Not Listed (76 reviews)

Starbucks Mint Hot Chocolate

Starbucks Mint Hot Chocolate

There are two kind of mint hot chocolate and this is the better one. What makes one better than the other? Well, and I'm dropping names here like some old tart that lived it up in the rock scene of the dirty, dirty seventies. Tim Horton's mint hot chocolate is a pretty pathetic, although accurate, portrayal of the model. It is the same hot chocolate that they would serve you if you ordered it any other time of the year but with one, unwrapped little secret. They drop a starlight mint in there. It's, and I don't mean to offend anyone with this, a pretty "poor person's" mint chocolate.

Now I am quite sure that Starbucks uses some fancy syrup to both sweeten and flavor their drink. Whatever they use, it doesn't make the drink taste:
A: Like candy in an otherwise basic drink.
B: Like toothpaste.

These two "nots" together add up to a decent mint hot chocolate. It is strong but not as strong as I like to think that Starbucks drinks are. It's a good, heavy cup of hot chocolate made with more decent ingredients than your powder garbage in the cupboard. I don't know what the Italian name for the twelve-or-so ounce cup I had was, but it was about the maximum I could have taken. I love chocolate and I love hot chocolate but add mint in there and it cuts my kid-like ability to eat endless amounts of chocolate down significantly. It was, while it lasted, a very good drink, though. Now I didn't buy it but I'm sure that I would not have been fully comfortable at whatever the purchase price was but hey, I don't make a lot of money and therefore will buy many more "poor person" renditions of drinks than someone in tax brackets above mine will. Jay and I live well beneath our means and that includes frivolous purchases like five-dollar small hot chocolates. I downright don't think I'm worth it but that's my own internal struggle I've got to deal with.

Website
http://www.starbucks.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Milk
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 17th, 2013
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Dinosaur Barbeque Sweet Tea

Dinosaur Barbeque Sweet Tea

Look at that picture. It is as if the gods of the South have beamed a little bit of their heart and soul down on my rustic table. Ice. Sugar. Tea Period. Done and done, right?

Look. It's not normal that we review something like this that isn't purchasable in a store but they've got eight (current) locations and I'm pretty sure that this recipe is the same throughout the chain.

The only thing that this drink had that is optional is a big ol' slab o' lemon but this, this is what Sweet Tea is. Also, it's cheap, as it should be, and there are unlimited refills, as there should be. Happiness in a canning jar.

Website
http://www.dinosaurbarbque.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
5/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 24th, 2014
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Tim Horton's Sweet Tea

Tim Horton's Sweet Tea

It's always strange living somewhere where a staple restaurant closes and reopens as something else. Down the street from my office, which I have worked at for six years, there has been an Arby's. Now look, this is not a debate about the quality of Arby's. I personally think that Jamocha shakes are great. Their chocolate turnovers are fantastic and a good old-fashioned roast beef is a fine sandwich. A few months back, it closed abruptly and all was silent about what was going to happen. A month later, rumors started circulating about a Tim Horton's taking its place. A couple months later, late last week, it reopened as a Tim Horton's - Cold Stone combo.

I braved a "blizzard" today to get lunch and I got this little number to drink. It doesn't matter how many inches per hour we're getting, sweet tea is always a sound choice. Especially when it's decent sweet tea as this is, luckily. It's approachably sweet. What do I mean by that? Well some sweet teas are too sweet and people can't handle it. It's fine. It's just that they can't handle it. A 670 horsepower Black Series Mercedes Benz SL63 AMG is a gorgeous car but it's simply too much car for some people to handle.

This tea has a good tea taste and I bet that if I asked, it's one of those large metal brewers that makes over a hundred ounces of tea with sugar in it. That's all it needs to be and I think that's all it is. Now I want to imagine what it's like to drive that Merc. I bet it's life altering. Could I handle all that power? My car has 158 horsepower. What's four times that?

Website
http://www.timhortons.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 12th, 2014
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Cold Stone Pineapple Blueberry

Cold Stone Pineapple Blueberry

You get that itch that says, "You need something else, man. Get it." and you know what you have to do. Your body arises from its seat, which has held the weight of your body for too long and you begin walking, as if asleep out the door. You get to your destination having no recollection of how you got there and before you know it, you are ordering a smoothie from the window. You shake your head to wake yourself out of the haze you are in and you wake up with a pineapple and blueberry smoothie sitting in a "leather" chair next to a "fire" inside of a fine new establishment filled with employees who want to be anywhere but there and patrons that want to be anywhere but home. As you take your first sip you realize that everything is fine and fades away like smoke from a freshly blown out candle. This is a cold, fruity smoothie that your body craved and didn't give you the opportunity to deny. The blueberry pokes his head out more than the shy pineapple even though it would have been better the other way around. The mix itself is thick and cold and comes out almost tubular through the straw until it melts on your tongue. The seeds and grit and grime of the natural fruit add to the pleasing texture of the drink.

