Natural Cane Sugar (19 reviews)

Onli Natural Grapefruit (Pomelo & Peach)

Onli Natural Grapefruit (Pomelo & Peach)

There beverages were a surprise treat. When I picked them up I saw that the flavors were Grapefruit, Hibiscus and Raspberry. It wasn’t until I got home that I realized that under the big flavor, others were listed. In this one the surprise visitors were pomelo and peach. Sure pomelos are similar to grapefruit, but why not mix them together to spice things up a bit? The result is a soda that is very much citrus based. I have an aversion to peach in drinks because it almost always tastes fake and like some sort of peach chemical and not fruit juice. In here it really tastes like neither and just makes the soda taste a bit crazy, but in a good way. The initial taste that greets you is most definitely grapefruit, but then the other two kick in and it is like some mad scientist performed experiments during a lightning storm and created a new fruit (no, not the coveted guavacado that I dream of so often). This is unlike any flavor I have tasted before. It’s quite delicious, but for some reason I cannot make it through an entire bottle in one sitting. I suppose that means I just get to enjoy it again a little bit later.

Website
http://onlibeverages.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Natural Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper 6 days, 21 hours ago
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Onli Hibiscus Pomegranate Aronia

Onli Hibiscus Pomegranate Aronia

Steve, I know you’ve been bummed because you are way underwater on your bills and you weren’t able to get away on your yearly vacation. I bet buying that $30,000 car that sucks immense amounts of gas doesn’t seem like the wisest idea in hindsight, does it? Also, I hate to bring it up, but you bought a $200,000 house. Not only did you’re payments go up $600/ month from what you were paying for rent, but at the end of your 30 year mortgage you will have paid over $450,000, but you know in three decades you’ll own the house free and clear, just in time to die. All of that makes perfect sense for someone who is a cashier at Walgreens though, right? Okay, I’ll ease up on you because I know you’ve been down lately. I mean you may be a dummy with no spending responsibility, but everyone needs to get out of town from time to time and feel some sunshine on their face.

Here I got you this; it’s like a vacation in a bottle. It’s an all-natural soda that isn’t like the junk you normally drink. It’s light, fruity and slightly floral. I know you have a dumb hatred on pomegranate because you think they are too difficult to eat, but this captures the flavor wonderfully without being overly bitter. No, it doesn’t taste like an old lady’s floral perfume. Hibiscus, is a magical flower that when mixed with a slight bit of cinnamon is one of the best flavors a beverage can have. I wasn’t sure what aronia was, but it’s apparently a super fruit that is similar to acai. I’m guessing it’s what that extra flavor in here is. It blends in perfectly in this soda whatever it is.

Seriously though, crank your heat, turn on all the lights, blast some relaxing music, close your eyes and sip this soda and you’ll feel like you were able to get away and are on some tropical island somewhere. It may not be the real thing, but it will give you a little escape from the life of debt you’ve gotten yourself into. Good luck digging yourself out of that hole.

Website
http://onlibeverages.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Natural Cane Sugar
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on September 13th, 2014
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Hawaiian Sun Green Tea with Ginseng

Hawaiian Sun Green Tea with Ginseng

Hawaii, man. Reason why it's so expensive to live there is because they're doing stuff right. They've only got what they've got on the island and everything that isn't indigenous probably is a super hassle to get there. But, the stuff they've got on the islands is awesome. This tea, for instance, is right. It's bitter from the green tea and ginseng but is sweet because of that sweet, sweet Hawaiian cane sugar. Oh to spend a half hour in one of those cane sugar farms...I would walk out with my own personal stalk and just enjoy life until my teeth fell out.

Come on, Continental United States. Get on it. Little Hawaii is getting stuff right and you're mucking it up with your garbage preservatives and diet nonsense. I'll pay a little more if you just drop all this penny pinching garbage and make something with quality. We deserve it. You've been making swill for too long and I'm about to just hand in my "land lubber" card and move to Hawaii and live off the land. Nothing but Spam, high fiving Duane Chapman at Chili's and this iced tea for me. Aloha Hawaii and peace out, New York.

Website
http://www.hawaiiansunproducts.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Natural Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on April 28th, 2014
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Hawaiian Sun Green Tea with Ginseng, 11.5-Ounce (Pack of 24)

Zum XR Xtended Release Sports Drink Natural Mango Green Tea

Zum XR Xtended Release Sports Drink Natural Mango Green Tea

Shakes the clown did not get his name for good reasons. He was known for shaking very badly while making balloon animals. He never knew why he shook and didn't ask a doctor until a group of kids were picking on him for being at a birthday party and it took him a long time to tie a knot.

