never invited. It seemed like everyone they knew (except the real nerds) was always out raging on the weekends. Seeing as neither of them had ever had even a drop of alcohol before they felt left out. This was going to be their ticket to being cool, especially if they could get it on the regular. When they saw the upperclassman make his purchase they quickly dropped their Nerd Rope and Snapple and ran outside to form a plan. They would keep the location of their purchases a secret, so that the other kids would need them to supply the booze, thus insuring their place amongst the most popular in their school. It would work perfectly. They pooled up their money and since Jimmy looked a bit older he took it and went in to make the deal. He walked three laps around the aisles before finally grabbing a six-pack and taking it to the counter. The cashier looked at him like he was crazy, and told Jimmy to get out of his store. Without skipping a beat he was out the door and around the corner with Mark. What had gone wrong? Had he not given the code word of the secret handshake? Mark suggested that maybe there was just a loophole with whatever their classmate had bought. He remembered it was in a yellow can, so he grabbed the money and gave it a chance himself. He went into the store, nodded to the cashier, you know to let him know that he was “cool” and down” and then made his way to the cooler. The only can that looked anything like what the other kid bought was Tall Boys Lemonade. He grabbed as many as he could carry in his arms and walked up to the counter. He was sweating and shaking like crazy. The cashier gave him an awkward smile and rang him out. Mark couldn’t believe that it worked. They were going to be the hit of the party. Things were finally turning around. No more late night pizza roll filled D&D sessions in Jimmy’s dank basement. He grabbed Jimmy and they ran all the way out to the fields where the party was taking place. Everyone at the party gave them dirty looks when they showed up, that is until they announced that they had alcohol. After that everyone was all smiles and pats on the back. Since it was Mark that got the drinks he started passing them out to everyone. It took about .3 seconds for everyone to look at them like they were idiots and the taunting to start. You see while many companies sell beer and malt liquor in tallboy cans, the company Tall Boys does not make alcoholic drinks. The cans that Mark and Jimmy brought to the party were simply carbonated lemonade. Mediocre carbonated lemonade at that. The embarrassment was too much to take. They ran until they could run no more and ended up in the cemetery. Who knows why they went there, but they sat on the headstones and discussed how hellish Monday morning was going to be at school. All the while they downed can after can of cheap lemonade. They decided they deserved to make them selves sick for being such idiots. When Jimmy finally gave the cans a good look, it became obvious to him that they weren’t alcoholic. There wasn’t even any real lemon juice in them, just citric acid. He was highly confused as to why it was carbonated though; since nowhere except in the ingredient list does it say anything about it being so. After their fifth can each they decided that it tasted like highly sweetened floor cleaner with bubbles. Their purchase had been a mistake on so many levels.
- Website
- http://www.mapco.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Jason Draper on 3/5/2012
- Comments
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Arizona Half & Half Peach
An open letter to Arnold Palmer,
Arnold Palmer, I assume you are a smart man. You've got a drink named after you and now a series of them have come out and I can only re-assume that you are doing well from them. I don't know what caliber of golfer you are, but I guess they wouldn't give just anyone a drink. You probably have a whole closet of gold jackets. Is it gold or green? I get real golf and Happy Gilmore golf confused. Can you tell that I don't follow golf? My daddy loves golf. He will soon scorn me for my rudeness and lack of research as he did when I was in my teens, barely scraping by in high school. Mr. Palmer, you have been cartooned on some of these cans, and for this can in particular, you are just hanging out in what looks like a peach orchard wearing some nice golf wingtips with your nice pup looking admiringly at you. Are you just driving balls into the orchard? Do you own the orchard? Have you been planning this venture since this theoretical sketch was taken? Was this taken from a real photograph? I've got questions and you've got answers.
Once you are done answering the above questions, I would like to tell you what I think of your drink. Firstly, I would like to preface that I am a bit of a professional in my field. You can't tell by this review or about 80% of the other reviews that I have done and now that I write that, I doubt my own professionalism. I don't like peaches. I would never eat a peach and I don't care if I go the rest of my life without eating one. You probably think at this stage that your drink is not going to get a great review. Allow me to continue. Diet drinks are typically the pits as well. This drink absolutely tastes like there is "something diet" going on in there. Yes, "something diet" is a bad thing and yes, I have noticed, and yes, you will be penalized for it.
With all of that being said, there is a decent enough "everything else" taste that balances it out. Peaches don't taste terrible, I just don't like them but I like them in a drink. If I want you to analyze that, I will pay you like a psychiatrist. I will pay you as a psychiatrist only if you have the proper chez lounge. I've come to just accept that this is the way that your tea tastes. I would love to try this with real sugar but that's me being a snob and trying to improve on a man's life's work. You wanted this to come out like this and it did. I can't penalize you for that. It's not bad. You've hidden it enough to be drinkable. It's got a fair lemonade taste, fair peach taste, and I can't really taste any tea.
Arnold, I'm going to pass right through the niceties and call you by your given name. Arnold, you've done a fine job here and I congratulate you in your endeavors on the links and in business. Do people still call it "the links?" It's catchy. I like it better than "the green." Anyhow, I hope this finds you well and you have continued success in both.
