Not Listed (76 reviews)

Wendy's Iced Coffee Mocha

Wendy's Iced Coffee Mocha

There was a period of about five years where I wouldn't step foot in a Wendy's. I got food poisoning from a taco salad and hallucinated. My friend called me and I told him that I couldn't leave my bed and that I was "trippin' balls." I'll never forget. Cut to many years later and we've made amends. I'm not one to hold a grudge so it was only a matter of time before we got back together.

Now that we're friends again, I try their new stuff when it comes out; for me and for you. I don't know how new this is but I don't remember seeing it before so I got it. I never know what to expect with coffee because I don't know what ratio of coffee to other will be. In this case, I'm saying it's 2:1. I don't drink coffee but I have drunk enough coffee drinks to feel like I know what the scale of coffee is. This is an average coffee with enough mocha in there to distract you from it. Together it works but I think on it's own it couldn't hack it. A fast food coffee connoisseur could tell me for sure but I feel pretty confident in saying that. It was not too sweet and didn't taste like someone just threw some chocolate syrup and sugar in an old cup of coffee so that's a plus. Like I said, together they work well together. Aside, it would be like Chris Lowe without Neil Tennant. It just wouldn't work. Neil, I'm sorry, but you should know that "Please" is one of the top five pop records of all time. I don't know if Neil could do it without you. You are a team. Please stay that way forever.

Website
http://www.wendys.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 5th, 2012
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Burger King Frappe Mocha

Burger King Frappe Mocha

Dear King,
I understand the role of a king and I wonder what you are the king of. No one is the king of burgers. That is just a nickname. You have been "the king" for a while but I am wondering what your jurisdiction is. You spend a lot of time modeling for toys and being creepy around town but I often wonder what you do. I am not second-guessing your king-hood, but I just would kind of like your resume.

While we are talking about the things you've done, you've done a good job with your Whopper line. I had an "Angry Whopper" and it was spicy and still retained that quintessential Whopper attitude. I also had the Carolina Whopper and it was good but it was very saucy. Very saucy, like some sort of old woman freshly divorced and ready to paint the town red. Very saucy.

While you're kinging it up, you should know that although I appreciate you looking out for the kids, your servants are kind of messing things up. Kids nowadays are a bit chubby and you made the sweeping declaration of making things healthier. For that, I appreciate it. You are a wonderful, healthy king, but your servants have served my young son french fries instead of apples. I didn't know until I was home and can't give him a serving, even if it is small, to him. He's too young.

Now on to what you've been waiting for: compliments. Your Frappe line is wonderful. It's pretty great and it was actually easy to look at. It looked like one from an advertisement. The consistency was almost like a looser milkshake and it was perfect. It was very mocha and chocolate and just a little bit of coffee. I don't have any improvements for it. A little whipped cream on top and some chocolate sauce as a lovely decor.

The king, although I don't know your role in this world aside from your spokespersoning for a burger franchise, you're alright in my book. Keep creating Whoppers and keep coming up with new menu items and make sure to give my little buddy apples from here on out. He likes fries too much to eat them.

Website
http://www.bk.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee, Milkshake
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 18th, 2012
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Tim Horton's Iced Cappuccino Mint Chocolate

Tim Horton's Iced Cappuccino Mint Chocolate

Well this is something different. I don't drink hot coffee. I just don't. I get gimmicky drinks when I go to coffee shops as you can probably tell with my copious amount of Frappuccino and Coolatta reviews. This iced cappuccino is no different. It's a frothy, foamy, iced coffee drink. Also, the fact that it's chocolate mint screams, "not legitimate coffee." Back to something different. What's different is that I bought one today (pictured) and it is currently and by the time you read this, was disgusting. I will describe that in detail and then describe all the other ones that I've had.

I woke up, felt fine, but didn't have time for a proper breakfast so I got little doughnut holes AKA "timbits." While I was there, I thought it would be a good time to get a little drink for myself to review/enjoy. A nice woman with a not so nice crustache took my order and delivered to me the worst iced cappuccino I've ever had. I don't need to tell you that I don't drink so I am basing this off assumption but this drink tastes like someone pulled the old teaspoon/tablespoon mixup and put way too much creme de menthe in this because it tastes borderline alcoholic in it's concentrated mintitude (not a word).

All other ones that I have had are a nice blend of chocolate and mint and I don't need to drink from the top in hopes to avoid the mint disaster that is sleeping at the bottom. It's a good, refreshing drink that I enjoy getting on rare occasions. I also only get a small and I never get the "supreme" option, which is like the top trim of a car. Whipped cream and chocolate and caramel syrup. Oh, it looks great and nothing looked sadder than the drink that I received today, all naked in a clear cup, but I don't need/want those extra calories and it's honestly aesthetic unless you really have an affinity for whipped cream. I might save myself more extra calories by throwing this in, what the British call, "the bin."

Website
http://www.timhortons.com
Country
Canada
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 11th, 2012
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Falling Sky Brewing Firefly Chai Fizz

Falling Sky Brewing Firefly Chai Fizz

My good friend and business partner Alex Wrekk went to a brewery in Eugene, OR on her day off yesterday. While she went for the beer, she excitedly called me to tell me about the flavors of soda they also made. Later in the day she surprised me with bottles of two of them! Isn't she the best?!

