Mike Literman (1766 reviews)

Mike loves new drinks. He's drank some gross stuff in his day, and this blog is making him drink even more against his will. That being said, he wouldn't trade it in for the world. He loves new beverages and is always, and always will be, on a quest for something new.

Alo Coco Exposed Wheatgrass

Alo Coco Exposed Wheatgrass

Nope. I went into this thinking it was going to be gross and hoping to be wrong and I was right. Story time? You've got it.

There was once a bar that Jay DJ'd at and it was pretty great. They sold everything and also served food and drink. You could go in there, buy a nice meal and the chair you sat in to eat it. Tables, chairs, toys, odds and ends, and more; everything was for sale. It was cool. Jay and I were there for a night he was playing and he took a break and they offered wheatgrass so we split a shot of it. It wasn't bad. We thought it was going to be gross, but it just tastes like the smell of freshly cut grass. A little sweet but very...fresh. Very green. It's got some immense amount of vitamins and minerals equivalent to multiple servings of vegetables.

This is just a strange, smooth, chunky texture, like if you watered down your morning oatmeal and drank it, except your oatmeal smelled like if you poured the dust from a box of Cheerios into a cup rather than actual cereal.

This is bad. I have said it before and I'll say it again. How does stuff like this make it to market?

Website
http://www.alodrink.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
No Sugar Added
Categories
Aloe Vera, Chunky, Coconut
Rating
1/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on March 6th, 2012
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Aloe Farm Coco Expds, Wheatgrass, 11.80-Ounce (Pack of 12)

Aloe Very Original

Aloe Very Original

"It probably tastes like grapes." I say. "That's what it usually tastes like." I follow up. My friend Dan took this out of the fridge. I told him whatever he picks he has to take the first sip to which he agreed. He took a sip and oh, the disgust on his face. It worried me because we're usually on par when it comes to drinks. I took my own sip and man was he right. This sucks.

So let's draw a picture here as to why I came up with that blanket description. For one, it tastes medicinal. It tastes like something you would rub on a burn you got from making Jiffy Pop and trying your best, but failing, because you put your hand close to the heat. The chunks are in there but the flavor...ugh. It's a mix between plastic and rotten grapes. It's sour and bitter but it tastes as if they made it there by accident and it's not intentional.

This drink, much like that tattoo you have of a Creed lyric, is a mistake.

Website
http://aloeverydrink.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Aloe Vera
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 14th, 2014
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Aloe Very Lemonade

Aloe Very Lemonade

Talk about gross. Look, I like lemonade as much as the next guy. I like aloe drinks more than the next guy. This marriage will most certainly end in divorce because it is like an oil and water mix. It's sour but it's a bitter, undesirable sour. What's good about this? It can't be all bad.

You can taste each of the flavors. If you could somehow separate the liquid in your mouth to one side aloe and one side lemonade, you would be satisfied. Touch them together and it's a chemical reaction that could melt a house. I don't know how that's so. Maybe it's the smooth and sweetness of aloe and the bitter sourness of lemonade just compiling in to a "too many flavors" in your mouth. Whatever's happening, the fish in the Niagara River are going to have to enjoy the rest of this because I quit.

Website
http://aloeverydrink.com/
Country
United States
Sweetener
Organic Cane Sugar
Categories
Aloe Vera, Chunky, Lemonade
Rating
2/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 8th, 2015
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Aloe Very Lemonade - Organic Aloe Vera Juice (Pack of 12)

Aloe Water Natural Detox Drink Aloe Vera Juice + Mixed Fruit

Aloe Water Natural Detox Drink Aloe Vera Juice + Mixed Fruit

I often wonder what one would want to "detoxify" themselves of. Obviously if you smoked a pound, or kilogram to our metric brethren, of week, you might want to get that out of your system. It’s the same with any sort of drug. Aside from that, you can't really "detoxify" yourself of a giant hamburger that you shouldn't have eaten but the menu said that it had chipotle in it and that is your weakness. Water, I feel, would probably be the best detox drink because it doesn't leave anything behind. No sugar. No carbs. I think I've heard that cranberry juice is a good cleanser, but once again, what are you doing that you need to be cleansed?

