Rockstar (28 reviews)

Rockstar Energy + Electrolytes Cucumber Lime

Rockstar Energy + Electrolytes Cucumber Lime

In recent times slowly but surely we have seen a rise in the number of cucumber flavored drinks that are on the market. It’s nowhere near the amount of pomegranate or acai, but every once in a while a new one will pop up, and every time I get stoked. Cucumber is a wonderful flavor that I find ridiculously refreshing. The thing is that there are two different cucumber flavors, the pleasant “meat” of the vegetable flavor, which is what I usually find ideal, and the slightly dirty taste of the skin, which I still enjoy, but just not as much. I have some friends who hate the second version (I’m looking at you Jay Zubricky). Upon first sip of this I thought to myself, “This is more skin that meat, but I’m okay with it. It tastes pretty fantastic and it doesn’t really taste like an energy drink. “ By the time I had taken two more sips my opinion had completely changed and I had had enough of this drink. What went from a slightly dirty, yet pleasant, cucumber flavor suddenly took a drastic turn into the world of diet sugar water that only vaguely tasted like cucumber let alone lime. I knew that they used a mixture of real sugar and sucralose in here to keep the calories low, but at first the fake sugar flavor was nowhere to be found. Suddenly it was all I could taste. I didn’t even make it through half the can before I dumped it out on the side of the road. Well, at least it gave me a little bit of pep, even though my taste buds suffered for it.

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on July 11th, 2016
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Rockstar Revolt Killer Citrus

Rockstar Revolt Killer Citrus

As you may know from reading thirsty Dudes (You don’t, because you don’t. I mean, why would you?) I have a sensitivity to caffeine and energy drinks can really screw with me. I don’t drink them very often because of this. The thing is that I actually kind of like the weird energy drink taste that exists nowhere else in the beverage world. On top of that there are situations where I have to be up until nearly dawn and the chances of me staying awake that late on my own are slim. Friday was one of those nights. I knew I needed some help and figured I might as well cross another drink off the Thirsty Dudes list, so I stood way longer than any human should in front of the beverage cooler checking each of the energy drinks to our master list to see what we hadn’t reviewed yet. Shockingly there were very few that we hadn’t written about. I’m a fan of citrus, and the green of the can made me think it would be heavier on the lime side of things, so I chose this can of Rockstar Revolt.

This most definitely did not taste like I had anticipated. I had expected a lime version of a classic energy drink. That weird part bubblegum part citrus taste mixed with a whole lot of lime. Instead, this tastes like 7 Up or Sprite with a little something extra in it. That something is kind of like this was made from a powder and it wasn’t missed up enough. There isn’t an actual gritty texture to this, but it tastes like there should be. I don’t understand where that is coming from. There is no trace of the “energy drink taste” that I mentioned earlier, this is its one thing. There is also no real taste of the orange juice that is listed in the ingredietns.

I personally think that lemon lime is the most boring of soda flavors, but I know there are people out there who love it, or it wouldn’t be such a staple. This is going to make some people very happy.

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 5th, 2017
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Rockstar Ginger Brew

Rockstar Ginger Brew

I don’t know about anyone else, but when I think of a Rockstar slinking across the stage with the confidence that makes the straightest of males question their sexuality; I instantly think of ginger ale. Sweaty and shirtless in skintight jeans doesn’t make me think of whiskey at all, just a good wholesome soda. I am obviously being sarcastic, but the truth is that while I am incredibly far from being a rock star whenever I’m playing a show if I had to choose between liquor and ginger ale, the root soda would win every single time. I am far from cool. I do have to admit that I sometimes do like to drink an energy drink before I play though. It’s a bad habit that I formed from Red Bulls being stocked in green room fridges. Am I just going to say no to that? I mean I probably should, but I am weak willed. This is like that Red Bull, except it tastes nothing like a chemical flavored energy drink (which I do love) and really only tastes like ginger ale. In a blind taste test I would instantly identify it as that specific soda and would probably never guess that it would get me wired. Isn’t that what any of us want? To get crazy and not have to feel like we are poisoning ourselves?

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink, Ginger
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 8th, 2018
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Rockstar Energy + Electrolytes Jamaica Cooler

Rockstar Energy + Electrolytes Jamaica Cooler

Jamaica? Jamaica? Are we talking the island country or are we talking about the Spanish word for hibiscus(sounds like hamica)? This just makes me think of Mr Burns in the grocery store saying ketchup and catsup over and over…Jamaica…hamica…Jamaica…hamica…

I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be hibiscus via aqua fresca, but for some reason it tastes like 50% of it is an apple energy drink, which is oddly not bad. It borders on that gross fake green apple taste, but it stays on the good tasting side of that divide. It also has a bit of a Jolly Rancher strawberry taste to it. So yeah, it has a fake strawberry apple flavor with perhaps some hints of hibiscus around the edges. That sounds like it should be disgusting, but luckily it doesn’t taste overly sweet, so that saves it. I get that they were going for an aqua fresca style beverage and it’s kind of there. I just wish it tasted more like the style of hibiscus I love aka it mixed with cinnamon and other spices. If that was how this turned out it could have been problematic for me as I would want it all the time.