I've only had one chai soda before, but it's one of my favorite sodas of all time. The smell of this is strong of chai, which is awesome. While I don't drink chai tea as much as I used to, I still love the smell of it. The chai taste isn't as intense as I was hoping, but it's still good. It almost taste like weak grapefruit soda, with a splash of chai.

Since this was made at a brewery, I can only assume by the taste of it that it is a fermented soda. I'm not a huge fan of fermented sodas so that might be throwing me off a bit. They definitely got the 'fizz' part of the name down. This is one of the fizziest soda's I've ever had.

Website
http://fallingskybrewing.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Iced Tea, Soda Pop
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on September 7th, 2012
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O-Key Refrescos (Yellow)

O-Key Refrescos (Yellow)

I think I found this soda in a little Mexican mart in Philly. There is no flavor listed on it, nor are their ingredients listed. I always assumed that it was a pineapple soda, and since that is something I love I’ve been saving it for an appropriate time. When I finally drank it last night I felt I had taken a one-way train ride to disappointment city. Where I had expected an uber sweet candied pineapple flavor, all I got was the taste of over sweetened bubbly water, with only the faintest tinge of some sort of citrus. I don’t even know if this was supposed to be pineapple anymore. I only made it a quarter way through the bottle when I decided that drinking this wasn’t worth it.

As a beverage it’s not gross, it’s just there, and not what I look for in a soda at all. This is sub-store brand quality. On the other hand it does have a really cool bottle that I enjoy a great deal. Still, that is not enough to save this soda.

Country
Mexico
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 28th, 2012
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Mountain Dew Johnson City Gold

Mountain Dew Johnson City Gold

First off, I’d like to say how stoked I am that Mountain Dew included us in their “pre-promotion” group or whatever they call it. Getting two cans of what looks like top-secret soda in the mail is a great feeling. A plain silver can with a inkjet printed label with little to no info makes me feel even more like a scientist working on a secret program. In order to keep up the mystery I took a picture of the can cast in shadows. All that I knew about this drink was that it’s their new flavor, that is going to have different regional names, and that it is malt flavored. Now I’ve had my severe issues with some malt drinks (i.e. Malta Goya), but I’ve also had some that were pretty spectacular (apple and pineapple ones come to mind). I was hoping this would be more like the latter than the previous, as it has added citrus flavor. It turns out the flavor falls somewhere in the middle of great and gross.

When I cracked open the can I almost didn’t take a sip. It smelled so much like beer that I was afraid that Mountain Dew might be marketing a new alcoholic beverage. I made my ladyfriend taste it, and she said that while it did smell like cheap beer, it didn’t taste like it. That was all the info I needed and I took a few sips. It really tasted nothing like it smelled. It had a slight malt flavor, but it the main flavor was a slightly more lemon lime ridden Mountain Dew. My relief was great, and I decided that this was actually a tasty beverage. I went about my business, periodically taking a sip over the next 15 minutes. With each sip the citrus flavor decreased and the malty beer taste increased. It was still drinkable, but getting worse. Then I burped. That burp was so reminiscent of beer that it was completely disgusting. I took one more sip, and decided that at this point it tasted like the can was 2/3 beer and 1/3 Mountain Dew. It surely was not for me. If it were just the initial flavor, without the beer aftertaste, I could get down with this. As it stands: no thank you.

I’m not sure who they are going to market this drink towards, but I don’t think it’s the normal high school/gamer crowd. What high schooler is going to want something that tastes like beer, but doesn’t get them drunk? I applaud Mountain Dew for trying something new, and something out of the ordinary at that, but I feel they missed their mark too much for this to be much of a success.

Website
http://www.mountaindew.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Soda Pop
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on August 23rd, 2012
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Tim Horton's Iced Cappuccino Mocha

Tim Horton's Iced Cappuccino Mocha

It appeared that the only place for John to get wonderful, cold coffee drinks was Asian markets. He didn't mind since they came in great little cans of all shapes and no matter which one he picked, they were all about the same and they were all good. That is until he took a trip to the Great White North, Canada.

He went to go to a conference on fishing lures when some fishing friends coerced him to go to a place called Tim Horton's. He went in the summer when it was very hot outside and thought that straight, hot coffee would have been a terrible choice. He saw that they were advertising a new iced mocha so he decided to give that a go. Two minutes later he was in heaven. It was cold, chocolaty, and made from an honest coffee. Not to mention, for the sweet tooth that he had from time to time, they put chocolate whipped cream with chocolate syrup on top. Whenever he decided he needed a break from the coffee, he pulled the straw out a bit and had some chocolate. It was like they thought of everything.

John had a great time in Canada. He learned a lot about fishing up north, what lures are coming out, and what place to go to when he wants a good mocha. Canada is alright in John's book.