He went to the doctor and the doctor asked him what was on his mind. Shakes, or to the doctor, Gerald, said that he didn't know what happened. The doctor asked him about a normal day and Gerald said that he would wake up, drink a bottle of mango iced tea, and go to work. The doctor asked him what brand of drink it was and he said it was called "Zum XR" and the doctor gave him a look, took off his glasses, and gave him a little chuckle. He said, "Gerald, do you feel fine for about a half hour and then start to shake?" Gerald said that he did. He said that he really likes the flavor of it. He said it tasted great and you could taste both mango and a decent, smooth not bitter green tea. It was well sweetened and he liked the little balls in the bottom. The doctor asked Gerald if he knew what the balls were. Gerald said that he didn't know. The doctor told him that it was time released energy beads that was just giving him too much energy and his body couldn't handle it. Gerald was happy that he knew what it was but sad that he might have to stop drinking his favorite drink.

The next week, Gerald went back to work for kids birthday parties and felt like he was doing the best because he wasn't shaking. He could tie balloons no problem. He had no problem squirting water from his lapel flower. He never missed another pie in the face. At the end of the shows, though, at least one person would ask him why he was called "Shakes" and he said that he used to shake all the time. The kids actually missed the shaking and he missed his favorite drink. He made the tough decision to be worse at his job but to enjoy his drink and live up to his namesake again. Shakes the clown was back!

Website
http://www.zumxr.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Natural Cane Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink, Iced Tea, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 30th, 2013
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Züm XR - Extended Release Sports Drink, 16 oz bottles (Pack of 12) (Natural Mango Green Tea)

That Indian Drink Raspberry Cinnamon Lassi

That Indian Drink Raspberry Cinnamon Lassi

Depending on what word you put the emphasis on this drink could have a unsavory name. I guess it all boils down to saying it as if it were a question. “THAT Indian drink?” makes it seem like the person can’t believe that you would choose that drink above others, and is slightly disgusted by it. “That INDIAN drink?” just makes you sound racist, as if you want nothing to do with all things Indian. “That Indian DRINK?” just makes you seem like a moron and that you don’t know what drinks are.

I would choose “THAT INDIAN DRINK!” because this is pretty darn good. It also acts as more of a dessert than a beverage, like a Indian milkshake if you will. For those of you who are uncultured buffoons who don’t own a monocle, a lassi is a sweetened yogurt drink. So it’s essentially raspberry yogurt, but thinned out, with a splash of cinnamon in it. I shook this a great deal, as the bottle recommended, but I didn’t get much cinnamon flavor until I got to the bottom 1/3 of the bottle. When I got there it was all worth it though. It’s thick and it’s exotic. I’m glad it only comes in an 8oz bottle though, because I don’t think I could handle much more than that.

Website
http://thatindiandrink.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Natural Cane Sugar
Categories
Yogurt
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 13th, 2013
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Zum XR Xtended Release Sports Drink Natural Alpine Berry

Zum XR Xtended Release Sports Drink Natural Alpine Berry

If this bottle weren’t completely sealed I would have questioned whether or not someone had replaced the beverage with some sort of poison. Actually, do you guys thing someone could have done that with a syringe in the nub at the bottom of the bottle? It really didn’t taste right. It had one of those flavors that set off alarms in your taste buds/brain that warn you to make sure you’re not drinking antifreeze. On top of that when I first shook it up there were these clouds floating in the drink that were definitely a different consistency than the rest of the drink. It’s a little disturbing.

So what we have here is a bottle that tastes like watered down berries mixed with some sort of coolant. Not exactly what I look for in a beverage. It’s a totally different chemical taste than other energy drinks. Apparently this is a natural poison.

As it turns out it either wasn’t poison at all, or I have a high tolerance. I drank this a while ago, and I have yet to shuffle off this mortal coil, or show any signs of doing so. Looks like “heart stoppage” does not need to be included in the list of possible side effects after all.

Website
http://www.zumxr.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Natural Cane Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 11th, 2013
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Züm XR - Natural Extended Release Sports Energy, 16 oz bottles (Pack of 12) (Natural Alpine Berry)

Zum XR Xtended Release Sports Drink Natural Wild Mandarin

Zum XR Xtended Release Sports Drink Natural Wild Mandarin

First there was 8 Minute Abs. Then the great 7 Minute Abs was thought of by a lonely hitchhiker. That self same hitchhiker then assured us that 6 Minute Abs could never exist, due to science. Years later the world is bombarded with 5-Hour Energy shots. They always seemed a bit scary to me. Time shouldn’t be able to be so concentrated into a little bottle. Finally everything has come together in one plastic container of Zum XR. The contents of this bottle will slowly release both caffeine and electrolytes over a 5 hour period. Think of how many sets of 7 Minute Abs you could do in that time. The caffeine will keep you going and the electrolytes will keep you hydrated. It’s a win-win situation and by my calculations you’ll have a month and a half’s worth of ab workouts in one afternoon. Who’s going to argue that science?