- Website
- http://drinkarizona.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 2/27/2012
- Comments
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- Buy Now
- Arizona Arnold Palmer
Cintron Lite Half and Half
You know what, Mr. Waitress; I'm sick and tired of this. I come here day after day and I don't know why. You always get my order wrong, all of the wait staff has a terrible attitude and the pop is usually flat. I got one exceptional meal here and I won't give this place up because I feel that one day it will be that good again. It hasn't been. I've been keeping my mouth shut for months now but this is the last straw.
The only think I asked for is sweet tea and you only have diet. It's not awful, but it's half way to really diet tasting. To make matters worse, you only had enough for half a glass. Now what am I going to do with this. I just filled up on crackers and I am exceptionally thirsty. Mix it with something? What do you propose? Lemonade? Who do I look like, Arnold freakin' Palmer. Yeah, sure. Lemonade me up.
Oh, and another thing. I can't stand...when...the thing is...I...I...I'm sorry. I've had a rough day and all I wanted was a Black and Blue burger. When you brought me a bacon burger, it was half the straw that broke the camel's back. The half diet lemonade was now the savior because this isn't half bad. Sure, it's still a little diet, but the lemonade saves it. It tastes like "kid-made" lemonade. This might be some of the best diet half and half I've ever had.
You, my good sir, have done it. "Done what" you ask? You have roped me into coming here again and again now that you gave me this. It's redeeming. Please, sir. I just ask you one more simple thing. Do you have any more chocolate cream pie? I saw it on your specials board. You don't. Well, how about that. Let down again. You'd better have this concoction in here next time I come or I'm really going to make a stink!
- Website
- http://www.cintron21.com
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 2/26/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Cascade Ice Lemonade
Girlfriend, you know I love you. I know you, too, and I know that you like things that sparkle: diamonds, gems, rubies, and the lot. I can't wait until your birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day, or even Sweetest Day to let you in on this secret, but I bought you something that sparkles. It's not much, but when I saw it I thought of you. Here, my baby. This is for you.
What do you mean "What is it?" It's sparkling lemonade. It's sparkles, like my girl. Go ahead. Taste it. What do you think? It's good, right? Yeah. Baby. That's right. It's good, right? Baby? Do you like it? What's that questioning look? Oh. It's that it wasn't jewelry. That's fine. Oh, you do like it. Great. It's pretty good. A little diet, yes. Your delightful little tongue is no liar. It's not a terrible lemonade flavor. It's not too bad. For only two calories it could surly be a whole lot worse.
So there you are, one bottle of a sparkling drink for my sparkling fiancé. You've earned it. Speaking of earning it, I believe that you mentioned something about a chocolate cream pie. I believe I am quite deserving of that.
- Website
- http://www.cascadeicewater.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sucralose
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 2/16/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
Sobe Lifewater Agave Lemonade
Yesterday's limeade is today's lemonade. To be different, you've got to go and sweeten with strange stuff, like agave, or that's what you like to let people think. See here's the thing. This is a strange drink that is full of lies. Agave is a natural sweetener. Going through the ingredients, you will notice that there is no agave in it. Oh, there's "natural flavor" but come on. What does that even mean. That's a copout. It would be like making a drink that is genuinely "all natural" and then for ingredients just putting down "natural flavors, natural sweeteners, natural preservatives" What a joke.
Lies aside, this is alright. It's lemonade and it tastes like lemonade but you miss out on a lot of the things that you love about lemonade. Pulp? I love pulp and it's gone. This lemonade would be like strained lemonade that's a little thicker. Not a bad thicker but noticeably thicker. There is yerba mate in there but it doesn't have the bitterness that comes with it. Don't really know why it's there.
There are a lot of questions that I don't care if they get answered or not. I don't care where the agave is. I don't care where the pulp is. I’m completely apathetic. I don't care. It's good enough. It’s above honorable mention but below a medal. Right smack dab in the middle.
- Website
- http://www.sobe.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Sugar
- Categories
- Lemonade
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 2/2/2012
- Comments
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Calypso Natural Limeade
Anyone can drink lemonade. Lemonade is old school. You drank it. Your mom drank it. Her mom drank it. Her mom drank it. That's four generations of the same thing. What about limes, dude? They're there, too. Sprite uses them so why can't anyone else? Sure, they're more bitter, less sweet, and aren't used as much, but that last thing is the reason why they should be. Be a little different. "Oh lemonade?" you say, "No thank you. I only drink limeade." Bam. You've got an instant cult following. "Limeade?! What's that?" they will all ask as you take a sip of this off-green drink, trying not to show your quivering cheeks as they begin to feel the punishment of the powerful limes within this drink.
You are now on top of the pack. Alpha. Pinnacle. Apex. You have discovered limes and have used them for good rather than just a garnish. This Calypso drink you have fallen in love with is simply described as lemonade with limes instead of lemons. It tastes like limes, looks like limeonade would, isn't called "limeonade", and is called "limeade." Congratulations friend, you have arrived.
- Website
- http://www.kingjuice.com/
- Country
- United States
- Sweetener
- Pure Cane Sugar
- Categories
- Lemonade
- Rating
- Reviewed By
- Mike Literman on 2/1/2012
- Comments
- View and Leave A Comment
