Taiwan (100 reviews)

Chin Chin Coffee Blue Mountain Style

Chin Chin Coffee Blue Mountain Style

This is the last baby can of coffee I've got to review. It half makes me sad but between you and I, I've got extra duplicates at home that I can enjoy whenever I want.

I don't know why I like this stuff so much. It's the same review as it always is; it's sweet but not too sweet. It's smooth because of the milk (powder). This did taste a little different but I wouldn't be able to explicitly say, "Oh, that's a Blue Mountain right there." It's got a great coffee taste and is not bitter at all. It's good, though. I don't know why we filthy American's don't embrace stuff like this. This is sweetened, canned coffee. We love coffee here. Embrace it, turds. You'll love it. Why do I call you turds? Because this is my website, not yours. This is my soapbox. You don't talk to the man on the soapbox because he's got something important to say. I mean, he brought that box to make a statement and he's going to do it.

Go to your local Asian market and get this. It's not hard to find. Buffalo is hardly a metropolis. If you are in an equal sized city, you've got a bunch of markets. Just walk in, grab a couple cans, pay for them, and sit in your car and cry because your wife left you for a younger man. Also, drink this.

Website
http://enogee.com/Drink.php?ord=Bst&Drink=21&Title=ChinChin_-_Vitality_Boost_energy_drink_review
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 27th, 2018
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Chin Chin Coffee Cappuccino

Chin Chin Coffee Cappuccino

So much Taiwanese coffee. I have been sharing the "wealth" and turning people on my team on to the Chin Chin's and the Mr. Brown's of the world. This is good. I don't drink cappuccino. Does it normally have chocolate in it? Is it coffee beans or espresso beans? Who cares? It was good. It was as smooth as you would want plus that little bit of chocolate turned it into a nice little dessert after lunch. Thirty Helens agree that this cappuccino is worth the $0.79 I paid for it. I would have been able to drink the whole can but you know what? Share it with a friend. It's 9.1 ounces. It is fine, even if it is sweet. Hence, split the difference and make your friend happy. He just had to listen to you talk about your dumb kids for like fifteen minutes. The least you can do is offer him $0.395 worth of cappuccino. Plus, even in this day and age, saying that you will share cappuccino makes you sound like a real fancy pants. Tell your country mom and dad that you bought someone a cappuccino and you will impress them more than when you just barely passed high school and got a solid 2.3 GPA in college. Let's face it, if you were truly bound to do great things, you wouldn't need to impress them with phrases like "I bought my roommate a cappuccino." and "I just got promoted to assistant manager at the candle store, daddy."

Website
http://enogee.com/Drink.php?ord=Bst&Drink=21&Title=ChinChin_-_Vitality_Boost_energy_drink_review
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 22nd, 2018
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Mr. Brown Iced Coffee Macadamea Nut

Mr. Brown Iced Coffee Macadamea Nut

Mr. Brown. What's wrong? Why are you sweating? Come into my office. I heard you yelling at my receptionist. What's going on? There was a murder? What happened? A stabbing? Mr. Brown. That's a very intimate way to murder a man. I'm pretty sure the last time we spoke I told you not to murder someone, didn't I? That's what did it? I put the idea in your head? Don't put this on me, Mr. Brown. You are the one that stabbed someone. How many times? Seventy two times? Who was it? Your gardener? What did he do? Trim your topiary incorrectly? He formed it into a what? A wiener?! Mr. Brown, that's no reason to stab a guy six dozen times. Well I don't know what type of service I can offer you but...oh...you know what? Good thing you came in here. I wanted to talk to you about something. What? Yes, I think those are police cars. Hey I wanted to tell you that I tried this Macadamia Nut iced coffee and it's some of your best work. Sure you can lock the door. Take a seat, Mr. Brown. You're making me nervous. I'm trying to tell you that I really liked this iced coffee. It's smooth, like I would expect anything else from you but the nuttiness is very prevalent and enjoyable. I would never tell you to change your cans or serving sizes but it was hard not to open another one. I know what's right for me and if I have a second can of your coffee, I'd be bouncing off the walls much like you are doing. Why are you so nervous? Oh, right, the stabbing. You can try to jump out the window but we're on the second floor. You have a nice suit on. It would be a shame if you scuffed it up when you hit the ground. You think you can do it? You're really going to have to tuck and roll to pull this off, Mr. Brown. You're going to do it? Well don't let me get in the way. I'll actually help you out with the window as the latch is a bit tricky. Well if you don't get caught are we still on for Saturday at the golf course? Alright. Oh, you have a plus one? Your other gardener? Is he a good golfer? Better than me? Mr. Brown, you're as good a comic as you are a murderer. Have a good one. I'll talk to you soon if you don't get in trouble. I think they're knocking down my office doors. Remember to bend at the knees. Take care, Mr. Brown.

