Sobe (30 reviews)

Sobe Lifewater Acai Raspberry

Sobe Lifewater Acai Raspberry

Martha, I have zero idea as to why you keep buying me these diet drinks. I’m not fat, I’m just your average middle-aged man size and there is nothing wrong with that. I am comfortable in my body, as I hope you are in yours. I mean you don’t see me going around ordering you salad when we go out do you? That would just be rude. If you want to eat that cookie-sunday explosion, you go for it. It’s your life and you should enjoy it, just as I am going to enjoy my life in a way that is free from the poison diet taste.

Oh what’s that? You didn’t buy me this because you think I need to lose weight? You like my little paunch? Well isn’t that adorable. Why though, why do you keep buying these Lifewaters and put them in my lunch. They taste delicious? I doubt that. You see it says right there “0 calories” on the label. In my world that means this might be better for you but it’s going to taste horrendous.

Fine I’ll take a sip if it will make you happy. Well Martha, I owe you an apology. This is pretty darn good. It’s very light tasting. I can tell that it’s diet, but it’s not the normal flavor I associate with things of that nature. It’s kind of hidden in the back, right there with the acai. That is actually odd because acai is such a powerful flavor most of the time. Don’t look at me like that, yes I know what acai is and what it tastes like. Just because I work construction doesn’t mean I’m a complete dufus. I like to get a fancy juice every now and then. That’s not important though. This has a nice raspberry flavor with some acai hints around the edges. Like I said the taste of the stevia is somewhere below that.

I don’t know how Sobe did it, but I will definitely be sipping on these at work now. Not only does it taste good but it’s guaranteed that none of the other guys will steal it from me. Those jerks. Seriously though honey, are we getting some cookie-Sunday explosions or what. I’ve been thinking about it the entire time we’ve been talking about these drinks. Yes I know we’ll have to drive a half hour to the restaurant, but I want what I want and what I want is hot fudge drizzled over a giant soft cookie with seven different types of ice cream below it.

Website
http://www.sobe.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Reb A
Categories
Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 20th, 2014
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Sobe Lifewater Acai Raspberry

Sobe Lifewater Pacific Coconut

Sobe Lifewater Pacific Coconut

It has finally happened. I have found a coconut water drink that tastes exactly like I always thought coconut water would taste. To be clearer I mean it tastes like toasted coconut. To be even clearer it tastes like tanning oil. Now I’ve never used, nor tasted, tanning oil, as I believe it would make me spontaneously combust. I have smelled it and this tastes exactly like it smells. My ladyfriend also confirmed that it has the same taste. That is gross. Who wants to ingest anything like that? I honestly can’t imagine a single person out there who would buy this, try it, be able to stomach it at all, and then go back and buy some more. Is this drink some sort of tax write off for Sobe? There has to be some strange back story here and I want to hear it!

Website
http://www.sobe.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coconut, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 30th, 2012
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SoBe Lifewater Pacific Coconut with Coconut Water, 20 oz. (Pack of 24)

Sobe Vita-Boom Orange Carrot

Sobe Vita-Boom Orange Carrot

Can I let you in on a secret? I love grocery stores. I find them comforting to walk around. I really love going into grocery stores in other cities to see how they compare to the ones back home. Yesterday we drove back from the awesomeness of the Grand Canyon to the wretchedness of Las Vegas. On the way we stopped off in Kingman, AZ for dinner. We also hit up a grocery store, and for a fairly small dessert town this store was packed. Their drink selection was one of the best I have ever seen in a grocery store outside of Whole Foods. On top of that almost all of it was on sale. Who can argue with Sobe for $.88? How could I argue with an $.88 Sobe that we haven't reviewed yet, and that I've never seen back home?

I thought this drink would be nice for the morning since orange and carrot juice are the 2nd and 3rd ingredients. I should have read the label more, because it turns out it only contains 9% juice. As a result it tastes more like a drink than a juice, and "drinks" are simply not fit for just waking up. I don't want to wake up to 56 grams of added sugar. I want to be in a waking dream of freshly squeezed juice at every turn. Instead I'm stuck with this that has that flavor that is distinct to Sobe drinks. It's definitely more orange than carrot. Actually, it's one of those drinks that if someone poured you a glass and didn't say what it was you would never suspect there to be carrots in it. I mean who ever suspects carrots? Well I guess shepherds pie would.

Website
http://www.sobe.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Juice, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 17th, 2012
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Sobe Lifewater Blood Orange Mango

Sobe Lifewater Blood Orange Mango

Mallory, a dedicated woman, was determined to acquire mangos. She loved eating them and what made them better is that there was a large competition to acquire them, as there were limited quantities and a lot of demand.

One day, merchants infiltrated the town Mallory lived in and kidnapped her and made her work in their orange orchard. When working one day, she found a tree of blood oranges on the fringe of the orchard. She then got put in jail while trying to escape during one of her shifts. She wouldn’t tell anyone where the blood orange tree was. When released, Mallory immediately ran back to the blood orange tree, harvested as many as she could and escaped to a nearby village where she wasn't in danger of being found.