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 17th, 2018
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Rockstar Mojito

Rockstar Mojito

This…oh boy…this drink. This is something. The something this is just happens to be one of the worst beverages I have ever tasted. At first my brain told me that this tastes the way that horses smell. I know that shouldn’t be correct, since horses smell nothing like mint nor lime, but that was the signal that my taste buds were reporting back to my cranium. I don’t even know if that makes any sense to anyone, so I will put it another way. This also tastes like what I could only assume it would be like if you cool a bottle of coolant for a car and mixed in the fakest lime flavor you have ever tasted and then gave it some sort of coolness that you will then try to trick people into thinking is mint, even though it tastes nothing like any sort of mint that you have tried before. I couldn’t make it past a few sips of this. I really tried too, because I knew I was going to have a very late night, but I just could not convince myself that by drinking this I was drinking poison that would inevitably lead to my death.

This is the single worst energy drink I have ever tasted and I can only pray to whatever gods it is that I (don’t) believe in that it is discontinued.

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Erythritol
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on February 25th, 2018
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Rockstar Revolt Killer Grape

Rockstar Revolt Killer Grape

You absolutely know what you are getting yourself into when you grab one of these. If there was any question as to whether this was going to taste exactly like grape soda with melted candy in it, that goes out the window when you crack it open and that unmistakable scent floats up your nostrils. So the magic is not in the taste but in the calorie content. How is it that a 16oz can can (not the dance) contain 48g or sugar when it is sweetened with sucralose as well as sugar? What is the point of the sucralose at that point other than to distract from the grape sludge taste when it’s starting to warm up and you’re getting to the bottom third of the can? This is an odd product because it certainly feels like it would be enjoyed by children, but please don’t feed this stuff to kids. They are annoying enough as it is and I don’t need to deal with the mall hopped up on Grape Death (street name).

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on March 20th, 2018
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Rockstar Xdurance Energy Ripped Red

Rockstar Xdurance Energy Ripped Red

I am not the raging human I once was. There was a time in my life where I would leave for a trip to Toronto at 9PM, get there, hang out for hours, get back in my car and drive the 1:30/2:00 home and arrive in my driveway around 5am. I was perfectly fine doing that. In fact it seemed like a completely reasonable thing to do, and I did it without the help of caffeine or any other upper. It would just be Mike, myself and what we would consider to be good music playing way too loud. These days, leaving at 6 on a December evening feels like I should just be crawling into bed and it is a complete chore. I knew there was no way I would make it back alive without some help, so on the way to the border I stopped at a gas station and picked this up. As proven by me writing this, it works. It more than works. There were no yawns. No heavy eyes. No problems whatsoever. Just complete alertness (to a detrimental effect as I couldn’t fall asleep once I made it home 6 hours after drinking this.

While there is no problem with the functionality of this beverage, the taste leaves something to be desired. I know it’s my fault, expecting something sweetened with sucralose to taste anything but chemical, but I keep hoping a company will crack the code that will hide that gross flavor. Ripped Red is a fruit punch of sorts that seems to be a mixture of cherry, strawberry, and cranberry; a strange, but interesting mix. I think I actually want more strawberry cranberry hybrid drinks. It’s sweet and tastes like a Wonka candy that I wished existed. It’s just too bad that it’s all hidden under a fog of diet. Still I keep buying the low calorie energy drinks when I need them to ensure I don’t pack on the pounds as I get older. No one wants a chunky Jay.

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sucralose
Categories
Diet, Energy Drink
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 12th, 2018
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Rockstar Boom Whipped Strawberry

Rockstar Boom Whipped Strawberry

I don’t know what type of Rockstar who would choose this nonsense as their “drink of choice,” energy related or not. It always blows my mind that energy drinks seem to be made mostly in flavors that would be of interest to mostly children. Is this like cigarette companies making their ads attractive to kids? I’m pretty sure it is. In 15-20 years I can only imagine there will be a crazy spike in the number of heart attacks due to organs being weakened over time from people constantly drinking these things.

You know those strawberry candies that come wrapped in foil/plastic that is supposed to look like a strawberry? This tastes like a watered down version of that with some skim milk in it for some reason. I know it says it’s whipped, but that is still a little unnerving to me. It’s like a liquid strawberries and cream that doesn’t taste even remotely natural. I really chose poorly with this one.

Website
http://www.rockstar69.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Energy Drink
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Jason Draper on December 31st, 2018
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