Website
http://www.mrbrown.com.tw
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 21st, 2018
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Chin Chin Coffee Classic

Chin Chin Coffee Classic

Something about this coffee takes me back in time, to a time that I never knew. The sunny 1970's. With every sip I feel my hair get greasier and my pants get wider. I feel the shag in the carpet get shaggier and all of a sudden all the walls have mirrors on them.

This coffee is sweet coffee with cream in it. Deal with it. Want black coffee? Get the hell out of my house. Get the hell out of my wood paneled house that all of a sudden plays nothing but Abba songs. It's not too sweet and neither the sugar nor the cream detracts from a decent coffee. I think some might think that it's too sweet but it's not going to put air holes in me ol' chompers. Is it going to win any awards? Probably not but I'm not going to turn it down when offered. Who is offering me Taiwanese coffee drinks in indestructible steel cans? No one. I need to find new friends.

Website
http://enogee.com/Drink.php?ord=Bst&Drink=21&Title=ChinChin_-_Vitality_Boost_energy_drink_review
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 21st, 2018
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Mr. Brown Iced Coffee Vanilla

Mr. Brown Iced Coffee Vanilla

Mr. Brown, it’s so nice of you to return. It's been a while. How long has it been, old friend? Since 2013? Well it has been too long. Please, take a seat. What have you got for us today? Vanilla iced coffee? Well why don't you pour us a couple glasses and we'll get down to business.

This is nice. I see you haven't lost your edge in this game. This is good. It’s the same great coffee taste with the smoothness of some vanilla. I'm surprised you hadn't thought of this earlier. Just the right amount of sugar to have to be drinkable and still using those indestructible, adorable cans, I see. Mr. Brown. You've done it again. I don't know how you do it, but you've got quite the empire on your hands.

Thank you for stopping by and giving me a sneak peek at this new little number. I'm sure it will do very well for you, as the rest of your little drinks do. Get home safely and please, Mr. Brown, try not to murder anyone on the way home, alright, friend? I'll talk to you soon.

Website
http://www.mrbrown.com.tw
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Coffee
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 19th, 2018
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Ito En Unsweetened Golden Oolong Tea

Ito En Unsweetened Golden Oolong Tea

Ahh tea: The drink of the gods. Sure, some people might say that it's wine but they are wrong and simultaneously dumb. Tea is the drink of the gods. It comes from the earth and goes back in. Cycles. It's all about cycles.

This tea is not like black tea and it's not like green tea. There is a certain maturity to Oolong tea that you don't get with a basic black or a green. It somehow tastes aged or weathered or something. This tea in particular is good. You know, Ito En knows what's up. They really nail it on their unsweetened teas. When Thirsty Dudes is inevitably bought out by Rupert Murdoch, I will spend the $45 that Jay and I have split from the $90 that he offered us that we idiotically accepted with no counter offer on iced tea. It's the only just thing to do. This tea though, man. It's good. It's a dark flavor that can only be acquired by way of trial and error. It's good. Rupert, buddy, we're waiting for your check and if you tell us "it's in the mail...well, we'll probably believe you."

Website
http://www.itoen.com/
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 12th, 2015
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Buy Now
Ito En Tea Beverage, Unsweetened Golden Oolong, 16.9 Ounce (Pack of 12)

Kuang Chuan Milk Tea Earl Gray

Kuang Chuan Milk Tea Earl Gray

Some people enjoy things like lavender or chamomile to calm them down but something about this drink is really putting the relax into me.

It is a good split between milk, smooth and Earl Gray, a pretty neutral tea. Lightly sweetened and placed gingerly into a baby carton, this drink provides countless minutes of sipping pleasure. It's not bitter, not too sweet, and is a good blend of everything that you would want in a milk tea, if you have ever heard of milk tea before and craved it. Hey, I've had stranger cravings for things.