I kind of expected this to be lighter than a typical aloe drink, you know, because it's called "Aloe Water". I thought that it might be in the beginning, but after you take a couple sips, you're right there with the rest of them. One thing that I did notice is that the "chunk count" is less in this than in many of the other aloe drinks I've had. That's never good. If I'm buying a drink, knowingly with chunks in it, I never want to chance that I will take a sip and not have anything to chew on. Taste? It tastes good. It's fruity but you still get a pretty good aloe taste to it. Think of a very light fruit punch mixed with an "original" flavored aloe. There is honey in the ingredients but I can't really pinpoint it in the drink itself.

If I ran this company, which also makes Coco Water, I would drop the tagline of "Natural Detox Drink" because it makes me feel dirty every time I read it. I would say something like "100% All Natural" or "All Natural Aloe" or "Naturally Sweetened". Why make something out of nothing. I have drunk my share of aloe drinks and I've never heard it be considered detoxifying.

Also, don't smoke a pound of weed. Go outside and play.

Website
http://naturalaloewater.com
Country
Thailand
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Aloe Vera, Chunky
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on May 21st, 2011
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Aloe Water Natural Detox Drink Original

Aloe Water Natural Detox Drink Original

My girlfriend bought this bread from a local, organic bakery. They are known for their hand crafted, unique, flavorful breads. She bought a loaf of apple cider bread. All day I wanted that bread but we had a million things to do. Next day? Half of the day was filled with stuff to do and finally, in the late evening, we had our chance. I got a knife out and cut a nice slice of bread for each of us and sat down to watch "Jon Benjamin Has A Van" because it's wonderfully hilarious. Do you want to know what wasn't hilarious? How simply awful this bread was. Aside from it having no flavor, the sheer "whole wheat" of it all left a sandy, unwanted aftertaste.

Thinking that we, perhaps, got a dull slice, I brought it to work where I cut another piece for myself. Just as bad. Thank God I had this drink to wash it down. It's very sweet and today I needed it because I couldn't deal with the feeling of someone chewing flavorless, whole wheat bread and spitting it into my mouth like some sort of baby bird. Good sized chunks and totally natural ingredients are the key to a good aloe. I actually like this better than some of the flavored aloe that I have had from these guys.

So there is still half a loaf of bread and it's on the fast track to staying half a loaf of bread with mold on it really soon. Don't mess with Texas and don't mess with bread.

Website
http://naturalaloewater.com
Country
Thailand
Sweetener
Cane Sugar
Categories
Aloe Vera, Chunky
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on August 16th, 2011
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Aloe Vera Juice - 100% Natural 16 Oz

Aloevine Grape

Aloevine Grape

Look, I'm a fan of aloe vera drinks. I was a fan of Orbitz when that came out and this is like a more socially acceptable, adult Orbitz. This is one of the most sweet aloe drinks I've ever had, but I'm actually excited that it comes in a small container because prior to this, I've only seen them in giant 40+ ounce containers. That's fine, but it takes me days to drink, which is also fine. Typically, this stuff is cheap, too, like ~$1.50 for the small ones, and ~$3 - $4 for the "honkin'" ones.

Is grape good? Yeah, it's alright. It's, as stated, mondo sweet and very close to a concord grape. You can even think that the aloe chunks are actual bits of grape, but they're not.

All in all, try it. Kids might think it's cool because it's got "stuff" in it. Aloe is good for the skin so it's that whole "don't tell kids that it's good for them or they won't eat/drink it" garbage the media is pushing on us, which I could not disagree with more.