Thirsty, Mallory juiced some of her precious blood oranges as well as her favorite fruit, mangos. She used a local Stevia plant to sweeten it, a trick she learned in prison. She took a giant sip of it and was ecstatic. She had escaped the kidnappers and made a delicious juice. It tasted like blood orange, followed by a little mango, and then closed out with the sweetness of the sweetener. She settled into the town as a juice maker really solidifying her brand with her initial drink.

She would never forget the terrors that she faced in her past but looks forward to a bright future of juicing.

Website
http://www.sobe.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 11th, 2012
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Sobe Lifewater Pomegranate Cherry

Sobe Lifewater Pomegranate Cherry

If it was Sobe’s mission to take two of the most potent fruit juices this word has ever seen and use them to flavor water in a way that makes them not potent at all, well job well done. I actually don’t get much pomegranate out of this. It’s mostly just cherry and I’m okay with that. To be frank I’m getting pretty sick of our friend the pomegranate. He’s infiltrated far too much of the beverage world, and I could use a break from him. To get back on track, this like every Lifewater is just Sobe’s version of Vitamin Water and it’s completely apparent in the taste. Sure Sobe has been around longer, but their drinks didn’t use to be so “water based.” The only thing different between this and Vitamin Water is that this has taurine in it. I’m pretty sure no Vitamin Waters do. If I did a blind taste test I would guess this was a new flavor of Vitamin Water, which I suppose isn’t a bad thing. Billions of people, including myself, love their products and drink them all the time. Here’s to competition.

Website
http://www.sobe.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on June 25th, 2012
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Sobe - Lifewater Zingseng Pomegranate Cherry - 20 Fl. Oz. (Pack of 12)

Sobe Energize Green Tea

Sobe Energize Green Tea

I drank this for a long time and out of nowhere just stopped. I don't know what happened, probably nothing, but then I just stopped. Then I read that unfortunate article in either Men's Health or Maxim that put this drink in the "Do not drink" column versus something that has fewer calories. That being said, this has an abominable amount of calories. If you have an element of self-control, you will be fine. Half this and you're at a standard bottle of pop. Naturally, if you drink the whole thing because you're thirsty or weak you will ingest 240 calories. Vicious.

I do love this drink, though. It tastes nothing like green tea and everything like mint...something. If you took all the bite out of green tea, added sugar to cut it down even more, and then a secret ingredient that I think tastes like mint but half of the people that say that to disagree. Look I'm wrong about a lot of things a lot of the time and can accept this, but I have always thought it was minty.

This stuff rules. Drink it with a friend and don't get chunky together.

Website
http://www.sobe.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink, Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 30th, 2012
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SoBe Green Tea, 20-Ounce Bottles (Pack of 12)

Sobe Lifewater Strawberry Dragonfruit

Sobe Lifewater Strawberry Dragonfruit

Jeremy had a very limited space at his farm but since farming was in his blood, he never gave it up. He harvested only strawberries and herded one thing, which oddly enough, were dragons. Yes, sure the strawberries encroached into the dragon pen but the dragons never cared about having to eat them. Jeremy didn't mind either. It was a lot cheaper than feeding the dragons their usual diet of giant rats, mice, and Raisin Bran.

Once a week, Jeremy would milk the dragons to harvest their juice. Yes, dragons lactate juice. Where did you think that dragonfruit flavored drinks get their taste from, an actual fruit? That's crazy. He would get all the juice, put it inside a giant containment unit and then hand squish strawberries into it and make his own juice. This juice was nothing short of awesome, too. It was sweet and still left room to taste like both strawberries and dragonfruit. Jeremy was concerned about health and was also on the forefront of sweeteners so he used natural alternative sweeteners like Stevia.

One day, a giant tour bus drove up to Jeremy's farm. The door opened and loud rock music and smoke emerged. Three men in black suits came out. Two were some of the largest men he'd ever seen. The one in the middle carried a suitcase. He explained that he worked for Sobe and was prepared to offer him "a large sum of money" for his secret. Jeremy, having done this for about fifteen years, thought that it might be time to start something new like becoming a honeydipper or used car salesman. He shook the smaller mans tiny, frail, uncalloused hands, and said goodbye to the two behemoths who gave him a nod but didn't actually say anything which Jeremy thought was rude.

Jeremy was rich. His hard work had paid off and now he could spend time riding the dragons and eating strawberries rather than making juice out of them.