The functionality of this drink is right on the money. I drank one before I went to the gym and I ended up working out longer, and didn’t feel as worn out by the end. I also didn’t feel jittery at all. The problem is in the science of the flavor. It’s not grosssauce, but it does taste like watered down mandarin orange juice, with a bit of functionality weirdness in the aftertaste. It’s not something I would drink for the flavor, but it’s not bad compared to other poison tasting drinks that promise a somewhat similar functionality.

On another note, it says it shake the bottle to “unleash” the power of the energy beads that are in it (aka the cupcake sprinklesque tiny balls that are on the bottom). No matter how much I shook it I couldn’t get them to exist in the bottle, except at the bottom. By the time I got to the end of the drink I got a mouthful of the little guys and I could see how that could be a turn off for some people. So keep that in mind.

Website
http://www.zumxr.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Natural Cane Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink, Sports/Dietary Supplement
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on January 26th, 2013
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Züm XR - Natural Extended Release Sports Energy, 16 oz bottles (Pack of 12) (Natural Wild Mandarin)

Silk Chocolate Mint

Silk Chocolate Mint

When I saw this alongside Silk Nog my heart jumped because it's my favorite time of year. While many of my friends protested that it's "too soon" for eggnog, I disagree. It's never too soon and I wish it were offered year round.

While this is no nog, it's a seasonal drink so I couldn't pass it up. This is the friend your best friend brings along with them. You'd rather just hang out with the person you know and love, but you'll give this other friend a shot.

While this may be my first chocolate mint soymilk, it will not be my last. This stuff is really delicious! It's a very smooth chocolate with a nice crisp mint that isn't overpowering. While my love for eggnog has not be surpassed, this wonderful soymilk has earned its spot next to it in the fridge.

Website
http://www.silksoymilk.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Natural Cane Sugar
Categories
Milk, Soy
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on October 3rd, 2012
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Boing! Mango

Boing! Mango

Drinks that come in containers not normally associated with their type are always odd to me. This has been in my cupboard for a while and every few weeks I look at it, and it takes me a second to remember that it’s not mango soda. While it may have confused me I appreciate the effort put into this bottle. It’s neat, and I love the embossed “Boing!” on the bottle. The label is pretty great looking as well. Do you want to know something else? The juice inside the bottle isn’t half bad either. It’s more of a nectar than a juice, and that’s how I like my mango beverages. It’s thick and sweet, okay maybe a bit too sweet. I feel like the drink would have fared just fine without the added sugar. Oh well it’s in there, and there’s nothing I can do about that. Looks like I’ll just have to kick back and enjoy it anyways.

Website
http://www.bvdimports.com
Country
Mexico
Sweetener
Natural Cane Sugar
Categories
Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 14th, 2012
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Celestial Seasonings Black Tea Southern Sweet

Celestial Seasonings Black Tea Southern Sweet

Oh boy. The entirety of the South is going to be upset. Celestial Seasonings, the entry-level tea company that we don't have any reason to hate, is going to get themselves into trouble with this little guy. I've said it a lot, but I'll say it again. The key to a good sweet tea is the lack of ingredients. Celestial Seasoning knows what time it is and they know tea but for some reason, they never made the jump from regular, inexpensive hot tea, to cold brew tea. Now they have and people should watch out.

This tea is wonderful. It tastes like a great, homemade sweet tea. It's just the right amount of sweet and still tastes like a real tea. It's all contained in that tiny little container, too.

I only bought one type of Keurig K-Cups prior to this and that's the dark hot chocolate. Spending $2 on a drink is alright. It's right at the cusp of where I can take it or leave it. You can't buy less than sixteen of these and it costs usually around $11, which, to us Thirsty Dudes, it astronomical because we only need one drink and sometimes that is too much. In hindsight, I'm alright with spending that much now. Not because it comes out to less than $1 per glass, but because it's good enough that I will easily drink it again and again.

Website
http://www.celestialseasonings.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Natural Cane Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea, Keurig
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 15th, 2012
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Celestial Perfect Iced Tea Southern Sweet Keurig K-Cups, 16 Count
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