Website
http://www.saluttiflorida.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Fructose
Categories
Aloe Vera, Chunky
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 20th, 2010
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Aloevine Aloe Vera Drink Grape Flavor (1.5ltr) 12 Pack

Aloevine Pomegranate

Aloevine Pomegranate

Quite a departure from the flavor country that is grape Aloevine, but it's nice. It's not too strong and you don't get the bitterness that is often associated with pomegranate drinks. Plus, I mean come on, the chunks.

This is a light flavor, like a well-made juice with aloe in it. Like if you went to the store, bought mix, which was in concentrate form, not powder, and then ground up an aloe plant and put the shavings in your drink.

If you haven't had any aloe vera drinks up to now, this is a good, safe place to start. Nothing is overpowering. If you love it, you have the ability to buy the 1.5 liter bottles of it. Thanks Aloevine!

Website
http://www.saluttiflorida.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Fructose
Categories
Aloe Vera, Chunky
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on September 30th, 2010
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Aloevine Aloe Vera Drink Pomegranate Flavor (1.5ltr) 12 Pack

Aloevine Aloe

Aloevine Aloe

This is the standard, the model, the base, the #1. It's so clean. It tastes like grape, but is just aloe. I like this and it might be my favorite that Aloevine has to offer. Not that I don't like the flavored ones, I just think that I like the flavor of this one best. I like that it tastes like grape and has the chunks in it. It makes me feel like I am eating a grape. Why don't I just eat a grape? I'm drinking a drink that tastes like grape, why would I drink something that tastes like grape, too? Seems like overkill to me.

I might say that if you are at all curious about the wonderful world of aloe, this might be a safe one to start with. None of it is overwhelming.

Website
http://www.saluttiflorida.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Fructose
Categories
Aloe Vera, Chunky
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on October 28th, 2010
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Aloevine Pineapple

Aloevine Pineapple

Could this be wonderful because I was thirsty? Possibly. Could this be wonderful because I like pineapple? Possibly? Could this be wonderful because it is what it is? Probably.

I don't remember if I've had the pineapple version before but I am happy to have officially had it now because it is fantastic. It doesn't taste like a pineapple juice, it tastes like a juice that is pineapple flavored. That is not a bad thing because it's not a bad drink.

Come on now. We've reviewed like half a dozen of these and if you haven't tried one by now, what are you waiting for? We love them and you should get on the boat with us. We're friendly and will rip on your dork boyfriend and hit on you, when in actuality we couldn't care less about what you do with your cats for Easter.

Website
http://www.saluttiflorida.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Fructose
Categories
Aloe Vera, Chunky
Rating
4/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on November 8th, 2010
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Aloevine Aloe Vera Drink Pineapple Flavor (.5 Ltr) Pack of 20

Aloevine Guava

Aloevine Guava

I am not too familiar with guava. I think as a standard American, I'm used to fruits like apples, grapes, oranges, and watermelon. Oh, and mush melon. Honeydew is great, too. Oh, man do I love pineapple, too. Mangoes and Guava were unheard of until I was, without exaggeration, 15 or something. By then, I had a handful of great fruits to rely on and that I liked. Why would I need anything else? Well, why do I need to drink beverages with chunks in it? Why do I need to eat things with ham on it? I eat them because they're friggin' delicious and someone made them and why not. That's why.

I don't blame my parents for not giving me "exotic" fruits. It's not their fault. They bought like ten other fruits regularly. I can't hold my parents responsible for not introducing me to everything. That's a ridiculous demand and I understand that.

This drink, guava in flavor, is good. It's right on the cusp of sweetness. Teetering on the fence of good and a bit too sweet, this drink was very bold. It has so much fruit flavor. After drinking those Alo aloe vera drinks, these aloe chunks seem baby sized. I'm not using that against them or even asking them to step up their chunk game. Just stating something I noticed.

Enough review, go drink.

Website
http://www.saluttiflorida.com
Country
United States
Sweetener
Fructose
Categories
Aloe Vera, Chunky
Rating
3/5
Reviewed By
Mike Literman on January 25th, 2011
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Aloevine Aloe Vera Drink Guava Flavor (.5 Ltr) 20 Pack
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