Website
http://www.sobe.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 7th, 2012
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Sobe Lifewater - Strawberry Dragonfruit - 20 oz (Pack of 24)

Sobe Smooth Strawberry Daiquiri

Sobe Smooth Strawberry Daiquiri

Marco and his family had money. Not only did they have money, but they were filthy, stinking rich. Where as normal families save all year to go on a weeklong vacation his family went to exotic locations every weekend. You would think that all of that travel time would be rough on a child of ten, but you’d be surprised at how much faster a Lear jet can get you places. Marco’s favorite weekend trips were the ones they took to tropical locations. He liked the beaches and all the crazy birds, but his favorite part was all of the crazy exotic sounds drinks his parents would have, but never let him try. As he laid his head down on his pillow each night his mind was filled with visions of margaritas, mojitos, mai tais, and daiquiris. The names and colors were so intriguing, but since they were “adult drinks” not a drop ever passed his lips. For years he begged, but his parents were relentless.

One unlikely day whilst on a trip to NYC where he had tagged along with his dad, his life changed forever. His dad had stopped at a corner store for a pack of cigarettes, and told Marco to grab himself a drink. Being disgustingly rich, Marco was not used to shopping for himself. There were people who did that sort of thing for him. He was shocked at the selection of drinks set before him. Instantly a pink bottle caught his eye. He instantly knew he needed this drink in his mouth as soon as possible. This was all before he even saw what flavor the drink was. When he pulled it from the shelf he saw that it was a strawberry daiquiri. His brain was suddenly filled with the Gabrielle song “Dreams” (you know the one “Dreams can come true, look at me baby I’m with you.”). It took until the second verse until he realized that the song was actually just on the radio in the shop. As he held it in his hands his dad gave him an understanding smile and gave the shop keep some money.

He wasn’t even out the door before he had opened the bottle and let the sweet, sweet liquid pour over his tongue. To tell you the truth, it wasn’t as magical as he had expected. Maybe it was because he was in a dirty metropolitan and not in a tropical paradise, but the drink seemed off. It certainly tasted like strawberries, but more like a combination of real strawberries and strawberry flavored candy. It was also way milkier/thicker than he had expected it to be. This wasn’t what he expected to be drinking when he turned 21 in Cabo. Okay this is stupid. This drink is okay, but it’s nothing special.

Website
http://www.sobe.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Reb A
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 22nd, 2012
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Sobe Smooth Strawberry Daiquiri, 20 Fl Oz (Pack of 12)

Sobe Lifewater Mango Melon

Sobe Lifewater Mango Melon

Sometimes we get to a point where we have just reviewed far too many flavors of the same product line. What’s left to say? That you’re stuck in a desert and your hallucinating from the heat and lack of fluids, so you follow a lizard, and the lizard talks to you and tells you the secrets of the universe, and informs you specifically what the secret behind pi is. Finally he reaches into his stomach and pulls out a bottle of mango melon flavored Lifewater. The bottle is dripping with viscera and such, but as I said you’ve been wandering this godforsaken desert for what feels like 40 days and nights and you’re wondering how the Jews did it in the bible, so you open the bottle and even though lizard guts are touching your lips you chug that bottle of refreshment. It tastes like someone dissolved a mango and melon flavored powder in a bottle of water and didn’t quite shake it up well enough. It also tastes very diet, but in the erythritol way and not the sucralose way, you know the way that is tolerable. As soon as you swallow that last drop that tastes somehow grainy even though it doesn’t in texture, you turn to look at the lizard, but you realize that you’re not in the desert at all. You are actually in the middle of math class and you’ve drooled all over your protractor. There is an empty bottle on the floor next to your desk and you have a vague recollection of buying it from the pop machine in the cafeteria. For some reason there is still lizard guts on your lips. Is that what’s left to say? If so, strange times indeed.

Website
http://www.sobe.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on April 11th, 2012
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SoBe Lifewater C-Boost Mango Melon, 20 oz (Pack of 24)

Sobe Lifewater Acai Fruit Punch

Sobe Lifewater Acai Fruit Punch

Dear old friend. I've missed you. You've grown up a lot since I've last seen you. Dare I say you've become a man while we've been apart? I might just say that. You have made new friends, I see. I don't blame you. I wouldn't have expected you to wait around for me after all these years. You've also lost a ton of weight. Good for you on that venture. You weren't fat before, but you had some extra chunk and bad skin.

So what have you been doing with yourself? You joined a gym and started eating better? That's awesome. Oh, you've replaced your regular sugar with Stevia? Good for you. Forward thinking. I wasn't introduced to your friend. Hello, my name is Mike. Oh, Acai? Interesting name. Is that Scandinavian? You don't know? Well, nice to meet you all the same. What else besides the gym, dude? It's been so long. Oh, you taste the same? Normally that would not be a big deal except that you have met your new friend Acai here and are using Erythritol and you kept your priorities in check. Everyone always loved you. Now you're even better!

Well here's my number. Don't let this happen again, Fruit Punch.

Website
http://www.sobe.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Diet, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on April 3rd, 2012
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SoBe Lifewater N-Dure Acai Fruit Punch, 20 oz (Pack of 24)
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