Like I said, this is a relaxing, smooth drink that is meant to be sipped on your front porch, back porch, beachfront property or anything in between. I am very relaxed drinking it. Either that or the fact that I'm listening to Das Racist "Relax."

Website
http://www.kuangchuan.com/
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea, Milk
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 28th, 2014
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Kuang Chuan Milk Tea Darjeeling

Kuang Chuan Milk Tea Darjeeling

John left from a long day of work and he was exhausted. He looked out the window of his of car and it was snowing and he knew that his day was not over because he knew before he was going to be able to kick off his shoes and sit down he was going to have to shovel. He didn't hate shoveling but after a long day of work, he just wanted to relax. He pulled up to his driveway and saw the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Someone had plowed his driveway. He had no idea who it could have been. He ran inside to get a gift and started knocking on his neighbor's doors to see if he could find out who it was.

He went to one neighbor who owned a plow but he wasn't home. He went to another house and his wife answered the door. John asked if her husband was home and she said that he was and went to go get him. A short moment later he came to the door. John asked him if he plowed his driveway and he told him that he did.

John was so thankful he nearly hugged the guy. He held back and thanked him graciously and handed him a carton of a drink. The man asked what the drink was to which John replied, "It's milk tea." The man didn't know what to think and John said that it was a great secret that he would pick up at Asian markets every once in a while and he thought that he would thank him with it. The man thanked him and asked if he wanted to split it with him. John said he would and they both went into the house.

The man poured the drink into a glass for him and drank out of the carton himself. He took a small sip and then took a larger sip. He told John that he liked it. He said that it tasted like a cup of tea with some sugar and milk in it and that it was so simple it made it even better. He said that the milk kind of disguised the actual tea flavor but that it was still good and he was happy he knew that this new product existed.

John and the man finished their drinks and John once again thanked the man for plowing his driveway. The man said that it was no problem and if he ever had some extra time and a car wasn't in the driveway that he would do it again. John was happy to have a neighbor as nice as that.

Website
http://www.kuangchuan.com/
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Fructose
Categories
Iced Tea, Milk
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 7th, 2014
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Gudao Plum Green Tea

Gudao Plum Green Tea

Shane. Get in here. What are you thinking with this? We can't put this out to the public. It's...it's...bland. It also tastes like it might have gone bad. Why is it with every sip I feel like I'm drinking the black plague? It's just a lightly fruity tea. Sure, it says it's "green tea" but I don't really get any bite. As for the plum, yeah, it's there but between the two of them, they're just kind of mellowing out in a sea of mediocrity.

I don't know what's gotten into you lately. You said you were working on something great and this is it? I don’t know. We might have to think about getting a new research and development guy in here because this is beyond lackluster. It feels dangerous to drink, actually. Oh. Oh. You say this isn't what you've been working on and it's just something that you mixed together with some stuff you found in the communal kitchen? Oh. Well sorry, Shane. What have you been working on? A diaper that can hold more poop? You're wearing it? You've been wearing it for how long?! Six days? Shane?! That's disgusting. Disgusting and brilliant. You've kept your job buddy. Keep up the good and non-stinky work.

Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Iced Tea
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on February 3rd, 2014
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Taisun Jelly Drink Lychee

Taisun Jelly Drink Lychee

Looking to expand your horizons? Sure. Why wouldn't you be? No one likes to be stagnant. No one likes to eat the same thing over and over again. No one likes to do the same thing time and time again. People need variance. People need change. I bet you don't drink juice with chunks of fermented coconut in it. If you do, I think the next step is something sassy like latex fun. If you haven't gotten there yet, chunky drinks that taste like flowers are the previous step. It's a good step, too. Sometimes the flowers can be too perfumy but sometimes they can be alright. In this drink's case, they are pretty good. There is a nice, firm texture on the coconut chunks and the flavor is a nicely sweetened, nicely floral little number.

You should know as soon as you drink this, though. You should know that the next step is, as I mentioned before, latex fun. Tight stuff. Stuff with zippers. Like it or not, that's next. Brace yourself. It gets hot in there.

Website
http://www.taisun.co.uk/
Country
Taiwan
Sweetener
Sugar
Categories
Chunky, Jelly, Juice
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 30th, 2014
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