As you take your final sips, the outside world comes into focus and you realize that no more than fifteen minutes have passed and you are a block from work. You just needed a break from the monotony of making other people money. You earned it. Now you have to get back to work.

Website
http://www.coldstonecreamery.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Smoothie
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on April 15th, 2014
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Tim Horton's Frozen Hot Chocolate

Tim Horton's Frozen Hot Chocolate

Frozen hot chocolate is a real "stickin' it to the man" drink. It's as if Tim Horton's is saying, "Screw you, winter. You've pestered us long enough. Now look what we've done to your precious cold weather staple drink. How does that feel? Not good, right? Yeah. Now you know how we felt after your sub-zero temperatures. This is for all the times I had to scrape ice off my car windows while the temperature was in the negatives."

This drink is the eye-for-an-eye that you see in movies where the bad guy has at the good guy's partner and then, at the end, the good guy turns the tables and has a little fun with the bad guy until the cops come. The cops come, know the whole situation, pretend not to see the good guy hit the bad guy's hand with a hammer and then tells the good guy to hit the road and takes the bad guy off to jail.

I have to be honest here; I've already had two of these. They're that good. It's super creamy because they put half a pound of rich, chocolate whipped cream on top, which ends up melding in with the frosty treat beneath and smoothing the whole thing out. If you could envision what a chocolate mousse drink would taste like, this is it. They also put what they probably call "fudge" in it but is really only chocolate syrup. I'm not dismissing their efforts, but that's not fudge. Either way, everything mixed together or intentionally separated upon ordering is a delight that could be anyone's guilty pleasure because it's abominably terrible for you but seriously, you couldn't guess that something with a mound of rich chocolate whipped cream on it is going to be bad for you? Shame on you.

Website
http://www.timhortons.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Milkshake
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 1st, 2014
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Wendy's Blackberry Lemonade

Wendy's Blackberry Lemonade

I have been in Florida for the past five days and I have not done any reviews. I apologize but it wasn't for lack of trying. Where I was wasn't exactly "bodega friendly" and everywhere I went had stuff we already did. To my surprise, when I went to Wendy's to get a strawberry tea they had this little number. Sure, I wish this was a blackberry tea and not blackberry lemonade but I was hot and needed to cool down with something. This was a good choice but a choice I probably won't make again. Why? Well every sip was very sweet and that's just part of the lemonade. She is naturally a sweet beast and Wendy's "medium" is too large and that is a lot of sugar to ingest. The lemonade was nice, though and the blackberry was quite present in every sip. You could see some "stuff" at the bottom (sugar and lemon bits), which is always good when it comes to lemonade.

My thirst was quenched and my temperature dropped but blackberry tea it was not. I know it's not what I ordered but with every sip I wish that it existed. Wendy's if you're reading this, whatever you do to extract the blackberry to put in the lemonade, put it in the tea, too. Your strawberry tea is now a staple every time I go there. The blackberry would instantly and surely surpass that.

Website
http://www.wendys.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Lemonade
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 14th, 2014
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Dr. Pepper Freezes Vanilla

Dr. Pepper Freezes Vanilla

Jay and I are not fine food eaters. We do not tuck our napkins in our shirts when we eat. Heck, I don't even use napkins. When we go out, we just go real easy. We don't always necessarily go "safe" but we take what's there. We are not beggars nor are we choosers.

Today, our adventure to an island that did not prove to be as "great" as it claimed to be and out plans went south so we had to make other arrangements. Those arrangements? Taco Bell, Trader Joe's, and Guitar Center. When we go, we go big and get fun new varieties of Mountain Dew and I got this, a Freeze. I haven't been to Taco Bell in a while but this is a new thing that they most certainly did not invent, as it’s just a Slurpee. Vanilla Dr. Pepper, though. That is something. It's not exactly my highly desired cherry chocolate Dr. Pepper but it's something. So how "something" was it? It was just something, really. Perhaps not enough vanilla. Sure a Dr. Pepper Slurpee is wonderful but I would have liked a little bit more vanilla, you know, because it's what I ordered.