Website
http://www.timhortons.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 31st, 2012
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McDonalds McCafe Chocolate Chip Frappe

McDonalds McCafe Chocolate Chip Frappe

I've been doing a lot of thinking about McDonald's as of late. I am thirty. When I was a kid, my parents would take us to McDonald's. It was an event. It wasn't a "my family is poor and we can only afford McDonald's" routine. We were a family of six and food gets expensive to everyone, plus, fifteen plus years ago, we didn't know what we do today about McDonald's so to take a family there for dinner wasn't frowned down upon. Sure, now I eat at McDonald's two to three times a year now that I'm a crappy adult, but McDonald's is trying. To all of the McHaters out there, they're trying. You realize that this isn't Mama Mia's Pizzeria, right? They don't have like three restaurants outside of the South Bend Indiana city line. They have over 33,000 locations worldwide and when they have to make a change, they have to roll it out to almost all those locations. When people decided that the McNuggets weren't safe for consumption and they rolled out the "100% Chicken" McNuggets, that was a huge ordeal that has to take months if not years, to deploy.

So McDonald's is trying. They've got a new, fancy coffee shop built into stores and have dabbled with some Angus beef and more quality ingredients than the stuff they've been using the past two decades. Even people that hate McDonald's have to give them credit for trying to compete while simultaneously trying to increase the quality of their food while still keeping prices low. Not an easy task. I've been thinking and reminiscing about my youth inside of McDonald's.

While reading The Impulsive Buy's awesome review of this drink, I decided I needed it. I didn't ride my bike to work so that I could drive to work and stop at McD's and get this drink. I'm happy I stopped. You know why? Well it's simple. It's because this is a very good drink. If I could extend on what the lovely and talented Marvo said, I would say, in true Thirsty Dudes fashion, that this drink tastes like the minds behind Caramello created a limited edition "coffee" version. You've got a chocolate and coffee outside and the standard, delicious caramel inside. Every once in a while you get the rather pleasurable experience of sucking up some baby sized chocolate chips in your mouth through the straw.

McDonald's. I have eaten at your locations less and less through the years but that doesn't mean that I have given up on you. You are a giant cooperation, but you’re not evil. You do what you have to do when you are that big. Cuts have to happen and quality has to go down. It's natural. Your nuggets are wonderful and I still love McChicken sandwiches. You're alright in my book. Also, I doubt you're hurting so don't take what people say so hard.

Website
http://www.mcdonalds.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on July 13th, 2012
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Tim Horton's Iced Cappuccino Brownie Caramel

Tim Horton's Iced Cappuccino Brownie Caramel

As the sun shines down on us on this beautiful Friday morning, it can only mean one thing: it is time to get some doughnuts, or as the laymen spell it "donuts," for work. While I was there, I couldn't help but get this drink. I got it once before but didn't review it. Hey, a man needs a break from reviewing everything he drinks.

This should be noted, so I'm noting it for you here. The first drink I got had "brownie" crumbles on it. I quoted brownie because Oreo cookie crumbs are not brownie. It's either that or just the crustiest brownie crushed into the smallest crumbs you've ever seen. You might expect a brownie chunk or something. Small. You're not greedy or stupid. What? Is Tim Horton going to put a quarter of a brownie into every drink? You're crazy if you think that. Crazy. Saying crumbs is even an understatement. Also, they put so much on that I opened my window and blew half of them off. Not because I didn't want them but because they were quickly filling up my lap and my car seat. I can't have that. That describes volume one of my brownie caramel excursion. Volume 2? Thick fudge syrup. I was fine with it. I have a mental image of brownie and syrup isn't it but I'm not Webster or Encyclopedia Britanica so I don't give a rip. Fudge. Who's arguing about it? No one.

Caramel? Yeah it's there, but I didn't know there was a shortage on the stuff. They squirt like a tiny line on the lid and call it a day. Look, I'm not ordering something prefaced with "Brownie Caramel" and looking for something healthy. You call this "supreme?" Load it up, son. You're not getting paid on caramel reserves.

There is a fair amount of pretty thick chocolate whipped cream and you can either munch it off the top or stir it in and creamify your drink. I do a half and half and get a big mouthful of whipped cream and smooth out my drink.

Once you get past the decor, it's the same iced cappuccino that you've grown to love. Like a mocha Icee. It's good and I don't expect them to change the base for every iteration of the drink.

This is good. It's probably terrible for you and anyone who gets something larger than a small is masochistic. Caramel, barely fudge, chocolate, coffee? How can that be alright for you. It's a treat. Get it when you're having a great day or a terrible day. Nothing in between.

Website
http://www.timhortons.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on June 15th, 2012
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Oregon City Soda Company Root Beer

Oregon City Soda Company Root Beer

My friend and business partner Alex Wrekk bought this for me today at a Pizzeria in a section of North Portland called Kenton. The photo is the only label that was there, the actual bottle was a generic brown glass bottle with no markings on it.

I was hesitant to try a drink in an unmarked bottle, but I'm glad I did because this root beer is great! It has a great anise taste (and I love anise). It reminds me a little of Virgil's, but more complex and not as heavy. The only word that comes to mind when trying to describe the aftertaste is "earthy". I hope that doesn't make me sound like a hippie.

Website
http://www.ocsodaco.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Not Listed
Categories
Root Beer, Soda Pop
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Derek Neuland on April 24th, 2012
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