We made the most after other people decided to turn their Memorial Day into a Memorial Extended Weekend. You work at a music store. Aside from people murdering Stairway every twenty-five minutes, you've got it pretty easy.

Website
http://www.drpepper.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 24th, 2014
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Dunkin' Donuts Coolatta Arnold Palmer

Dunkin' Donuts Coolatta Arnold Palmer

I know people, adults, who drink copious amounts of Arizona Arnold Palmer. Copious. Too much. Yeah, I'll say it. Too much. Iced tea and lemonade or as it's nicknamed, "Half & Half" is great when you've got great ingredients. A good lemonade and a good sweet tea are some of the simplest drinks to make. Ready? For both there are only four ingredients and two of them overlap and one of those is water. Water, sugar, black tea, lemon. Done. There is more in this and you can tell because it has a strange viscosity. Not a common complaint among us Thirsty Dudes but this was an iced beverage that somehow never managed to taste iced. It just tasted like a twenty percent thick Arizona Arnold Palmer.

If I had my druthers, and this would most certainly not be the voice of the masses, I would have just used Dunkin' Donuts' sweet tea because it's pretty great. The lemonade, I don't know if Dunkin' sells it but they theoretically could and just do everything in house. I don't get the need for the "Arizona" registration mark unless Arizona is supplying the, presumably, syrup that is dastardly ruining this otherwise good drink.

This drink is not what you want it to be and is let down by the demand for name dropping and laziness. There. I said it. Sorry, America.

Website
http://www.dunkindonuts.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Iced Tea, Lemonade
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 4th, 2014
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Dunkin' Donuts Frozen Mocha Coffee

Dunkin' Donuts Frozen Mocha Coffee

Oh, you're right. I shouldn't have the whipped cream on top of this. Do you remember that time we went to that fancy restaurant, I got a small vanilla ice cream and diarrhea ran rampant? What a night? Good thing I had workout pants in the trunk of my car. What a mess. This drink is good without it, though. Oh, I got the...what is this called, frozen mocha coffee. Isn't it implied that mocha is coffee? It seems a bit redundant.

This is good, though hardly mocha, if you ask me. I don't get a lot of coffee. Last night when I said I was coming to bed, I've got to come clean about something. I have been catching up on Party of Five. I just never got around to it. I stayed up way too late and thought this might give me some pep but this seems like more of a chocolate Icee than a coffee and chocolate Icee. It's not quite coffeeless, a made up word, but it's precariously on the edge of being so.

I'm having order regret, though. I kind of wish I had gotten the whipped cream and suffered the consequences. I think that if I had stirred it in and made a whipped mocha coffee drink, it would have thickened it up and been something more substantial. Look, I'm not complaining, but I'm always looking to enhance my experiences, you know. I've got to say, this is a great second date. It would have been a shame if I got diarrhea again. Let's end this one on a solid note. Ha. Remember when I was talking about poop and then I talked about something being "solid." Ha. Good one, me.

Website
http://www.dunkindonuts.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 5th, 2014
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Tim Horton's Iced Cappuccino Oreo

Tim Horton's Iced Cappuccino Oreo

Remember when you wanted to start the day drinking something healthy and you decided that it was too gross to deal with so while you let a five dollar bottle of juice rot in the morning sun, you bought something that has the word "Oreo" in it to wash the foul taste of "health" out of your mouth? Yeah. Happens all the time, right?

At McDonald's, they have a chocolate chip Frappe that has bits of chocolate chips in the drink. They are men of their words, those McDonald's bros. Tim Horton's? I cannot say the same thing. Oreo crumbles atop some whipped cream atop a regular iced cappuccino? That's insufficient. You didn't make anything as much as spill something over a regular drink and lazily call it something else. You don't have vanilla ice cream with caramel sauce on it and call it caramel iced cream, do you?

It's almost hard to rate this because it's such a lazy attempt at something that would otherwise have been pretty good but I'll give it a go. You like iced cappuccinos from Tim Horton's right? Cool. You'll love this. You know what would be cool? To sprinkle Oreo crumbles on top as a garnish. Who could complain about that? No one. Oh, no. That's not an Oreo iced cappuccino, it's just a regular iced cappuccino with Oreo's on it. It taste like coffee, is cold, and has whipped cream with Oreo crumbs on it. Period.

Website
http://www.timhortons.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 12th, 2014
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